It was around lunchtime when I finished in the garden and came inside for the last couple of slices of pizza. My shirt still smelled faintly of mulch, and I could feel dried dirt under my fingernails no matter how many times I'd washed my hands. Josh wandered into the kitchen at the same time, heading for the fridge.
"Go ahead," I said, motioning toward the box.
He gave me a grateful nod and grabbed a slice. It felt strange seeing him without Desi. They'd become one of those couples that old people described as "joined at the hip."
"Chestnut Ridge," he said after swallowing.
He shrugged. "Girl time, I guess."
Fair enough. I suppose sharing news of her elopement would be a no boys allowed affair.
We leaned against opposite sides of the island, eating in comfortable silence. The refrigerator hummed behind us while the dishwasher finished the morning's load. Josh usually ate slow, but today he looked like he was chewing because he knew he was supposed to.
He stared at his pizza for a second. "My parents are still upset."
I nodded slowly. "I figured."
I knew exactly how they felt. Somewhere deep down, in a place I wasn't proud of, a small part of me still understood it. But looking at Josh standing there with slumped shoulders and cold pizza in his hand, I mostly just felt bad for him.
"You wanna take a walk and talk about it?"
I rinsed our plates, and we headed outside. The afternoon had warmed up enough that the neighborhood was finally coming alive. Someone a few houses over pulled weeds from their garden. A dog barked once before deciding it wasn't worth the effort. We walked past Chi Chi's house toward the park behind Josh and Desi's new place without saying much. I didn't rush the silence. Sometimes people needed a minute before they knew what they wanted to say. By the time we reached the lake, Josh finally spoke.
"I don't know how to fix it."
"I keep thinking if I could just say the right thing..."
He let the sentence die on its own.
"I don't think there is a right thing," I said.
We sat on the bench beneath the cherry blossom tree. A breeze skimmed across the lake, turning the water into little ripples that caught the afternoon sun. Pink petals had collected along the edge of the path from last night's wind.
After a minute, I said, "Everybody's gonna have opinions about your marriage."
"Parents. Friends. People who think they know what's best." I smiled. "The only two opinions that really matter are yours."
He watched the fountain spray across the lake. "I never thought about it like that."
"You ever had one of these talks with your dad?"
He shook his head. Another quiet moment settled between us.
Finally, he asked, "Were you ready?"
I took a second before answering. "I was ready to marry Sophia."
He frowned, sensing there was more.
"I just wasn't always ready to be her husband."
"I never questioned whether she was the right person." I rubbed my hands on my pants, brushing away dirt that had somehow survived gardening, lunch, and a walk around the neighborhood. "I questioned whether I was."
"I had a lot of things I needed to work through before I asked someone else to tie their life to mine. My demons weren't hers to carry."
The words came out more matter-of-fact than emotional, so I clarified. "I wanted to make sure I'd dealt with as many of them as I could before I stood at an altar promising to love her for the rest of my life."
Josh looked down at his wedding band. "So…you waited."
I got the feeling I'd just confirmed a fear he'd been carrying. I couldn't change my answer, but I wished I had something that would reassure him.
"So…did you ever get to a point where you felt like you'd dealt with all of it?"
I laughed unintentionally. "I promise I'm not laughing at you. It's just that I've learned we're never really free of it. You just get to a place where you handle it better than you did at the last crisis."
He nodded slowly. "I guess ... I just don't wanna mess it up."
"I'm not saying that because I don't believe in you or because you're careless. That's just life. Perfection is just a dream."
He studied me. "I didn't expect you to say that."
"That you're still figuring it out."
I shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"
He smiled to himself. "Desi always said you weren't like other dads."
I raised an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"What makes me different?"
He thought about it. "I don't know...she always said you listened. Like you actually wanted to know what she thought."
I watched a few ducks shimmy across the lake.
"She talks about you a lot," he said.
I couldn't help smiling. "Hopefully mostly good things."
"They're all good things."
That one sat with me for a second.
I pointed at him. "You're gonna mess up. Desi's definitely gonna mess up."
He laughed. "I shouldn't laugh."
"You should. She's my daughter. I know her."
"She really does move at full speed."
"Exactly." I smiled. "She's fearless. She jumps first and figures it out later. Most of the time, that'll be one of the things you love about her."
"And the rest of the time?"
"The rest of the time..." I shrugged. "...you'll both have to remember you're on the same team."
"What are really worried about?" I asked.
That caught him completely off guard. "I..." He looked down at his hands. "I don't know."
Finally, he admitted, "I just don't want to let her down."
"Happiness is great," I said. "But don't make it your life's mission to keep her happy every second."
"Make it your mission to love her—especially on the days when neither of you is happy."
"The real test isn't whether every day feels easy. It's what you do on the hard days."
I looked down at my knuckles and rubbed them. "The wrong things. Way too often."
"I'm still learning, Josh. I've made mistakes Sophia didn't deserve. She's shown me more grace than I ever could have imagined."
I looked back at him. "Getting married doesn't mean you suddenly know how to be married.. You and Desi are still young. You're both still growing as Sims and growing together."
Finally, a flicker of something lit up his eyes. I'd found a way to affirm him.
"So...it's okay if we're still figuring things out?"
I smiled. "I'd be worried if you thought you had arrived."
After a minute, I said, "I have another question."
He answered so quickly I wasn't sure he'd even thought about it.
"Because life makes sense when she's around."
A breeze pushed a handful of cherry blossom petals across the path in front of us. I just looked at him.
He scratched the back of his neck. "I know that probably sounds stupid."
"No. It doesn't. It really doesn't." I leaned back against the bench. "When you have a daughter, you spend so much time hoping she finds somebody who loves her for exactly who she is."
I smiled at him. "Looks like she did."
Neither of us spoke for a while.
Finally Josh stood. "Thanks, Mr. Murillo."
I stood too. "You know, you don't have to call me that anymore."
He looked surprised. "I don't?"
He shifted awkwardly. "I don't know if I can call you Luca."
"It just feels...disrespectful."
I smiled. "Well, according to my daughter, I'm not like other dads."
He hesitated for another second. "...Thanks, Luca."
"I'll probably mess it up."
"I'd honestly be surprised if you didn't."
We turned toward the house.
"I should probably warn you," I said.
"You're officially part of this family now. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into."
He laughed. "I married Desi."
We walked the rest of the way home with a lot less silence than we'd left with.
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