lighten up

stumbling through life, sometimes I do okay.

[learningtolightenup]

I wana be your drunk text romance, next morning nonsense, quick call before bed.

Cuberbully Mom Club- Drunk Text Romance

[learningtolightenup]

Hurt people hurt people.

[learningtolightenup]

I don't chase boys, I chase demons.

Demons don't want me.

Demons want my flesh.

Demons crave the sound of flesh ripping and tearing, fighting and pleading

Demons don't want me.

Demons want my sanity.

That feeling of slowing controlling, stealing, taking over, forcing my thoughts into it's own and never letting go.

Demons don't want me.

Demons want my life.

They want it to leave me, but not by the hands of anyone. It must be their own dirty hands ripping the one living part of my body from inside me as my broken flesh and decaying mind fall away.

You steal the last of me.

No more pleading.

No more torment.

On to the next.

[learningtolightenup]

At least if I'm lost, I can always find beauty.

[asoftwrongness]

Never let an artist paint you nice and pretty in their head

[learningtolightenup]

Where did my happiness go?

[learningtolightenup]

Fuck

I shouldn't be awake

It's hard to sleep when all you've wanted to do for hours is vent

All you've wanted for days is some form of affection

And all you've craved for months is the feeling of fucking being cared for

I would love to be put first someday

Sadly, everyone has their own issues

Always understandably prioritized in front of mine

[learningtolightenup]

small boys

In your world you live alone

You live like you are the only person

The only one, out of everyone

You matter

Your mental health matters

Your. Dreams. Matter.

Well-

Maybe they dont

Maybe her dreams matter

Maybe you aren't in her dreams anymore and maybe that feels better than she could have ever imagined

I know you want love

Attention?

Affection?

Attraction?

Sexual interaction?

Something shared

Something beautiful

You want it so much and so fucking bad

I know, it hurts

Well maybe you need to learn

You live in an entire fucking world

You're not the only selfish boy

Youre not the only one who cried "love"

You can't love with a heart strung so tight

Not when you are a fucking galaxy of one revolving around what?

You dont even know

She is selfless

She is love

She gave you a taste

You needed more.

Someone, less of a whore.

Well you know what selfish, self centered, self loathing boy

She needed more

She needed less of a whore

Chance after wasted second third fourth forever chance

I guess her patience is over

Finally

At last

Did you have the last laugh?

[learningtolightenup]

She hopes I’m cursed forever ° ° ° Classic

[learningtolightenup]

✌🖕

[learningtolightenup]

I won't fuck with you, if you don't fuck with me Now I'm a bitter fuck. They call me a bitter fuck, because of you. Now I don't give a fuck. Now I don't give a fuck, because of you.

Bitter Fuck- Joji from In Tongues 

[learningtolightenup]

♡ it's safe to say I wont be chasing you again ♡ ♡ life is better now ♡

[learningtolightenup]

¿probably nothing, or maybe a lot of heartache?

What will ever come of this though?

[learningtolightenup]

balance

I'm proud of myself.

We could all be doing a little bit better

Always

But I'm doing okay

And that makes me proud

💖💘💖💘💖

[learningtolightenup]

Do I really see heaven in your eyes?

Moody's Mood For Lovers- Amy Winehouse

[chilidogg]

Don’t forget to change with the seasons

[learningtolightenup]

Hatred is my worst enemy

How did it turn out like this?

You were always my friend

But I can't lie, I've hated you a lot.

I've hated you for disregarding the deepest parts of me

I've hated you for the love we admittedly never shared

I've hated you for continuing the patterns you know exist in my life.

I never imagined hating someone for loving me

But I did. I do.

I hate you for loving me in every wrong way.

I hate you for leaving me broken and expecting me to pick up my own pieces, just to give them back to you.

I hate you for thinking you deserve me

And more than anything I hate you for not understanding how badly you ruined everything.

You will always blame me, but I hate you.

So maybe that's why I don't feel so bad for breaking you.