All of the reasons my life is great right now
I'm not gonna lie. 2013 has been a pretty rough year so far. I've experienced a sort of despair that permeates every minute of every day, a kind I didn't even know I was capable of feeling.
But I'm coming through the other side. The loose ends are tying up. After four months of everyone around me trying to remind me that all isn't lost, I'm actually starting to believe it. Not only that, but I'm starting to believe that I'll be able to replace what was lost, as well.
So naturally, I feel like I need to write down all of the good things, if only so I have a master list I can refer back to when I start to feel a little sketchy.
Herewith, in no particular order, everything I have to be excited about:
1. It's baseball season. Enough said, really. They say happiness is having something to look forward to, and I know that nearly every day, no matter what else is going on with my life, I can count on the Giants to take my mind off of things for a few hours.
It also means live games. Since I left San Francisco, I've been to three very aggressive Nats games, plus a lackluster Cubs game and a lame-as-hell Yankee game. On Monday I'm heading back to AT&T and I CAN'T WAIT.
2. I love my job. I really do. When I took a position at a niche publication that is only tangentially related to what I really wanted to do with my life, I was nervous about being pigeon-holed. Then I remembered that I felt that way about Macworld, and look how well that turned out. Experts will say that you need to pick a specialty and stick with it, but I'm still young, and I think there's still something to be said for being well-rounded.
And despite that, I love it. I look forward to coming to work every day. I definitely feel an immense, all-consuming anxiety when I don't have a story to work on some weeks, but I feel like I'm starting to hit my stride.
I've developed a bit of a canon, even: http://search.armytimes.com/sp?skin=&aff=1100&keywords=%22meghann+myers%22
3. I'm really doing it on my own. All I've ever wanted to be in life was self-sufficient. I wanted to make my own money, call my own shots, and do it without having to answer to anyone.
I've got a job, a retirement plan, my car is now my sole responsibility. I've finally transitioned from student and post-grad to young professional. And the best part is, I've learned that I'm more than willing to build my life with someone else when it's appropriate, because I can do it on my own as well.
4. I'm moving. I moved into the house where I currently live mostly out of desperation. It's expensive, the neighborhood is a little sketchy, but it served its purpose. Now it's my mission in life to move somewhere that I really want to be.
5. There are jobs, and I am qualified for them. I had this revelation when I was visiting New York last weekend that I'm kinda over moving to New York. The more I visit, the more I realize that it's a place I like to visit, but I don't know if I'm up for living there.
Then BuzzFeed is looking for a breaking news reporter. Dream job. I'm going to apply, just to see what happens. But I will admit, I immediately hopped on Craigslist to see what the housing situation is looking like, and honestly, it's not looking that bad.
But there are also opportunities in DC. Maybe I'll even test out LA or by some miracle find something at home in San Francisco. It's all doable.
6. I'm living comfortably. I'm making more money than I ever imagined I would at my first big girl job. Somehow I've got enough for high DC rent, my student loans, my 401K, my IRA, savings and plenty of travel and nice things. I'm savoring it.
7. I've lost 15 pounds. I know that's vain, and I know I shouldn't be placing the way I look on my list of accomplishments, and I know that anxiety was a really bad way to lose weight, but here we are!
My skinniest jeans fit like a dream and I feel more comfortable both clothed and naked than I can ever remember feeling. So that is something I will take pride in.
8. I have really great friends. Admittedly, all but a few are hundreds to thousands of miles away, but through the miracles of Gchat and text messaging, I have a whole line-up of people whom I can turn to whenever I need to laugh (or cry).
Seriously, though. I turned into a Carrie Bradshaw-Mr. Big disaster for a minute there and they never judged me. Very few people are that lucky.
9. I love living in DC. Literally, I can do anything I want here. Bars, brunch, culture. I can rent a beach house or a mountain cabin, I can fly down to Miami or take the bus up to New York. The options are endless. I can't understand why anyone would ever want to limit their options.
10. It's nearly summer. I'm ready to be outside. I'm ready to float down a river. I'm ready to run into the ocean. I'm ready to lie by the pool. I'm ready for barbecues. I'm ready to sit outside for extended periods of time.
Yes, I hate the humidity. But I am ready.
11. Sara and I are planning a trip to Mexico. I had some grand designs on a romantic all-inclusive beach getaway. That's not going to pan out, so I'm going with an equally good thing. We're going to lie on the beach, sip cocktails and devour mountains of fresh fruit. Yes, please.
12. I am so young. I mean, really. I am totally free. I can go anywhere I want and do anything I want. I'm unencumbered by physical restrictions and haphazard commitments or a rigid framework I've set out for my life.
I used to be all about having a plan. Now I'm totally over it. I followed my heart and it wasn't happily ever after but it was great and I'm gonna do it again.
There are a few milestones I want to hit, but the whens and wheres and hows are up in the air.
Circumstances will evolve. I'll seize the opportunities as they come. I'll take a chance if it feels right. My instincts are batting about 1.000 right now.
it's good to let something turn you inside-out every once in a while. I've questioned everything I've ever felt, believed or wanted for myself, and I learned things about myself I probably wouldn't have known otherwise.