Things I adore: Miss Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries, Harry Potter, The 100, the Mindy Project,the OC, Happy Endings, theVlog Brothers, Hunger Games, ALL OF Julie Garwood's Books!! HarryXHermione;Peeta/Katniss (Hunger Games);Bellarke ;Rory and Jess (Gilmore Girls);Jeff and Annie (Community);Ryan/Marissa(OC);Seth/Summer (OC);Dave/Penny(Happy Endings) Here to escape the stress of existence and ship my baby ships! 💜 Other interests include Joel McHale and soaking up the awesomeness of Maggie Smith and old British actors who DGAF
"SKAM var egentlig aldri en serie som ropte så veldig høyt. Den nærmest hvisket, og på en eller annen måte var det nok. Den traff noen veldig ømme punkter med sin milde styrke og nærhet til det virkelige livet. Serien åpnet også viktige dører for samtaler rundt temaer som historisk sett ofte har blitt ignorert eller oversett i populærkulturen. Men det som kanskje var aller mest rørende, var hvordan SKAM aldri undervurderte sitt publikum. Serien stolte på at unge mennesker kunne forstå, føle og reflektere selv. Og i en tid hvor mange ungdommer føler seg presset til å være perfekte, ga SKAM dem rom til å være menneskelige. For mange vil SKAM derfor for alltid være mer enn en serie. Det var en livline. En venn. En følelse av å ikke være alene."
"SKAM was never a show that shouted loudly. It almost whispered – and somehow, that was enough. It touched some very tender spots with its gentle strength and closeness to real life. The series also opened important doors for conversations around topics that have historically been ignored or overlooked in popular culture. But perhaps the most touching aspect was how SKAM never underestimated its audience. It trusted that young people could understand, feel, and reflect on their own. And in a time when many teenagers feel pressured to be perfect, SKAM gave them space to be human. For many, SKAM will forever be more than just a series. It was a lifeline. A friend. A feeling of not being alone."
just found out in medieval france, having a lion on your coat of arms was so prevalent that there was literally a colloquial proverb to clown on knights for being basic and not having a real coat of arms. the hate game was so strong back then. imagine medieval hate anons
Noora and William: The iconic SKAM love story that defined a generation
Noora entered our lives to put everything from red lipstick, blonde bobs and feminism, to the Norwegian penal code on the agenda. She became an instant role model. But her inner compass is thrown off balance when she meets William, and their romance became something like oxygen to the Norwegian people. Romeo and Juliet, for our time.
And even though some of the show’s visual choices were compared more than once to Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation of that same love story, it perhaps wasn’t obvious from the beginning that this would become such a major success.
Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free
As I said earlier, I wanted to post more about ADHD burnout. I found an article that explained it pretty well. This excerpt is going to be long, so I apologize in advance:
ADHD Burnout
What is ADHD Burnout?
It’s possible that you’ve heard of Autistic burnout; however, ADHDers have a unique experience of burnout. Symptoms of ADHD burnout more broadly include:
Lack of motivation
Inability to concentrate
Guilt
Depression
Anxiety
Poor productivity
Irritability
Cynicism
The overlap of symptoms and comorbid conditions can make it difficult to identify when ADHDers are truly struggling with burnout, though.
ADHD burnout is often something a little deeper. It refers to the cycle of overcommitting and overextending that leads to fatigue in people with ADHD. It involves taking on too many tasks and commitments, and then the subsequent exhaustion that happens when we’re unable to fulfill all of our obligations.
Why do people with ADHD struggle with burnout?
1. We’re overcompensating and overcommitting
Growing up, many ADHDers experienced the crushing weight of expectation. Whether it was caregivers or educators, we were often told that we weren’t trying hard enough. It felt like we were always just shy of reaching our full potential.
In actuality, we were being asked to function like neurotypical children, and without adequate support for our ADHD brains and executive dysfunction struggles. This is where many of us internalized the idea that we were lazy, careless, or unintelligent.
These false beliefs can lead to overcompensation, in which we compulsively try to please people and make up for these “shortcomings” we think we have. We’re constantly striving, though the goal posts keep moving on us.
This tendency to people-please can be carried into our adulthood, and is a recipe for overexertion. It also makes it difficult to admit that we’re struggling, because we don’t want to let others down. This relentless effort to appear neurotypical is often referred to as “ADHD masking,” and can be a source of real fatigue for people with ADHD.
2. We feel guilty for resting
When we’re already combating a stereotype of laziness, many of us feel guilty about resting. It can feel easier to be in constant motion (whether we experience hyperactivity or not!) because it feels safer to be doing something than risk the judgment that can come with doing “nothing.”
We might even believe that if we were to allow ourselves to rest, we would never get anything done, because we would struggle to get started again (task initiation is a big struggle for us). The irony is that denying yourself rest is the quickest route to exhaustion, and can exacerbate ADHD symptoms. It can be hard to pump the brakes and practice rest when there are so many negative associations with it.
After a lifetime of being told to “try harder,” it can feel counterintuitive—sometimes impossible—to try less and rest more
3. We struggle to recognize our limits and set boundaries
Part of executive dysfunction means that we have trouble sequencing, initiating, and organizing our tasks — which are all symptoms of ADHD. This also means we struggle to estimate how much time and effort something will take, making it easy to overcommit by accident. We may also struggle with setting boundaries.
As people-pleasers, we were discouraged from having boundaries at a young age. We may struggle to say “no” for fear of disappointing others or being rejected (something we’re already sensitive to anyway; this is known as rejection sensitive dysphoria).
As we accumulate more and more tasks, it can begin to feel unmanageable, leading to the dreaded overwhelm-shutdown. This is a freeze response that can happen when we’re unable to begin or complete a task. This “stuck” feeling can exacerbate our anxiety and make it difficult to move forward.
How to avoid ADHD burnout:
There are some golden rules for preventing burnout that I think are crucial for ADHDers to remember. Here are a few:
1. Affirm your self-worth
Your worth is not dependent upon what you give to people, and your sole purpose in life isn’t to make everyone but yourself happy. As the saying goes, “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” You are inherently valuable, regardless of how useful, productive, or helpful you are to others.
2. Practice saying “no” without apologizing
You can’t be everything to everyone, and your capacity is not limitless, no matter what your brain tells you. Give yourself full permission to say “no, I can’t,” “I don’t have time for that,” “I’m not available at that time,” and every other variation on that. You may disappoint someone, sure!
But you aren’t responsible for managing other people’s emotions.
3. Overestimate how much time something will take
This is a general rule that I find quite helpful. Take the amount of time you think something will take—and double it. It may feel absurd at first, but it’s better to overestimate than to underestimate, and this will help you get a stronger sense of your limitations.
4. Commit to rest
Notice I’m saying “commit to rest” and not “practice self-care.”
Some of us (certainly not me…) have turned self-care into another set of expectations we feel the need to fulfill. Let that go.
Instead, practice: laying down, daydreaming, deep breathing, and anything else that helps you reset.
5. Ask for help when you need it
It’s okay to struggle, and it’s okay to ask for support when you do struggle—whether that's therapy, your colleagues, an ADHD coach or a manager at work.
Workplace accommodations and school accommodations can also make a huge difference.
6. Drop the mask
Many neurodiverse individuals try to mask their ADHD and/or autism by not letting others see them sweat—but this doesn’t allow us the opportunity to be helped and supported when we need it most.
You deserve every resource you need to thrive—don’t convince yourself that you have to do this thing alone.
As always, the full article will be below if anyone wants to read it.
Let’s talk about why this so-called ‘high-functioning’ ADHD leads to burnout.
I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:
It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.
Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.
1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.
2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?
3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?
4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”
5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.
6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)
I have been in EMDR therapy recently to help with past trauma and like 90% of the appointments is just this post. Which I thought was silly at first bcs I was like "well I know how I'm feeling, I feel bad" but man you have no idea. Literally JUST talking through whatever stressful thing I have going on at the moment and whenever I feel a Big Emotion stopping and acknowledging, naming, and sitting with it. I've made more progress with my trauma and mental illnesses just doing this in a single year than I have in like 10+ years of therapy.
It might feel silly or pointless at first but stick with it, it really helps.
You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).
Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.
His point is basically that he’s going to go where he’s wanted. Guys like Brett realize, as he’s leaving that he’s actually beneficial to the society he’s leaving. If he wasn’t, Bret would be celebrating. This brain drain they’re fretting about is entirely of their own bigoted doing. If they’d thought about retaining great contributors to society instead of culture wars, there’d be no issue.
