Kyrstannie.Com

Poetry Collection & Some Thoughts...

[kyrstannie]

Elliot, quer falar alguma coisa?

― Não, cara. Meu sistema está travado.

― Deus pode te ajudar.

― É isso que Deus faz? Ele ajuda? Diga-me. Por que Deus não ajudou meu amigo inocente que morreu sem motivo, enquanto o culpado está livre? Certo, tudo bem. Esqueça os casos individuais. E as inúmeras guerras declaradas em nome Dele? Certo, tudo bem. Vamos pular os assassinatos por um segundo, podemos? Que tal a sopa de fobia racista e sexista em que estamos nos afogando por causa Dele? E não estou falando só de Jesus. Estou falando de todas as religiões organizadas. Grupos exclusivos criados para controlar. Um traficante fazendo as pessoas se drogarem na esperança. Seus seguidores são viciados que querem sua dose de mentira para manterem sua dopamina de ignorância. Viciados com medo de acreditarem na verdade, de que não há ordem, não há poder. Que todas as religiões estão fazendo a metástase de vermes mentais para nos dividirem, para ser mais fácil de sermos dominados pelos charlatões que querem nos controlar. Somos apenas consumidores para eles de suas ficções científicas pessimamente escritas. Se eu não escuto meu amigo imaginário, por que caralhos eu devia escutar o de vocês? As pessoas acham que suas adorações são alguma chave para a felicidade. É assim que Ele ganha você. Nem eu sou tão louco para acreditar nessa distorção da realidade. Então que se foda Deus! Ele não é um bode expiatório bom o suficiente para mim. (Elliot Alderson, Mr. Robot S02E03)

[kyrstannie]

This Flag not Fondly Waving

"Now it’s computers and more computers and soon everybody will have one, 3-year-olds will have computers and everybody will know everything about everybody else long before they meet them and so they won’t want to meet them. nobody will want to meet anybody else ever again and everybody will be a recluse like I am now.” ― Charles Bukowski, The Continual Condition

[c0ffee-and-literature]

I know I miss you because it happens in daylight. When I’m driving down a road with a view and the sun is hitting me, I think of how good you’d look beside me. And how great your laugh would sound, joining me when I’m out with friends. Or how much warmer the bed would be with you in it.

- S.A // I miss you even when I’m not lonely

[kyrstannie]

The virus...

“The single biggest threat to man’s continued dominance on the planet is the virus.” ("A maior ameaça ao domínio do homem neste planeta é o vírus.") ― Joshua Lederberg, Ph.D (Nobel Laureate)

[kyrstannie]

Saddest people...

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” ― Robin Williams.

[kyrstannie]

As pessoas são estranhas...

“As pessoas são estranhas: elas estão constantemente irritadas por coisas triviais mas a questão principal, de como desperdiçam suas vidas, parecem nem notar.” ― Charles Bukowski.

[kyrstannie]

Quando vier a Primavera

Quando vier a Primavera, Se eu já estiver morto, As flores florirão da mesma maneira E as árvores não serão menos verdes que na primavera passada A realidade não precisa mais de mim. Sinto uma alegria enorme Ao pensar que a minha morte não tem importância nenhuma Se soubesse que amanhã morria E a Primavera era depois de amanhã, Morreria contente, porque ela era depois de amanhã. Se esse é o seu tempo, quando havia ela de vir senão no seu tempo? Gosto que tudo seja real e que tudo esteja certo; E gosto porque assim seria, mesmo que eu não gostasse. Por isso, se morrer agora, morro contente, Porque tudo é real e tudo está certo. Podem rezar latim sobe o meu caixão, se quiserem. Se quiserem, podem cantar e dançar à roda dele. Não tenho preferências para quando já não puder ter preferências. O que for, quando for, é que será o que é. ― Alberto Caeiro, Poemas Inconjuntos

[kyrstannie]

Lost Soul

You pass me on the street and out eyes briefly meet. You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you. I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank. In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile, you have no idea that my heart is in denial. You ask me how my day was and I say fine. You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line. My happiness is gone as I walk in this world. The thoughts in my head have me wishing I was laying in a cold dark hole. Once you lose your soul there is no turning back. Everything you once dreamed of no longer has an impact. You don't want to love nor do you want to have fun. Your days are so long the problems in your mind make you question if you should carry on. You smile so that's what people see on your face, they think that you are happy but deep down inside you feel like a worthless disgrace. Each day the performance you put on for people is Emmy award winning, But you question yourself and wonder if you act is just a way for you to hold off your own internal sinnings. When you wake up from a night's sleep you wonder to yourself if today is the day your heart will be back to it's old self or will it still be skipping every other beat. You wonder if things that once made you happy to be alive will make a comeback. You wonder if the little things in life that made you who you are will have you once again dreaming to the stars. You wonder if you will feel less empty hearted. You wonder to yourself who holds the match to start that fire. You're tired of running and losing your breath. You want to hold tight to something that will help you once again enjoy the journey into lives amazing treks. You want to feel that every day can be better than the last. You want to turn your lost soul feeling into a thing of your past.....

[kyrstannie]

Human relationships...

“Human relationships are strange. I mean, you were with one person a while, eating and sleeping and living with them, loving them, talking to them, going places together, and then it stopped. Then there was a short period when you weren't with anybody, then another woman arrived, and you ate with her and fucked her, and it all seemed so normal, as if you had been waiting just for her and she had been waiting for you. I never felt right being alone; sometimes it felt good but it never felt right.” ― Charles Bukowski, Women

[kyrstannie]

Elliot, would you like to share?

― No, man. My system’s hung.

― God can help you.

― Is that what God does? He helps? Tell me, why didn’t God help my innocent friend who died for no reason while the guilty roam free? Okay, fine. Forget the one-offs. How about the countless wars declared in his name? Okay, fine. Let’s skip the random, meaningless murder for a second, shall we? How about the racist, sexist, phobia soup we’ve all been drowning in because of him? And I’m not just talking about Jesus. I’m talking about all organized religion… exclusive groups created to manage control, a dealer getting people hooked on the drug of hope, his followers nothing but addicts who want their hit of bullshit to keep their… their dopamine of ignorance, addicts afraid to believe the truth… that there is no order, there’s no power, that all religions are just metastasizing mind worms meant to divide us so it’s easier to rule us by the charlatans that want to run us. All we are to them are paying fanboys of their poorly written sci-fi franchise. If I don’t listen to my imaginary friend, why the fuck should I listen to yours? People think their worship’s some key to happiness. That’s just how he owns you. Even I’m not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality. So fuck God! He’s not a good enough scapegoat for me. (Elliot Alderson, Mr. Robot S02E03)

[kyrstannie]

Understand me...

"Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul." ― Charles Bukowski

[kyrstannie]

You can't fire me...

Suicide is man's way of telling God, “You can't fire me - I quit.” ― Bill Maher

[kyrstannie]

Foolish Friendship

Today I stopped trying to be 'someone' for somebody who never thought of me as anyone appreciated and important to them. Inside I know the space I had for them is now crushed and broken... Let the facts be out in the open and the truth be spoken… In time it will be for the best… although I feel an emptiness… knowing what I considered worthwhile… proved shallow and unreal. I've learned sometimes emotions seem clearer than perception... and eventually can lead to a heartbreaking revelation that someone cherished proves that their friendship was in fact deception. I cry tears of realization that once again I believed the lies that were in disguise and covered up… Honesty was masked with coy flattery. Why was I so darn naive? I can and will move on… but I won't forget I was forgotten and actually believed a lie. Not a lie out of the mouth… but of the heart. That piece of friendship is now torn apart... I mustn't be sorry for the encouragement and love I shared… because I know what I offered was itself a dare. A dare to let someone be a part of me… who didn't find a reason to care. Moments like these are rare… moments that I feel what I felt to be 'nothing' now and bare. Thanks for the lesson learned… and always remembered. You were a 'lucky' someone who successfully got a part of the best of me. Now I'll throw away the scattered and useless pieces and leave you be.

[kyrstannie]

No obligation...

"I am under no obligation to make sense to you." — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

[kyrstannie]

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

[kyrstannie]

Cross my heart…

Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. Wait a moment, I spoke a lie. I never really wanted to die, but if I may, and if I might my heart is open for tonight. Though my lips are sealed and a promise is true, I won't break my word, my word to you. Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. A secret's a secret, my word is forever, I will tell no one about your cruel endeavor. You claim no pain but I see right through your words in everything you do. Teary eyes, broken heart, life has torn you apart Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. I loved you then, I love you now, I'll still love you though I'll break my vow. I can't hold this secret any longer, it's hurting you, not making you stronger. You're my friend so I'll risk your respect by hurting you. I can protect, I'll save you since you will not. You might hate me, but I'll give it a shot. I'm willing to risk our bond that we own. As long as you're safe you won't be alone. Cross my heart hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. Break my promise, tell a lie, save my friend, though maybe it's 'bye'.

[kyrstannie]

Mantra To Overcome Depression

Vitamin D. Sunlight. Go outside. Get a good night of sleep. Not too good. Not shades drawn forever good. Not like you used to. Open the windows. Buy more houseplants. Breathe. Meditate. (One day, you will no longer be afraid of being alone with your thoughts.) Exercise. Actually exercise instead of just googling it. Eat well. Cook for yourself. Organize your closet, the garage. Drink plenty of water and repeat after me: I am not a problem to be solved. Repeat after me: I am worthy I am worthy I am neither the mistake nor the punishment. Forget to take vitamins. Let the houseplant die. Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter. Shave your head. Forget this poem. It doesn’t matter– there is no wrong way to remember the grace of your own body; no choice that can unmake itself. There is only now, here, look: you are already forgiven. ― Sierra DeMulder, Mantra To Overcome Depression.