Also, while I’m in a writing mood, I’m going to talk about my baby. He’s three and a half months old now. He’s absurdly, wildly, ridiculously, over-the-top cute. He is so soft and cuddly, and his skin is the best thing I have ever felt. I recognize that he is literally bio-engineered to be the cutest thing I, personally, could possibly see, but it is still so overwhelming sometimes.
There are so many years to go before we will really know him. There is not a ton to go on now, but this is what we do know:
-He prefers to stay in motion
-He really, really, really likes watching cars
-He really, really really hates riding in cars (or anything else that prevents him from moving around).
-He is interested in words and is picking up on conversational rhythms. We work on it during the day. I narrate what I’m doing and ask him questions. He realizes it’s his turn and babbles and laughs in delight when he gets the timing right. I love thinking about how he thinks I’m just babbling at him, and that all the world is full of people just taking turns making fun sounds at one another for the hell of it, but always sticking to the back and forth rhythm.
-He cannot stand pee in his diaper. Right on, buddy.
-He’s a good eater, and while his only food is boob milk, he observes people eating with great intensity. I sometimes see him practicing chewing.
-He loves big kids, and the little girl I nanny for has his endless attention.
-He wants to look at the TV. Two more years, mon petit boo!
-He likes his one furry blanket that’s not even the nicest furry blanket and sheds everywhere but god damn it it’s his favorite
-He has a freakishly strong neck
-He would prefer to be on an endless walk
-He has a surprisingly long attention span for books
-He’s very against his parents getting any sleep. Sometimes he slips up and gives us a 6-7 hours (maybe 5 times since being born), but mostly he likes to get in as much “snuggling with mom and gently sucking away her sanity bc she never ever gets to sleep” time as possible
Heh I’m kidding on that last one. It’s nowhere near as bad as I thought it’d be. I mean, he wakes up that much, but it doesn’t bother me quite like I thought it would. Sleeping had become so hard for me anyway. It’s nice to get baby snuggles in the night, as long as he goes back down easily.
That’s another thing: breastfeeding. Who knew it’s awesome?? I had read so much about how it goes so wrong for everyone all the time. My Mom couldn’t do it, etc. etc. Yeah, it just worked perfectly for me, and it’s awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I read EVERYTHING and even went did an extra lactation consultant visit after he was born, just to be super sure. But yeah, it’s the best and I hope everyone who has a baby gets to do it. The bonding is amazing, and then you always have an excuse to take your baby back, especially in those first few weeks when you kind of feel like everyone is just there to steal all your happy baby time.
We are going back to our home town soon for the first time as a family, and I am dreading it. The plane ride is going to be miserable (see: Everett hates confined spaces), and I know I’m a spoiled brat for saying this, but just once I’d like to go home and not have it be a whole...production. Then again, I’m incredibly grateful the grandmas are making it possible for us to see everyone without us having to go all over the place (see: Everett hates cars). I am not a party-thrower and they are going way above and beyond. It’s just that every time we’ve gone home since we moved, our home visits are these crazy whirlwinds surrounding huge events centered around our presence. I just want to chill at our old brewery, maybe sit around the fire in Andy’s backyard, have my mom make me a sandwich...you know, normal stuff. And if I did see people, it’d be nice if it could be intimate instead of one quick interaction after another, always with the nagging sense of guilt that I’m not being/giving enough to this person who may have driven hours just to be in a room of 60 people that happens to have me in it. It’s a lot of pressure and frankly I’m paranoid people will start to think I'm the one who thinks we are worth the fuss (see: we aren’t).
I guess my point is I wish I could have the time to go back and see everyone I want to see, take our time, have some real conversations, let people get to really meet Everett. But it’s absolutely my fault that our moms have to go through all this to make sure people get to see us: I can’t stand leaving Portland for more than a few days when the tradeoff is Chicago. It just feels like the opposite of a vacation, but we have to use vacation days and spend a ton of money to get there. So on the one hand, I need to go more regularly/for longer periods of time to make each time suck less. On the other hand, that’s expensive and who has that kind of vacation time and also FUCK THAT why would I want to deal with all that when I live in the best place on Earth?
Anyway. I’ve been rambling long enough. Everett is awesome. Parenting is great. And I don’t say that to be braggy or something, that’s literally me just trying to share my truth and make sure that once in a while, people get to hear a positive narrative. We are out here, I swear.
I’ll try to update more often...