Author's note: I just wanted to write something slightly angsty with a happy ending :)
Summary: You’ve noticed Michael acting strange lately. Is it just missing him? Or something worse?
Being married to Michael Jackson wasn’t easy. Not because of him, he was the best husband you could ever ask for. He was always so attentive and doting. Taking you on lavish trips when he had the free time and sharing your childlike wonder. He knows you inside and out, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
The hard part was the constant harassment from the media. The stories they try to spin about your husband, making up the more absurd lies. But sometimes their attention would drift to you. You weren’t a celebrity, nobody well known. Just somebody that Michael has known for most of his life. They loved to pick you apart. From your looks to what you’ve said in the few interviews you’ve had with Michael.
It felt never ending. You lied and told Michael that it didn’t bother you, but it really did. But you never wanted him to worry so you stayed silent.
Michael was in the middle of touring right now so you decided to stick closer to home. You’d visit his family on occasion but found some solace in the coziness of your house. One of the few times you decided to go out, your eyes wandered to a newspaper being sold. It was a photo of Michael with another woman. You didn’t care to know who she was, but you felt like she was everything you weren’t.
After that those passing thoughts ate at you. He’s been gone for months now so it wouldn’t be surprising if he got lonely. You called every night but that wasn’t the same as being there in person. He’s always been faithful. Never even looked twice at the women who all but threw themselves at him.
Right?
These thoughts ate at you for months. Without meaning to you could feel yourself pulling away. Your calls were cut short, you didn’t open up to him as you normally would. You rationalized that it would make the heartbreak hurt less if he did come home and told you he did in fact cheat.
He noticed this change in you. It honestly hurt when the one person he really wanted to talk to at the end of the day wasn’t engaging with him as you normally would. But the more stories and photos you saw, the pit in your stomach only deepened.
You knew the tabloids lied all the time. You saw it with the endless things they said about Michael, but it was the photos that bothered you the most.
By the time the tour ended, you felt almost disconnected. When he finally got home you tried to act as you usually would. But you were just going through the motions. After weeks of this you finally faced your fears and decided to ask him straight up. He was at the studio for the day, but came home as soon as he was done.
“Angel? I’m home!” He called as he stepped through the door. Slipping off his shoes, he walked towards the living room and was a bit puzzled with what he saw. You were sitting on the couch, head in your hands.
“Mama, you okay?” He asked as he sat down on the couch next to you, putting a soothing hand on your shoulder,
You took a breath, finding the courage to ask him. The last thing you wanted to have was this discussion, but it was the only way to truly know.
“Before I start I just need you to tell me that you’ll tell me the truth, and I want you to know how much I love you.” You turned your head and looked him in the eyes. He furrowed his brows, looking confused.
“I love you too baby. What’s going on, you're scaring me.”
With a shaky breath you quietly said, “Are you cheating on me?”
At this he looked like you slapped him. He shook his head with a frown on his face. “I would never do that. You know I have eyes for you and you only. What on earth made you feel that way? Was it something I did?”
As soon as the words left your mouth you realized how silly they sounded. The man who's been obsessed with you since day one? The man who has thanked you countless times for sticking by his side since day one?
You felt even more ridiculous, you'd let your insecurity get the best of you.
“No! It’s not that, I swear. It’s just sometimes I let what the media says get the best of me. I see you with all these beautiful women when you're at events when I’m not there and I just can’t help but think about how they're everything I’m not.”
You could see the heartbreak on his face. He hated when you talked down about yourself like this. “You wanna know a secret?”
You nodded. ‘When I’m out at those events, the only person on my mind is you. I don’t even look twice at those girls. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I just hope that someday you can see that in yourself.”
You teared up at that, his reassurance pulling you back together. You knew that he thought that about you, but sometimes you forget it. It’s hard seeing all those things in the news.
“I’m sorry.” Was all you said as you put your head down. A lone tear sliding down your cheek.
He lightly grabbed your chin, moving your head up so you were looking at him. He wiped the tear off of your cheek with a small smile on his face. “You know how much I love you. I don’t want those stories getting in your pretty head again, okay?”
You smiled back at him. “I love you too, angel face.” He spent the rest of the night showing you how beautiful he thought you were.
Author's note: I wanted to write a quick and simple story about how the two of you met :)
OTW!Michael x reader
Summary- Who knew your nightly walks could introduce you to an unlikely friend?
You’re not sure when the habit started. Maybe last summer when you came back for the summer after your freshman year at college. Your parents were rarely home, mainly having you housesit while they were on vacation. You didn’t mind though, it was nice to have a break from their constant bickering. Nightly walks became your solace, the world was quiet and just seemed more peaceful.
It was a cool night in June, the slight breeze making the weather all the more comfortable. The crickets we’re chirping and it seemed like you were the only one outside tonight. You had walked for maybe five minutes before you saw someone walking on the other side of the road. He looked to be about your age, wearing black pants and a red sweater. Nothing about him seemed off putting so you didn’t feel threatened when he shot you a small wave.
You waved back and it seemed like he took that as an invitation to walk over. You stopped where you were and waited for him to walk over to you. When he made it to you, he seemed unsure what to say. So you started the conversation for him.
“Hey, how's it going?” You said, the words sounding less weird in your head.
Real smooth.
“Oh, um, I’m alright. How about you?” He rubbed a hand behind his neck, most likely feeling just as awkward as you did.
“I’m good, Just enjoying the weather. What's your name?” If there's one thing about you, it's that you're notoriously bad at making small talk. But hey, you were trying.
He looked almost surprised that you asked for his name but quickly recovered. “I’m Michael, and you are?”
You gave him your name and he gave you a small smile. “That's a beautiful name.” You could see a subtly blush creek up his cheeks through the dim street light.
You could feel a blush of your own make its way to your cheeks. “Oh thank you.”
“I hope this isn't too formal but would you care to walk with me? Since we’re heading in the same direction and all.” You mulled it over in your head for a second. He seemed nice enough and you could use the company from someone your age.
“Sure thing. So what brings you out tonight?” You asked as the two of you started walking again, keeping a leisurely pace.
“I like walking at night. It helps me clear my head, you know?” You nodded with complete understanding.
“I get that. It’s actually why I’m out tonight. I’m surprised I haven't seen you before, I come out here almost every night.” You looked over at him and he looked vaguely familiar. Maybe you went to school with him? You could hardly remember your old classmates so it wouldn't be too far off.
“Maybe we just come out at different times? My schedule can be pretty sporadic so I'm never really out at the same time every night.”
“Yeah that makes sense. So what do you do for work?”
He gave you that same look of brief surprise but turned his head back around to look at the sidewalk ahead of you. “I work in music.” Was all he said.
“That's pretty cool. I’m back from school for the summer so that’s definitely not as interesting.”
He laughed as the two of you walked on. The conversation flowed surprisingly easy. You told him about what you were studying, talking about your families and really anything else that came to mind. Unfortunately you saw your house coming up, a pang of sadness nipped at your chest.
“Well this is my stop.” You sighed, turning to face him. His face slightly fell as he asked “Will I see you again?”
“Absolutely! If you wait here I’ll jot down my number so we set up another walk if that's okay with you?” You bit the inside of your cheek, hoping you didn’t sound desperate.
He nodded. “Sure thing.” You turned and walked inside, quickly finding paper and a pen. You wrote down your number and walked back outside.
You handed him the paper with a smile. “Call me when you can and we’ll find a day to walk together. See you soon?”
“Yeah, see you soon.” Michael said as he slipped the paper into his pocket.
He waved you goodbye as you walked into the house. He was over the moon as he walked back to the house. Who knew that these late night walks would actually lead him to a friendship with a girl who wanted to know him for him, not the star. He just knew that this was the start of something beautiful.
Author's note: All I’m going to say is, sorry in advance.
Summary: Losing you was Michael's biggest fear. 25 years was not nearly enough time.
Mature!Michael x reader
Denial-
It was a normal day for Michael, he had a couple meetings to go to before coming home to his loving wife. He was planning on taking you out tonight as a celebration for publishing your first book. Something you’ve been planning for years.
He had just walked out of his last meeting when his phone started blowing up. Loads of texts were coming through from multiple people but before he could read them his phone rang. It was a number he didn’t recognize. He answered anyway, figuring it was work related.
“Is this Mr. Jackson?” An unfamiliar voice said through the phone.
“Yes, who is this?” He asked as he started walking towards the elevator. He stopped as soon as the other person on the phone started talking. It was a nurse from the local hospital, telling him that you’d gotten into a car accident and that he needed to get there right away.
He hung up the phone and sprinted towards the stairs, figuring that it would be faster. He took the stairs two at a time, almost tripping a time or two. He all but dove into the car, yelling at the driver to get to the hospital as fast as he possibly could.
Time went by at a snail's pace. The ride taking a few minutes, but felt like a few hours instead. As soon as they pulled up to the hospital he started to get out before the car could come to a full stop. He ran into the hospital, frantically asking where you were.
He was directed to the third floor and he made his way up as fast as he could. He finally made it to the room, his security finally catching up to him. He stopped in his tracks, his world coming to a halt. His eyes landed on your small frame, bruised and broken. A doctor straddling you as he did CPR.
“No.” Was all he said before trying to step in the room. It took three of his security guards to hold him back. He screamed your name, hoping and praying to God that you could somehow hear him. His guards led him to the private waiting room. They had to stand by the door to keep him from trying to leave. He tried anyway.
He paced, he cried, he all but pulled his hair. He tried to come up with 500 different reasons why this could not be happening. Maybe they had the wrong person? Maybe they’d bring you back and you’d be okay. Maybe this was all a sick nightmare and he’d wake up any second now. He refused to believe reality.
After what seemed like hours, the doctor walked into the room. A grim look on his face.
“As you know, your wife got into a pretty serious car accident. She sustained many catastrophic injuries. They were not survivable. We did absolutely everything we could but we ultimately couldn’t get her back. I’m sorry Mr. Jackson but she died. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Michael heard what the doctor was saying, but his brain wasn't fully registering what the words meant. It came to him in bits and pieces.
Catastrophic injuries
Not survivable
Couldn’t get her back
Dead
Dead
Dead
It was like he was looking through a tunnel. He tried to keep his composure, he really did. But the sobs came out anyway.
“Can I please see her?” His voice sounded foreign to his own ears, coming out as a raspy whisper.
The doctor nodded, leading him and his security guards back to your room. When he got to your hospital room he had to push down the bile that was actively trying to come up. The machines were all unplugged, leaving the room unnaturally silent. You were laying on the bed, a tube still in your throat but unplugged from the ventilator. Your face and arms were bruised, dark purple splotches covered your arms and neck.
It took all he had in him to not fall to his knees when he made it to your bed. He collapsed in the chair that was pulled next to the bed. He grabbed your hand, it was already unnaturally cold. The warmth was already starting to leave your body.
He put his head down and started to sob. These were the cries of a truly broken man. This morning he had woken you up with breakfast in bed, kissing you before heading out the door with the promise of a surprise when he returned. Now? He was weeping over your lifeless body.
His mind was screaming at him that this wasn't real. That this was some cruel joke. That you would open your eyes and laugh at him. That was one of his favorite sounds.
And he would never hear it again.
No amount of begging and pleading would bring you back. After all these years you stood by his side. Through the highs and lows of his stardom. Your love and loyalty never waivered, and it kept him anchored to reality. The one person who truly loved him as he was. Not someone who was close to gain something, close because you chose to. Close because you vowed to him in front of God and your family that you’d stay by his side for the rest of your life.
He picked his head up to look at your unmoving face once more. The breath got knocked out of his lungs as the horrifying reality of this situation slammed into him.
For the first time in twenty five years, he was well and truly alone.
are you willing to write h/c with michael where reader is a major overthinker but she doesn't take it out on anyone or get mad at him, instead she keeps it to herself and tries to act normal and nice but ofc he notices something is wrong so he is gentle and patient and tries talking it out with her as best as she can?
Author's note: Thank you so much for all the love on my last few fics. Your kind words mean more to me then you'll ever know <3
Summary- Michael is desperate to make up for the awful things he said and the way he made you feel. He’d do anything to make it right.
After leaving Marlon's house he had his driver take him downtown. He had a rough idea about what he wanted to get you. He knows deep down that material gifts aren’t enough but it’s what he could do to soften the blow of coming home.
He went to your favorite candy store first. Buying way too many sweets because he couldn’t make up his mind. Then he’d head over to the local florist and sheepishly ask what bouquet would work best for an apology.
After that he’d be driven home, praying to god that you’d forgive him. (and not throw anything else at him.)
Once he got home he put everything on the table, deciding to talk to you first before shoving gifts in your face. He peeked his head in the living room and didn’t see you there. So he headed to your shared bedroom next. What he found broke his heart.
You were curled up on the bed, facing away from him. Your soft cries being the only sound in the room.
“Sweetheart?” He said gently as he slowly made his way towards the bed.
You heard him approaching but didn’t move a muscle. Your crying slowed down to just the occasional hiccup. He sat down on the bed next to you and rubbed small circles onto your back.
“I’m really sorry about what I said earlier. I wasn’t thinking and I didn’t think about how it would hurt you.”
You peeked your head up and wiped your eyes. “I know. I know you were just excited and didn’t mean anything malicious by it. But it still really hurt Michael.”
You sat up and leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder. He gave you a kiss on the head and pulled you closer.
“I’m still sorry and I want you to know that we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. We can keep trying, or we can take a break. No matter what you decide I’ll stand by you.”
You smiled at that, wiping the tears off of your cheeks. “I think a break would be good. I should probably let my body heal after everything.”
You let out a laugh and he looked at you with his brows raised. “I’m sorry that I threw a book at you.”
“I kinda deserved it.” He laughed. After that you two sat in comfortable silence before he spoke again.
“I know but still. I’m also sorry for yelling at you, I know you don’t like it when people do that.” You grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. You knew that his upbringing made him shrink whenever he was yelled at, and you felt awful that you did. Even if it was justified.
“It’s alright angel. How about this, we go downstairs and I show you what I got you. Then we can watch whatever your heart desires. Does that sound good?” He stood up and took your hand. Leading you back down the stairs.
When you got to the bottom of the stairs your eyes were drawn to the table where a gorgeous bouquet of tulips and what seemed like an endless amount of candy.
“Michael Jackson, did you buy me apology flowers?” You said with a giggle, stepping towards the table to smell the flowers.
“I did, I hope you like them.” He looked over at you with a blush dusting his cheeks.
“I do, now let's go watch some movies.” You grabbed an armful of candy and walked towards the couch.
You spent the whole night eating more candy than you should've, cuddling until you fell asleep on his chest.
And little did you know, the very next year you would be pregnant with your daughter.
Let's take a breather from all the angst for a second. This is just going to be tooth rotting fluff before I get back on my bullshit.
Author's note: Michael has been forgiven, but how will he show you that he’s changed?
The two of you climbed into the back of the car, soaked to the bone. Bill gave you a knowing glance in the rearview mirror before driving off. Michael had your hand in a death grip. Almost like he was scared you’d change your mind if he let go.
You shivered and leaned into him, putting your head on his shoulder. You were freezing and hoped to get some heat back between the two of you. He put his arm around your shoulders before pulling you closer to his side.
“I missed you so much baby. I thought I’d never see you again.”
Michael nuzzled his face into your hair, breathing in your scent.
“I missed you too.” You said simply, leaning further into him.
You drove for about an hour before pulling up to the tarmac. A soon as the car stopped Michael was pulling you out of the car and towards the plane, clearly itching to get home. You stopped, pulling on Michael's hand. He looked back at you obviously confused.
“What about my clothes? I brought most of them with me.”
“I’ll buy you more.” Was all he said with a boyish smile.
You laughed as he pulled you towards the plane once again. Once on board, you asked if he had any spare clothes. You wanted to get something dry on as soon as possible, not really caring what it was. As long as it was dry.
Before the plane took off the two of you changed into dry clothes. You were wearing one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants he packed. As soon as you were changed he practically pulled you into his lap. You were straddling him, resting your face into the crook of his neck.
He wrapped his arms around your waist as the plane took off. Rubbing soothing circles onto your back. He pressed a gentle kiss on the crown of your head and was whispering on and on about how much he loves you. How much he missed you, and when he thought you were asleep he talked about how scared he was to lose you. How he thought he actually did. How he was going to make this right and never make you feel neglected ever again.
You had to hold back tears while you let him get everything out. Two months of regret spilling out of him. But at some point you must’ve dozed off because next thing you know Michael was gently shaking you awake. You let out a groan and put your head further into his neck.
“You gotta eat pretty girl.” He laughed.
You lifted your head gently so you were looking him in the eyes.
“Where are we?” You mumbled, voice still heave with sleep.
“Somewhere over the Atlantic I think. But seriously, they brought us some food and I don't want it getting cold.”
That was one of the perks of flying on a private plane. They could make you food if you requested it beforehand. You shifted in his lap and saw the plate of pancakes, fruit, and oatmeal placed neatly on the table in front of you.
As good as the food looked, you were honestly still exhausted from the long night and dramatic night the two of you had. You shifted back around, putting your head down once more.
“I’m too tired baby.” You muttered into his neck.
“Well that's no good.” He said as he leaned forward.
You poked your head up again, leaning to see what he was doing. He grabbed the spoon from the oatmeal and brought it back towards you.
“Open for me love.” Was all he said before sliding the spoon into your mouth.
From the outside looking in this would look pretty comical. Even to you it was. The last time he fed you like this you were too sick to lift your arms up. But you found it endearing, this was him trying. Doing so effortlessly. Even with this small action you knew that he was truly sorry and was committed to changing.
The flight thankfully went by in a blur. You spend most of the time sleeping and whenever you tried to move off of Michael he would just pull you back and assure you that he wasn’t uncomfortable.
When you finally landed the both of you hurriedly walked off the plane. Thanking the pilots and the staff on the way out. You slid into the back seat with Michael not far behind you. As soon as he got his seat belt on he reached for your hand.
This was nothing new. He was always a lover of physical touch, especially after something as big as this. Thankfully the drive didn’t last too long and you were eager to get out of the car and back into the house.
You hesitated before crossing the threshold, the memories of that night came rushing back. You started to feel some guilt gnaw at your chest. You could only imagine how scary it must've been to come back to find your wife gone with no note, no explanation, just shattered picture frames and rings on the table.
“You okay?” You heard Michael say from behind you.
“I’m sorry. I left so quickly and suddenly that I never stopped to think how awful it must’ve been to come home to an empty house.”
You could feel the tears sting your eyes. You’ve always been an empath at heart and the image of Michael frantically looking for you only to find nothing but an empty closet and your rings on the table broke your heart a little. In hindsight it seemed almost cruel. You knew that his fear was losing you and you played into that out of hurt.
“Hey, get out of that pretty little head of yours. Was it scary? Absolutely. Did I deserve it? Probably. But we’re putting that behind us and starting over.”
He hugged you from behind and placed a kiss on the top of your head. You gently leaned back into him and let out a small sigh. Finally gaining the courage to walk into the house. You had almost forgotten how Michael had always given you the courage you lacked in previous years. It was nice to hear it again. Even though you were still weary, you could feel yourself slip back to him with total ease.
The change in him happened gradually. Not fast enough to scare you off but not too slow so you wouldn't think he forgot entirely. It started with one of the first things he did for you when you first started dating all those years ago. Little post it notes scattered around the house for you to find.
You look beautiful today
You’re the love of my life, never forget that
I love you forever and always dream girl
Then there were the little gifts he got you. Small things you had mentioned way back when. Somehow he remembered after all this time. Flowers are a weekly occurrence now. A new bouquet waited for you every Monday morning.
He kept true to his promise. You asked if he would take some time off of work to catch up on lost time and he did it with zero hesitation. Sure it was a logistical nightmare and he did have to take a call every now and then but he never left the room to take them like he usually did. He would sit down on the couch and motion for you to join him. You’d lay your head down in his lap while his fingers worked their way through your hair.
It would lull you to sleep every time. The sound of his voice was practically a melody to you. He would sit there until you woke up, scratching your head the entire time.
There were also other fun things you did together during his time off. After you mentioned wanting to cook more he hired a private chef to teach the both of you how to cook. Somehow he learned way faster than you did which led to late nights in the kitchen with him standing over your shoulder, helping you with the techniques.
Baking together was another adventure. It started out serious but always turned into the two of you throwing flour at each other.
The last week before he absolutely had to go back to work he took you on a trip to disneyland. Rented out the entire park so it could just be the two of you out in the open without anyone interrupting. Thad was one of your favorite days, getting to ride as many rides as you wanted to. Filling up on popcorn and churros.
When he did have to go back to work he kept it local when he could. Making sure to keep you updated on his schedule throughout the day. Once touring finally came around he immediately asked you to go with him. You said yes without hesitation. Getting to see him perform almost every night? Watching him dance in those outfits you just couldn't get enough of and letting him take out his post concert energy out on you? Dear god, yes please.
Things were better than ever and you both didn't want it any other way.
Okay I hope this isn't absolute buns, it feels kinda rushed but I wanted to end the series with a bow on top <3
I get so many whenever I think about Michael at the end of his life. Almost nobody called him or checked in on him except for like four people. But somehow his memorial was packed full of celebrities??? It just pisses me off the more I think about it
Author's note: Like I said I dropped everything to write this because it's absolutely hilarious to think about how he’d react.
I also put the links to the two tiktoks mentioned so watch till your hearts content.
Summary: Showing your husband edits of himself. That’s it, that’s the plot.
You were laying on the couch in the living room. Scrolling TikTok as one does on a lazy Saturday afternoon. You made an account not that long ago but soon discovered the tiktoks made about your husband. Specifically the thirst edits of him. It was your guilty pleasure. I mean who wouldn’t want to watch those. Plus you loved commenting every now and then.
You were giggling like a schoolgirl when you saw an edit of him during the bad tour. All these years later those outfits still got you all hot and bothered. But you'd never tell him that (You so would if he’s wear them for you again)
As if cue you could hear Michael walk into the room and sit down next to you, moving your feet just so he could put them in his lap. He took a sip of his orange juice and you let out another giggle.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” He said as he started to rub your feet.
“Nothing! Just some tiktoks.” You said as you lowered your phone so you could look at him.
“What the hell is a tiktok? Like a clock?”
This earned another snort from you. “No baby, it's that app I was telling you about. The one with the funny videos?”
“Oh yeah that one. Are you going to share with the class? I like to laugh.” He said as he reached for his glasses.
You all but slammed your phone down on your chest. “No way, use your own phone.” You said a little too quickly.
“Girl what on earth are you hiding?” He asked with a raised brow.
“Nothing, I swear!”
“No way, I know the look you have when you’re lying.”
You scoffed with mock offence. “I do not have a look.”
“Oh yes you do, we’ve been together long enough that I know all your looks. Now show me the video before I take your phone and look myself.”
“Okay, okay fine. But you have to promise that you won’t make fun of me” You laughed, sitting up so he could see your phone.
“Now why on earth would I do that?” He let out a small laugh as he adjusted his glasses. But that laugh soon died down when he saw the video play on your phone.
It was one of the many edits you had saved. A mix of his different dances throughout the years. You had to hold in a giggle when you saw his face go from humorous to morbid curiosity, to something bordering horror.
“What on earth is this?” He let the video repeat five times before you paused it.
“It’s my favorite, look how hot you are baby.” You said dreamily. A blush creeped its way up his cheeks.
“Hold on. What do you mean your favorite? There’s more?” He asked with a raised brow.
You played the video one more time before going to your profile and clicked on your collection of saved edits. “So many more my love.” You had saved a whopping total of one thousand videos (and counting lets be real).
The second video played and it was a mix of different videos from his old concerts from the bad tour. You were basically drooling over this video. To be fair it was your favorite era. Michael watched the video with a growing smirk on his face. He would never say this but he was starting to love this. He had no idea so many people still loved him. Plus he did agree, he sure as hell did look good.
Your finger must’ve slipped because suddenly the comments appeared on the screen. You tried to hide them but it was too late, he was soaking it all in.
Thank you for blessing my eyes with such a gorgeous man
These edits are not helping my obsession or delusion
And suddenly I became the floor
Till the dentist knows its him
THATS DADA
He walks like he knows its heavy
And right at the top was the comment you left,
Thanks for reminding me that he’s right upstairs, brb ;)
At this point you were hysterical while Michael just watched you with amusement. “What on earth do all of those mean?”
“I don’t think you want to know baby. Just think of it as they want what I have every night.” You winked at him. Thankfully he knew exactly what you were hinting at.
Author's note: This one is a little heavy and I hope I can do it justice. Miscarrage is something I’ve struggled with so I think I can work through the feelings of the reader as I write. I also adore Debbie so I don't think I have it in me to write anything mean in this one. Anywho please don't read if miscarriage and infertility is triggering to you. Take care of yourself first always and I’ll see you in the next one <3
Part two
I got this idea from @2young4ublog <3
TW: Descriptions of infertility, miscarriage and fighting.
Summary- You and Michael have been trying to have a baby for over a year now with no luck. But when an old friend offers to help, the betrayal cuts deep. No matter how good the intentions were.
It was starting to feel hopeless. Month after month it was another negative pregnancy test. You did everything right. You tracked your ovulation windows and even kept a written log of when those were month by month. Every negative pregnancy was another knife to the heart.
Michael held you when you cried about how you felt like you were failing him. How you couldn’t give him the one thing he wanted most in this world. He constantly reassured you that you were not failing him. How next month was another chance. To not lose hope.
Reality slapped you the following month. You finally, finally, got your first positive. You and Michael cried together. So incredibly hopeful for the future. Only for those hopes to be shot down a few days later when you woke up to blood running down your legs.
Michael was already up for the day but came sprinting into the bedroom the second he heard your screams. The second he saw the blood that covered the lower half of your body he knew. You didn’t cry right away, too emotionally exhausted to care.
Michael suggested that you took a break from trying for the next couple months and you quickly agreed. You couldn’t take another loss. Another negative test. It was getting to be too much.
So imagine your surprise when a few days later, Michael came home with a huge grin on his face. Telling you all about how your mutual friend, Debbie Rowe, offered to carry your baby for you. You knew she brought it up with no ill intentions. But that left you with only two thoughts running through your head.
One- he genuinely thought this was a good idea. Having somebody else do what your body refused to do.
Two- He told Debbie about the miscarriage, when you begged him to not tell anybody.
You could feel the color slowly drain from your face, nausea hitting you immediately. One lone tear made its way down your cheek. This was all the confirmation you needed to know that he did in fact think that your body was broken. How he had so little faith in you that he was over the moon when somebody who could offered to do it for you.
After a minute of going on and on about how wonderful this is and how he was ready to start the process he must’ve noticed your lack of response. He finally looked up at you to be met with the sight of your almost shellshocked face.
“What? Isn’t this a good thing? She's offering to have our baby! I figured since you haven’t been able to carry one this would be an amazing opportunity.”
And there it was.
After meeting his gaze you finally managed to choke out “I only had my miscarriage four days ago. Now you’re just jumping ship and finding someone who actually can? Do you know how messed up that is?”
What great fucking timing he has.
He looked at you ,almost seeming bewildered. He truly couldn’t understand what your problem was. You wanted a baby, right? This was the golden ticket to finally have one.
“I’m confused, don’t you want a baby?”
“Of course I do! But I want to carry our baby myself! Why else would I have been trying so hard? I can not believe that you honestly don’t see how fucked up it is to come in here, only four days after my miscarriage, ready to knock someone else up? Why on earth would I be excited about that?”
Your voice got increasingly louder as more tears fell down your cheeks. No longer tears of sadness but tears of anger.
“I only thought it would be a good idea because you can't hold a pregnancy! You know how badly I want to start a family, and-”
You stopped listening at that point. White hot rage finally spilling over. You grabbed the thing closest to you, a hardcover book, and threw it as hard as you could at him. It just barely missed his head.
“What the hell?” He yelled as he looked at you.
“Get the fuck out.”
You wiped the tears off of your cheeks. But it was useless because more just kept falling.
“What?”
“I said get the fuck out! I don’t give a shit where you go, just go!” You yelled, never breaking eye contact with him.
He looked at you wide eyed, not sure how his normally soft spoken, loving wife could be treating him like this. Not wanting to anger you further, he slowly made his way back to the front door.
“I love you.” He called over his shoulder before stepping out of the house, and for the first time in your entire relationship you didn’t say it back.
All you did was sit down on the couch, put your head in your hands and sob.
Michael was unsure about where he could go. He knew you needed some time to cool off so he figured being out for a while would be best. He finally decided to be driven to Marlon's house. It didn’t take too long to get there and when he did he spilled his guts about today's events.
He was in the middle of his story when he was met with a hard thwack to the back of his head.
“Dude, that's just cold. I don’t know if you realize it but you just broke that poor girl's heart. Not only is she fresh off a miscarriage, but you come home a few days later gushing about someone who, and I quote, can actually have a baby? I love you but that was just about the worst possible thing you could've said to her.”
Marlon's words finally hit Michael, the feeling of dread slowly washing over him.
“I didn’t even think about it that way. It sounds way worse coming from someone else.” He said as he tried to rub the dull ache away from the back of his head.
“Look man, I know you’re excited but you know IVF is a thing right? If she truly can’t get pregnant naturally they can take some of your sperm and some of her eggs and make an embryo. It’s not that she doesn’t want a baby, she just wants to carry the baby herself.”
Michael realizes how badly his words must have hurt, especially when you suffered a loss not even a week ago. How could he say those things to his wife of all people?
“You’re gonna be in the doghouse man. I’d figure out a way to make it up to her.” Marlon said with a shake of his head.
“You’re right. I’ll figure something out. Thanks for the help.” Michael said before rushing back to the car. He knew he had a lot of making up to do, and knew just how to do that.
I’m so sorry if this seems rushed. I wanted to bring a little of my own experience with it into this. I know it’s a heavy read but part two will make up for it I promise.
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