Update from the last 5.3 years.
So it’s been a while. Where can I even begin... Let’s start talking about the major highlights from 2017 - present day.
2017: new school but same boring life
Transitioning from a Co-ed school to an All-girls school was not that interesting. It’s basically the same thing but with no guys. So much time has passed that I don’t even remember what happened here... Just me trying to make new friends and focusing on school mostly. Nothing too complicated. Boring high school life as always. However, the next year was more of a roller coaster, keep reading :)
Now this year was a little bit more interesting. I don’t think I ever mentioned this publicly to anyone before, however, this was the year were things got really complicated between me and my ex. Just a bit of a background information. I dated this guy back in year 9 (2015), lets call him Marty. We never really had that typical couple shit that everyone does (holding hands, kissing, hugging etc..) think the closest we ever had an intimate contact was hugging every after school. Anyways, I guess he didn’t really like how I wasn’t too intimate with him so he broke up with me 6 months later. He tried covering it up by saying that he wanted to be “just friends”. After we broke up, we still liked each other but Marty was a bit more...open I guess? Basically he would like other girls (which was super obvious) trying to show off and shit, all while HE KNEW that I still had a crush on him. This was probably one of the reasons why I wanted to move schools just to get away from him. Every single thing that he did was too much for me. That’s the reason why I moved to a new school in 2017. Now back to this year. There’s this one time he wanted to talk to me in person, I was a bit sus but I went anyway. He ended up revealing that he still liked me, and obviously, being the dumb bitch that I was, I told him that I still like him too. Here’s the problem, he told me that “we are dating, but we are still open to other people”. Now, this is where I find out that ‘open relationships’ were a thing, since I didn’t really understand the concept of it, I agreed to having open relationship; also because I didn’t want to lose him again so I was basically a ‘yes girl’ throughout the year while emotionally dying inside. This was the time were I had my first kiss- op- . Anywayyss, as you could probably tell, things didn’t work out. Because around the end of the year, he told me - THROUGH SNAPCHAT (back when it was a thing lol) - that he has a crush on this girl in his school and had the FUCKING AUDACITY to tell me to “mOve ON aNd Be hAppiEr”, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT HE STILL LIKED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE, GIVING ME FALSE HOPE. Anyway, aside from this Marty drama that I had going on. I also started working for the first time at a supermarket store. It was really intimidating at first since it was my first ever job. However, I knew that it was going to be chill because my mum (who also works there) was the one who got me in, ANNDDD she’s practically friends with everyone in the store. I think that’s it for 2018. MOVING ON --
2019: best year I had in a while
So in my new school, year 13s have the privilege to have study or free periods and have the opportunity to go outside the school during lunch times. We were also lucky to go home early if we had free period on the last period. So that was fun. To be honest, those were probably the main reasons why I really liked my last year of high school. Not only that but I hung out with the coolest and fun-est people with little drama. Everything was wholesome. I guess the only stress I ever had was school work. Looking back at it now, it wasn’t really the most stressful thing in the world. Oh how times have changed. I also really enjoyed 2019 because it was the last year of life without restrictions, in other words, it was the year before the pandemic. I guess that was the perfect time to leave high school. Me and Marty are still having an on and off relationship, I told you it was super duper complicated between us. Also, around November or December of 2019, we’ve been getting new employees at my work, one of them was this guy, let’s call him Jason. At the time, he was going to be my new closing partner every Monday nights. I want you all to remember Jason, he’s going to be very important in the next few years...
2020: miss Rona enters the chat.
Now we all know what happened here. Someone thought it was a good idea to eat a bat and spread their germs in the entire country, and eventually the whole world. Some of us call her Miss Rona here in NZ, Kevin Hart calls it the VID, and some people even think that she doesn’t exist. Believe what you want to believe, but anyway...Rona was the reason why I had to experience the wondrous world of university life in a computer screen, well most of it anyway. I still had an in-person tour of my uni and some of my lectures and tests were also held on days between wave 1 and 2. I finally had the guts to end my complicated relationship with Marty, I realised that he was always the one to come back to me, which creates a repeated, never-ending cycle of complicated-ness. I actually didn’t really tell him at first that I didn’t like him anymore. I just kinda lived my life without really talking to him, he would still try to engage a conversation that leads to something else. Meanwhile, I unexpectedly started to develop feelings for this other guy, so when Marty hit me up one more time, I told him the truth so he could stop. Oh yeah...remember Jason? the guy who recently got hired to be my closing partner? Yeah, he was the guy that I had a crush on. Honestly, the first time I met him at 2019, I just thought he was a really nice guy, super chill, very reserved and shy at times but really fun to talk to. I never once felt interested in him. Until mid 2020, for some reason it just clicked to me, how super sweet and how much of a gentleman Jason was. He would always offer me food, he would always help me out at work without having to ask him, he would open the door for me every after shift. I honestly started to admire him the more we talked about the most random things. I found that we have a lot in common. Both middle child, both filipino, both went to same school (my high school was separated to all-girls and all-boys), both school/career focused, both really like video games, both of our mums work at the same store, etc... One day, I went to work feeling extremely nervous and anxious, I find myself shy and completely frozen every time I’m around him, that’s how I know I was really into him. I spent the rest of the year secretly blushing over him, and of course, I cannot contain myself so I told few of my close friends and this one guy at work who I really trusted (honestly one of my work best friends, let’s call him Dean). They gave me really good advice, on what to do or how to get closer to him and all that stuff. Oh another funny thing HAHA, our workplace had a secret santa and it just so happens that I picked his name. Like honestly what are the OODDSSS. I ended up giving him a gadget pen and a leather wallet. He was really happy according to Dean. Anyway, I guess you could say this is the first stage of liking somebody, usually the fun and exciting stage. BUT WAIT, THERE”S MORE! Brace yourselves people for 2021 because it is about to get more interesting...
2021: big oof and big sad
I should mention that there was this other guy (let’s call him Chris) who also started working the same time as Jason. These two are practically besties, they knew each other since intermediate/middle school and has the funniest and sweetest bromance you’ll ever see. Y’all should also know that Chris is the exact opposite to Jason. Chris is loud, out-going, social, annoying but funny, and a very open guy. One time I told him that this guy who had a crush on me back in intermediate turned out to be gay few years later. Chris somehow twisted my words and jokingly told other people from work that I hooked up with a gay dude. No one really took him seriously since everyone knows he’s always trying to be funny, he also enjoys teasing other people to get a reaction. Anyways, I should also mention that I’m the worst at keeping my shit together when it comes to crushes, I can keep secrets for others, but I cannot keep my own secrets, especially if it’s about Jason. You can only imagine what it’s like to work with both Chris and Jason. Remember when I said he likes to tease people? Well, there’s this one time I worked with both of the guys, I was closing with Jason and Chris was working till 9pm. When Chris left, me and Jason decided to have a bit of fun since we basically finished cleaning up. We found these soy sauce packets that you usually get with sushi, Jason thought it would be funny if we drink these packets, so we did...don’t even ask why we did it, but it was really funny. I told you guys this story because it’s going to be relevant later on. Anyways, I was working again on the next day, only with Chris this time. Remember when I said I was terrible at keeping my own secrets especially if it’s about Jason? well, because of what happen last night, I felt really giddy and happy so I decided to tell the whole story. Chris started to feel sus of me and began to tease me saying “oooh sounds like Jason is hitting on you ooohh” THEN MY DUMBASS COULDN’T KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND I STARTED SMILING LIKE A BITCH. As you can probably imagine, Chris is not stupid, and he definitely knows that I have a crush on Jason, so UP UNTIL NOW Chris is still teasing me with Jason. I guess that was an L for me. What’s even worse is that he also started to tease Jason because of me. Honestly I feel like sometimes I just need to shut up and control myself. Anyways, a month went by, and I was considering to tell Jason the truth. After talking to Dean and my friends, we thought that telling Jason would be the best choice. Also since I was planning on resigning at the end of the month before my birthday, I feel like it would be reasonable to tell him. At the time, I didn’t know if I would see him again, we only ever talked at work and sometimes through texting. And so I told him, his reaction was pretty neutral. Sadly he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but he was still keen to hang out some time. A week after, my co-workers decided to have a get together dinner just before I resign. Jason actually came along (he never goes to work dinners at all, so we were all really surprised that he came). Here’s another surprising part, he was talking to me THE ENTIRE TIME. You would think that things would be awkward between us after my confession, but for some reason, we got closer?! Literally few weeks after the dinner, me and Jason actually met up in town to hang out, JUST US. He actually agreed to hang out??? even after the most awkward confession he ever experienced in his life?! We actually started talking through discord more often than before. Anyways, moving on to the big sad part of 2021. Exactly on June 23rd, my grandmother, who I haven’t seen in-person for almost 10 years, passed away due to Miss Rona. It was super difficult to cope with as it was my first ever grieving experience, I never had anyone in my family who had passed away, at least I wasn’t old enough back then to even understand death. The first half of 2021 was a lot of butterflies but the last half of 2021 was pretty depressing. I don’t really like to talk about 2021 to others, since it was one of my worst years. Other than my grandma’s death, there’s nothing much happening in this year. It’s just the same old online university life. Oh and I also made new uni friends, they are really nice and fun to hang out with. Very grateful to even meet these people. Okay NOW moving on to present day.
Today is Sunday May 15, 2022. Let’s recap what happened the last 4 months. January was rather exciting, me and my family went to Rotorua for 3 days, it was fun and sweaty (it was still peak summer in NZ). February was the start of Uni again, this year is actually my last year. Forgot to tell you initially that I’m actually studying nursing for 3 years, and this year is my third year. So yeah I did more uni work, same boring shit. HERE’S THE THING THOUGH. On February 22nd, 2022 (Notice the date? 02/22/22) some people actually said that something lucky is going to be happening on this day because of the date, I never really believed in that bs. But coincidentally, on that day, I started talking to Jason again over discord. and get this, we ended up talking for 5 HOURS! until 1am! It started off with just talking about his uni experience and his course, then my nursing course, then work, then eventually we ended up having a really deep and personal conversation about our depressing experiences in life, family issues and even relationship issues. But like honestly though, isn’t it crazy that we started talking again for 5 hours on the 02/22/22?? I thought it was pretty cool. Anyways, March came along and it was my BIRTHDAY! I turned 20 this year, didn’t really do anything serious because of Miss Rona (lockdown and everything) so I just had a feast with my family. Nothing grand. I was still talking to Jason almost everyday on discord for an hour or two, always the same time around 10 or 11pm. Now April was a bit more interesting. Me and few of my family friends went to New Plymouth for 3 days to hike. It was super tiring and it made my legs hurt for DAYS! But that’s not the interesting part, since it was Easter week, I was on break, so I had more time to play this souls game called Elden Ring, surprisingly I really liked the game even though I was terrible at it. A lot of people from my old workplace including Chris, Jason and...this other guy that has worked there for a long time (let’s call him Ivan) who also knows about my feelings for Jason aside from Dean. In fact, Ivan was actually the guy who told me to get Elden Ring. Anyways, during my uni break, I nervously asked Jason in discord if we could play Elden Ring together, HE SURPRISINGLY SAID YES. And next thing you know, we were playing together. Four times now. Which was an improvement if you ask me. It was super fun playing with him. I really think we are closer than ever before. But that’s not it though. Around the end of April, my old manager from my old workplace, asked if I could come back to work temporarily just to help out. I said sure. So I started working for only 3 days. I got to work with Chris again, who is still teasing me with Jason. He was also very surprised that I play Elden Ring with him. And from there, I made a decision to also tell Chris the truth about Jason, since he was already sus from the start, I feel like it won’t make a difference despite him being close friends with Jason. Plus, Chris is already teasing me with Jason anyway, so he definitely knows. Sure enough, I was right. I told Chris about my feelings for Jason and he said “I’m not surprised, even though you didn’t tell me it’s still super obvious”. Chris promised he won’t tell but he would still tease him anyway because he was already doing that even before I told him the truth. Now we are on present day. Sunday May 15th, 2022, I was actually supposed to be doing my e-portfolio for my nursing child placement, but instead I got side tracked and randomly remembered that I had a Tumblr account that I haven’t updated for YEARS.
If you’re still here and actually stayed to read the entire thing, THANK YOU for reading my stories I guess. You would’ve probably noticed a few grammatical errors here and there, I got to admit my English is not very good. But I hope that you understand this super long post about the past 5.3 years of my life.
To anyone who still uses Tumblr, I hope you have a good day :)
