Leah the vegetable

Writer, animator, and vegetable. Am an adult 👍

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Hello :3 Welcome to my writing blog! I'm Leah, your friendly local vegetable. (If you're looking for my artfight, I have the same username everywhere :)) I write, draw, and occasionally animate!

If you like gorey horror or light hearted humour, you'll like my writing! I have 2 writing taglists for that reason. I try to do tag games whenever I can, and do feel free to tell me if you'd like to be tagged! I'm also always up to do some beta reading!

Now, since my blog can sometimes get quite out of date, your best bet for finding my stuff are the tags #my writing for my writing and #my art for my art & animations. You can also join my art, dark, and non-dark writing taglists!

That said, here's the masterlist of all my creative endeavours <3

Art & Animations

One-shots (<5k words)

Short Stories (<20k words)

And the two beloved Novellas! Do heed the TWs, they're quite dark.

A Tragedy of Love, Death and Maggots

Doc's been wandering through hell for a good twenty years, now. He thought he'd seen it all. He thought he'd felt it all. He thought he'd lost it all. But it turns out love just has a way of crawling back into his chest and breaking his heart again. A tragedy, as the name would suggest. Also very gorey horror. (Here's some fanart @/illarian rambling made of it >:)

Post by @leahnardo-da-veggie · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 10  ❤️ 16 · A Tragedy of Love, Death and Maggots, Collated · (TW: Maggots, gore, torture. 18k words, read it below the cut or in the

Ardence

The story of a girl who really didn't deserve any of it and the things you do to hurt those who hurt you. A sci-fi story.

Post by @leahnardo-da-veggie · 1 image

💬 1  🔁 32  ❤️ 54 · READ MY NOVELLA FOR FREE!!!!! · Hi guys :) Do you like sci-fi? Do you like thrillers?Do you like stories that make you wa

And of course, my miscellaneous projects. You'll see me posting about Menhecate (a visual novel about a depressed magical girl and her miserable life), the Novel™ (real name: Hot Girl Summer in a Burning Building), and Quisalios (a worldbuilding thing I'm doing on the side.) You'll find them in the #wip: menhecate, #Wip: The Novel™ and #project: quisalios respectively :)

Finally, since you've gotten this far, check out some other writers for me :) These are all people whose writing I genuinely love!!

@illarian-rambling : Classic fantasy with a twist!! She's got robot knights and hassled chainsmoking siren inspectors. Good stuff right there.

@mk-writes-stuff : Fanfic and sci-fi!! SSC is full of wonderful characters who worm their way right into your heart and a really on-your-toes tense plot

@vampirelover890: Reaaaallllyyyyy underrated. His stuff's so funny! Go read it now >:)

@finickyfelix : Writes really complex, beautiful, heartaching character dynamics. Also monsterfucking if you like that stuff

@jev-urisk : Writes excellent, thought provoking smut. Expect to be sad, horny, angry and heartwarmed in equal measure, with a complex, realistic cast who you'll end up loving whether you like it or not

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Less than half an hour before it ends for me, but happy pride month to my darling Hans-el! Someone please introduce him to the term aroace, please...

Do any of you have any idea of the sheer dread each marriage proposal inspires in me? Whatever would I do with a lady’s—or a man’s—hand in marriage? Why, the mere thought of it inspires revulsion and terror. Ravache was thoroughly correct when he wept in horror upon being cursed with romance. I would have taken it a step further and gouged out my own eyes, if only it would ward off potential suitors. Do not give me that look, either of you. Surely, in your heart of hearts, you must know that love is a disgustingly cs’csilki concept. Crude. Mortifying. And no part worse than procreation. Ugh! That mashing of the genitals, writhing of the limbs, bucking of the hips. When I heard of it, I fell to my knees and begged my nurseman to silence himself and spare me the horror.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

I FINISHED RACER!!! :D

I know I haven't been posting as much lately but I finally finished racer!!!!!! Aaaaah :) It turns out the foolproof solution to writing about a fictional mother is to sit next to your own mother and desperately hold back tears while you type out the last 2.5k words 💀💀

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

okay if anyone knows where I can find milgram merch in osaka my life will be YOURS. Please good god tell me where I can find it. I searched high and low in Tokyo and couldn't get any mannnn

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

No amanelings for me.... :(

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

LOOK AT MY NEW EARRINGS :)

hehe

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Seven Sentence Saturday!

Thankyou for the tag @beeonaspiderweb :) I've gotten back to writing Castella Cake while on holiday! Her hijinks are so fun to write :)

Oh, right. I had neglected to mention that my recent attempts with fire were rather… ill-fated. After Nonna disappeared, I found myself in the awkward place of having a vague idea of how fire spells worked, without any grasp on important details, like how to aim, and how to not murder everything in a fifty metre radius from my spell. After several second degree burns (and one horrible third degree), Grace had firmly banned me from playing with fire, so to speak. But what could go wrong? Surely not even the giant magic spider would be immune to fire.

Tagging @finickyfelix, @kitty-is-writing, @eccaiia, @cowboybrunch, @bodoramzap and open tag!

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

okay if anyone knows where I can find milgram merch in osaka my life will be YOURS. Please good god tell me where I can find it. I searched high and low in Tokyo and couldn't get any mannnn

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Goddamnit... I really wish I could finish Racer but apparently life doesn't want me write that last few thousand words 💀💀💀 Have a passage, though!

But why would she bother? Why would anyone bother? People like me were meant to be stepped on, stepped over, stepped across like a stone towards worthy pastures. We are nothing more but lambs to slaughter, people to slaughter, and boy do they like slaughtering us. No, my proclamations would never reach her. I might as well bleat in protest. In her eyes, the only thing that would ever make me worth listening to is violence. And so violence is what I resort to.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Trying to make MILGRAM in rimworld... If anyone happens to know a mod that adds an anti-medicine precept to Ideology, that would be good :) I really need my Amaneism cult to take off :)

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

All my muscles are sore 😭😭 time for me to keel over and die ig

[chauceryfairytales]

To be honest, I don't understand the focus on character in stories. Not that I don't find it nice to see other people having fun with their ocs! Or even that I don't understand their function. Sure, characterization is an important part of a narrative and some plots are internal/interpersonal instead of having to do with external events.

I just don't see my characters as separate from the things that are going on with them. Or description as separate from characterization in a close pov, I guess.

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

In my opinion quite a bit of it is that some people create characters before they create the story, which is how you get such oc-focused people. In your case, the characters emerge alongside the stories, I'm guessing, which is why they seem to be of equal focus?

I personally recognise quite a bit of dissonance between my characters that I made as simply to be characters, and my characters I made to fit a story. The former can exist in a semi-vacuum, allowing me to put them in a wide variety of scenarios (which is why I tend to write lots of short stories about them, rather than one long saga). The latter can only exist within the context of the story I've created for them.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about it, it's just a matter of priorities :)

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Hash and the Statue

Once upon a time, there was a shapeshifter. Now, in this day and age, her kind are dead, slain by the humans for their sins, but she's a special case. A very, very special case.

You see, her name was Hash Brown, and if you're thinking of a certain deep fried good right now, you'd be all too right. I know not if she named herself after the dish or if it was named after her, though. She is old enough that it could have been either. Should she tell you the story, do come running to me, for it is one she has long resisted letting me hear. I promise I will reward you quite aptly for such an act.

Hash Brown spent her days amongst the mortals, playing tricks on humans for her entertainment. This was one such day, a fine summer in southern Luxatia, where the zcaccha-blossoms were awake and raining purple upon the straw-hatched town of Emry.

The statue of the Witch of Emry stood proud in the town square, bearing her staff and hat. Light touched the beautiful gemstone set upon her staff, reflecting a rainbow upon the townsfolk.

Or, it would have if it had been there. But, it wasn't! Poof. Kaboom. Wham! No gemstone.

What, you think the special effects are childish? I'll have your head for that, sirrah. I'm the storyteller, and if you don't want to hear my story, you don't deserve to live.

Now, as I was saying, before I got so rudely interrupted, this was not, in fact Hash's fault. I know what you were thinking, heathen. Stereotyping our dear heroine, I see. Tch.

She had arrived in town late at night, in the form of a slinking housecat, soft and sweet, carrying nothing but her own soul. And that was a very light burden indeed, given how lacking it was.

Three youths stood in that town square, one balanced upon another's shoulders, prying the jewel out of the staff. There is a joke to be had in there, but I am afraid it is too coarse to be told by my fine tongue, so just imagine I said it.

When stone cracked and the jem came rumbling down, she was there to catch it, arms outstretched as a lithe woman. “Hail,” she said to the shocked children. “Wha’ do ya lot think ye're doin' here?”

Yes, she does really speak as such. There is an art to the twisting of the tongue that her people perform, and I have taken great pains to replicate her kina’ilra slurring. Observe, I can pronounce the phrase ‘y’all’re’ without any struggle. Do applaud for me.

The youths looked up and down at each other. “We're saving the world,” one, a girl, ventured, in tones so confused he might well not have believed his own words. “The Serpent comes to kill us all.”

“Serpent? I ain't heard of no serpent. Who told ya about this serpent?” Hash watched, unamused, as the kids climbed off each other and landed on the ground.

“The King's messenger warned us about it just the day before. Lady Emry's soulstone is said to repel danger, and we thought…” Underneath her icy gaze, the boy shrank back. “I'm Palian, miss,” he offered, by way of appeasement.

“Hash,” she replied, smiling the smile of a being who saw her day's entertainment serve itself on a platter. “So ya really need this stone?”

“Yes!” The other boy nodded. “Please give it back, Hash.”

“Hmm…” She inspected the jewel, holding it up under the moonlight. “Ah think not. It's pretty, may-be it'll be mine. I know a man who likes pretty things, afte' all.”

At this, all three children burst out into terrible babbling, reaching out for her and trying to snatch it back. She took one look at them, and fled. A most suspiciously Hash-like ferret took the jewel, and it was never to be seen again.

What, you wanted a better story? I just told you about how I got my most beautiful gemstone! Was that not good enough for your high standards? Fine, fine, I will allow you to hear what happens next. 

My dearest Hash brought me her gift, and I mounted it upon this throne. Look how it glitters. The Witch of Emry must surely be rolling in her grave, and what a joy for that. I never met her in person, but I have heard nothing but foul words about her. She did not make many friends during her short stint in this world.

To this day, I know not of what serpent they feared. Luxatia is a land far beyond my circle of control, and if any danger arose there, it was surely conquered before it could reach this side of the continent. I have a suspicion, of course, but it is hardly worth sharing with a morsel like you. Some things are beyond the concerns of ilra like you. 

What is that? You still insist? Have you not pushed me far enough? Are you not imposing upon your host? To shame, sirrah. To shame. Guards, help me chop off this little soul’s head. Do not give me that look, Miphala. Wayward children must be punished. Perhaps it will make him more polite in the future.

Non-dark writing taglist:

@falco-underscore-77, @starlingsnest, @watermeezer, @vampirelover890, @the-archivist-14

@trippingpossum, @sm-writes-chaos, @endless-demon, @seastarblue, @lyraoctaviawrites

@beloveddawn-blog, @aseriesofsmallthings, @kitkins13, @illarian-rambling, @urnumber1star

@thevoiceintheabyss, @cain-e-brookman, @aalinaaaaaa, @kaeru483, @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife

@finickyfelix, @possiblyeldritch, @glassfrogforest, @an-indecisive-nerd, @pastelpinkhobbies

(ask to +/-)

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Summer

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Non-dark writing taglist:

@falco-underscore-77, @starlingsnest, @watermeezer, @vampirelover890, @the-archivist-14

@trippingpossum, @sm-writes-chaos, @endless-demon, @seastarblue, @lyraoctaviawrites

@beloveddawn-blog, @aseriesofsmallthings, @kitkins13, @illarian-rambling, @urnumber1star

@thevoiceintheabyss, @cain-e-brookman, @aalinaaaaaa, @kaeru483, @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife

@finickyfelix, @possiblyeldritch, @glassfrogforest, @an-indecisive-nerd, @pastelpinkhobbies

(ask to +/-)

And of course @beeonaspiderweb who gave me the prompt 'Summer hehehe!' :) Thank you for making me write non-angsty poetry for once

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Summer

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

So... I've been arranging sorting all my OCs into tarot cards, and I wanna be more active on my tumblr so I'm gonna start doing an OC a day thing! Where I post about an OC (according to their tarot I've assigned because I realise that's the first time I've collected all my OCs since I was in my gacha life phase 💀💀💀)

Does an OC a day Tarot sound cool? (yes the minor arcana are included <3)

HELL YEAH!!

HELL YEAH BUT I ALSO WANNA SUGGEST SMT (TELL ME :))

errr. not really... (don't pick this, itll make me sad :( )

Voting ended onJun 2

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

A Straightforward and Simple Task, part 9

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

Wholly against her will, Miphala let out a whoop of joy. “Captain! You- you can see your husband again,” she exclaimed. “It must be you! It must.”

I looked at her, this beautiful young woman with her flax-blond hair in braids and her dark skin translucent in the dim fire of the hut, this warrior with her life stretching in front of her, this girl who could have been a replica of a younger Cefalin, and I knew it could never be me.

“No,” I said. “I am your Captain, and whence the Te arrive, should they prove guilty of sapiophagy, I will order you to report back to His Majesty.”

Miphala gaped. “I refuse,” she hissed, grasping my forearms with her sharp nails. “You have a family to look after, and you are a greater warrior than I could ever be. It would be wasteful for you to cast yourself aside in favour of me.”

I merely shook my head.Her eyes glittered with determination. “Besides, His Majesty might not even forgive me! You know how he feels about me. At least, with you, you could stand a chance. After all, have you not been loyal to the throne all these years?”

Though she was resolute, I was older, wiser and more implacable still. “You will bear a letter saying that I ordered you to return, so none shall blame you for abandoning your course,” I retorted. “Even His Majesty cannot blame you for following my commands.”

Miphala took a deep breath and summoned her last rebuttal. “I don't know how to ride well enough to get home,” she announced. “So there!”

I smiled and shook my head once more. “Forgive me, Lady Jeanne and Lord Marcus, but my subordinate says she does not know how to navigate home on horseback. Could you spare a rider to guide her?”

Marcus gave me an odd look. “I’m no lord, wight. But if that message of yours stood a quarter of a chance at ending this mire, I'd send a thousand of my messengers,” he said firmly.

Jeanne hummed in agreement. “Young Roland wanted to see the world, did he not? Send for him, and we shall see what can be done,” she said, gesturing to one of the mortal farmer-women who stood by the door. The farmer-woman nodded and left.

“What just happened? Are you- Oh, Emperor, kill me. Do not tell me you plan on getting these mortals to bring me home,” Miphala said, exasperated. “I will not abandon you, Captain. And I do not even speak their tongue!”

Eyebrows raised, I met her gaze and held it. After a moment, she looked aside.

“Good,” I said. “Now, you will follow their guide's instructions. I shall draft a small translation guide for you two, and I expect you to not attempt to ‘lose’ or ‘forget’ it, understood? Be a woman, and not a snivelling little boy. Even if your guide happens to be one.”

Miphala gave me a resigned snort. “Yes, Captain,” she said grimly.

Right on time, the farmer-woman returned. Not only did she bring an adolescent boy in riding leathers, but a huntress-team of Te-clan, fifteen hard-faced, scarred women who had not a deop of tact in their bodies. The huntresses had a hauteur to them that I hardly saw outside of high nobles, and it set me on edge at once.

“So, you are the diplomats sent to deal with this… situation?” They obviously were not, but I had to adhere to policy in this situation. The lead huntress spat on the floor and laughed. It was a grim laugh, no pleasantry in it. “So an Imperial finally came sniffing around. Did the worthless man-whore finally deign to notice us?”

Miphala gasped, and I had to rein myself in to avoid doing the same. “I…” How was I supposed to respond to that? In the Emperor's name, I was a soldier, not a damn diplomat! “You insult our ruler,” Miphala snarled, after the moment of shock subsided. “Give me one good reason not to slit your treasonous throat here and now.” Her blade was already drawn, and the huntresses responded in kind. The tension in the air could and would have been cut by a blade, so thick it was.

I took a deep breath. “Forgive my comrade, plains-sisters. She has been on edge lately.” Perhaps pretending that had never happened would work. I gestured for Miphala to sheath her sword, and she did so unwillingly. “Now, we did not come to investigate your people, sisters. We have a different quest. However, these mortals claim offence against you, and we must address that.”

“Offence? What offence could these chattel claim? They have no honour, no worth,” the lead huntress said. “They belong at our feet, begging for our scraps.”

I was at a loss for words. Truly, I was. The plains-spirits had always looked down upon mortals, far more than the mountain-spirits, but this? This was insanity. “Sisters, what happened?”

Non-dark writing taglist:

@falco-underscore-77, @keeping-writing-frosty, @watermeezer, @vampirelover890, @the-archivist-14

@trippingpossum, @sm-writes-chaos, @endless-demon, @seastarblue, @lyraoctaviawrites

@beloveddawn-blog, @aseriesofsmallthings, @kitkins13, @illarian-rambling, @urnumber1star

@thevoiceintheabyss, @cain-e-brookman, @aalinaaaaaa, @kaeru483, @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife

@finickyfelix, @possiblyeldritch, @glassfrogforest, @an-indecisive-nerd, @pastelpinkhobbies

(ask to +/-)

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

Oh okay so I just. gave up here okay cool whatever

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

A Straightforward and Simple Task, part 7

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6

TW: mentions of cannibalism, nothing graphic

A female human was standing in front of the largest hut. Her face was an unholy abomination, skin hanging in limp flaps on her face, crumpled with an age my people did not feel. Old, the mortals called her condition, the years rubbing against a vessel not meant to withstand eternity. She looked like one of the hairless tunnelers that proliferated my mountains.

I shuddered at the thought of my own body collapsing into itself like that, my hips widening and my chest filling with blubber like a cow's udders, my body sprouting a mane beneath my arms and wrinkling until I could no longer see myself under the skin, hair and fat. It was a nightmare come to life, this oldness. How could they face it?

Nonetheless, I met the horror's eyes. “Welcome to Oliarck, spirits. I am Jeanne Smith, headwoman of this town,” she said, her voice as senescent as the rest of her. “Explain your trespass, or we shall be forced to kill you. Our people do not tolerate your invasions.”

“We meant no offence,” I told her flatly. “My companion and I are on a quest in the name of our Lord, the Spirit Emperor. Please, allow us to pass in peace.”

The obscene creature shook her head, jowls shaking like a hound. “So you say, but your people have been hunting in our lands, and we will not stand for it. Do you know what happened to the Te-clan?”

I blinked, sidelined by the non sequitur. “What happened?”

For a moment the monstrosity seemed stunned into silence. “You do not know.” There was an air of confusion to her. “By the dying gods. Ina take us all.” She met my eyes with her rheumy ones. “Lady spirit, they took our children. Your people attacked ours, razed our crops, desecrated our sacred temples. But worst of all, they ate our young.”

“My trade-tongue may be a bit rusty, but I heard you just say that our people ate your offspring?” That had to be an error in translation. No spirit would be so crass as to eat a mortal. Certainly, we were carnivores, but we could never stoop so low as to eat another sapient being. To even imply such was to insult our honour.

The terror gave me a mournful nod. “You do not mishear. Your people, the ones you call Te and Li, have been raiding us. They seek to enslave humanity,” she said. My lower eyelid twitched.

Miphala, sensing my distress, grabbed my arm. “Tis the matter, Captain? You look as though they called your fallen comrades dishonourable,” she murmured.

“They have,” I replied. “Their headswoman claims that the Te and Li clans have killed and eaten their children.”Miphala let out a choking noise. “Those… Those c’ckilkii dare lower us with such ridiculous claims? In the Emperor's name, we should slay them all. Our sisters in the plains must not be slandered so!”

I looked around us, at the bony, haggard townspeople and the desperate protectiveness over their children, and found I could not summon the same indignation. There was something odd about them, something I had finally placed. I had seen healthy humans before. These did not look even remotely like them. “I suspect they tell the truth, sword-sister,” I whispered. “I think… I think our people have fallen to new lows.”

Miphala shook her head resolutely. “This cannot be. I have known Te-clan. They are the most prideful creatures I have known. None could have stooped to this.”

There were too few children, I realised grimly. Now that I looked about, I came to find that for every two dozen adults, there was but one child. And the crops they were desperately seeding, when it was already harvest time, the magic they scattered in the hope of a miracle. Their clothes, so old and ragged. What I had taken to be signs of their lesserness were warnings of something far worse. “Emperor save us,” I whispered. “What do we do?”

Part 8

Non-dark writing taglist:

@falco-underscore-77, @keeping-writing-frosty, @watermeezer, @vampirelover890, @the-archivist-14

@trippingpossum, @sm-writes-chaos, @endless-demon, @seastarblue, @lyraoctaviawrites

@beloveddawn-blog, @aseriesofsmallthings, @kitkins13, @illarian-rambling, @urnumber1star

@thevoiceintheabyss, @cain-e-brookman, @aalinaaaaaa, @kaeru483, @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife

@finickyfelix, @possiblyeldritch, @glassfrogforest, @an-indecisive-nerd, @pastelpinkhobbies

(ask to +/-)

[leahnardo-da-veggie]

DID I NEVER FINISH POSTING THIS????? okay I think I need to fix that