2022 Year-in review but 6 days early
2022… that was certainly a year.
Truthfully, life has been a blur for me for a good while, so specific memories of 2022 are scattered and distant for me. Regardless, I wanted to go ahead and write up this post, about what I recall doing this year, and what I'm "proud" of. I have nothing better to do this day, and wanted to do something, so why not this?
The start of 2022 is not one I remember too well, but I do recall around early in the year, we finally started working on getting me my State ID, and Debit Card. Without these, I was more or less stuck at home, not able to get a job, or do online purchases without Gift Cards. Now that I had these, I was able to go job hunting, and in early August of the year, I landed a job, which I still maintain, now. The job has been filled with a lot of ups and downs, but overall, I'm grateful to have what I do as my first job, and not another job which would probably be rougher, and pay less. The freedom to finally buy things for myself, and to be able to help the family out with rent, has been nice, as I feel less like a useless nobody who does nothing but waste space, and bother people.
On the note of rent, after a long time of talking and planning, my brother's friend has finally moved into our house, taking the room my sister once had as her own. This friend didn't have the best of lives growing up, and long since wanted to get away from his miserable living conditions. Truthfully, I'm not sure if we're better or worse than his previous living arrangements, since he minds his own business, and doesn't talk to us much, aside from my brother, or asking one of us questions, but still, I hope he's at least a bit happier here, than where he was at, before. Hopefully he'll soon have a job and be able to help with paying the rent, too, but, only time shall tell when exactly what happens, I suppose.
One of the sad things that I learned of this year, is my father finally going to the doctors, only to find out he has some kind of gunk in his lungs. We believe it's to be asbestos, from his time at the Navy, which was recently further evidenced by this briefcase he's kept, where letters from his time during the Navy, warned of asbestos being in stuff like the water. Appointments will be coming soon to properly confirm what is going on. It's rather unfortunate, since I had been well aware of my father not doing as well, coughing a lot more, and having to leave work only. But one bright side to this is if it's found that being in the Navy is responsible for his current well-being, he can get disability funds, and retire from work, meaning he can rest easy during his final days, get medication to make himself to a better spot, and possibly even give us more money than we're currently making. I'm hoping that is able to go through in the end, but if it's not able to, I'll still be there for my Dad, and support him, regardless.
To go back to myself, well… I have a Yamaha PSR-E403, now, I guess? This musical keyboard is the same model that Club Penguin composer, Chris Hendricks, used in his earlier original compositions. It has a sound set that I am fond of, and wanted to own for myself. Above all else, I'm hoping I can use this keyboard to finally learn music, which is something I feel somewhat obligated to learn. Due to my status as project leader for the Church of Kondo, many assumed I was already a musician, when I wasn't. I'm hoping with this keyboard, I'll finally be able to learn music, and live up to some of what folk seem to expect out of me. Not that my friends have any issue with me not being a musician, but still…
Though on the note of that, to talk about something, I'd say my general confidence, and self view of myself has elevated, for the most part. There are still some doubts on my end, but overall, I feel less bad for being who I am. There's nothing wrong with having what may seem like unimpressive interests, or stuff like that, and to put myself down for not living up to high standards that none of my friends expect me to live up to, is just stupid. My friends have assured me time and time again that they're fine with me for who I am, and that I'm not a burden. It's helped me a lot, especially for feeling more comfortable with an interest of mine that I was afraid of for a long while, but have grown to accept it, since I have friends who are fine with it, and don't see me as weird for it.
What else is there… Well, I finally got a Fat PS2. Modded with a SATA adapter, and Noctua fan mod. Though in the process, the Disc drive seems to no longer work… I reckon a ribbon got disconnected, or torn, but I've been too afraid to open up the console again to check, since I did both mods kinda blind, which resulted in a lot of frustration, and confusion. I really should have just waited on my brother…
Though on a less frustrating note is my Windows 98 machine and N64! For the Windows 98 machine, I've been able to get a Sound Blaster AWE32 (CT3980) to replace the old Sound Blaster 16, and a Voodoo 3 2000 PCI to replace the old Voodoo 2/ATI Mach 64 combo I was using, which has boosted the sound capabilities of the machine, and got rid of the crashing issues I was having with the Voodoo 2 I had. I also upgraded the hard drive to use an SD2IDE adapter, and the floppy drive to use a GOTEK USB Floppy Emulator. For the N64, I got it out of storage, and got a good condition old controller for it (Blue), an Everdrive 64 X7, expansion pack, FRAM Modded Memory Card, and No Batter Modded Rumble Pack. I haven't had too much motivation or time to play it for the time being, but I've overall enjoyed my time with it, so far. (That analog stick is weird as hell, though. Hadn't used one in years, so it's still taking some getting used to, to use the N64 stick)
I can't think of much else to type, in terms of significant events from this year. There is one more big upgrade I hope to do before year end, but I'll post about that later. For now, I guess I'll move onto what I hope to achieve in the coming year.
For the new year, I'm hoping to generally just be a less annoying person to talk with? Not in the conventional sense, since most folk generally enjoy talking with me, but more so in the sense of… I need to chill out, and stop worrying so much. After I send messages, whether it be the same day, or a few days later, I get worried often that what I said was weird, offensive, or other things like that, when it most often isn't. For this coming year, I'm going to try hard to avoid these kinds of worry messages that just clog up DMs, and perhaps come off as annoying. I can trust my friends, so there's no real need for me to continue sending such messages, when I already have been told/know they have no issue with anything I say, or talk about.
On a similar note, I'm also going to just further embrace myself for who I am, and question myself, less. Some specific friends this year have helped me come to terms with who I am with something specific, and it's made me feel a lot more comfortable in myself, making me realize there's nothing wrong with what it is I like. Plus, having friends who have the same interest also helps in making feel less alien, and weird.
The coming year, I'll probably look for another job, too. While this current one works, it would be nice to have a higher pay rate, and one that has more… stable staff, I suppose. Dealing with people quitting all of the time, or not showing up, isn't really ideal, in the slightest, and just adds on a lot of stress.
Well, I think that might actually be all I have to say here. I wrote about way more than I expected, and it's reminded me that perhaps my life isn't as dull and boring as I figured it was, especially if there's this much to cover. I look forward to 2023, and hope it to be a better year than this one. Here's to hoping it is, and that the Mario Movie is ok, at the very least!