"average person has 1 billion names" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person has 2-10 names. Dagbert Endless, whose names are as endless as the ocean and who drowns people, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
will byers stan first human second
KIROKAZE
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@lady-adeliza
"average person has 1 billion names" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person has 2-10 names. Dagbert Endless, whose names are as endless as the ocean and who drowns people, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Happy pride month from Olivia (2.0)
IT IS BILLY RAVENS BIRTHDAY!!!!!! HEHE (the only character in this series with a canon birthday)
Second most likely to turn one of their children into a dog
Dr. Reed
Ezekiel Bloor
Harken Badlock
Harold Bloor
Jessamine Sage
Mostyn Tolly
Natalia Dobinski
the de Greys
Titania Tilpin
Venetia Yewbeam
Yorath Yewbeam
cotrq how could you forget...
I am a truther for a lot of things, but my biggest truth is that Dagbert is agender. Why? If Lord Grimwald had no first son, then Lysander could kill him all day every day no problem. He/They Dagbert who doesn't identify as a man or son or boy but actually just doesn't care
Starting a how-Lysander-was-able-to-kill-Grimwald theory list:
He was able to kill Lord Grimwald because curse had a time limit and expired. The Grimwalds aren’t aware of this, so they keep killing each other because they don’t know that they don’t have to. (See “The Annals of the North” on Ao3)
He was able to kill Lord Grimwald because the curse is conditional. The father and son are capable of dying in other ways, but if they aren’t dead yet, it will come to pass.
He was able to kill Lord Grimwald because he’s so powerful, the laws of nature couldn’t stop him.
He wasn’t. Lord Grimwald was trapped in the Sea Globe. (See “The Curse of the Endless” on Ao3)
Oh, I loved Annals of the North! Haven't read Curse of the Endless yet.
Here's some (100% joke) theories:
Lysander is secretly a Grimwald
Dagbert and Lysander get married later on and future son-in-laws are valid for the curse
The original curse had "or Lysander" as part of it but it was dropped bc nobody knew what it meant
It was all one of Olivia's illusions and it was actually Dagbert "disguised" as Lysander to trick Grimwald. They forgot to tell Charlie and that's why it wasn't mentioned
Grimwald faked his death and escaped, but slipped on a banana peel Dagbert threw on the ground earlier and died
Grimwald faked his death and escaped, but then Dagbert showed up via Time Twister and stabbed him off screen
Whoever cursed the bloodline didn't really curse it, they just said they did and everyone believed them
The curse was invented by a Grimwald who wanted an excuse to murder his bratty firstborn son, it was never real
The curse was mistranslated at some point
Lord Grimwald would later be revived by a necromancer so the first death doesn't count
Lord Grimwald was actually the product of his mother's affair and was never a Grimwald by blood and the curse never applied to him or Dagbert
Mermaid years are longer than human years so Dagbert was younger than Lord Grimwald thought, relatively speaking, if you stop believing in "years" or "time"
Joke theories aside, I do like speculating serious reasons why Lysander could kill Lord Grimwald. The top two are my favorites, especially number two. If they couldn't die until killed, that'd pretty much make them immortal until the son is 13. Which isn't impossible, but strange that neither of them didn't boast about it or act more recklessly if it were true.
Those are fabulous. I’ll add an old and terrible meta-theory and expand on it to apply it to Grimwald:
The whole series was a dream Billy Raven had or took place in his imagination as a way of coping with his terrible circumstances. Lord Grimwald symbolized Harold Bloor. He was never a real person, or, if he was, he only visited Bloor’s once.
Grindelwald's oldest son was actually dead already and pretended to be one of Lysander's spirits to kill him
The curse was actually affecting a DIFFERENT Lord Grimwald at the time. variety of possible reasons including proximity to the moon and because it would be funny
The curse is tied to the Sea Globe. Lysander's ancestors destroyed the Sea Globe (by shoving Grimwald in or removing a spell or something), which ended the curse
The curse is actually on the Lords of the Oceans and the title is determined by ownership of the Sea Globe. Lysander's ancestors destroyed the Sea Globe and the curse stopped applying to the Grimwalds
Fagbert Endless or something like that
No one can stop me with that design idea, hear me out, HEAR ME OUT ALL 5 CHARLIE BONE FANS ON TUMBLR
me: been a minute since I've posted on tumblr, maybe I'll post a draft
my drafts:
Happy Easter with my homeboy Charlie Bone 🦴
@dagbert-endless its literally your guy
every day i think about dorcus loom
and maybe it's becuase i was also a fat kid with frizzy hair who was always sort of generally liked but no one's bestest best friend when i was first reading the books but good god i think about dorcus loom a lot
because, sure, yeah, she's one of the 'evil' endowed children... by why wouldn't she be? think about it!
you're dorcus, you are described by the narrative as perpetually smiling and cheerful and unoffensive and fat. you don't really have any close friends, because none of the boys talk to you, and zelda is mean, and maybe you think, a little bit, that you and emilia moon are friends because you are both in art and you are both quiet but you don't actually hang out.
you're endowment is scary, if you even know what it is, so you don't tell anyone about it. poisioning clothing is mean and bad and no one will be your friend if they know so you don't tell them about it. you live in a house with over protective brothers who love you but aren't your friends and big dogs you're scared of. and maybe those big dogs are why you don't like animals. who knows? they're your brothers dogs and there isn't much you can do about it.
then, charlie bone shows up, and emilia becomes this cool, bright, beautiful thing named emma who certainly isn't your friend now. she barely was before. and there becomes this big divide between the children of the red king: the mean ones and the good ones.
no one seems to care where you go. the good ones don't try to get you on their side, even when they wish the scales were balanced more to their ends. no one talks to you, even when they're allowed to.
and then... belle. belle, who is pretty and blonde and maybe she promises to teach you how to take care of your hair and maybe she tells you that she knows what your endowment is. that it's not something scary and awful, it's beautiful. it's useful. and maybe you're tired of being a pleasent thing that no one bothers to get to know.
she takes you to a person whose just like you, who can help, who we've been taught by the narrative is a lovely, beautiful manipulator and who is telling you that she likes you.
sure, listening to venetia and belle gets people hurt, but those people don't like you much anyway.
and then, even after belle leaves, you have friends! the twins! and joshua tilpin who makes you feel so good about yourself. this magnetic boy who makes you feel so, so, so happy all the time. friends!!!
venetia still teaches you, and the adults think you're capable, and you have friends and that's all you ever wanted.
and also you're ten.
you are ten years old at the start of this.
no shit she's evil!!! no one fucking tried to stop it!! they didn't talk to her ever and then wrote her off so insanely fast!!! ohhhh my god!!!! also she's a lesbian btw!!! i've decided as perhaps the only person alive who cares about dorcas loom!!! this fat gay ten year old didn't stand a chance!!!
Red King Universe Incorrect Quotes:
Lady Adeliza: "You have chlorophyll, don't you? I like that in a man."
CotRK went on for so long because Charlie is too scared to confront people, and Lysander, who’s the only one that gets shit done, is ALSO the only one who minds his damn business. So he stays uninvolved and lives his best life blissfully while everyone else struggles against the evils plaguing the city.
LYSANDER!! LYSANDER HELP US!!! OH FUCK HE CANT HEAR THE PLOT HE HAS HIS HEADPHONES IN
Yeah found family is cool but have you considered Lost Family. your brother who time travelled away while your sister died, your father who left you in the divorce but took your sister, your parents and lovers who were killed when you and your sister refused a villain, your older sisters who don't consider you anything more than a tool so maybe there's nothing else you'll ever be, your niece her father traded away because he couldn't bear to raise her without your dead sister, your father who was presumed dead and came back alive yet never came back for you, your mother and her seven other children who will never care for you like your late father did, the parents you thought you had but who raised you for money, your siblings who fled your father's castle to live as far away from you as possible, your aunt who gave you away as soon as someone else wanted you, your son whom you abandoned because you feared the power he had over you, your mother who haunts your house like a ghost because no one there returned her love, your half-sister who prefers her maternal relatives to her father's family, your father who is bound to kill or be killed by you, your daughters who never wanted the love you gave them because you couldn't give them power, your brother who stood by when you were engaged to someone you never knew. your dead parents your dead siblings your dead wife your dead children who all killed each other the moment you turned away to grieve.
Emlyn's Moon was published in 1987, long before Midnight for Charlie Bone. Could Emilia Moon be a reference to it?
One thing this fandom does magnificently is the ship names. After being in another where there are several ship names starting with Piano because one of the characters is named Piano Man, I can better appreciate calling a ship PianoGroceries when the Piano comes from a guy named Lyell
... the Billy Joel song???
The Piano Man I was thinking of is in BSD. If he's named after the Billy Joel song, the author hasn't told us about it
Most of the characters are named after a great writer with a personality and power inspired by their works, and he's one of the few who's referred to by a nickname, so who he's based on is unknown but theorized about. It would be quite entertaining if his friends are based on famous novelists, playwrights, poets, etc. and he's secretly Billy Joel
One thing this fandom does magnificently is the ship names. After being in another where there are several ship names starting with Piano because one of the characters is named Piano Man, I can better appreciate calling a ship PianoGroceries when the Piano comes from a guy named Lyell
I just had a terrible thought
Maisie is Billy's adoptive grandma. What would happen if he found out she wanted to leave him in Badlock?
And how would she feel if she never told him?
Imagine, after years of wanting a family and feeling unwanted, finding out that a member of your new family—who was already outwardly friendly to you—once saw you as a necessary sacrifice for her grandson's safety. Would you feel betrayed? How would it impact your view of what family should or shouldn't be, and whether you were fully a part of your adoptive family or whether parts of it might throw you under the bus in favor of blood relatives if push came to shove?
Imagine, after dismissing another child's safety as a necessary sacrifice for your grandson's—even though the danger that child was in by potentially remaining forever in an evil enchanter's world was much greater than the risks of your grandson using his powers as intended to visit that world briefly and not for the first time—that first child becoming your grandson as well, becoming one of the few people you would let the city fall apart for—and recognizing, or not recognizing, or defending, the gray morals there
Would you feel guilty? Would you feel differently about the next little lost lamb Charlie risks himself for? Or would you see the priority you place on your family as justified, because, after all, you are only in charge of yourself and your own safety? Would you ever consider telling Billy, and under what circumstances? Would you see Badlock when you look at him?