Iām not even done and this has taken me over eight hours, and with the yt shorts algorithm itās probably only gonna get me like five bucks WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF š
I was thinking about drawing something like this for a while, and the Discord event seemed like the perfect opportunity to manifest my ideas. Plus, getting to merge two of my fandoms was a lot of fun. š
Tyrant HASN'T been introduced yet, so the second image doesn't count as an entry, but I wanted to draw it anyway because IT FITS SO WELL!!
Me and the discord server agreed that the most accurate portrayal of the Stellar Squad would be:
Carme - Leonardo
Dahlia - Raphael
Moon - Donatello
Sun - Michelangelo
Really, Mikey doesn't actually fit in with the squad buuuuut... Leo, Raph, and Donnie fit the other three so well, and there was only one turtle left. š«
So Rigel said some interesting things. Saying that Carmine had gone āawryā before leaving. So it makes me wonder if Carmine wanted to leave the circus and he may have accidentally caused the fire?
Just a theory.
Also I feel bad for Carmine. I know why Moon seemed mean, but I have been in that spiral before and sometimes you have to help yourself out of the panic and spiral before people can help you.
Hopefully he has a good conversation with Moon later.
Carme being afraid of the circus makes sense considering the fact circuses are infamous for abusing animals, and animatronics are viewed as more tools rather than alive by humans within the multiverse. And itās even more implied with the fact Carme suggested to harm Sprinkles as discipline. Which couldāve been learnt from experience.
So yes your honor Carme is likely a victim of abuse.
I just find it funny how I kept seeing posts of Carme being religious and then I see a bunch of people say that the carnival is a cult? Like where are yāall getting this from? š
Iām not the only one who loves Rigel, right? I donāt know if I can hate him, though. Especially since we still donāt know anything about the past he had with Carmine.
I like his voice, and his design. I like the way he speaks. I like joking I hate him.
He speaks like those villains from older movies in my opinion.
I thought it was interesting that he called Carmine his ābest friendā, which makes me wonder what their relationship was.
We donāt know anything about Rigel, or Carmine. All we know is Carmine was in a circus, it burnt down. Rigel is all burnt.
Rigel doesnāt talk bad about Carmine. He lists everything heās good at, calls him his best friend. He says Carmine is āon his adventuresā, asks when heāll come home, that he doesnāt belong outside.
I think their relationship might be like Blizto and Fizz. Once best friends, both had different dreams.
I think Carmine had dreams, wanted to leave the circus. I think Rigel didnāt want him to go, that their home was the circus. And then a fire started.
Iām gonna be honest chat, Carmineās panic attack in todayās episode reminded me of my own last year when I turned 21.
For context:
As Iāve stated before, I am a victim of SA, via my stepdad. And itās because of that trauma, I cannot remember a lot of my life. While my household had some good memories, a lot of it held bad ones too. And because of that, hearing people yell, scream or throw stuff sends me into a panic attack because of that. I am very sensitive to being scolded even gently because of it.
Carmine being sent back to the place that sends him into a panick attack, scared out of his mind, not thinking straight and wanting to be left alone, is very personal to me.
I was working at a hardware store near my house on my birthday, I had just turned 21st. The day started out great; Coworkers were wishing me happy birthday, making jokes theyād buy me a shot (I donāt drink. Will NEVER drink, because of that man). The day was going perfectly fine. Until two coworkers started arguing outside in the garden section. One had three herinas, one was stressed with his position as manager. Both were taking their frustrations out on each other. Our newly hired HR lady had to go out to separate them because the screaming started to get loud. (According to my best friend at work, the fight had gotten so bad that Manager dude had at one point, pulled out his pocket knife mid fight. He was a retired veteran, a lot of our workers were)
I could hear them cussing and yelling through the glass doors. I was trying to just help customers as the cashier. Could hear the HR lady yelling at them to knock it off, manager guy comes in, pissed as hell. And then the moment that sent me panicking; He came in, screaming and chucked his keys into the ground, hitting a display. The sound echoing in my ears and I felt my nervous system just go into overdrive. HR lady comes out after him, telling him to go outside and cool off before he comes back, he walks off.
Imagines of 7 year old me hearing my screaming parents filled my brain, remembering how my stepdad used to throw things. I was shaking, I was trying not to cry. Do you know how hard it is to not breakdown when a customer is RIGHT there at your register?
The second that customer left, I started hyperventilating, pacing, gripping my clothes, trying to calm down, trying to take deep breaths.
Like Carmine, breathing wasnāt helping. Trying to focus on anything wasnāt helping, it was making it worse. While nothing was done TO me, being in a place that triggered such an attack and not being able to leave was causing me so much distress that I couldnāt think. All I wanted to do was go home.
Another friend of mine had walked over just in time to see me in such a state, immediately asked what was wrong. All I could say was āI-Iā¦ didnāt grow up in a peaceful household. Screaming and loud noisesā¦ā thatās all she has to know. Guys, she was 17 and she had to comfort ME. The girl who JUST turned 21. I felt so ashamed that she felt responsible. She hugged him tight and I could feel myself just shaking in her arms, needing to just let it out. She told me to go to the bathroom, sheād cover for me. I sped off, rushing past other coworkers that saw tears run down my face.
Second I was in that stall, I breakdown. I screamed, I sobbed. I wanted to go home. I almost dropped my phone trying to dial my mother. The second she picked up and I called out her name, she immediately knew, asked what happened. Told her I was locked in the bathroom because a fight broke out, said sheād be there soon. I didnāt come out til she got there.
Second my mom walked in with my little brother, I just collapsed in her arms. Thatās what different between me and Carmine. He doesnāt wanna be comforted, he doesnāt wanna be touched, or held, or talked too. Heās already overstimulated. (And thatās okay, it happens. Everyone is different)
But me? I HAVE to be held. I NEED to be held. I need to feel like Iām safe, otherwise, Iād probably do something stupid.
I left work early. I think about that day a lot, how wrong everything went. It was a hard day. I donāt think we had cake that day either. I canāt remember.
I relate a lot to Carmine. Iām mostly calm, chill. I like to talk to people, I like to be helpful to my friends. Think Ragatha and Pomni from TADC. Or Earth from LAES 2.0. People that others lean on. That is me.
So to see a character thatās always there for others, thatās never been seen in such a state like this..ā¦ reminded me a lot of myself. This was a good episode.
The acting was great, and it makes me curious as to what happened between Rigel and Carmine for Carmine to have such a violent reaction to being back at the circus and hearing Rigel again.
Imma be honest that Moonās reaction in this episode kinda pissed me off though, he saying āI donāt care if youāre fine, Iām asking if you and me will deal with thisā rubbed me the wrong way. But I think itās because Moon is realizing that he and Carmine arenāt that much different from each other. Carmine is still a Moon and every Moon has his issues.
Especially when it comes to their emotional states. But thatās just me.
But this begs the question: How does KS know about Carmine and his trauma?? Who does he have contact with that he knew where to send them, for what purpose??
The Haven has a leak.
No one is safe.
No one is trustworthy at this point.
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