Furthermore when my granddad died it rlly changed my outlook on living and really reminded me the importance actively trying to be a decked person and show up for my family and friends. growing up I always thought his life was so magical bc of how highly my father and others on my dads side spoke of him at the time and the fact he was able to have such an successful life both in naij and London.
Only to find out that he was a very unlikeable man, despite him providing financially for family he only really lived his life for himself is the most selfish of ways and was just sooo money hungry. Even in the depths of his illness he had the energy to tell me how my dad was āwasted potentialā and I should try my best to not follow in his footsteps and in that moment I was really trying to hold back tears because even though I have my own issues with my dad heās the only one of the older kids in the family that consistently called and visited him and still heās was not appreciated.
The day of his funeral it was his wife and three kids who are all under 18, myself ,my eldest brother,my dad, uncle, one cousin and the funeral planners in attendance even though half my family lives in London including my granddads younger brother. Very few things were said about his character and more about his success.
In comparison his ex wife died nine months prior and my extended family in London all went to lay her to rest along with her family and her community she built throughout her life .afterwards went to a pup to watch a documentary someone had made about her our and share our favourite memories of her everyone had nothing but wonderful things to say. Iād say she also lived her life for herself and was selfish in terms of not letting motherhood define her life but she always always always considered and advocated for her family and friends alike and was able to provide so much more for them in friendship,love and loyalty instead of money.
I often get caught up thinking and worrying about the fact that Iām gonna have to live up the expectations of one day having to be some successful or wealthy women bc of the opportunityās that are afforded to me. But honestly all the money in this world is not worth it if I have a funeral 80 years old with NO FRIENDS AND ONLY EIGHT members of my enormous family in attendance :(
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