descensum @l-eighannne - Tumblr Blog

Something’s not right. I’m not sure if something is missing or if it was there and disappeared or if it even existed within us in the first place. But I’m not gonna say that. I think there’s something. it’s just...not the same. Or we forgot about it.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I want this so badly. I want you.

But it seems like you’ve gotten tired of me. You don’t want me anymore. Or you don’t love me anymore like you thought you did. Or maybe you didn’t love me at all? No. There’s no way of that. I know you love me.

It’s me? I’m trying. I’m really fucking trying here. And you make it so fucking hard. You make me hate myself. You call me a ho. You call me a slut. You call me stupid.

You told me, “I was fine before you. You fooled me. ”

What the fuck happened.

I happened.

And I’m sorry I happened.

What the fuck do I need to do to make you love me again?

betterthankanyebitch

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How extra I’m trying to be with babe ☺️😂

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I’m doing something...wrong.

I don’t think I show my affection as clear as i intend it to be. Or maybe it’s just that I’m not doing enough. Maybe I don't deserve to be in a relationship with a man who’s as good to me as he is. I feel like I’m not making him happy. I’m just...in the way. Or something. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a nuisance? A burden, perhaps? I’m competing with another version of myself that he expects. I’m not that great of a person. I’m selfish and inconsiderate and too impulsive. Maybe I’m not fit to be dating anybody right now because I’m so insecure about what I can give to another person.

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I can no longer let myself suffer through the pain of loving someone who doesn’t treat me the way I deserve. But its such a hard thing to do--staying with someone because I love him but am no longer in love with him. I have come to the firm realization that just because two people love and care for each other doesn’t mean they should be together.

and it’s time for me to accept that no matter how much I don’t want to.