#source: archer

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick: What's your blood type?

Tim: How would I know?

Dick: How would you not?

Tim: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?

Dick: You don't know your own blood type, but you know who discovered them?

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Yelena: Please tell me that's a smoke grenade.

Bob: Okay.

Yelena:

Bob: ... It's not, though.

[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Sirius: There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo *gestures at himself* all this.

[emmikay]

Hayden Pike: Rozanov, you got a second?

Ilya Rozanov: I really doubt it.

Hayden Pike: It’s about Shane.

Ilya Rozanov: Then yes, I have ENTIRE MINUTES!

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune: *Kneeling over a bomb* Alright which one of these Wi-

Nora: Blue and Yellow.

Jaune: The B- YOu wanna look at it for more than half a second!?

Nora: I Wired the damn thing, Ass!

Jaune: Well I didn't know that, Ass!

*Snip*

Jaune: Okay-

Nora: Oh My God.

Jaune: What?

Nora: I lied, I didn't wire that.

Jaune: WHAT?!?

Nora: Ba Bum-Bum Zing~

Jaune: NORA!

Nora: What? Who'd be hurt if it went off?

Jaune: I WOULD?!?

Nora: You'd be Hurting, yes, but uninjured. Unless that laptop-sized POS turned out to be a Nuke.

Jaune: I still would prefer to NOT be blown up!

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

James: What’s your blood type? Remus: How should I know? James: How do you not know?! Remus: Who am I? Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of the blood groups? James: So, you don’t know your blood type, but you know who discovered them?

[incorrectquoteshungergames]

Peeta, to Gale: I’ve swallowed about as much as I can from you!

Haymitch: … phrasing.

[wyvernslovecake]

Riddle: Look, Floyd and I haven't discussed how or if we're going to break the news that we're... courting, so absolutely no one can know about thi-Cater, you loquacious fiend! 😠

Cater: *looking up from where he's texting* What, nothing!

Riddle: Nothing my foot! You're already gossiping about our-

Cater: I'm not! I swear! This is about-

Kalim: Riddle and Floyd are going steady? Aw yeah! Congrats, man! 😁I always knew you two would make a cute couple!

Riddle: Cater!

Cater: What?

Riddle: What is wrong with you?! 😠

Cater: I can't help it, it's like a disease!

Cater:

Cater: *resumes texting*

Riddle: CATER!! 😡

Cater: Do you not know what 'disease' means??

Riddle: I COME FROM A FAMILY OF MEDICAL MAGES, HOW COULD I POSSIBLY NOT?!