i spoke up about domestic abuse and my abuser is doing everything in his power to make sure i regret it.
i already have a couple of posts going around, but here is a more coherent explanation as to why i’m asking for money. not naming names lest this post get reported and taken down.
the short of it: my abuser is making my life a hellscape and i need help getting a lawyer. my gofundme is here and my paypal is [email protected].
the long of it: in july of 2015 my relationship with a prominent local musician ended. it took me a minute or two to look at the facts and realize that it had been an abusive one. during the course of our relationship, he isolated me from my friends, put me down for my interests, and seemed to enjoy triggering my anxiety by ignoring my attempts at communication. he often coerced me into having sex with him and frequently disregarded my boundaries during sex (to the point where i once had to go to the hospital). he took intimate photographs of me without my permission and joked about posting them online. he sexually assaulted me on three separate occasions. one of the incidents led to me filing a police report and attempting to file for a restraining order.
on october 3rd i decided to go public by posting my abuser’s name on tumblr. nothing happened and i since deleted the post. on may 10th, after spending some time going through the #maybehedoesnthityou tag, i decided to go as public as i possibly could with a private post on facebook. i really felt that i had a responsibility to my local community to let them know that there was an abuser in their presence. it made me sick to think that my friends and their friends, many of whom are also abuse survivors, were listening to his music without any knowledge of the fact that they were listening to a predator. since then, things have escalated to the point where i have no idea what to do.
my ex’s father, who also happens to be a lawyer, dug up my email address and sent me a cease and desist letter, threatening to sue me on behalf of my abuser’s entire band if i did not delete my posts and stop talking about how his son abused me. i went to file for a restraining order against his son and upon delivering it, he became violent towards my friends and me. he came out of the house screaming profanities, misgendering me, calling me a liar, a bitch, a cunt, a whore, and a victimizing psychopath. he accused me of harassing their family and ruining his son’s life and threw the restraining order on the ground. he started beating on the hood of my friend’s car and tried to open the passenger door, all the while threatening to ruin my life.
this man was so terrifying that i asked my friends to go back and get the restraining order so he wouldn’t have my address or contact information. at that point, his wife blocked us in the cul de sac in their family’s minivan so that we could not leave. he then proceeded to try and have me killed calling the police and telling them that i was going crazy and threatening him with a knife. (and i say killed because i am black and mentally ill. if you don’t know why it’s an issue to call the police on a mentally ill black woman in america, i’m sorry but i won’t be taking the time to explain in this post.) in addition to all of this, my abuser’s brother and fellow bandmate gave me the restraining order that my ex filed against me in which he falsely states that i threatened him with a knife and made thinly veiled threats because i compared him to sam keating from how to get away with murder.
yesterday, a friend alerted me to the fact that my ex’s father/lawyer is now tracking people down on facebook, going to their places of employment, and is asking them to take down my gofundme. i repeat, he is literally going around the bay area harassing people and trying to convince them to not support me. the court denied my request for a temporary restraining order against him and i am afraid for my safety. i have 2 court dates coming up and am in desperate need of a lawyer. additionally, due to this whole situation i have had to miss several days of work and won’t be able to make rent because of it, so i’m posting my paypal in case anyone has anything to spare.
i really appreciate the help i’ve gotten so far and i hate to keep asking for more but i have no choice. these people are privileged and terrifying and are trying their hardest to make sure i regret ever outing my rapist. i refuse to go down without a fight. please help out if you can and thanks so much for reading/reblogging this behemoth post!!! also, any legal advice that anyone has is much appreciated, i’m really looking for any and all the support i can get at this point.
gamechangershow
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theartofmadeline
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ellievsbear
