:')

main blog @ huua emma, 26, she/her

[confessionsdiaz]

i am well aware of the absolutely fucked up things eating disorders do to people’s brains, and i am sympathetic, but I still think acknowledging publicly that these celebrities are promoting looking emaciated on death’s door is important. Can you imagine being 13 and seeing this shit? Every celebrity event looks like a thinspo board, it’s awful.

[confessionsdiaz]

People talk about women's bodies far too much; this is true. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be addressing the elephant in the room of insane weight loss and eds. it isnt fucking normal or healthy

[la0hu]

haha SHUT UP!!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

triple texting because it FINALLY started sinking in for her that she upset me, and i honestly don't think she fucking cares that she hurt me. i think she is either 1) scared that i'm mad at her and wants to ingratiate herself to take the edge off my anger, or 2) the idea of herself being someone capable of seriously hurting someone else is incompatible with her self-image, so she's trying to confirm that i'm not too upset

and what she decided to follow up with is so infuriating to me. like you want to come to me with these random fucking compliments? what is even going on here, are you trying to remind yourself of the few good qualities you actually see in me? and it's so fucking funny to see what she actually decided to say, because the truth of the matter, connie, is that i am NOT good at taking care of myself, that in the recent past i have consistently been hurt and taken advantage of because of my own reluctance to set boundaries, and that in fact, the reason i have been so hurt and so taken advantage of is because i prioritized "taking care of others" above my own fucking wellbeing. so that's a hell of a thing to admire. and it also shows her ass. like you don't fucking know me at all if that's how you see me.

and i'm NOT going to message you back more quickly because you happened to compliment me! i'm still so fucked up and hurt, i don't even know what i could say to her! i actually would rather i never speak to her again, because it would be too fucking painful to hear whatever the fuck she would say to me.

[la0hu]

apparently all i needed to do to feel better was talk to someone and scream my fucking head off in a public park while they affirmed me. thank you to my housemate and friend ira

[la0hu]

real question is should i 1) get a beer, 2) go out and buy my preferred brand of beers from the liquor store, 3) take a half an edible for my normal dose, 4) take a whole edible to launch myself into oblivion, 5) smoke a joint to add some lung cancer self-destructiveness flair to my weed consumption, 6) drink a beer AND take an edible, 7) take a shot of baijiu to jump start my alcoholic phase? probably not that last one.

i could walk to the whole foods and just buy ice cream and a six-pack of tsingtao, but that would mean walking past the dining room windows, and everyone would see me walking. and i'm tired of being observed. i'm tired of watched. and i could sneak down to the entryway, very quietly grab a pair of shoes, walk all the way up the stairs, through the plex and bar, down the back stairs and out the back door, then sneak down the driveway, loop around the block by the park, and then go to whole foods, all in order to avoid walking past the front of my house. but that feels pretty bad. and i'm tired.

[chronocrump]

never posted this here

[la0hu]

actually what the fuck is this supposed to mean. what does "leave the situation as equals" even mean. oh, she planned to move out by 5/14? she actually moved out on the fucking 21st. i'm sure brenda also PLANNED to help out around the house for an entire year instead of doing next to nothing, like i'm sure she planned to pay rent on time every time instead of being late by three weeks every single time. i'm sure in her head, brenda has many plans to be a decent, diligent, dependable person who takes responsibility for her actions. but we don't live in her head. we live in reality. she doesn't follow through on any of her promises, ever. why should we act as though she ever did?

WHAT does connie mean by equals? what the fuck does that even mean? when was there ever a communication that implied this isn't "between equals"????? the reason i'm fucking mad is because i'm treating brenda as an equal. i am expecting from her what i would expect from literally anyone else in the world, and that's why i'm pissed! are you fucking kidding me

and i'm SICK of the privilege bullshit! we aren't a fucking charity here! we aren't a mutual aid fund! i am so sorry that you went to MIT and have this weird fucking brand of white guilt reserved for chinese americans, but i don't have that! i don't care about brenda's laundry list of oppression against her! the moment she manipulated the whole house and fucking did mind-terrorism on me for months, that was the moment she gave up ANY possibility of sympathy i might've had for her. she mind fucked me. she gaslit and manipulated me. i was honest and open and trying so hard to work for her for so long, and she repaid that kindness by raping my fucking head. SHE CAN PAY THE FUCKING RENT

[zmpl]

gen z new yorker: hey i’m gooning here!

millennial new yorker: hey i’m fapping here!

brony new yorker: hey i’m clopping here!

Text post by @zmpl ©️2026. All rights reserved.

[dogpuppy]

[limbel]

NEVER HEAL indulge in self sabotage romaniticize self isolation ALWAYS QUIT reject your potential never break the cycle let the curse win

[5555ilenthill]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Hm. Interesting. Apparently cortisol production depletes magnesium stores. And I have a lot of symptomatic overlap with magnesium deficiency. And it can apparently help migraine. And ADHD. I think I'm going to try supplementing magnesium glycinate. L-threonate sounds really interesting too as that's magnesium that can cross the blood-brain barrier and apparently is super useful for memory and shit.

[goflowolfog]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

this can't keep happening

[sugarcoatednightshade]

[la0hu]

also connie is so fucking stupid. i'm just gonna say it. she is so fucking stupid for still falling for brenda's shit. i don't care about putting it nicely anymore. she's being a fucking idiot

[la0hu]

I HATE BRENDA WITH ALL MY SOUL

[la0hu]

speaking from experience this is not true. you learn to trust ppl by asking them for help and respect and seeing if they follow thru

[la0hu]

holy shit it was so cathartic to tell my therapist about this guy. ohhhh my god. i started describing the pattern of thing he does (where he's too shy or socially anxious to approach ppl so instead he starts doing performative actions like playing music or dancing or singing in the kitchen to invite comments and hopefully compliments from ppl) and my therapist was like "please stop. i'm so sorry but i can't handle detailed descriptions of the really cringey stuff" and i was like OMG I'M NOT CRAZY! i'm not crazy for finding him unbearable and cringey! and she actually knew what i was referencing when i brought up orson welles and woody allen, and she dubbed it "charlie chaplin disease" and i was like YES THAT! HE HAS THAT!!!!

[la0hu]

update no one asked for: the houseguest is still extremely annoying, and it makes me avoid the kitchen since he's ALWAYS THERE SOMEHOW, so i've been spending stupid amounts of money eating outside. so that's fucking awesome

[jeansbookshelf-deactivated20250]

I got 60 out of 1000 😂

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

Based on the number of ratings each book has on Goodreads. And if you haven't read them, maybe you can use for a literature bucket list.

[tinyasafirefly]

Anyone who says they’ve read all 1000 is a liar because one of them is a huge cookbook and no one is actively joy reading that.

[mbrainspaz]

with some of these it’s like “fuck, I did read that,” and with some it’s like “Oh fuck, I did read that.”

I got 99, but I counted a few that I had only mostly-read before deciding I didn’t like them and never finishing them.