guys iâm alive!! just been very busy, and the only art iâve had time for is either for college (which means i canât share it) or for the dnd campaign iâve gotten into (and the subsequent scp rpg campaign that hasnât started yet)
i will get some art to you soon though!! just not sure how soon
I ran an Aliens rpg years back. But the players didn't KNOW it was an Aliens game until halfway through the first session.
They thought it was a sci-fi game but they also thought the monsters were going to be zombies.
Over a period of 2 hours they then proceeded to make EVERY Aliens movie cliche "mistake" known to man. Because at the time they all made sense.
The characters in a story don't know they're in a story or what kind of story it is.
They might think their in a romcom instead of a slasher movie. And if you're not in a slasher movie, why the fuck would you search through every closet in your house just because a cup mysteriously fell off a table in the dining room?
so, i redrew this piece of Hastur i did last year:
and??? look at the difference?? the anatomy, the lighting, LOOK AT IT
anyway, i redrew this and had a bit of a crisis of ânext year iâm gonna redraw something iâm proud of now and iâll realise how shite i wasâ but then i realised how positive it can be to realise how youâve grown, both in good ways and bad ways, so thereâs that
anyway, i might post a speedpaint of this on youtube if thatâs a thing anyoneâs interested in? maybe? ah well. enjoy :]
hey, you see that blue? of thorinâs and fĂliâs eyes? yeah, thatâs yellow
anyway, some fun little headshots i did yesterday, at first as a sketch page to loosen up and then as a colour relativity practice. i did genuinely mean it when i said that blue is actually yellow. i couldnât tell if i preferred the shaded or unshaded versions, so you get both, as a treat
also, slowly progressing in the silmarillion using any spare time when my brain also happens to be working, and lemme tell you - eru knows what heâs doing, knows what everyone else is doing, is the one who chose for that to happen, and heâs still salty about it. heâs so done already and the first children havenât even arrived yet
i need to know - has Shane ever seen stupid deaths??? like?? i was rewatching some old content and honestly, i think heâd really love the joviality of Death. someone at watcher, please show Shane stupid deaths
Everyone's talking about how Nina and Maggie seem on the outside to mirror Crowley and Aziraphale respectively, but it's actually switched, and Nina mirrors Aziraphale while Maggie mirrors Crowley.
But I haven't seen as much talk about how the same thing is happening with Shax and Muriel.
Shax is Crowley's replacement on earth at the beginning of S2, and Muriel becomes Aziraphale's by the end. Muriel and Aziraphale particularly are presented as very alike on the surface (see their enthusiasm over playing a 'human police officer' and an intrepid 'newspaperman' for example). And Shax is eager to learn from Crowley, who has kind of taken her under his wing and is teaching her how to be a demon on earth.
But beneath their surface appearances, Shax is actually a mirror to Aziraphale, and Muriel is a mirror to Crowley. Shax and Aziraphale are the (soon-to-be) leaders of their respective Sides. Muriel and Crowley are nobodies, insignificant (as of now) to either Side. Shax and Aziraphale are stubborn, ambitious, and determined to make real change to their respective organizations for the benefit (or detriment) of humanity. Muriel and Crowley both crave connection, they both have (or will) come to deeply care about earth and humanity, and they both are (or once were/still are deep down) openly curious and filled with wonder and love for creation. In season 3, it's going to be Shax vs. Aziraphale in Heaven/Hell, and Muriel and Crowley figuring things out on earth together.
This parallel is just as important as the Nina/Maggie parallel, and will arguably be more important in Season 3.
Nina and Maggie mirror Aziraphale and Crowley as a couple, as partners. How they have to all grow into themselves before they can really be together.
Shax and Muriel mirror Aziraphale and Crowley as individuals. Aziraphale and Crowley have become increasingly codependent for 6000 years, and even more so in the four years before season 2. They need this time apart to learn and become comfortable with who they are without each other. And in that time, their encounters with Shax and Muriel will push them to grow, challenge them, and help them embrace parts of themselves that, up until this point, they relied heavily on each other to bring out in them.
It's Aziraphale, who's always been stereotyped as soft, vulnerable, ultimately weak, who's going to showcase his own strength. It's Crowley, who's always seen as all walls and sharp edges, who's going to become comfortable with his own softness. It's Aziraphale, who's always relied on his connections, not just to Crowley but to the people in his community, the restaurants where they know his name, who's going to have to trust himself to stand alone in order to face off with Shax. It's Crowley, who started out "on my own side" and who's only ever let Aziraphale in on it, who's going to have to open himself up to meaningful connections, first with Muriel, but then with other people and the world.
I have a lot more to say about how this mirror works and how it might play out in season 3, so let's get into it! (Seriously, this is gonna be a long one)(Like I've been writing this for weeks).
Shax and Aziraphale
By the end of season 2, Shax is the new Grand Duke of Hell and Aziraphale is the new Supreme Archangel of Heaven, so they are now each other's counterparts, the heads of their respective Sides.
(Sidenote: I am making an assumption here â Beelzebub does offer Shax the position of Grand Duke, but it's unclear whether that means she's got it. Maybe she'll start the season fighting with the Dark Council for the position, if she doesn't immediately start as Grand Duke. But this parallel works even if she doesn't actually occupy that role yet).
Remember, Gabriel and Beelzebub in season 1 were going along with the Great Plan, but they weren't really personally invested in it, so when that didn't pan out, they both realized they didn't want the headache of another Armageddon. In season 2 they're largely disillusioned and done with the whole thing. It's hard enough running Heaven and Hell as it is, they don't need another huge project like that to add to their plates.
Unlike their predecessors, then, Aziraphale and Shax both actually have a vision for their respective organizations, a vision that is uniquely their own and wasn't just written down and handed to them.
Aziraphale, post-season 1, is deeply disillusioned with Heaven. It's just a great, dull bureaucracy, with no understanding of morality and no interest in learning, which means it does more harm than Good to humanity. He goes to Heaven determined to change it, to align it with the sense of morality he's developed over thousands of years spent among humans. He will bring Heaven back to its true Purpose of preserving Humanity and influencing them towards the Light. He will make Heaven really, properly Good.
Shax, meanwhile, is in largely the same place as Aziraphale when we meet her. Deeply disappointed that Hell is just a great dull bureaucracy, and that her job as ambassador to earth is too easy, that Hell can't even do real Harm to humanity. Hell can't even muster a proper legion of Demons, for Satan's sake! But as Grand Duke of Hell, she could change things for the worse. She could bring Hell back to its true purpose of tearing Humanity apart, influencing them towards the Darkness. She could make Hell really, properly Evil.
Aziraphale and Shax are both driven and ambitious. They're both disappointed in the institutions they work for and equipped with big ideas for change. They're both clever and steely and determined. They're both adept at influencing people to get what they want, with a kind or a harsh word (See: Aziraphale getting the whole street to come to the meeting; Shax riling up Maggie in the bookshop).
They're both stubborn, and they're both fighters, and their approach to problem solving is essentially single-mindedness and blunt force, insisting that they will get their way. (See: Shax storming the bookshop even though they couldn't get in; Shax reappearing as the Hitchhiker until Aziraphale relented; Aziraphale refusing to be threatened by the people in the Edinburgh graveyard; Aziraphale miracle-ing everyone into a Jane Austen novel).
I think theyâll go head to head in season 3, and I think that relationship with Shax is gonna be really important to Aziraphaleâs growth as an individual, to him figuring out who he is without Crowley.
Because Aziraphale has always relied on Crowley to externalize his inner strength.
Crowley constantly pushes him, challenges him, forces him to confront the places where his orders from Heaven or what he was taught donât align with what he truly values, what he feels in his gut. Crowley forces him to act when Aziraphale's standing there, twisting himself up into knots trying to be Good. It's not that Crowley gives Aziraphale strength, no, Aziraphale has always had it in him. It's Aziraphale's strength that draws Crowley to him in the first place (giving Adam and Eve the flaming sword â Aziraphale frames it as a spur of the moment thing but really it took great strength of conviction). But for the most part, it's Crowley who draws that strength out of Aziraphale, who helps him accept and embrace that part of himself, who makes him comfortable with it.
(Their encounter with Furfur is a prime example of this to me. Crowley's mere presence beside him means Aziraphale is calm and confident and it's extremely hot. He stares Furfur down, performs the magic trick with ease. Contrast that with how flustered he gets when Shax confronts him alone at the beginning of that episode. And how he gets even more flustered when Shax threatens Crowley).
Crowley tempts Aziraphale into trusting himself, into being himself. And Aziraphale needs Crowley â he admits that plainly, in the end. Without Crowley, he doesn't know how to be himself. Aziraphale fundamentally lacks self-trust and self-confidence. Crowleyâs belief in him, Crowleyâs trust in him, stands in for what he lacks on his own. Now, facing Shax, I think it'll force him to trust his instincts and his judgments, and ultimately help him see things more clearly. All this time he's kind of let Crowley do that clear seeing for him. Now he's on his own against an adversary that's evenly matched to him and I think it will force him to become more sure of himself and what he wants and believes.
I've said that I think we'll see a darker side to Aziraphale in season 3. But I think where he'll ultimately land is with a balance between softness and steeliness, one that's anchored within himself and not reliant on Crowley. Because of the way they're set up as each other's mirrors, I think Shax will be really important to that growth. Shax has this skill of pinpointing and exploiting people's weaknesses and vulnerabilities. I think this means she'll be part of what forces Aziraphale to confront all the uncomfortable truths and contradictions and complexities he's been pretending not to see in himself for millennia. I think he'll have to openly define who he is and what he values in response to her poking at his weak spots (not only in response to her â Aziraphale has far deeper Issues than just Shax â but she'll kind of force him to do that growth himself).
We can imagine that season 3 is going to build towards Aziraphale seeing clearly what Crowley's known this whole time, that the entire system is fucked and can't just be fixed the way he hopes to. And I think maybe, in another clever role-reversal, we'll end up with Aziraphale explaining that to Shax, convincing her to join him and take on the Metatron together. The forces of Heaven and Hell, allied. And Aziraphale, now firm in his convictions and sure of who he is, leading the charge.
Muriel and Crowley
By the end of season 2, Crowley and Muriel are both, essentially, exiles. Crowley has rejected both Heaven and Hell, and neither of them have much of an interest in him anymore, especially now that the Metatron has managed to separate him and Aziraphale. Muriel has been (not completely, but all the same) cast out of Heaven, left on earth to run the bookshop, but really because they know too much and have seen too much, and the Metatron needs them contained.
Crowley sees pieces of himself in Muriel, feels some sense of kinship with them. (I mean yeah outwardly he's annoyed by them but especially after their little excursion to Heaven together you know they're best buds). They both crave connection. They are both endlessly curious, and fascinated by the world and humanity. Pure, open wonder at the world. A deep love for creation and excitement about its potential.
And Crowley sees these things, and gives them The Crow Road to read, which I have not read myself but I gather from the summary on Wikipedia that it's essentially a crash course in humanity, for the purposes of this show. So in this way, everything that Crowley has come to admire in humanity, he imparts to Muriel. I don't know how conscious his choice of book was, but by giving them a book at all he is saying, on some level, look. Look how fascinating, how weird and complex, how infuriating and scary and wonderful humanity can be.
Those qualities still live in Crowley (just look at that smile as he's watching Nina and Maggie in the rain) even if the pre-Fall version of himself that could express them openly is barely a memory to him. He is still full of that wonder and fascination, that curiosity and love, even if he's in deep denial about it out of necessity. And I think Crowley's relationship with Muriel is going to be very important to him fully claiming and owning those parts of himself again, and figuring out who he is without Aziraphale.
Because Crowley has always relied on Aziraphale to externalize his inner softness.
Aziraphale constantly pushes him, challenges him, forces him to confront the places where his behaviors and actions, who he truly is, don't align with the detached, uncaring front he puts up, or his orders from Hell. Aziraphale names him kind and good with that knowing little smile on his face while Crowley twists himself up into knots trying to justify his actions as Evil. It's not that Aziraphale makes Crowley soft, Crowley has always had it in him. It's Crowley's softness that draws Aziraphale to him in the first place (not just the Starmaker, but the "hello, Aziraphale!" at the Flood, and the way he spoke to Jemimah, a million other instances throughout the millennia). But for the most part, it's Aziraphale who names the softness that Crowley displays, who calls it out and embraces it when Crowley cannot.
(The Job minisode is a prime example of this to me. I mean, Aziraphale is hella annoying about it but still. When Crowley looks him in the eyes, full of anger, and insists he's pure Evil, Aziraphale stares right back and demands he prove it).
Aziraphale recognizes Crowley, sees him clearly, sees right to the heart of him, in a way Crowley struggles to do for himself. And Crowley needs Aziraphale to articulate the parts of himself that he cannot give voice to, because of the threat of Hell but also because of the deep trauma of his Fall and the fear and despair he carries from it. Crowley fundamentally lacks the ability to truly express himself, to stand up and say, this is who I am and what I want. And more than that, Crowley's entire purpose for millennia has been protecting Aziraphale, helping Aziraphale, defending "our side" and their "precious, peaceful, fragile existence" from the threats of Heaven and Hell both. So without Aziraphale, Crowley doesn't know how to be himself.
Now, on earth, I think his relationship with Muriel will force him to do that, to name the parts of himself that he's always let Aziraphale name for him. To call himself kind, to admit how much he cares for the earth and humanity, to reconnect with that feeling, after pushing it down and denying it for so, so long. I bet he'll try to sleep until Armageddon comes, but Muriel won't let him. I bet they'll keep finding him, asking him questions, relying on him to guide them as they get to know the earth and humans. And I think that will force him to truly drop the act, to state plainly that yes, he's not as evil as he paints himself to be, he does care for humanity, and to reckon with all the reasons why he's felt the need to deny that for so long.
I think we'll see a lot more of Crowley's past trauma in Season 3. I think we'll hear the full story of his Fall (and if he tells that story to anyone, I bet it'll be Muriel). I think he'll have to truly process through it, and I think where he'll ultimately land is with a fuller, more complete version of himself, that he doesn't need to rely on Aziraphale to express. He'll never be the Starmaker again, that's not the goal. But he will be able to care openly, to protect the earth and humanity because he wants to, and not feel the need to cajole Aziraphale into agreeing to do it with him. I think Muriel will be really important to that growth. Muriel is learning, and they need a teacher. They need someone who understands that the qualities that Heaven looks down on in them are actually strengths, someone to encourage them and bring them out. I think they'll be part of what forces Crowley to confront those same qualities in himself, to recognize and name them himself. I think he'll have to openly embrace who he is and what he values in order to help them do the same.
At the end of season 2, both Sides are content to leave Crowley and Muriel on earth, among the humans. The threats they both posed to the system have been neutralized by the end of season 2, in their view. How much harm can they do, really? A heartbroken ex-Demon and a "dim," low-ranking Angel, on earth, among the humans?
Quite a lot of harm, actually.
Because here's the crucial thing. Everyone overlooks Muriel. No one cares what they're thinking. They're sweet and a bit dim and easy to manipulate, so it seems. But they have always been curious, eager to learn, eager to connect. And they're on earth now. They're meeting humans, asking questions, reading books ("they're like people, only portable!"). Muriel is learning, not as painfully or viscerally as Crowley did, but still, learning.
Crowley knows this story too well. Crowley has lived this story, and season 3 will be his chance to live it again. How do you bring Heaven and Hell down? It starts with the Muriels. The Angels whose spark of curiosity wasn't beaten out of them, who weren't important enough to be paid much attention to, who are still open to question and to learn. The most overlooked and underestimated are the most dangerous to a system like that. They're the ones whose questioning could bring the whole thing down.
We can imagine that season 3 is going to build towards Crowley seeing clearly what Aziraphale has known this whole time, that neither of them would ever be content to just run away and leave the earth to Heaven and Hell's mercy. And I think maybe, in another clever role-reversal, we'll end up with Crowley pulling his community together. Crowley rounding up Muriel (and Eric? and other Angels and Demons in the same place?) and all his human friends, banding together to save the earth from Heaven and Hell. Crowley, come to terms with who he is, making a stand to protect the humans he's come to care about so much.
I feel like it gets super duper over looked that Aziraphale refuses the archangel position at first, and only accepts after hearing that Crowley wouldn't just be left behind, he'd be taken care of even better in heaven with Aziraphale protecting him from the very Hell that wanted to destroy him, because he also saw the horrors they were planning for Crowley [a holy water in a bath tub as some kind of celebratory event, at that] not just the other way around. There's so much hate for the angel because he "picked heaven over crowley" or "walked out on their relationship" but he didn't, HE PICKED CROWLEY, he's always picked Crowley, just not while considering what Crowley would want. Yeah arguably it was selfish and in his best interest, but that isnt the least bit abnormal for people to do??? especially idiotic celestials that dont understand proper communication. but hey what do I know???
so, i started this last year as just aziraphale holding a sword, and then never finished it because i hated it. i had no inspiration today so i went through old wips, found the sketch, and thought iâd make it better. tada.
anyway, he misses crowley. and also grew a beard, because drawing beards is really fun, especially on characters who can grow a beard but donât.
i think crowley would love it, but wouldnât be able to handle it, and would tell aziraphale to shave it all off for his own mental and emotional stability and wellbeing
I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.
Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."
Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.
Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.
Something like this:
We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--
--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.
But it turns out he was this:
!!!
With his curly little--!!
And his neat white--!!
IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:
"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."
(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)
In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.
In sum...an innocent.
(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.
We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.
Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)
So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--
*checks notes*
--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.
...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.
All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?
He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.
That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...
...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.
Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."
And what reason does he give?
("I know you."
"You do not know me."
"I know the angel you were.")
What does that tell us about who he was? Is?
("The angel you knew is not me."
But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)
tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.
izzy806
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
dededos
titsay
origamiaround
