My Brain Is A Mixtape

21/ 80s Rock, Glam Rock, Music Polls, Cute Cat Content

[thehottestbandtournamentredux]

Round Four: Hottest 80s Musician Tournament

Who do you find more attractive?

John Taylor

Alan Wilder

Voting ended onAug 5

Propaganda is welcomed and encouraged!!

Pics used in previous rounds:

[leatherandrain]

(Nick, John, and Simon are out on a boat, trying to get a photo of a lake monster)

Nick: There’s no way we’re gonna miss this. Okay, everybody, let’s test our cameras out.

Simon: (Takes a picture of himself, the flash startling him) AHH! Dude! (Tosses camera overboard)

Nick: You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have sixteen.

(A seagull flies over John’s head)

John: AHH! Bird! (Throws camera into the water)

Nick: Fifteen. Okay, guys, I repeat, don’t lose your cameras.

Simon: Wait, lose the cameras?

Nick: DON’T!

Simon: Dude, I just threw two away.

Nick: THIRTEEN! All right, we still have thirteen camera- (Accidentally crushes camera with his fist) Twelve. We have twelve cameras.

John: So what’s the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?

Nick: No! No. Okay. You’ll be lookout, Simon can work the steering wheel, and I’ll be captain.

John: What?! Why do you get to be captain? What about JT, huh? (Chanting) JT! JT! JT! JT!

Nick: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

John: What about co-captain?

Nick: There’s no such thing as co-captain.

John: Uh, whoops. (Tosses a camera into the water)

Nick: Okay, fine! You can be co-captain.

Simon: Can I be associate co-captain?

John: As co-captain, I authorize that request.

Nick: Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this. (Gestures to a barrel of fish food)

Simon: Permission to taste some?

Nick: Granted.

John: Permission co-granted.

Simon: Permission associate co-granted. (Licks a piece of fish food before gagging and coughing)

(Nick and John laugh hysterically)

Simon: Dude, I don’t know what I expected that to taste like.

[thehottestbandtournamentredux]

Round Three: Hottest 80s Musician Tournament

Who do you find more attractive?

Dave Gahan

Andy Taylor

Voting ended onJul 28

Propaganda is welcomed and encouraged!!

Pics used in previous rounds:

[leatherandrain]

(John is in his room singing “Low/Apple Bottom Jeans”)

John, singing: Shawty had them apple bottom jeeeanns, boots with the fuuurrr, got the whole club looking at herrr, she hit the-

(Nick bursts in)

Nick: JOHN TAYLOR! Did you sleep with our GODDAMN LEAD SINGER?

John: What?

Nick: DID YOU SLEEP WITH OUR SINGER?!

John: With Simon?

Nick: With Simon.

John: NO I DIDN’T!

Nick: YES YOU DID!!

John: No, I didn’t, Nick!

Nick, chuckling: You’re a little slut.

(They argue loudly and incoherently and Nick smacks John across the face)

John: OW! NICK!

Nick: I’M TELLING YOU!

John: He’s so hot, I couldn’t resist!

Nick: You’re out of the band.

John: What?

Nick: YOU’RE OUT OF THE BAND!!

Nick: PACK ALL YOUR SHIT!!

John: (Screams incoherently and starts crying)

Nick: PACK ALL YOUR SHIT!! YOU’RE OUT!! OUT!!

(Nick leaves and slams the door shut, and John sadly goes back to singing/rapping)

[dr3amer]

R.I.P. Bonnie Tyler

[simplyvintagexx]

My heart is absolutely broken 🌹

Rest In Peace Bonnie Tyler, you will be so missed ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[thehottestbandtournamentredux]

Round Two: Hottest 80s Musician Tournament

Who do you find more attractive?

Andy Taylor

David Byrne

Voting ended onJul 15

Propaganda is welcomed and encouraged!!

Pics used in round 1:

[thehottestbandtournamentredux]

Round One: Hottest 80s Musician Tournament

Who do you find more attractive?

Anthony Kiedis

Simon Le Bon

Voting ended onJul 4

Propaganda is welcomed and encouraged!!

[leatherandrain]

(Tracey walks outside and sees the Taylor trio up on the roof with a shopping cart)

Tracey: Andy, what are you- what are you boys doing up there? Get off the roof!

Andy, sitting in the shopping cart: Go back in the house, Tracey. We're being Jackass. Okay, ready?

Simon, holding a video camera: All right, we're rolling!

Andy: I'm Andy Taylor, and this is “Shopping Cart... Roof... R-roof… Roof Sho... Roof Shopping Cart... Guys”. Okay, go!

(John and Roger push the cart off the roof, which results in Andy getting horribly injured)

Andy: Ow... ow... ow...

(Horrified groans)

Roger: Oh, my god!

John: Oh, my god, are you okay?!

Andy: I don't know... I don't know... Wha- what does it look like? Wha- what do I do? Wh- ahh!Ahh! What is that? What is- I feel something!

Simon: It's your spine, dude. It got, like, yanked up a bunch of notches!

Andy: I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm sca-(Throws up on Nick)

Nick: AHH! AHH! Oh, God!

Andy: Does this get fixed with ice or heat?

Roger: Ice now, heat later.

[leatherandrain]

Nick: What’s your blood type?

Simon: How would I know?

Nick: How would you not?!

Simon: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner? Discoverer of blood groups?

Nick: You don’t know your own blood type, but you know who discovered them?

[john-taylor-daily]

John Taylor in Sing Blue Silver / Part 1

[sebissuffering]

Super extra mega happy bday to Johnnyyyyyy!!!

Yes, with pictures of baby John cause am always thinking about this specific little John snd it makes me feel paternal towards him.

[starrybluez]

Happy 66th Birthday John Taylor 🎸🎂❤️

[skintyfry]

Birthday boy, John Taylor!! ⋆‧°𓏲ּ𝄢 ˚˖𓍢ִ໋❀

[leatherandrain]

John: At least I broke up with Simon on MY terms. It was totally empowering!

(Flashback to Simon covered in spaghetti and holding an ice pack against a black eye while John is kicking and crying on the floor)

John: You stupid jerkface! (Ranting unintelligibly)

Simon: Look, I’m sorry- AUGH!

(Simon gets cut off by John kicking him in the crotch)

(Flashback ends)

John: At least I still have my… pride…

John: (Sniffles and sobs loudly)

[leatherandrain]

Nick: We’re going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo.

Nick, to Andy and Roger: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms.

Nick, to John: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement.

John: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the… dubious looking device?

Nick: Because only Velma would say “dubious device”. John gets the spooky fridge in the basement.

Roger: And what does that make you, Fred?

Nick: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

[leatherandrain]

John: (Kisses Simon)

Simon: !

John: …Did you steal my chapstick?

Simon: Did- did I what?

John: My chapstick, Simon. Did you steal it?

Nick: John, for the love of God, not this again.

Simon: I- no, I didn’t steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

John: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn’t go bad. It’s been discontinued for two years. No one uses the same chapstick for two years. So unless you’ve been eating a whole fuck ton of something that’s flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

Simon: Chocolate and popcorn?

Nick: Why do you think it got discontinued?