(inspired by the song โlove songs on the radioโ by mojave 3. one of my favorite bands๐ซฐ)
maggie greene x fem!reader
apocalypse au (set around season 3. prison era)
warnings: talk of wanting to give up/being mentally exhausted. reader is having doubts about everything, how life will turn out and what will happen/if maggie loves them and means what she says (hence the lyrics), but maggie comforts them แข๐ญฉ)
A/N: this is my longest one-shot yet! I know it may not seem very long but I have a hard time writing more than a couple hundred words in one sitting (I get SEVERALLY distracted. I have the worst attention span omg.) but I hope you enjoy this! Iโm going to try to start writing longer fics and maybe even start an ongoing one because I really wanna publish an actual story (I just need to actually stick to it, yk? ๐คง) but again I really hope you enjoy and warning: this is only semi proofread but Iโll most likely proofread it again later but as Iโm finishing this up itโs quite late and I need sleep๐คง๐ซฐ
โlove songs on the radio. your sweetheart lies in bed. sheโs dreaming of the things (s)he said. and hoping that itโs meant.โ
Light. Bright, blinding sunlight seeps in through the cellโs barred window as you open your eyes. You let out in involuntary groan before turning over to shield your eyes from the throbbing luster. As you turn on your side, youโre met with a sleeping Maggie. Her eyes are closed, breathing deep and steady, the only sound other than her breathing are the occasional little snores she lets out. And she looks oh so peaceful. You smile and very carefully push back some of the dark hair that fell to her face and over her eyes. Your smile softens and your eyes glance down. Being with Maggie was everything. Itโs all youโve ever wanted. But you canโt help but think itโs too good to be true, that itโs ephemeral. It feels impossible, especially now. You love her more than anything, but what if you love her so much you lose her? With a sigh, you close your eyes and take a deep breath before nuzzling your head into Maggieโs shoulder, feeling immediate comfort at her warm skin and familiar scent. This earns a soft moan from Maggie, her arms immediately wrapping around you as she slowly awakes. โY/nโฆโ she mumbles out. โRight here, baby.โ You whisper.
โgโmornin,โ she yawns and rubs her eyes but immediately shuts them as the light shines down on her emerald eyes. โGah-โ she groans and presses your face back into her neck before resting her head on yours, burying her face in your hair. โItโs bright.โ She states groggily. โExtremely.โ You agree.โHow long you been up?โ She asks softly after a moment. โNot long. Maybe ten minutes or so.โ You say and pull back a little, she instinctively moves her head so you can move and you two lock eyes. โYou still havinโ those thoughts?โ She whispers, seeing that look in your eyes. The look that shows all of your silent pain, the look that shows the millions of questions racing through your head, the look that shows all the words you want to say but never will. โIโm fine,โ you reply. โI didnโt ask if you were fine- I asked if you were still having thoughts.โ She retorts calmly. โ.. really, mags. Iโm good now.โ She just stares at you, her eyes saying โyeah right,โ but she doesnโt press the matter, knowing it wonโt do any good in the moment. โAlright, but come to me if they start up again, okay? Even the smallest and silliest of thoughts, I wanna hear about โem.โ You tear away from her eyes for a moment before nodding, looking back up and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. โOkay.โ You whisper before getting up.
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Dirt stains the denim of your jeans as you kneel in the grass, your hands dig and dig at the dirt, creating a small hole as the muck and grime gets under your nails. Suddenly, you feel a hand on your back and you gasp, turning around. โSorry, didnโt mean to scare ya.โ Maggie says softly, a worried look in her eyes. โWatcha doinโ?โ She smiles softly and gestured to the small hole youโve dug, no more than a few inches deep. โJust.. creating a trap. In case the walkers get in, yknow?โ You lie hopelessly, and she immediately sees it. โNo youโre not.โ She presses gently. โIโve been watching you from the guard tower for over twenty minutes, you were crying. Youโre digging because it distracts you from whateverโs goinโ on in that pretty little head of yours.โ She bends down and cups your face with her hands. โAngel, please talk to me. Please get up from the ground and have a proper conversation with me. With eye contact.โ She smiles softly, knowing how you get when you feel like this- like a burden, an inconvenience. If only you knew how far you are from that. You nod, knowing thereโs no point in arguing or trying to run away. Where would you go, anyway? And the last thing you want to do is add to her stress. โAlright.โ You whisper and stant up. โCan I shower first?โ You ask, patting and swatting at your arms and legs, the mix of sweat and soot being deeply unpleasant. Maggie nods and pats your cheek gently before walking you back to the inside of the prison. You find your way to your cell block and to the showers, undressing and turning on the faucet. The semi-warm water streams down and you step in, it coats you completely, washing away the sludge. If only it could wash your pain away with it.
You stare at your watch, the one Maggieโs father, Hershel, gave you back at the farm, and take a deep breath as you step out of the bathroom, making your way to yours and Maggieโs shared cell. When you get there, Maggie is already waiting, sat on the bed. She has a hairbrush in her hand. She loves to brush your hair, to style it, play with it, and hopefully her doing your hair as you talk will make you more comfortable, help you open up. โHi..โ you whisper. โHey,โ she whispers back and pats the space of bed beside her. You sit down and take off your towel, unraveling your now darkened, shiny hair. โSo, you gonna tell me whatโs going on?โ She asks as her hands gently section your hair, letting the silky strands rub across her fingers. โ..just thoughts.โ You shrug. โWhat kinds of thoughts? Scared? Sad? You know somethinโ I donโt?โ You sigh and begin to feel yourself freeze up again, the tears beginning to sting your eyes. You couldnโt talk about it without breaking down. โI donโt know.โ She pauses her movements, setting the brush down and sighing. โAngel.โ She says in that sift, firm tone that she uses when setting rules or having a serious conversation. โI donโt know how to talk about it, okay? I donโt want to cry.โ Her gaze softens, you can practically feel those emphatic eyes boring into the back of your head. โThen cry, break down in my arms, scream if you have to. Just dont shut me out. Not now.โ
You feel the tears fall before the words even come out. โI just canโt help but think.. whatโs the point? Whatโs the point of all of this? All the running and hiding and living in fear if weโre all gonna end up the same way, anyway? As one of them?โ Maggie freezes and turns you around. โOh, angel..โ she whispers and pulls you in. Whatโs the point? She had asked herself that question many times, even before all of this. But she knows the answer now. Youโre the point. โAnd what- what if you donโt love me? What if you just think you do because you donโt want to be alone and you need somebody to cling to?โ Her heart drops. How could you possibly think that? She doesnโt love you? Youโre just somebody to cling to? She can practically feel her heart breaking. โYou think I donโt love you? That I donโt spend everyday wondering to myself how on earth I get the privilege of having someone as perfect as you? You think youโre just somebody I cling to so I donโt have to be alone? Well, thatโs the most untrue and impossible thing Iโve ever heard. Do you even realize what you do to me? How much you make me feel? You are.. you are my everything. You are my home in a world where Iโve had to learn to accept that home isnโt a thing anymore. How could I notโฆโ her words trail off as her own tears begin to form.
โ.. Iโm sorry.โ Is all you can manage to say without the pressure in your throat increasing, feeling like your ability to breathe will be taken if you say another word. She shakes her head and rocks you back and forth. โItโs okay. Iโm not mad at you, not in the slightest. I love you, okay? I love you so much and I need you to tell me when youโre thinking these things so I can show you just how truly wrong you are. You are so loved, okay? So, so loved. Every word I have and will ever say to you is the complete and most honest truth.โ All you can manage is a nod before you break down again, your tears creating a wet patch on her shirt but she doesnโt even pay mind to it. All that matters is you. Holding you. Make sure youโre safe. Your sobs eventually die down and all that is heard is the sound your soft breathing. You fell asleep. And for the first time in weeks, thereโs a sense of relief in your heart. The ache is fading, and youโre here. Youโre hers and youโre going to be okay. You will make it, and so will she.
