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Sweet Seals For You, Always
blake kathryn
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Xuebing Du
pixel skylines
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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tannertan36
JVL
Origami Around
ojovivo
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
Misplaced Lens Cap
No title available
will byers stan first human second
Love Begins
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
almost home
seen from Brazil
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@lapetitechanteuse-blog
Saying “So Long” to the brilliant Bob Hoskins today - Who Framed Roger Rabbit has always been one of my favorite movies, I watched it so much as a kid I’d mute the TV and say all of the lines (I bet I still can! I shouldn’t… I will).
So long, Mr Valiant - and thank you <3
Eddie: "You mean you could’ve taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?" Roger: "No, not at any time. Only when it was funny."
x
My Store / My Facebook / Original Art on eBay
This evening, I was getting on the 135 bus to head home from work, when I noticed a woman waiting at the stop. I did a double take because of how thin she was.
It was very clear that she was anorexic, but I had never seen someone as sick as her. Occasionally I’ve seen women her size. In particular, there was a jogger in New York City that I would see, her spine protruding through her back.
However, this woman was worse. She was fully covered in her winter coat and hat, but looked like she was a walking corpse. Her face was sunken in, dark circles from her visible eye sockets. Even underneath her layers you could barely see the frame of her body.
My heart was breaking. I wondered what she would do when she went home. Would she be spending the evening alone? Was there someone worried about her just as much as I was?
My lowest adult weight was when I was a senior in high school. With the combination of my youthful metabolism and hours upon hours of dancing, I weighed a light 100 pounds. Even then, I would stare in the mirror, pinching parts of my stomach that I didn’t like. Now, I would kill to have that body again, even when my friends tell me there is nothing wrong with it now.
I can picture that woman going home, also staring at herself in the mirror, hating every inch of what she sees.
Even with my fascination of media and pop culture, I wish I could take away the weight obsession. I see so many amazing people in my life who aren’t happy with their bodies, when all I see is perfection.
It takes shocking sights like this to put things back into perspective. I had Taco Bell tonight with my dear friend Michael. The more I thought about the woman, the less I worried about the fast food I was putting in my stomach. I was in great company, and knew I could go home feeling loved.
Be kind to yourself, even if it’s just today. You are perfect.
I'm going to fill you in on a little secret of mine: I'm obsessed with Pop Culture.
I was telling my friend John about my knowledge of all things celebrity and he responded with, "That's your hobby!" (Or....something along those lines)
At first, I was completely disgusted. While other people knit or study a language...I obsessively read entertainment publications while watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians on E!.
It's my thing, get over it. We all have our guilty pleasures.
But, the more I've thought about it, I've been wanting to make good use of this blog for awhile....
We just had an Oscar party at Quaker Oats(my workplace), and I was bound and determined to win one of the trivia prizes. I could never show my face to my friends without proof of my knowledge re: the entertainment extravaganza of the year. I won, and you would have thought that I received Employee of the Year.
Why am I so interested in the lives of people I don't know? I don't think the fascination is from the people necessarily. I enjoy how the world reacts to them. There are very few things in this world that bring people together as much as our entertainment industry.
By watching them at their craft, we open the possibility of experiencing incredible artistic moments. By watching them live their lives, we think we are a "fly on the wall" to their triumphs and failures. I can easily connect to a total stranger with the mention of Mad Men or Jennifer Lawrence.* Their lives are far from ordinary, but it sure is an interesting study on humanity if you're willing to enjoy if with both eyes open.
*BTW, Jennifer is as fabulous as everyone thinks she is. If you disagree, then you are a dirty rotten liar.
I just want to be happy
"I just want to be happy."
Isn't that what everyone wants when it comes to living your life? I used to think it was such a simple statement. If I could just fulfill those 6 words, I would be good to go.
As a trained musician, I think this statement is a curse. I am constantly fighting for a happy medium between my desires as an artist and as a real person.
As of now, I haven't taken a voice lesson in over 2 years. Auditions? I don't even remember. I stopped because I reached a point where singing no longer made me happy. Instead, I felt constantly rejected and worn down. While I was living in New York, I stopped pursuing music entirely. Living in that city alone was enough to occupy my time. My thought has always been that if I can create a happy life for myself, that I would no longer need music. Life would be good enough. Achieving stability was the new goal.
I don't live in New York anymore, obviously. I came to Chicago for a better balance in life. I'm closer to my family, the city is friendly, and the prices are cheaper. Life here has exceeded my expectations in many ways. I'm working for a great company, earning more than I did on the East Coast. I've formed friendships with some really amazing people. I used to say that I only had a handful of friends from my time at grad school.....not anymore!
Over the holidays, I was feeling really good about myself. I had a great social life, I was getting into good shape, and I had stable work. I thought I had found my balance.
However, just over a week ago....I started feeling a bit off. There was a knot in my stomach that I couldn't shake. Once again, I was starting to feel unsatisfied. I went to dinner last night with a few friends of mine and I couldn't help but think, "I'm boring." I felt like I had nothing interesting to bring to the table.
Maybe that is overly dramatic, and not entirely truthful, but I now have the stable, sane life that I want, and I don't like it. This has nothing to do with my friends; they are amazing, insightful, and interesting people. They bring new ideas into my head everyday as colleagues and performers. They remind me that Artists never came into this world to be ordinary.
I miss talking about how my lessons are going, what gigs I have coming up, etc. It bothers me when I have to say, "I'm a trained musician, but I work as an admin now." I'm not living beyond my potential.
Does this mean that I'm going back to music? We'll see...I'm definitely going to take lessons, put myself out there. I just want to find my passion again. Checking in from 9-5 isn't cutting it anymore. It's time to start taking some risks and see what will come of it.
Wish me luck.
Spoooooky!!!
Pumpkin Carving!!
emma stone
I LOVE HER. Sooooooooo chic!!
My conductor during the fortississimos in Mahler
When someone from work/school emails me over the weekend
This gave me a good chuckle today.
When my friends are all talking about their husbands
Expectation is the root of all heartache.
William Shakespeare (via Swanfeather Songs)
LISTENING TO MAHLER
I want to see this again... this weekend... bam.
Oh hold on.... important phone call coming in
Where are the Olympics in 2024? Hopefully Paris. FYI, I look amazing in gold.
Updates
What have I been up to lately?
- Left NYC
- Hung out in Indianapolis
- Helped my parents move to Rockford
- Found a job in Chicago(Pepsico)
- Looking for a place in Chicago
Any questions? Mmkay.
“A lot of people say I seem masculine, but I don’t feel it. I feel intrinsically feminine. I’d love to be one of the boys but I always felt a bit on the outside. Maybe my masculine qualities come from overcompensating because I’m not one of the boys.”
Swoon.
