i'm so exhausted. this week has been hell. but hopefully, maybe, idk it'll turn around and things will start to look up?
a bitch can hope.

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@lavenderlegends
i'm so exhausted. this week has been hell. but hopefully, maybe, idk it'll turn around and things will start to look up?
a bitch can hope.
was stressed and depressed this morning. had a little tiny (really tiny) cry. wifey comes out from sleeping in (migraine) and i break down a little and then i go over to snug up to her on the couch and wowowowow. my nervous system feels so much better.
i love this woman.
xo, 🪻
well, i was rejected from the interview i did last thursday. i'm not surprised. it wasn't my strongest and i was still sick, so. what did i expect, really? honestly, i'm p sure some part of me was like "maybe they'll see past that" but i should've known.
friday, i got a call for an interview on tuesday. saturday, they called to cancel the interview because they're putting a pause on their hiring right now. literally, so dumb.
which means, i have zero job prospects ahead of me.
i have two weeks left of my current job and wifey happens to be off for these two weeks. i think once she's back at work and i'm officially done, my plan will be to:
7am - 8:15am: drop wifey off at work, drive home
8:15am - 9:30am: job hunt
9:30am - 9:45am: break
9:45am - 10:45am: work on my side project for our bestie
10:45am - 11am: break
11am - 12pm: tidy an area of the house
12pm - 1:30pm: lunch
1:30pm - 3:30pm: write (or do a craft) and if i don't feel creative, declutter
3:30pm: pick up wifey from work
will i follow that plan? who knows. but it sounds good.
anyway, it won't be until april that i can really put that plan into action. wifey's off for two weeks, so not every day will look like that. i got to sleep in until 7:30am today! it was fantastic.
i did try starting my new story, but i was stoned for the first round and it was awful, lolol. i tried my hand at a second start and i think it was a bit stronger. honestly, i want to talk it out with wifey because i need a strong enough start that i feel the drive to keep writing it, lol.
anyway, i'm going to go do some more job hunting and mentally brace myself for applying for the other role at my current company. i'm lowkey anxious because i don't want to be rejected by them again.
but it'd be money, so. let's gooooo.
xo, 🪻
honestly i'm so tired today. i've applied to some jobs this morning and i prepared my application for another role at my current company. i'm not sure i'll get the job at my current company because it feels like they don't want me anymore, to be honest. but if i do get it, i'll likely keep job hunting until i find a better fit for myself.
i did have an interview yesterday, but i'm still under the weather so it wasn't my strongest interview. i'm not counting on it, frankly. the job hunting world is too competitive to not be on my A-game.
but i'm going to try to focus on other things today:
tidying up the living room to reset it after being sick
writing a new book since my current one has been sent to my editor
hanging with my wife
i need joy in my life and i need to focus on that.
xo,🪻
hi. i’m lavender. 🪻
i really want to try journaling again. i journaled consistently on tumblr from 2006 (when it was in beta-mode) until i got sick in 2018. it's 2026. can i come back after 8 years of being away and popping in once every few months for a couple days and then dipping again? i don't know.
but i made every post on this blog private so i could start fresh. and hopefully, maybe, i'll stick around again.
we'll see if i remember this blog exists in 48 hours, haha. but i want to try.
my goal is to share bits of my life, thoughts, and musings here.
i'm job hunting right now because my contract ends soon and i'm stressed af and i think i need a place to put the anxieties and fears and worries that come with it.
but again, i may forget this blog exists in two days so . . . we'll see, folks! wish me luck, haha.