Lee Jihoon’s Girl

I’m slowwwwwlllyyy writing and 26

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Hello it’s leejihoonownsmyheart, ‘99 liner brie! The slowest, least respondent, and tiredest woozidan writer on tumblr!

24 Sagittarius Linguist

she/they/he ENFP more about me

Best Hits The Group Chat Masterlist

My lovely anons:

N Anon/Mysterious N, My Spouse 🥺, 🥰 Anon, 🍌 Anon, Nynm Anon, Clingy Anon, jiyoungiejae, pinkfluffyblossoms, 💎 💎 💎 anon, woohae anon, 🌹 anon, aida-cb, multihoe-net, rubyreduji, vintageot5, itsbeeble, veethefreeelf, blssovru -> kaespas, toruro, heuricanes, 🌰 anon, 🍡 anon, 👒 anon, 🚌 anon, 🎀 anon, 🦊 anon, 💟 anon, star anon, ⭐️ anon, 🍒 anon, 🌀 anon, 🧋 anon, 🤤 anon, 🫨 anon, beebee, that one anon from 2 years ago who vented to me, Leo anon, 🐧 anon

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

NO BUT A FRIEND OF MINE IS do you need a digital artist

-uwu

AS MANY AS I CAN YES PLEASE

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Hey, are any of you artists?

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

are ya actually chill abt him...

Dawn says I've only talked about him like 10 times in the last.... hour..............

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

NOOOOOO OGOGGMKGM IM SOOOO EXCITED RNNNNNNNNN BRIE COMEBACKKKKK LESGAURRRR

-uwu

YOURE SO FUNNY

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

WOOZI FICCCCCCCC OGMGOGMGKMG ISNT IT THE SEVENTH OF JUNE ALR 😋😋😋😋😋😋

WOOZI FIC!

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

WAIT IDK IF IVE ASKED YOU ALR BUT WHY WASNT HE THERE NOOOOOO LIKE WASNT HE THE ONE WHO ASKED YOU TO COME

YES. I don't know why he wasn't there actually. I didn't ask, because... you know... but I have seen him since... nothings really... happened...

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

OMG BRIE DID I J GET A NOTIF FROM YA

-uwu

YOU DID HELLO

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

The Great Divide: Pt 1. Dashboard

Genre: Small Town RomCom with a dash of Angst

Tags: No smut to be seen; y/n is depressed, sad, lonely, self-obsessed, broken, and a little crazy; barista!wonwoo, famous person!yn, genderneutral!yn, fan!Jihoon, Slice of life core, change your life core, find yourself core.

Summary: Sometimes to find yourself. You have to let yourself break, and then put yourself back together again. One disgusting piece at a time.

Part One of Four:

Now Playing Dashboard by Noah Kahan

-

“Your favorite person is retiring.” 

Jihoon looked up at Seungkwan’s words, his eyebrows furrowing as he shuffled aside the papers on his desk. 

“What?” 

“Your favorite person is retiring,” Seungkwan repeated. Before Jihoon could ask for more details, or more of an explanation Seungkwan was shoving his phone in his face. Jihoon blinked in annoyance but took Seungkwan’s phone and focused on the screen. 

When he saw the picture on the news article his entire demeanour changed. His one-handed hold on Seungkwan’s phone turned into a double-handed grasp, as he squinted at the screen, thinking his eyes were fooling him. 

“What-” 

He couldn’t believe that the photo on the article was you, and he couldn’t believe he was actually reading your name in the article that Seungkwan had handed him. 

How could you be retiring? At this age? 

And yet as he scrolled down the page, it seemed true. 

I just don’t feel enjoyment from being on stage anymore, the article quoted you as saying. I just want to get away from it all. 

The article quoted that your appearance in a movie aimed to come out later this year was still secure as you had already filmed at the scenes you needed to for it, but as far as press releases, interviews, and red carpets went, your plan was to drop completely from the radar. 

The series was debating further contracts with you, but as far as Jihoon could tell you were done with it. 

His first thought, of course was that you were just done with that. The movie series that dragged everyone in the movie industry into worldwide fame, however the more that he looked at the interviews, and tore through articles, and watched the videos it was clear that you were just done with fame. 

He tried to ignore Seungkwan’s prodding, and he reminded himself that this wasn’t really his business. He didn’t have the rights to know all the details of why you were leaving the industry. He didn’t have the right to be upset because he would never get anymore interviews. 

And yet, he couldn’t help himself cross-analyzing you in every single thing you had posted in the last 24 hours. 

- 

You tugged your hat a bit down more on your head as you (almost theatrically timed) once again silenced your phone, tired of your manager Seungcheol’s incessant, nonstop phone calls. You understood why you were getting the calls. You understood that he was just concerned… You were, after all, quitting the entertainment industry before you had even really started. 

Well, was it really quitting if you hadn’t told Seungcheol what you were doing in the first place? 

Was it immature of you to have just gone on a single interview saying you were done, post a brief farewell post on Instagram and disappear off the face of the Earth? 

Well… If you counted the town you were going to as being “off the face of the Earth”. You squinted at the name of the town… Not remembering anything about it other than the fact that a quick google search would tell you that the place none for being a place that “famous people went to die”… 

At least, that’s what it had been known for years and years ago. 

You had thought that maybe… If they had been discreet with the famous people who had retired there before this little town would be discreet with you too. Maybe this could even be the place were you went to die. 

Of old age, oh god, you definitely weren’t ready to die yet, you were still young. 

And that was what really made you tap the screen of your phone as you waited for the bus that you were going to escape to that old town in. 

The idea that this place was going to be your new home… Your forever home, had your heart pounding in your chest. Excitement strumming through your body right along with your nerves. 

As you sat in the bus, every single person that entered had your blood ruining cold. Worried that somebody would be able to recognize you and would blow your whole cover. 

If someone caught you now, before you were safe in that town then this would all be completely ruined. 

If Seungcheol knew where you were, then he was sure to drag you right back to your admittedly perfectly fine apartment back home. And you really didn’t want to go back there. 

At least, not yet. 

But despite the anxieties strumming through your brain no one recognized you as they got on the bus. No one recognized you as one by one they all slowly made their way out. Departing until it was just you on the bus and the open road. 

You stared out at the passing landscape, noting that this was far from what you were used to. The trees and grass reminding you more of time that you had spent with your family over the summer. Travelling away from the city and school and everything else. 

That’s exactly what this was wasn’t it? It was like a vacation. 

A vacation that you weren’t ever going to come back from… So was that even a vacation? You supposed not. 

- 

When you finally arrived to the small town that you had been researching for… An admittedly short amount of time, you found that it did not look exactly like the google earth pictures had made it seem. The café that had been right next to the bus stop was closed, one of the windows broken in. 

You supposed that the photos must have been a bit old. The building still looked nice though.  

You pulled out your phone to fumble with the navigation app but the second that you had it out your phone started buzzing again. You caught a glimpse at the contact name and immediately fumbled to shut your phone off. 

Your heart thumping until it stopped vibrating in your hand. You let out a sigh of relief, considering throwing the phone away entirely. 

You looked down the road. 

Well… You thought maybe you could find the inn yourself. 

You wandered down the road aimlessly, until you found a road you recognized, with the only Inn in town on the side of the road. You let out a sharp breath of relief and dragged your things to it, pushing into the lobby without thinking much of it. As you forced your luggage into the lobby, a small bell rang out. 

“Just a moment!” 

As the door finally shut behind you, a woman walked up behind the desk counter, wiping her hands down her jeans. She looked up at you, a smile on her face. 

“How can I help-” When you fully turned towards her, she faltered. “… You…?” 

You smiled back at her. 

“I called to place a reservation for the next few days,” you replied. The woman’s eyebrows furrowed a bit. 

“Right…”  

She forced another smile on her lips, trying to hide her confusion. She looked at the small computer on her desk and typed a few things. She pursed her lips together. 

“You’re Frima?” She asked you, her eyes flickering back up to you. You gave her a small nod. “Like the coffee creamer brand…?” 

Right. You shouldn’t come up with fake names while you’re booking inn rooms in the middle of the night. You rummaged through your bags to find your wallet. 

“I have the payment…” You grabbed your wallet and then pulled out a few hundred-dollar bills. You walked over and set them on the counter. Her face fell in distress. 

“Why are you-” She gave you a panicked expression. “Why are you trying to pay for an inn room with this much cash?” 

You stared at her, feeling a bit clueless. 

“Well…. It’s enough, isn’t it?” 

She took the cash, and slid you back two of the bills. 

“It’s too much,” she said bluntly. She looked back down at the money. “Can I see some id?” 

Fear shot through you. 

“An id?” You asked. “I, uh- Why do you need an id?” 

“You have to be older than 18 to book a room.” 

“Do I look younger than 18?” You blurted back. The lady looked at you with a distressed expression on her face. 

“Why would you have this much cash and no id?” 

As you two stared at one another, your brain raced with a way to get out of this. But before you could actually come up with anything the music in the lobby shifted. Your voice rang out over the speakers and you and the lady at the desk made eye contact. 

You shrugged defeatedly. 

“I left it at home?” You offered. The lady sighed, letting her head droop a little for a moment, completely silent. 

Then she looked up at her computer. She typed a few things, and then rummaged through a key box. She held out a set of keys for you to grab. 

“Room number seven. We do offer room service. If you need anything from me at the desk, I’m Jieun.” 

Before Jieun could take back what she was saying you darted forward, taking the keys from her. You expressed your thanks in a small smile. 

“I’ll be a great patron!” You promised. Before Jieun could say more, you grabbed your luggage and rolled your things down the hall to your room. 

You hadn’t ever stayed in a hotel or an inn or anything that required physical metal keys to unlock the room, but it made a wave of excitement rush through your body anyways. 

New experience, new experience. This was a beautiful new experiment. 

As you opened the door to your little bedroom, you felt a bit giddy. Like you were in an episode of Supernatural. You half expected an angel to just pop up in your bedroom while your back was turned to close the door. 

… 

Obviously, that didn’t happen. 

You had spent a good few hours trying to find a real estate agent before you had officially packed your bag, and ran away from your life in the spotlight, and that few hours had booked you an appointment with Mina. 

Fake name in place, but very obvious… Face in place as well, and Mina was a bit uncomfortable around you. But, you were paying her to be comfortable around you. You were paying her to find you a house. 

“It’s a bit unorthodox to just… Try to buy a house the day you arrive to a town…” Mina mumbled, tapping the corner of her lips as the two of you looked at the house in front of you. It was small, looked to be just a one bedroom. Maybe a small attic. Probably no bigger than an apartment, but not quite a tiny house… 

“It’s perfect,” you said, ignoring the intonation in her voice. 

“What? I haven’t even shown you-” 

“No, I like this one,” you said, your eyebrows scrunching. “It’s perfect.” 

“The heat isn’t on yet, and you haven’t even checked the interior…” 

"Well, the only reason I would need to be worried is if you are trying to cheat me into buying a bad house," you commented, brushing your hair out of your face as you turned to look at Mina. You had a serious expression on your face, your eyebrow arched suspiciously at her. "Why would you show me a house that you knew someone wouldn't like?" 

Mina looked horrified by your sudden change in attitude. She stammered to give you an answer. 

"I j-just thought-" 

"Oh, that someone like me wouldn't like something simple, that I would need to stay at a house that was really fancy, and extravagant?" You continued. You watched for a little bit as Mina stammered, terrified that she had offended you of all people. Someone that was known for being easy going and kind. 

But you were known in private, and revealed only in a few lesser-known interviews that you were a bit of a prankster. 

A small smile pressed onto your face. 

"I'm just kidding Mina," you said softly. Your reassurance did nothing to reassure her. 

"It's a n-nice house it's j-ju-" 

You interrupted her with another laugh. 

"I'm just a random home-seeker," you said softly. "And I want to buy this house." 

Despite the fact that Mina stopped stammering so much, you could tell throughout the entire process of buying the house she didn't actually breath easy until it was sure that you had bought it and there was no change that you could sue her for selling you a faulty house. 

You didn't really do much when you first got into town. You did your best to just stay in your motel room. You ordered room service, and thanked Jieun for only raising her eye a little bit when you paid completely in cash for a month and gave her a very clearly fake name. 

She was keeping your stay at the little motel quiet, which you were thankful for. 

And you were going crazy, sitting on your motel bed, bent over your phone, damp hair dripping on the sheets as you did your best to avoid all of the news about you and your retirement. 

But you were all the news, so instead you just focused on reading manhwa's and watching shows on streaming services online.  

By the time everything had finally been settled with your house purchase (also in cash, much to Mina's segringe), the chatter about you had died down on tiktok, returning your fyp to edits of one Mr. Coriolanus Snow. Although… Such edits might be more of a reflection on you than current events. 

So, when you walked into your brand new house, echoing silence, dust coating the counters in the kitchen, you were so relieved you didn't even care. 

This was your house. This was where you were going to die. 

... In many, many, years. Of old age. 

In this house though. Definitely in this house. 

You still thought it was best for you to keep yourself concealed. News of you may have died down, but a single spotting of you was enough to bring yourself back into the limelight. And you weren't ready to be in the limelight again. 

But, considering that this town was not in fact the big city, and there were not in fact a plethora of doordashers, you would have to go to the grocery store, so the grocery store was where you were going the next day. 

You decided not to go with any extreme disguise, because what was the point? Wearing a face mask and a ball cap and a jacket in this town would just draw attention from the residents. And you weren't even going to be in the store for that long. 

At least, you had assumed that you weren't even going to be in the store for that long. 

That was before of course, you realized that all of the brands of food, and easily accessible snacks you had become used to were not readily available in a grocery store that was barely any bigger than a coffee shop. 

Sure, there were aisles and mutliple places to get your food rung up. All of which made you think surely it wasn't as different here as it would be somewhere else but even so, you couldn’t find the things that you usually would pick. 

Your eyes strained as you stared at the milk section, trying, with no avail to find the kind of milk you wanted. You made sure to keep your breathing even as you staved off a panic attack over the fact that you couldn’t find it. You had been using this one brand of milk for years now. This one specific type, and you couldn’t find it anywhere. At that, the kind of cold brew coffee you bought also wasn’t readily available. 

This was such a small thing to make you realize exactly how big of a mistake you had made in moving here all of a sudden, but regardless of that it really was making you realize that you had made a big mistake. There were so many things that you had taken for granted back in the city. Things you definitely wouldn’t be able to find here. 

God, you were a whole different kind of stupid. 

“Oh my god.” 

You heard a crash coming from the other side of the grocery store. You saw a glimpse of blonde hair and wide eyes before loud padding echoed through the store. You could hear the distant sound of your singing ringing through the store. 

“Seungkwan wha-“ 

“You have to come here.” 

“What are you on about?” 

“Just-“ 

Loud padding along with the distinct sound of being dragged filled your ears again before suddenly the sounds came to a stop. You stared at the spot where you had spotted the person before. 

The speaking came more mumbled but the protesting from one of the people was still clear. Finally, two heads poked out from the aisle. The same blonde boy from before, along with another boy with long dark hair. 

The dark-haired boys’ eyes widened in surprise and both heads at almost the same time ducked back behind the aisle shelves. You heard hissed whispers back and forth between the two. You sighed. 

You supposed even in the middle of nowhere you were going to be recognizable. 

You looked back at the milk that had been previously causing your spiral and decided on the brand you’d never heard of, hoping that it would taste like what you usually bought. If it didn’t you might just have to come out of retirement because what the fuck. 

You decided you needed to cut your grocery trip short, because the whispers were only beginning to grow, now coming from the workers that were around you as well. You didn’t know what you had thought was going to be happen when this small town found out that you were here, but… It wasn’t this. 

You would just have to deal with the initial surprise, and hope that it faded as time went on. 

Once you got home you came to two shitty revelations all at once: 

You didn’t have a bed and your refrigerator wasn’t plugged in. 

After banging your head lightly against the wall, you dropped your groceries on the floor and lugged the giant piece of machinery forward. You tried to ignore the dust and cobwebs, reassuring yourself that there were no spiders because Mina wouldn’t sell you a house with spiders. Because spiders don’t even exist. Because just because there are cobwebs doesn’t mean that there are spiders. 

And as you chanted that through your head, again, and again, and again you were finally able to plug the thing in and- It still wasn’t working. 

One calculated scream into your luggage and after hitting a few buttons, and trying to pull up a youtube video, and realizing that your internet didn’t work, and that your water wasn’t plugged in, you finally were able to troubleshoot your refrigerator and after stuffing your groceries inside, you curled up on a blanket on the floor and finally found yourself able to sleep. 

When you woke up, there was a spider staring at you from your ceiling. 

You screamed and ran as quickly out of the house as you could. 

You tripped over yourself on your yard, and picked up speed as you raced into town. 

If your stylist were to see you in that moment. She would probably quit her job. Running through the city with bags under your eyes, yesterdays makeup still on your face, and your hair a complete mess. 

But you were so scared and desperate that you didn’t care. You ran into the city, running into the first building you saw. 

The small ding of a bell was the first thing you heard before letting the door shut behind you. You let out a shriek scream. 

“Hello?” A concerned (annoyed…?) voice echoed from within the store. You looked around the building you were in, noting the worn wood tables, the polaroid pictures on the wall, the ancient register at the front. You closed your eyes and inhaled slightly. The sweet aroma of coffee beads filling your nostrils. 

“Who do I call about an extermination?” You blurted. He stared at you, which irritated you, solely on the basis that you were fucking terrified. “Seriously what kind of fucking town is this that you’ll just sell a house with spiders in it to just anyone?” 

The man stared at you, his shoulders slacking a little as he took you in. 

“You know that any house, in any town has spiders... Right?” 

You gave the man the most appalled expression you could possibly manage. 

“Who the fuck are you to say something like that to me?” You demanded. The man at the counter let his head tilt ever-so-slightly to the side. You took this opportunity to fix him under a glare that you knew was uncharacteristic of you. 

The man at the counter was tall, short brushed back dark hair, and a plain shirt under his apron that strained a bit against his muscles. You mused over the fact that this town might have a gym. 

You might need a gym if you wanted to still pretend that you had any chance of returning to the acting world. Your most popular role… Was your most physically demanding. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The man said, your change in demeanor seeming to make him realize who he was looking at. 

“Who the fuck are you?” You countered back, just as angrily. You had been on the floor all this time, so you got to your feet. “I’m new to this town and this is how you treat new customers?” 

“I’m the owner of the only coffee shop in this entire town,” the man rivaled. “Do you really want to be on my no serve list?” 

He gestured to a singular picture on the wall off an equally as muscular man smiling brightly at the camera. You highly doubted that this man was genuinely not allowed in the shop. Before you could rival what he was saying the front door to the coffee shop swung open. You and the barista turned over your shoulders to see the boy who had just walked in. 

You remembered him… Briefly. One of the guys from the grocery store. 

He hummed as he walked into the shop, large black headphones over his ears. He wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going. So distracted by whatever was playing in his ears that he was paying no heed to even the tables that he was weaving between. 

You and the barista just watched him in silence, until he stopped at the counter. He looked up at the man. 

“Wonwoo, can I-” 

Wonwoo’s face dropped, and the reaction made the boy finally realize, that this was not his average Wednesday morning coffee run. You had a few seconds to smile and stick your tongue out at Wonwoo before the other boy turned around, and as he did you turned as well, pretending to find interest in one of the paintings on the wall. 

You whistled inconspicuously and kicked your feet innocently. To make yourself seem even more innocent you ran your fingers through your hair… And if it made your appearance seem a little less unseemly, then that was a complete coincidence. 

“Can I…” The boy started to speak, his eyes still on you. Then, you felt his gaze avert. “Can I have my usual?” He asked softly. 

Wonwoo grunted his agreement, and his register began to loudly clink as he rang up the boy. You continued to trail the edge of the coffee shop, not really wanting to risk heading home, and as you did so the two up front began to talk. At first about nothing. The weather, the coffee, and then, as they spoke their voices dropped. 

“You know who that is don’t you?” The boy who was ordering the coffee asked. 

“I know that if they don’t order something soon then I’m going to kick them out,” Wonwoo said, his voice rising with his words. 

You blinked innocently, glancing back over your shoulder. 

“I was just thinking,” you stated, you twirled a strand of your hair around your index finger. “Hmmm… Should I get an americano or a latte…” 

You pretended to be lost in thought, and that made this Wonwoo turn his attention back to the coffee making, his voice becoming hushed again. 

“No, I don’t know who that is,” Wonwoo admitted. Their voices really were quiet. The next thing you heard from the unnamed boy was: famous, and then a few character names, a few song titles. You didn’t have to hear Wonwoo’s response to realize that he didn’t care at all. 

When the boy ordering his coffee realized that as well, he let the conversation drop. Seeming to be more excited to be near you than to gossip about you and why you were here. After not long, he bid farewell to Wonwoo, resecured his headphones over his ears, and wandered out of the shop. 

As soon as the door clicked close, Wonwoo was tapping the counter. 

“So. You’re y/n,” he commented bluntly. 

“And you’re Wonwoo,” you snapped back, crossing your arms over your chest. Wonwoo snorted at your audacity. 

“You do realize this is my coffee shop, right?” Wonwoo commented, pouring a drink into a plastic cup. “I can kick you out if I really want to.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, daring him to do so. Instead, he sighed and placed the plastic cup he was holding onto the counter. You noticed your name written across it. 

“Just take your coffee and get out of here.” 

Your eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. 

“But I didn’t order anything,” you murmured. 

“You didn’t,” Wonwoo agreed. 

“But your number one fan…” He gestured outside. “He thought he would make your coffee decision for you.” 

You walked up to the counter and picked up the drink. You squinted at it. 

“What is it?” You asked softly. 

Wonwoo murmured the drink he had made, and again you were taken aback. 

“That’s my favorite…” You mumbled in disbelief. You glanced up at the menu running your eyes over the options. It wasn’t like your favorite was anything special, but still… You thought about asking who that guy was. 

“Get out of my coffee shop,” Wonwoo stated bluntly. You stuck your tongue out at him, but considering you now had coffee, you didn’t feel the need to argue. 

You went back to the grocery store and bought some bug spray, and then you sat on the sidewalk out front as you ordered a shit ton of things that you needed on amazon because there wasn’t a furniture store here. Why would there be a furniture store here? 

And, you didn’t have a car. So, it wasn’t like you could just go and get the furniture you needed. 

Normally, you would just call Seungcheol. You always just called Seungcheol. Always pulling out a little whine in your voice as you asked him to do something for you that he would do either way.  

You tapped your index finger against your phone screen. 

You really needed him right now. 

If there were spiders in your apartment back in the city, Seungcheol would be there in an instant. Without you so much as having to ask, he would let you stay at his place while he had a team of people exterminate all of the bugs in your apartment. He would even humor you when you said you couldn’t go back to your old apartment and that you needed to find a new place. 

You turned your phone back on. Waiting impatiently while the phone screen lit up. For a few seconds of peace you were able to open up amazon, without any notifications popping up. 

And then your phone started buzzing in your hand.  

This time you turned your phone on “do not disturb” breathing a huge sigh of relief when the vibrations stopped coming. 

Why hadn’t you just done that in the first place? 

You sat outside for a while as you browsed amazon for all of the things that you would need. A good bed frame, a table, cleaning products…. And once you were finally able to place the amazon order, you sat back on the palms of your hands, satisfied. 

And promptly checked back into Jieun’s hotel for the next few days while you got all of your stuff in. 

There wasn’t much that you felt like you could do in this town just yet. You wanted to wait for the tales of your disappearance to dissipate even more.  

One of the things that you had gotten on your little shopping trip was a brand new phone, so you were able to get back on tiktok on a burner account. Which meant you and your little videos were back. No more awkward dinners with static-y live television in the hotel and no more nights in your house where it felt like a ghost was comically haunting your kitchen.  

Instead, you stowed your old phone away in a box in the corner of what was to be your bedroom, and set out to get yourself really settled in this place. 

You sat there for a while, staring at the unfinished bed frame that you were trying to put together. You sat in the midst of wood, and nails, and your fingers felt raw from having had to touch the wood. The moon light that shone on your face drew your attention up to the sky and suddenly the silence that you had been working in felt suffocating. 

You let your fingers fall still and your head drooped a little bit. 

What were you doing here? 

You hadn't told anyone you were coming. Getting a new phone and phone number was great and all but your old, turned off phone was basically burning a hole in the floor where you had set it. 

You wondered what Seungcheol was doing right now. You wondered if he was thinking about you, or if he was busy doing other things. 

You wondered what all your friends were doing right now... If you could even really call them that. It wasn't like any of them would really miss you. They barely spoke to you as it was. You had spent too many late nights, huddled over your phone, staring at messages with friends who were barely responding, or left without saying good bye, or didn't even respond in the first place. 

You weren't sure really why you were surprised. Or why you were blaming them. They all had their own things they were going through. They all had their own lives. They always tried to show shared affection for you. 

But you wondered, completely and fully honestly if you had left, and the world hadn't gone crazy over it... How long would it have taken them to notice. 

You were aware that you were crying because suddenly you couldn't breathe. Your whole face was burning hot, and your tears were beginning to drip down onto your hands. It was painful in a way that it shouldn't be, but by now your face was so wet and you were so hysterical that all you could think about was how much you hated when your neck was wet, and it started to dampen your collar. 

You gasped for air as your hands wiped the tears desperately off of your neck, tilting your head forward so that the tears would fall right onto the wood floor. 

The stupid wood floor, amongst the mass of wood that you still needed to hammer together to make your stupid bed. 

Images of your finished bed frame floated through your brain and your sobs died down a little. 

Oh it was going to be so nice when you had your clean sheets pressed against your body and you could pile ten million blankets on your body and pretend like everything was okay. 

You checked back into Jieun’s motel that night, and if she noticed the puffiness of your eyes, she didn’t comment. 

- 

Moving into a house was a whole different kind of project. One that you hadn’t really realized would be so taxing. When you had watched it on television- or dare you even say when you had acted it out in movies it had all been cut into a cute little montage that made even the hard work look easy. 

But it wasn’t easy, it was actually quite hard work. 

You were still pretty strong from previous more demanding roles, but you hadn’t quite figured out the AC unit and it was fucking sweltering in your attic which you were determined to flip into your bedroom. Dragging things upstairs to the room was a nightmare. 

Dare you say everything was a nightmare right now. 

And after a long day at work, you needed to eat. 

Desperately. 

You washed your face as best as you could at your house, knowing that you would still be staying at the inn for now, but you were tired of inn food and Jieun had been suggesting you go to one of the in town restaurants since you had gotten here. 

So after you had made sure to pull a hat over your head and throw on some jeans and a hoodie (again, your stylists biggest nightmare) you were out and headed into town. 

You had gotten used to the ride into town but if you were honest it would be nice to have an easier mode of transportation. 

A bike would be a blessing. 

Maybe that would be your next big purchase... You weren’t sure. 

It wasn’t like you were short on money. Money wasn’t an issue. 

You just needed to be a little careful about how much you were ordering to this place and how quickly you did. So that your bank account didn’t suspect anything was up with you and lock your card or something. Now that would be a nightmare. 

Once you got to the resturant in question, a small place right by the water, you walked into the door and awkwardly spotted a sign that said: ‘Take a seat wherever you want, and a server will be right with you.’ You chewed nervously on the inside of your cheeks. 

Right. Okay, this wouldn’t be too bad. You were just a normal person, in a normal restaurant and everyone would surely treat you normally. 

You took a seat by the window so that you could look out at the water. 

A coastal town, you had always wanted to live in a coastal tone. It wasn’t like you wanted to go swimming all the time or as if you were obsessed with the ocean it just felt like a whole different sort of environment compared to just like a farming town. 

You wanted to see the fishermen going out on their boats, and hear the kids squeal in excitement as they were chased up the shore by waves. You wanted the peace of knowing that something so deep and big and vast was right beside you. 

You wanted to feel small. For once in this world. You needed that. 

You heard some whispering from around you and you glanced up to see that you had been spotted. There were two pretty young waitresses who were staring at you with big eyes and right next to them was a small cast of characters. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you glanced across the restaurant, noticing that there was someone at the bar looking at you with wide, scared eyes. He seemed to be even more shocked when he saw you looking at him. He ducked his head away, but you could see the red in his cheeks. 

Ah, you kept running into him. 

What had that coffee shop employee called him? 

Your biggest fan. 

You sighed, so much for going unnoticed. 

After a few minutes a waitress finally walked over to you. She was flustered, just like any of your fans tended to be. She swallowed hard and bounced on the balls of her feet. 

“Hi- I- Well, okay, I’m Wo-Wonhee.” 

Her stammering was adorable. You couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“I-I well, you’re new in town. W-Well! Maybe you’re not staying- I don’t mean to assume I just, well, you don’t know the menu if you are just-” Wonhee raised the menu quickly to cover her reddening face and turned around to look desperately at the other waitresses and the cook at the counter. 

You squinted at the cute. Tall, buff... Familiar. 

You frowned but didn’t dwell. They were all gesturing towards Wonhee to keep going, but when their eyes fell on you they all nearly comically turned away to pay attention to other things. Suddenly, the guy with the “kiss the cook” apron on was scraping a spatula against an empty pan, and one of the waitresses was counting each napkin on the counter, and the other one was suddenly wiping off a very clean looking glass. 

You turned your attention back to Wonhee who was peaking at you from overtop of the menu. 

“O-Our specials today are clam chowder,” she squeaked. She dropped the menu on the table, and then covered her mouth as if she shocked by her own aggression (even though there was nothing aggressive about it at all). “There might not be anything on the menu that suits your pallet-”  “What would you know about my pallet?” You asked bluntly. Wonhee’s eyes widened at your words. 

“W-Well, you probably like... More expensive-” 

“More expensive?” You questioned blankly. Wonhee looked pained. 

“G-God I’m so sorry it’s just you look... I just assumed-” 

You let out a soft laugh, finally letting a smile cross your face. You leaned towards the waitress a little bit, wondering if maybe you had taken the cold, blunt bit for a little too long with someone who seemed to just be a teenager. 

“I’m just kidding,” you said softly. “I really don’t have some big expectation on food. I’m just another person you know?” 

Wonhee looked at you with something in her eyes that told you that your words were wrong. Something that itched the back of your brain a bit, in a bad way. 

She was right, you supposed. Just another person would not have this many eyes on them. 

But you were. You were. 

“What do you like here?” 

Wonhee’s eyes grew even larger. 

“You would not like what I like,” she said in disbelief. You shrugged. 

“Why not?” 

Wonhee stared at you, clearly having no answer. Finally, she turned away and rushed back over to the other wait staff without saying a word. 

You were honestly surprised by the sudden departure, a bit worried that you had made some mistake. 

You watched as she talked quickly to the others, her voice so shrill you couldn’t understand what she was saying. Then the guy- your biggest fan reached a hand forward and took the menu. The group of them stared at him as he spoke through a few things, and then he looked up at Wonhee and smiled- 

Something happened in your heart. It jumped a little. What was he talking about? It was crazy how caring he had just seemed. 

Was he really your biggest fan? Did he really know that much about you? 

Your finger dragged across the worn wood of the table, and you felt the bumps in it. It reminded you more of your childhood. The way that tables at fast food places would feel worn and lived in. 

This whole place felt lived in. The pictures and newspaper clippings on the wall were old and yellowing. The booths looked like they were tearing a little. 

You ran your fingers across the leather and sighed. 

You missed this. You missed how easy and comfortable this was. 

A small glass clanged onto the table and you looked up surprised to see Wonhee standing there with a cup of juice and a cup of water. 

She was still nervous, fidgety and scared to look at you. 

“Your food will be out soon!” 

And then she was rushing off again. You watched as she rushed away, feeling a bit puzzled by her behavior. 

Still, you tried to shrug it off. 

It wasn’t long before the food came out. You frowned as she practically abandoned it with you on your table, eyeing the plate of food a bit curiously. It was... Exactly the sort of thing that you would like. You picked at it suspiciously and placed a piece in your mouth. 

Flavor burst across your tongue. Not only was it a dish that you could see yourself enjoying every day. T was also the best version of that dish anyone could have possibly even imagined up. 

You took a glance back over to your biggest fan and found that once again everyone was staring at you with large eyes. They all cowered away from your gaze, including him, pretending to be doing whatever ridiculous task was closest on hand. You sighed, and returned to your food. 

Well, it seemed like at some point you would have to meet your so called biggest fan. 

The next day you decided that you couldn’t look at your dumb fucking house at all and decided to instead explore the little town that was your brand new home. 

You had always wanted to live in a small town, a desire that now being lived was hammering itself loudly in your mind.  

Everywhere you looked and turned you were staring at another part of a dream you had never actually imagined you would live. 

A coastal town with cobblestone roads (oh god how you loved cobblestone roads), old brick buildings of antique stores and bookshops along a main street that you could practically see decorated for festivals right there. 

Your fingers clenched and unclenched themselves as you thought about the sorts of festivals this small town might hold. Fishing festivals, flower festivals, god it was like you were living out Stardew Valley but you didn’t have to farm for money. 

Thank god, you knew from killing the few succulents you had ever owned that you would not be able to run a farm. 

You felt yourself drawn to a few instruments in the window of a music repair shop. You pushed into the shop, a small bell ringing out. At the counter, the boy you had kept running into was standing right next to… Well, the other boy that you kept running into. 

The other boy, the taller boy perked up at the sight of you, while his friend froze. The two stared at you for a few seconds in which it was obvious that they had recognized you. 

You pressed your lips into a small smile. 

“Hi,” you said. 

The two stared at you, before the taller boy seemed to regain his sense. 

“Hi,” he breathed back. The sound of your singing drifted through the store as the three of you stared at each other. The taller boy sharply elbowed his friend. 

“Oh, uh hello.” 

You took that as the freedom to start to walk around the store. You heard the boys begin to frantically whisper to one another as you wandered through the store, but you mostly ignored it, before you heard avid whispered protests and all of a sudden the taller boy was right next to you. 

“Soooo…..” He introed, causing you to glance away from the drumset you were studying. “What brings you into our fine establishment?” 

Town. He wanted to know what brought you into this town. 

You played dumb. 

“Instruments,” you said lightly. “I do like to look at instruments.” 

In the midst of your breakdown you had decided that you never wanted to touch another instrument again. But… Being in this store actually brought you more down to Earth than you had been in a few days. 

“Right… You like to look at them.” 

You could see the boy turn over his shoulder to mouth something at the other boy out of the corner of your eye. 

You continued to play dumb. 

“Well, I am Seungkwan,” he said. You gave him a small smile and nodded. 

“It’s nice to meet you Seungkwan.” 

You didn’t offer up your name and instead continued to look around the shop, eyes scanning past old and frankly unpopular scores of sheet music. As you looked over it, your eyes fell on the other boy across the room. He still looked a bit starstruck. 

You gave him another pointed smile. One that you always shot fans when you saw them outside. 

“And your name?” 

“Jihoon.” 

His voice was airy. You gave him another nod. 

“It’s nice to meet you as well Jihoon.” 

Your eyes looked up past him, a guitar on the wall catching your gaze. 

“Hey- That looks just like mine,” you said suddenly, walking up towards the counter. You pressed your hands on the counter as soon as you got to it, leaning across it in order to squint at the dark blue guitar. On one hand… It looked like any old dark blue electric guitar and it shouldn’t necessarily standout to you. 

You had promoted this song one time that you actually had a guitar solo in that you did live on stage. You vividly remembered what had made the guitar so special was that the base of it was splattered in what looked like little stars, making it look just slightly like space. 

“It’s even got the stars…” You mumbled. “You know I had the guitar specifically made for that come back, and I learned how to actually play it for promotions.” 

Both of the boys were silent. Maybe they had already known it. You leaned a bit further over the counter, catching the something at the bottom of it. 

“It even has the same scuff mark…” You murmured. “Wait is that my guitar?” 

You glanced at Jihoon, who was standing like a deer in headlights behind the counter. He nodded once. 

“No way!” 

You didn’t really think before you had both of your palms placed on the counter and you were hauling yourself up on it. Seungkwan made some sounds of protest as you put both of your feet on the counter, and reached for the guitar on the wall. You took it off of the wall, and ran your hands over the worn out guitar strap until you found the stitching of your album name on it, and the small signature you had left on the back of the guitar. 

“Who bought this?” You asked, the excitement evident in your voice. You turned around to look at the only two guys in the store, and Seungkwan wordlessly pointed to Jihoon. Jihoon cleared his throat and nodded. 

“Yeah, uh… I liked that song when it came out.” 

“The guitar went for thousands when it was sold. I heard the auction for it was crazy…” You murmured. 

"It was nothing for this guy," Seungkwan said, grabbing Jihoon by the shoulders and shaking him excitedly. "I mean he is practically your biggest-" 

"I just love guitars," Jihoon interrupted meekly. You wanted to prompt Jihoon more on this comment, but even as you were going to say something your head was turning a bit and you were catching a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of a mirror against the wall. Your head tilted back at it for a second guess, probably a reaction that went unnoticed. 

But it was enough for you to get a good look at how you appeared to these men right now. Your hair looked perfect, a smile spread over your lips as if there were fifteen cameras on you. Your face was natural blushed, and somehow that and your hair made you look completely radiant. 

Even your clothes which you had assumed when you put them on were mismatched and made you look plain were making you stand out in this moment and the way that you were unintentionally posed just brought the whole thing together in a neat bow. 

Your shoulders drooped a little, and your smile wavered. 

You carefully returned the guitar to the wall, and climbed back down on the counter. You scratched the back of your neck. 

"Well, it's a nice little shop." 

As you made awkward goodbyes to Seungkwan and Jihoon, something frustrating bounced back and forth in your head. 

The feel of that stupid guitar in your hands. 

You should have known better than to pick it up. You should have known better than to think about your old life, but when you saw it... When you realized it was yours, you just couldn’t hold back. 

And the second your fingers brushed the strings. 

Fuck you missed working. 

You missed it so badly. 

You had forgotten how much you enjoyed it. Having a purpose. 

Sure, right now you had plenty of things that you wanted to do. Plenty of things you needed to get done. 

You still had to paint your walls and clean out the oven. You still had to fix your fireplace and set down some rugs. 

But once you were done with all of the many things you had to do to make your home liveable... What was next? 

Yes, you had a house. Yes, you would be in a new city. But you would have no life. 

And you desperately needed to have a life. 

You shook the thoughts of your head. 

This was a later problem. Right now, you needed to figure out your house. You could deal with everything else later. 

As you walked towards your home you eyed the coffee shop you had visited when you first arrived. You tilted your head in thought and before you could really think twice you were pushing into the little shop. 

The bell rang as you walked in, and there was a smile on the barista’s face until he realized who was there. 

“Didn’t I warn you I would ban you?” He asked bluntly. You frowned back at him. 

“Are you seriously holding a grudge against me?” You shot back, your blood bumping suddenly in irritation. “Do you even know how immature and frankly unprofessional that is?”  

The man, Wonwoo rolled his eyes. 

“Are you here to order or to argue?” 

You crossed your arms over your chest. 

“I’m now debating whether or not I want to give you my business.” 

“Great!” Wonwoo said with false enthusiasm. “Then get out.” 

Your jaw tensed. 

“Give me that drink that you gave me the other day,” you said. You finally walked up to the counter pulling out cash. Wonwoo eyed you. 

“What’s the magic word?” 

You stared at him. 

What was his problem? 

“I’m a paying customer-” 

“You actually haven’t paid me anything yet,” Wonwoo replied bluntly. Your fingernails dug into the beds of your palms. 

“Please make me the drink that my biggest fan requested you make me.” 

Wonwoo gave you a mostly constricted smile and tapped a few things into his register. An ancient piece of metal that you didn’t even think you could properly call machinery. 

Wonwoo rattled off the total and you stuffed too much money into his hands. 

“Can you count?” Wonwoo deadpanned. You gave him a glare. 

“It’s called a tip, just take the money.” 

Wonwoo shrugged and took the money. 

“It will be out in a second.” 

He turned around to start working on your drink without another word. As he worked you let yourself soak in the little coffee shop. Your eyes trailed over the tables and the pictures on the wall, your eyes narrowing in again on the smiling picture of the ‘banned’ man. 

You squinted at the man, thinking about how familiar he looked. You walked closer to the picture, which was slightly behind the counter. As soon as you stepped there, Wonwoo turned around. 

“Excuse me-” 

“Who is this?” You asked, ignoring his clear aggravation. 

“He is about to be your best friend if you keep breaking all of my rules,” Wonwoo replied bluntly. “Just because you’re some super star doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want to.” 

The picture in front of you blurred a little bit as Wonwoo’s words melded into your thoughts. His tone was the same as it had been since you walked into the shop- Well, the first time even, but it hit different right now than it did before. 

Did people think that you just did whatever you wanted to because you were objectively famous? It wasn’t like you had done all of the things that you had done in order to get this sort of attention and treatment. 

You had never chased fame, or attention. You had always just sought to do the things that made you happy. 

You just happened to be good at those things. You just happened to have a best friend willing to be your manager early on and you just happened to get really famous for what you loved doing. 

Acting, and singing, and writing and everything in-between just happened to be something that had brought all this attention to you. Something that turned your name into something more than just a name, but into a brand. 

Was this what that brand had turned into? Is this what people thought about you? 

Did everyone think that you had left the industry because you were some brat who suddenly hadn’t gotten their way? 

Your fingers reached out and brushed the bottom edge of the photograph of the supposed banned customer. You pulled at the corner until it was off the wall and in your hands. 

You couldn’t really hear anything anymore. There was this sort of haze that had suddenly covered you, and all you could hear was the nothingness caused by the overwhelming sound of every thought in your head pounding against your skull. You stared at the photo until it was just a blur. 

Until your eyes were hot and your face was hotter. You stared at it until you realized that you were being stared at. 

You saw that Wonwoo was standing there, and you saw your coffee in his hand. 

He said something to you, but you were so focused on the picture that you didn’t hear a word he said. 

You blinked once, twice, and then you pushed the picture into his hand, took your coffee, murmured a thank you and left his shop. 

By the time you got back to your house you were still breathing, thank god, but you would do absolutely anything to get these negative thoughts of out your mind and so you did the only think that you could do. 

You started to unpack. 

Seven straight hours of work, with the background buzz of some sort of fantasy world music playlist in the background and you were able to get way more done than you had imagined. You painted one of your rooms and ordered rugs and dishes from Amazon. You swept the floor and finished assembling your bed and setting the clothes you did have on hangers in your closet after dusting and wiping down all of the surfaces. 

With a mattress and a clean set of sheets on your completely assembled bed you felt pretty accomplished. 

Sure, some decor was needed, and you had managed to get a few boxes here from your other place that wasn’t unpacked but this house was certainly living up to be exactly that... A house. 

You slid down onto the floor, finally letting the exhaustion of your day hit. 

You needed to eat. 

You rummaged through your things as you stuffed a sandwich into your mouth, not stopping your search until you found your plethora of pills. 

You cupped them into your hands and stared at them for a few moments before tossing them into your mouth. 

You swallowed your meds, and finished off your soda. The fizz tasting so refreshing... You wished that you could crack open another one, but the sleep meds were going to take over soon and you knew that you wouldn't finish it. It would just be a waste. 

You sighed, your body slumped a bit as you set aside your meds. You knew that you should get up and climb into bed soon but... Instead you peeked into a box next to you. The glint of a small golden metal statue caught your attention. You pulled it out of the box, feeling the cold metal in your hands. 

It was heavy in your hands. You sighed. This was such a joke. 

You let it roll out of your hands onto the floor and your eyes caught the time. 

You should probably go to sleep before your nightly crying fit hit.  - Up Next Staying Still... Out June 13th 10:00pm EST

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Taglist (If you want to join my taglist, fill out this form.):

@starlight-night0 , @jeanjacketjesus @k-drama-adict , @kyeomooniee , @Nerezza123 , @jbluen , @spookyminyunki ♥︎ , @melodicrabbit , @itgirl-inthemaking , @haechanshoes , @Porridgesblog , @kpoplover-19 ,

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

The Great Divide: Pt 1. Dashboard

Genre: Small Town RomCom with a dash of Angst

Tags: No smut to be seen; y/n is depressed, sad, lonely, self-obsessed, broken, and a little crazy; barista!wonwoo, famous person!yn, genderneutral!yn, fan!Jihoon, Slice of life core, change your life core, find yourself core.

Summary: Sometimes to find yourself. You have to let yourself break, and then put yourself back together again. One disgusting piece at a time.

Part One of Four:

Now Playing Dashboard by Noah Kahan

-

“Your favorite person is retiring.” 

Jihoon looked up at Seungkwan’s words, his eyebrows furrowing as he shuffled aside the papers on his desk. 

“What?” 

“Your favorite person is retiring,” Seungkwan repeated. Before Jihoon could ask for more details, or more of an explanation Seungkwan was shoving his phone in his face. Jihoon blinked in annoyance but took Seungkwan’s phone and focused on the screen. 

When he saw the picture on the news article his entire demeanour changed. His one-handed hold on Seungkwan’s phone turned into a double-handed grasp, as he squinted at the screen, thinking his eyes were fooling him. 

“What-” 

He couldn’t believe that the photo on the article was you, and he couldn’t believe he was actually reading your name in the article that Seungkwan had handed him. 

How could you be retiring? At this age? 

And yet as he scrolled down the page, it seemed true. 

I just don’t feel enjoyment from being on stage anymore, the article quoted you as saying. I just want to get away from it all. 

The article quoted that your appearance in a movie aimed to come out later this year was still secure as you had already filmed at the scenes you needed to for it, but as far as press releases, interviews, and red carpets went, your plan was to drop completely from the radar. 

The series was debating further contracts with you, but as far as Jihoon could tell you were done with it. 

His first thought, of course was that you were just done with that. The movie series that dragged everyone in the movie industry into worldwide fame, however the more that he looked at the interviews, and tore through articles, and watched the videos it was clear that you were just done with fame. 

He tried to ignore Seungkwan’s prodding, and he reminded himself that this wasn’t really his business. He didn’t have the rights to know all the details of why you were leaving the industry. He didn’t have the right to be upset because he would never get anymore interviews. 

And yet, he couldn’t help himself cross-analyzing you in every single thing you had posted in the last 24 hours. 

- 

You tugged your hat a bit down more on your head as you (almost theatrically timed) once again silenced your phone, tired of your manager Seungcheol’s incessant, nonstop phone calls. You understood why you were getting the calls. You understood that he was just concerned… You were, after all, quitting the entertainment industry before you had even really started. 

Well, was it really quitting if you hadn’t told Seungcheol what you were doing in the first place? 

Was it immature of you to have just gone on a single interview saying you were done, post a brief farewell post on Instagram and disappear off the face of the Earth? 

Well… If you counted the town you were going to as being “off the face of the Earth”. You squinted at the name of the town… Not remembering anything about it other than the fact that a quick google search would tell you that the place none for being a place that “famous people went to die”… 

At least, that’s what it had been known for years and years ago. 

You had thought that maybe… If they had been discreet with the famous people who had retired there before this little town would be discreet with you too. Maybe this could even be the place were you went to die. 

Of old age, oh god, you definitely weren’t ready to die yet, you were still young. 

And that was what really made you tap the screen of your phone as you waited for the bus that you were going to escape to that old town in. 

The idea that this place was going to be your new home… Your forever home, had your heart pounding in your chest. Excitement strumming through your body right along with your nerves. 

As you sat in the bus, every single person that entered had your blood ruining cold. Worried that somebody would be able to recognize you and would blow your whole cover. 

If someone caught you now, before you were safe in that town then this would all be completely ruined. 

If Seungcheol knew where you were, then he was sure to drag you right back to your admittedly perfectly fine apartment back home. And you really didn’t want to go back there. 

At least, not yet. 

But despite the anxieties strumming through your brain no one recognized you as they got on the bus. No one recognized you as one by one they all slowly made their way out. Departing until it was just you on the bus and the open road. 

You stared out at the passing landscape, noting that this was far from what you were used to. The trees and grass reminding you more of time that you had spent with your family over the summer. Travelling away from the city and school and everything else. 

That’s exactly what this was wasn’t it? It was like a vacation. 

A vacation that you weren’t ever going to come back from… So was that even a vacation? You supposed not. 

- 

When you finally arrived to the small town that you had been researching for… An admittedly short amount of time, you found that it did not look exactly like the google earth pictures had made it seem. The café that had been right next to the bus stop was closed, one of the windows broken in. 

You supposed that the photos must have been a bit old. The building still looked nice though.  

You pulled out your phone to fumble with the navigation app but the second that you had it out your phone started buzzing again. You caught a glimpse at the contact name and immediately fumbled to shut your phone off. 

Your heart thumping until it stopped vibrating in your hand. You let out a sigh of relief, considering throwing the phone away entirely. 

You looked down the road. 

Well… You thought maybe you could find the inn yourself. 

You wandered down the road aimlessly, until you found a road you recognized, with the only Inn in town on the side of the road. You let out a sharp breath of relief and dragged your things to it, pushing into the lobby without thinking much of it. As you forced your luggage into the lobby, a small bell rang out. 

“Just a moment!” 

As the door finally shut behind you, a woman walked up behind the desk counter, wiping her hands down her jeans. She looked up at you, a smile on her face. 

“How can I help-” When you fully turned towards her, she faltered. “… You…?” 

You smiled back at her. 

“I called to place a reservation for the next few days,” you replied. The woman’s eyebrows furrowed a bit. 

“Right…”  

She forced another smile on her lips, trying to hide her confusion. She looked at the small computer on her desk and typed a few things. She pursed her lips together. 

“You’re Frima?” She asked you, her eyes flickering back up to you. You gave her a small nod. “Like the coffee creamer brand…?” 

Right. You shouldn’t come up with fake names while you’re booking inn rooms in the middle of the night. You rummaged through your bags to find your wallet. 

“I have the payment…” You grabbed your wallet and then pulled out a few hundred-dollar bills. You walked over and set them on the counter. Her face fell in distress. 

“Why are you-” She gave you a panicked expression. “Why are you trying to pay for an inn room with this much cash?” 

You stared at her, feeling a bit clueless. 

“Well…. It’s enough, isn’t it?” 

She took the cash, and slid you back two of the bills. 

“It’s too much,” she said bluntly. She looked back down at the money. “Can I see some id?” 

Fear shot through you. 

“An id?” You asked. “I, uh- Why do you need an id?” 

“You have to be older than 18 to book a room.” 

“Do I look younger than 18?” You blurted back. The lady looked at you with a distressed expression on her face. 

“Why would you have this much cash and no id?” 

As you two stared at one another, your brain raced with a way to get out of this. But before you could actually come up with anything the music in the lobby shifted. Your voice rang out over the speakers and you and the lady at the desk made eye contact. 

You shrugged defeatedly. 

“I left it at home?” You offered. The lady sighed, letting her head droop a little for a moment, completely silent. 

Then she looked up at her computer. She typed a few things, and then rummaged through a key box. She held out a set of keys for you to grab. 

“Room number seven. We do offer room service. If you need anything from me at the desk, I’m Jieun.” 

Before Jieun could take back what she was saying you darted forward, taking the keys from her. You expressed your thanks in a small smile. 

“I’ll be a great patron!” You promised. Before Jieun could say more, you grabbed your luggage and rolled your things down the hall to your room. 

You hadn’t ever stayed in a hotel or an inn or anything that required physical metal keys to unlock the room, but it made a wave of excitement rush through your body anyways. 

New experience, new experience. This was a beautiful new experiment. 

As you opened the door to your little bedroom, you felt a bit giddy. Like you were in an episode of Supernatural. You half expected an angel to just pop up in your bedroom while your back was turned to close the door. 

… 

Obviously, that didn’t happen. 

You had spent a good few hours trying to find a real estate agent before you had officially packed your bag, and ran away from your life in the spotlight, and that few hours had booked you an appointment with Mina. 

Fake name in place, but very obvious… Face in place as well, and Mina was a bit uncomfortable around you. But, you were paying her to be comfortable around you. You were paying her to find you a house. 

“It’s a bit unorthodox to just… Try to buy a house the day you arrive to a town…” Mina mumbled, tapping the corner of her lips as the two of you looked at the house in front of you. It was small, looked to be just a one bedroom. Maybe a small attic. Probably no bigger than an apartment, but not quite a tiny house… 

“It’s perfect,” you said, ignoring the intonation in her voice. 

“What? I haven’t even shown you-” 

“No, I like this one,” you said, your eyebrows scrunching. “It’s perfect.” 

“The heat isn’t on yet, and you haven’t even checked the interior…” 

"Well, the only reason I would need to be worried is if you are trying to cheat me into buying a bad house," you commented, brushing your hair out of your face as you turned to look at Mina. You had a serious expression on your face, your eyebrow arched suspiciously at her. "Why would you show me a house that you knew someone wouldn't like?" 

Mina looked horrified by your sudden change in attitude. She stammered to give you an answer. 

"I j-just thought-" 

"Oh, that someone like me wouldn't like something simple, that I would need to stay at a house that was really fancy, and extravagant?" You continued. You watched for a little bit as Mina stammered, terrified that she had offended you of all people. Someone that was known for being easy going and kind. 

But you were known in private, and revealed only in a few lesser-known interviews that you were a bit of a prankster. 

A small smile pressed onto your face. 

"I'm just kidding Mina," you said softly. Your reassurance did nothing to reassure her. 

"It's a n-nice house it's j-ju-" 

You interrupted her with another laugh. 

"I'm just a random home-seeker," you said softly. "And I want to buy this house." 

Despite the fact that Mina stopped stammering so much, you could tell throughout the entire process of buying the house she didn't actually breath easy until it was sure that you had bought it and there was no change that you could sue her for selling you a faulty house. 

You didn't really do much when you first got into town. You did your best to just stay in your motel room. You ordered room service, and thanked Jieun for only raising her eye a little bit when you paid completely in cash for a month and gave her a very clearly fake name. 

She was keeping your stay at the little motel quiet, which you were thankful for. 

And you were going crazy, sitting on your motel bed, bent over your phone, damp hair dripping on the sheets as you did your best to avoid all of the news about you and your retirement. 

But you were all the news, so instead you just focused on reading manhwa's and watching shows on streaming services online.  

By the time everything had finally been settled with your house purchase (also in cash, much to Mina's segringe), the chatter about you had died down on tiktok, returning your fyp to edits of one Mr. Coriolanus Snow. Although… Such edits might be more of a reflection on you than current events. 

So, when you walked into your brand new house, echoing silence, dust coating the counters in the kitchen, you were so relieved you didn't even care. 

This was your house. This was where you were going to die. 

... In many, many, years. Of old age. 

In this house though. Definitely in this house. 

You still thought it was best for you to keep yourself concealed. News of you may have died down, but a single spotting of you was enough to bring yourself back into the limelight. And you weren't ready to be in the limelight again. 

But, considering that this town was not in fact the big city, and there were not in fact a plethora of doordashers, you would have to go to the grocery store, so the grocery store was where you were going the next day. 

You decided not to go with any extreme disguise, because what was the point? Wearing a face mask and a ball cap and a jacket in this town would just draw attention from the residents. And you weren't even going to be in the store for that long. 

At least, you had assumed that you weren't even going to be in the store for that long. 

That was before of course, you realized that all of the brands of food, and easily accessible snacks you had become used to were not readily available in a grocery store that was barely any bigger than a coffee shop. 

Sure, there were aisles and mutliple places to get your food rung up. All of which made you think surely it wasn't as different here as it would be somewhere else but even so, you couldn’t find the things that you usually would pick. 

Your eyes strained as you stared at the milk section, trying, with no avail to find the kind of milk you wanted. You made sure to keep your breathing even as you staved off a panic attack over the fact that you couldn’t find it. You had been using this one brand of milk for years now. This one specific type, and you couldn’t find it anywhere. At that, the kind of cold brew coffee you bought also wasn’t readily available. 

This was such a small thing to make you realize exactly how big of a mistake you had made in moving here all of a sudden, but regardless of that it really was making you realize that you had made a big mistake. There were so many things that you had taken for granted back in the city. Things you definitely wouldn’t be able to find here. 

God, you were a whole different kind of stupid. 

“Oh my god.” 

You heard a crash coming from the other side of the grocery store. You saw a glimpse of blonde hair and wide eyes before loud padding echoed through the store. You could hear the distant sound of your singing ringing through the store. 

“Seungkwan wha-“ 

“You have to come here.” 

“What are you on about?” 

“Just-“ 

Loud padding along with the distinct sound of being dragged filled your ears again before suddenly the sounds came to a stop. You stared at the spot where you had spotted the person before. 

The speaking came more mumbled but the protesting from one of the people was still clear. Finally, two heads poked out from the aisle. The same blonde boy from before, along with another boy with long dark hair. 

The dark-haired boys’ eyes widened in surprise and both heads at almost the same time ducked back behind the aisle shelves. You heard hissed whispers back and forth between the two. You sighed. 

You supposed even in the middle of nowhere you were going to be recognizable. 

You looked back at the milk that had been previously causing your spiral and decided on the brand you’d never heard of, hoping that it would taste like what you usually bought. If it didn’t you might just have to come out of retirement because what the fuck. 

You decided you needed to cut your grocery trip short, because the whispers were only beginning to grow, now coming from the workers that were around you as well. You didn’t know what you had thought was going to be happen when this small town found out that you were here, but… It wasn’t this. 

You would just have to deal with the initial surprise, and hope that it faded as time went on. 

Once you got home you came to two shitty revelations all at once: 

You didn’t have a bed and your refrigerator wasn’t plugged in. 

After banging your head lightly against the wall, you dropped your groceries on the floor and lugged the giant piece of machinery forward. You tried to ignore the dust and cobwebs, reassuring yourself that there were no spiders because Mina wouldn’t sell you a house with spiders. Because spiders don’t even exist. Because just because there are cobwebs doesn’t mean that there are spiders. 

And as you chanted that through your head, again, and again, and again you were finally able to plug the thing in and- It still wasn’t working. 

One calculated scream into your luggage and after hitting a few buttons, and trying to pull up a youtube video, and realizing that your internet didn’t work, and that your water wasn’t plugged in, you finally were able to troubleshoot your refrigerator and after stuffing your groceries inside, you curled up on a blanket on the floor and finally found yourself able to sleep. 

When you woke up, there was a spider staring at you from your ceiling. 

You screamed and ran as quickly out of the house as you could. 

You tripped over yourself on your yard, and picked up speed as you raced into town. 

If your stylist were to see you in that moment. She would probably quit her job. Running through the city with bags under your eyes, yesterdays makeup still on your face, and your hair a complete mess. 

But you were so scared and desperate that you didn’t care. You ran into the city, running into the first building you saw. 

The small ding of a bell was the first thing you heard before letting the door shut behind you. You let out a shriek scream. 

“Hello?” A concerned (annoyed…?) voice echoed from within the store. You looked around the building you were in, noting the worn wood tables, the polaroid pictures on the wall, the ancient register at the front. You closed your eyes and inhaled slightly. The sweet aroma of coffee beads filling your nostrils. 

“Who do I call about an extermination?” You blurted. He stared at you, which irritated you, solely on the basis that you were fucking terrified. “Seriously what kind of fucking town is this that you’ll just sell a house with spiders in it to just anyone?” 

The man stared at you, his shoulders slacking a little as he took you in. 

“You know that any house, in any town has spiders... Right?” 

You gave the man the most appalled expression you could possibly manage. 

“Who the fuck are you to say something like that to me?” You demanded. The man at the counter let his head tilt ever-so-slightly to the side. You took this opportunity to fix him under a glare that you knew was uncharacteristic of you. 

The man at the counter was tall, short brushed back dark hair, and a plain shirt under his apron that strained a bit against his muscles. You mused over the fact that this town might have a gym. 

You might need a gym if you wanted to still pretend that you had any chance of returning to the acting world. Your most popular role… Was your most physically demanding. 

“Who the fuck are you?” The man said, your change in demeanor seeming to make him realize who he was looking at. 

“Who the fuck are you?” You countered back, just as angrily. You had been on the floor all this time, so you got to your feet. “I’m new to this town and this is how you treat new customers?” 

“I’m the owner of the only coffee shop in this entire town,” the man rivaled. “Do you really want to be on my no serve list?” 

He gestured to a singular picture on the wall off an equally as muscular man smiling brightly at the camera. You highly doubted that this man was genuinely not allowed in the shop. Before you could rival what he was saying the front door to the coffee shop swung open. You and the barista turned over your shoulders to see the boy who had just walked in. 

You remembered him… Briefly. One of the guys from the grocery store. 

He hummed as he walked into the shop, large black headphones over his ears. He wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going. So distracted by whatever was playing in his ears that he was paying no heed to even the tables that he was weaving between. 

You and the barista just watched him in silence, until he stopped at the counter. He looked up at the man. 

“Wonwoo, can I-” 

Wonwoo’s face dropped, and the reaction made the boy finally realize, that this was not his average Wednesday morning coffee run. You had a few seconds to smile and stick your tongue out at Wonwoo before the other boy turned around, and as he did you turned as well, pretending to find interest in one of the paintings on the wall. 

You whistled inconspicuously and kicked your feet innocently. To make yourself seem even more innocent you ran your fingers through your hair… And if it made your appearance seem a little less unseemly, then that was a complete coincidence. 

“Can I…” The boy started to speak, his eyes still on you. Then, you felt his gaze avert. “Can I have my usual?” He asked softly. 

Wonwoo grunted his agreement, and his register began to loudly clink as he rang up the boy. You continued to trail the edge of the coffee shop, not really wanting to risk heading home, and as you did so the two up front began to talk. At first about nothing. The weather, the coffee, and then, as they spoke their voices dropped. 

“You know who that is don’t you?” The boy who was ordering the coffee asked. 

“I know that if they don’t order something soon then I’m going to kick them out,” Wonwoo said, his voice rising with his words. 

You blinked innocently, glancing back over your shoulder. 

“I was just thinking,” you stated, you twirled a strand of your hair around your index finger. “Hmmm… Should I get an americano or a latte…” 

You pretended to be lost in thought, and that made this Wonwoo turn his attention back to the coffee making, his voice becoming hushed again. 

“No, I don’t know who that is,” Wonwoo admitted. Their voices really were quiet. The next thing you heard from the unnamed boy was: famous, and then a few character names, a few song titles. You didn’t have to hear Wonwoo’s response to realize that he didn’t care at all. 

When the boy ordering his coffee realized that as well, he let the conversation drop. Seeming to be more excited to be near you than to gossip about you and why you were here. After not long, he bid farewell to Wonwoo, resecured his headphones over his ears, and wandered out of the shop. 

As soon as the door clicked close, Wonwoo was tapping the counter. 

“So. You’re y/n,” he commented bluntly. 

“And you’re Wonwoo,” you snapped back, crossing your arms over your chest. Wonwoo snorted at your audacity. 

“You do realize this is my coffee shop, right?” Wonwoo commented, pouring a drink into a plastic cup. “I can kick you out if I really want to.” 

You crossed your arms over your chest, daring him to do so. Instead, he sighed and placed the plastic cup he was holding onto the counter. You noticed your name written across it. 

“Just take your coffee and get out of here.” 

Your eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. 

“But I didn’t order anything,” you murmured. 

“You didn’t,” Wonwoo agreed. 

“But your number one fan…” He gestured outside. “He thought he would make your coffee decision for you.” 

You walked up to the counter and picked up the drink. You squinted at it. 

“What is it?” You asked softly. 

Wonwoo murmured the drink he had made, and again you were taken aback. 

“That’s my favorite…” You mumbled in disbelief. You glanced up at the menu running your eyes over the options. It wasn’t like your favorite was anything special, but still… You thought about asking who that guy was. 

“Get out of my coffee shop,” Wonwoo stated bluntly. You stuck your tongue out at him, but considering you now had coffee, you didn’t feel the need to argue. 

You went back to the grocery store and bought some bug spray, and then you sat on the sidewalk out front as you ordered a shit ton of things that you needed on amazon because there wasn’t a furniture store here. Why would there be a furniture store here? 

And, you didn’t have a car. So, it wasn’t like you could just go and get the furniture you needed. 

Normally, you would just call Seungcheol. You always just called Seungcheol. Always pulling out a little whine in your voice as you asked him to do something for you that he would do either way.  

You tapped your index finger against your phone screen. 

You really needed him right now. 

If there were spiders in your apartment back in the city, Seungcheol would be there in an instant. Without you so much as having to ask, he would let you stay at his place while he had a team of people exterminate all of the bugs in your apartment. He would even humor you when you said you couldn’t go back to your old apartment and that you needed to find a new place. 

You turned your phone back on. Waiting impatiently while the phone screen lit up. For a few seconds of peace you were able to open up amazon, without any notifications popping up. 

And then your phone started buzzing in your hand.  

This time you turned your phone on “do not disturb” breathing a huge sigh of relief when the vibrations stopped coming. 

Why hadn’t you just done that in the first place? 

You sat outside for a while as you browsed amazon for all of the things that you would need. A good bed frame, a table, cleaning products…. And once you were finally able to place the amazon order, you sat back on the palms of your hands, satisfied. 

And promptly checked back into Jieun’s hotel for the next few days while you got all of your stuff in. 

There wasn’t much that you felt like you could do in this town just yet. You wanted to wait for the tales of your disappearance to dissipate even more.  

One of the things that you had gotten on your little shopping trip was a brand new phone, so you were able to get back on tiktok on a burner account. Which meant you and your little videos were back. No more awkward dinners with static-y live television in the hotel and no more nights in your house where it felt like a ghost was comically haunting your kitchen.  

Instead, you stowed your old phone away in a box in the corner of what was to be your bedroom, and set out to get yourself really settled in this place. 

You sat there for a while, staring at the unfinished bed frame that you were trying to put together. You sat in the midst of wood, and nails, and your fingers felt raw from having had to touch the wood. The moon light that shone on your face drew your attention up to the sky and suddenly the silence that you had been working in felt suffocating. 

You let your fingers fall still and your head drooped a little bit. 

What were you doing here? 

You hadn't told anyone you were coming. Getting a new phone and phone number was great and all but your old, turned off phone was basically burning a hole in the floor where you had set it. 

You wondered what Seungcheol was doing right now. You wondered if he was thinking about you, or if he was busy doing other things. 

You wondered what all your friends were doing right now... If you could even really call them that. It wasn't like any of them would really miss you. They barely spoke to you as it was. You had spent too many late nights, huddled over your phone, staring at messages with friends who were barely responding, or left without saying good bye, or didn't even respond in the first place. 

You weren't sure really why you were surprised. Or why you were blaming them. They all had their own things they were going through. They all had their own lives. They always tried to show shared affection for you. 

But you wondered, completely and fully honestly if you had left, and the world hadn't gone crazy over it... How long would it have taken them to notice. 

You were aware that you were crying because suddenly you couldn't breathe. Your whole face was burning hot, and your tears were beginning to drip down onto your hands. It was painful in a way that it shouldn't be, but by now your face was so wet and you were so hysterical that all you could think about was how much you hated when your neck was wet, and it started to dampen your collar. 

You gasped for air as your hands wiped the tears desperately off of your neck, tilting your head forward so that the tears would fall right onto the wood floor. 

The stupid wood floor, amongst the mass of wood that you still needed to hammer together to make your stupid bed. 

Images of your finished bed frame floated through your brain and your sobs died down a little. 

Oh it was going to be so nice when you had your clean sheets pressed against your body and you could pile ten million blankets on your body and pretend like everything was okay. 

You checked back into Jieun’s motel that night, and if she noticed the puffiness of your eyes, she didn’t comment. 

- 

Moving into a house was a whole different kind of project. One that you hadn’t really realized would be so taxing. When you had watched it on television- or dare you even say when you had acted it out in movies it had all been cut into a cute little montage that made even the hard work look easy. 

But it wasn’t easy, it was actually quite hard work. 

You were still pretty strong from previous more demanding roles, but you hadn’t quite figured out the AC unit and it was fucking sweltering in your attic which you were determined to flip into your bedroom. Dragging things upstairs to the room was a nightmare. 

Dare you say everything was a nightmare right now. 

And after a long day at work, you needed to eat. 

Desperately. 

You washed your face as best as you could at your house, knowing that you would still be staying at the inn for now, but you were tired of inn food and Jieun had been suggesting you go to one of the in town restaurants since you had gotten here. 

So after you had made sure to pull a hat over your head and throw on some jeans and a hoodie (again, your stylists biggest nightmare) you were out and headed into town. 

You had gotten used to the ride into town but if you were honest it would be nice to have an easier mode of transportation. 

A bike would be a blessing. 

Maybe that would be your next big purchase... You weren’t sure. 

It wasn’t like you were short on money. Money wasn’t an issue. 

You just needed to be a little careful about how much you were ordering to this place and how quickly you did. So that your bank account didn’t suspect anything was up with you and lock your card or something. Now that would be a nightmare. 

Once you got to the resturant in question, a small place right by the water, you walked into the door and awkwardly spotted a sign that said: ‘Take a seat wherever you want, and a server will be right with you.’ You chewed nervously on the inside of your cheeks. 

Right. Okay, this wouldn’t be too bad. You were just a normal person, in a normal restaurant and everyone would surely treat you normally. 

You took a seat by the window so that you could look out at the water. 

A coastal town, you had always wanted to live in a coastal tone. It wasn’t like you wanted to go swimming all the time or as if you were obsessed with the ocean it just felt like a whole different sort of environment compared to just like a farming town. 

You wanted to see the fishermen going out on their boats, and hear the kids squeal in excitement as they were chased up the shore by waves. You wanted the peace of knowing that something so deep and big and vast was right beside you. 

You wanted to feel small. For once in this world. You needed that. 

You heard some whispering from around you and you glanced up to see that you had been spotted. There were two pretty young waitresses who were staring at you with big eyes and right next to them was a small cast of characters. 

Your eyebrows furrowed as you glanced across the restaurant, noticing that there was someone at the bar looking at you with wide, scared eyes. He seemed to be even more shocked when he saw you looking at him. He ducked his head away, but you could see the red in his cheeks. 

Ah, you kept running into him. 

What had that coffee shop employee called him? 

Your biggest fan. 

You sighed, so much for going unnoticed. 

After a few minutes a waitress finally walked over to you. She was flustered, just like any of your fans tended to be. She swallowed hard and bounced on the balls of her feet. 

“Hi- I- Well, okay, I’m Wo-Wonhee.” 

Her stammering was adorable. You couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“I-I well, you’re new in town. W-Well! Maybe you’re not staying- I don’t mean to assume I just, well, you don’t know the menu if you are just-” Wonhee raised the menu quickly to cover her reddening face and turned around to look desperately at the other waitresses and the cook at the counter. 

You squinted at the cute. Tall, buff... Familiar. 

You frowned but didn’t dwell. They were all gesturing towards Wonhee to keep going, but when their eyes fell on you they all nearly comically turned away to pay attention to other things. Suddenly, the guy with the “kiss the cook” apron on was scraping a spatula against an empty pan, and one of the waitresses was counting each napkin on the counter, and the other one was suddenly wiping off a very clean looking glass. 

You turned your attention back to Wonhee who was peaking at you from overtop of the menu. 

“O-Our specials today are clam chowder,” she squeaked. She dropped the menu on the table, and then covered her mouth as if she shocked by her own aggression (even though there was nothing aggressive about it at all). “There might not be anything on the menu that suits your pallet-”  “What would you know about my pallet?” You asked bluntly. Wonhee’s eyes widened at your words. 

“W-Well, you probably like... More expensive-” 

“More expensive?” You questioned blankly. Wonhee looked pained. 

“G-God I’m so sorry it’s just you look... I just assumed-” 

You let out a soft laugh, finally letting a smile cross your face. You leaned towards the waitress a little bit, wondering if maybe you had taken the cold, blunt bit for a little too long with someone who seemed to just be a teenager. 

“I’m just kidding,” you said softly. “I really don’t have some big expectation on food. I’m just another person you know?” 

Wonhee looked at you with something in her eyes that told you that your words were wrong. Something that itched the back of your brain a bit, in a bad way. 

She was right, you supposed. Just another person would not have this many eyes on them. 

But you were. You were. 

“What do you like here?” 

Wonhee’s eyes grew even larger. 

“You would not like what I like,” she said in disbelief. You shrugged. 

“Why not?” 

Wonhee stared at you, clearly having no answer. Finally, she turned away and rushed back over to the other wait staff without saying a word. 

You were honestly surprised by the sudden departure, a bit worried that you had made some mistake. 

You watched as she talked quickly to the others, her voice so shrill you couldn’t understand what she was saying. Then the guy- your biggest fan reached a hand forward and took the menu. The group of them stared at him as he spoke through a few things, and then he looked up at Wonhee and smiled- 

Something happened in your heart. It jumped a little. What was he talking about? It was crazy how caring he had just seemed. 

Was he really your biggest fan? Did he really know that much about you? 

Your finger dragged across the worn wood of the table, and you felt the bumps in it. It reminded you more of your childhood. The way that tables at fast food places would feel worn and lived in. 

This whole place felt lived in. The pictures and newspaper clippings on the wall were old and yellowing. The booths looked like they were tearing a little. 

You ran your fingers across the leather and sighed. 

You missed this. You missed how easy and comfortable this was. 

A small glass clanged onto the table and you looked up surprised to see Wonhee standing there with a cup of juice and a cup of water. 

She was still nervous, fidgety and scared to look at you. 

“Your food will be out soon!” 

And then she was rushing off again. You watched as she rushed away, feeling a bit puzzled by her behavior. 

Still, you tried to shrug it off. 

It wasn’t long before the food came out. You frowned as she practically abandoned it with you on your table, eyeing the plate of food a bit curiously. It was... Exactly the sort of thing that you would like. You picked at it suspiciously and placed a piece in your mouth. 

Flavor burst across your tongue. Not only was it a dish that you could see yourself enjoying every day. T was also the best version of that dish anyone could have possibly even imagined up. 

You took a glance back over to your biggest fan and found that once again everyone was staring at you with large eyes. They all cowered away from your gaze, including him, pretending to be doing whatever ridiculous task was closest on hand. You sighed, and returned to your food. 

Well, it seemed like at some point you would have to meet your so called biggest fan. 

The next day you decided that you couldn’t look at your dumb fucking house at all and decided to instead explore the little town that was your brand new home. 

You had always wanted to live in a small town, a desire that now being lived was hammering itself loudly in your mind.  

Everywhere you looked and turned you were staring at another part of a dream you had never actually imagined you would live. 

A coastal town with cobblestone roads (oh god how you loved cobblestone roads), old brick buildings of antique stores and bookshops along a main street that you could practically see decorated for festivals right there. 

Your fingers clenched and unclenched themselves as you thought about the sorts of festivals this small town might hold. Fishing festivals, flower festivals, god it was like you were living out Stardew Valley but you didn’t have to farm for money. 

Thank god, you knew from killing the few succulents you had ever owned that you would not be able to run a farm. 

You felt yourself drawn to a few instruments in the window of a music repair shop. You pushed into the shop, a small bell ringing out. At the counter, the boy you had kept running into was standing right next to… Well, the other boy that you kept running into. 

The other boy, the taller boy perked up at the sight of you, while his friend froze. The two stared at you for a few seconds in which it was obvious that they had recognized you. 

You pressed your lips into a small smile. 

“Hi,” you said. 

The two stared at you, before the taller boy seemed to regain his sense. 

“Hi,” he breathed back. The sound of your singing drifted through the store as the three of you stared at each other. The taller boy sharply elbowed his friend. 

“Oh, uh hello.” 

You took that as the freedom to start to walk around the store. You heard the boys begin to frantically whisper to one another as you wandered through the store, but you mostly ignored it, before you heard avid whispered protests and all of a sudden the taller boy was right next to you. 

“Soooo…..” He introed, causing you to glance away from the drumset you were studying. “What brings you into our fine establishment?” 

Town. He wanted to know what brought you into this town. 

You played dumb. 

“Instruments,” you said lightly. “I do like to look at instruments.” 

In the midst of your breakdown you had decided that you never wanted to touch another instrument again. But… Being in this store actually brought you more down to Earth than you had been in a few days. 

“Right… You like to look at them.” 

You could see the boy turn over his shoulder to mouth something at the other boy out of the corner of your eye. 

You continued to play dumb. 

“Well, I am Seungkwan,” he said. You gave him a small smile and nodded. 

“It’s nice to meet you Seungkwan.” 

You didn’t offer up your name and instead continued to look around the shop, eyes scanning past old and frankly unpopular scores of sheet music. As you looked over it, your eyes fell on the other boy across the room. He still looked a bit starstruck. 

You gave him another pointed smile. One that you always shot fans when you saw them outside. 

“And your name?” 

“Jihoon.” 

His voice was airy. You gave him another nod. 

“It’s nice to meet you as well Jihoon.” 

Your eyes looked up past him, a guitar on the wall catching your gaze. 

“Hey- That looks just like mine,” you said suddenly, walking up towards the counter. You pressed your hands on the counter as soon as you got to it, leaning across it in order to squint at the dark blue guitar. On one hand… It looked like any old dark blue electric guitar and it shouldn’t necessarily standout to you. 

You had promoted this song one time that you actually had a guitar solo in that you did live on stage. You vividly remembered what had made the guitar so special was that the base of it was splattered in what looked like little stars, making it look just slightly like space. 

“It’s even got the stars…” You mumbled. “You know I had the guitar specifically made for that come back, and I learned how to actually play it for promotions.” 

Both of the boys were silent. Maybe they had already known it. You leaned a bit further over the counter, catching the something at the bottom of it. 

“It even has the same scuff mark…” You murmured. “Wait is that my guitar?” 

You glanced at Jihoon, who was standing like a deer in headlights behind the counter. He nodded once. 

“No way!” 

You didn’t really think before you had both of your palms placed on the counter and you were hauling yourself up on it. Seungkwan made some sounds of protest as you put both of your feet on the counter, and reached for the guitar on the wall. You took it off of the wall, and ran your hands over the worn out guitar strap until you found the stitching of your album name on it, and the small signature you had left on the back of the guitar. 

“Who bought this?” You asked, the excitement evident in your voice. You turned around to look at the only two guys in the store, and Seungkwan wordlessly pointed to Jihoon. Jihoon cleared his throat and nodded. 

“Yeah, uh… I liked that song when it came out.” 

“The guitar went for thousands when it was sold. I heard the auction for it was crazy…” You murmured. 

"It was nothing for this guy," Seungkwan said, grabbing Jihoon by the shoulders and shaking him excitedly. "I mean he is practically your biggest-" 

"I just love guitars," Jihoon interrupted meekly. You wanted to prompt Jihoon more on this comment, but even as you were going to say something your head was turning a bit and you were catching a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of a mirror against the wall. Your head tilted back at it for a second guess, probably a reaction that went unnoticed. 

But it was enough for you to get a good look at how you appeared to these men right now. Your hair looked perfect, a smile spread over your lips as if there were fifteen cameras on you. Your face was natural blushed, and somehow that and your hair made you look completely radiant. 

Even your clothes which you had assumed when you put them on were mismatched and made you look plain were making you stand out in this moment and the way that you were unintentionally posed just brought the whole thing together in a neat bow. 

Your shoulders drooped a little, and your smile wavered. 

You carefully returned the guitar to the wall, and climbed back down on the counter. You scratched the back of your neck. 

"Well, it's a nice little shop." 

As you made awkward goodbyes to Seungkwan and Jihoon, something frustrating bounced back and forth in your head. 

The feel of that stupid guitar in your hands. 

You should have known better than to pick it up. You should have known better than to think about your old life, but when you saw it... When you realized it was yours, you just couldn’t hold back. 

And the second your fingers brushed the strings. 

Fuck you missed working. 

You missed it so badly. 

You had forgotten how much you enjoyed it. Having a purpose. 

Sure, right now you had plenty of things that you wanted to do. Plenty of things you needed to get done. 

You still had to paint your walls and clean out the oven. You still had to fix your fireplace and set down some rugs. 

But once you were done with all of the many things you had to do to make your home liveable... What was next? 

Yes, you had a house. Yes, you would be in a new city. But you would have no life. 

And you desperately needed to have a life. 

You shook the thoughts of your head. 

This was a later problem. Right now, you needed to figure out your house. You could deal with everything else later. 

As you walked towards your home you eyed the coffee shop you had visited when you first arrived. You tilted your head in thought and before you could really think twice you were pushing into the little shop. 

The bell rang as you walked in, and there was a smile on the barista’s face until he realized who was there. 

“Didn’t I warn you I would ban you?” He asked bluntly. You frowned back at him. 

“Are you seriously holding a grudge against me?” You shot back, your blood bumping suddenly in irritation. “Do you even know how immature and frankly unprofessional that is?”  

The man, Wonwoo rolled his eyes. 

“Are you here to order or to argue?” 

You crossed your arms over your chest. 

“I’m now debating whether or not I want to give you my business.” 

“Great!” Wonwoo said with false enthusiasm. “Then get out.” 

Your jaw tensed. 

“Give me that drink that you gave me the other day,” you said. You finally walked up to the counter pulling out cash. Wonwoo eyed you. 

“What’s the magic word?” 

You stared at him. 

What was his problem? 

“I’m a paying customer-” 

“You actually haven’t paid me anything yet,” Wonwoo replied bluntly. Your fingernails dug into the beds of your palms. 

“Please make me the drink that my biggest fan requested you make me.” 

Wonwoo gave you a mostly constricted smile and tapped a few things into his register. An ancient piece of metal that you didn’t even think you could properly call machinery. 

Wonwoo rattled off the total and you stuffed too much money into his hands. 

“Can you count?” Wonwoo deadpanned. You gave him a glare. 

“It’s called a tip, just take the money.” 

Wonwoo shrugged and took the money. 

“It will be out in a second.” 

He turned around to start working on your drink without another word. As he worked you let yourself soak in the little coffee shop. Your eyes trailed over the tables and the pictures on the wall, your eyes narrowing in again on the smiling picture of the ‘banned’ man. 

You squinted at the man, thinking about how familiar he looked. You walked closer to the picture, which was slightly behind the counter. As soon as you stepped there, Wonwoo turned around. 

“Excuse me-” 

“Who is this?” You asked, ignoring his clear aggravation. 

“He is about to be your best friend if you keep breaking all of my rules,” Wonwoo replied bluntly. “Just because you’re some super star doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want to.” 

The picture in front of you blurred a little bit as Wonwoo’s words melded into your thoughts. His tone was the same as it had been since you walked into the shop- Well, the first time even, but it hit different right now than it did before. 

Did people think that you just did whatever you wanted to because you were objectively famous? It wasn’t like you had done all of the things that you had done in order to get this sort of attention and treatment. 

You had never chased fame, or attention. You had always just sought to do the things that made you happy. 

You just happened to be good at those things. You just happened to have a best friend willing to be your manager early on and you just happened to get really famous for what you loved doing. 

Acting, and singing, and writing and everything in-between just happened to be something that had brought all this attention to you. Something that turned your name into something more than just a name, but into a brand. 

Was this what that brand had turned into? Is this what people thought about you? 

Did everyone think that you had left the industry because you were some brat who suddenly hadn’t gotten their way? 

Your fingers reached out and brushed the bottom edge of the photograph of the supposed banned customer. You pulled at the corner until it was off the wall and in your hands. 

You couldn’t really hear anything anymore. There was this sort of haze that had suddenly covered you, and all you could hear was the nothingness caused by the overwhelming sound of every thought in your head pounding against your skull. You stared at the photo until it was just a blur. 

Until your eyes were hot and your face was hotter. You stared at it until you realized that you were being stared at. 

You saw that Wonwoo was standing there, and you saw your coffee in his hand. 

He said something to you, but you were so focused on the picture that you didn’t hear a word he said. 

You blinked once, twice, and then you pushed the picture into his hand, took your coffee, murmured a thank you and left his shop. 

By the time you got back to your house you were still breathing, thank god, but you would do absolutely anything to get these negative thoughts of out your mind and so you did the only think that you could do. 

You started to unpack. 

Seven straight hours of work, with the background buzz of some sort of fantasy world music playlist in the background and you were able to get way more done than you had imagined. You painted one of your rooms and ordered rugs and dishes from Amazon. You swept the floor and finished assembling your bed and setting the clothes you did have on hangers in your closet after dusting and wiping down all of the surfaces. 

With a mattress and a clean set of sheets on your completely assembled bed you felt pretty accomplished. 

Sure, some decor was needed, and you had managed to get a few boxes here from your other place that wasn’t unpacked but this house was certainly living up to be exactly that... A house. 

You slid down onto the floor, finally letting the exhaustion of your day hit. 

You needed to eat. 

You rummaged through your things as you stuffed a sandwich into your mouth, not stopping your search until you found your plethora of pills. 

You cupped them into your hands and stared at them for a few moments before tossing them into your mouth. 

You swallowed your meds, and finished off your soda. The fizz tasting so refreshing... You wished that you could crack open another one, but the sleep meds were going to take over soon and you knew that you wouldn't finish it. It would just be a waste. 

You sighed, your body slumped a bit as you set aside your meds. You knew that you should get up and climb into bed soon but... Instead you peeked into a box next to you. The glint of a small golden metal statue caught your attention. You pulled it out of the box, feeling the cold metal in your hands. 

It was heavy in your hands. You sighed. This was such a joke. 

You let it roll out of your hands onto the floor and your eyes caught the time. 

You should probably go to sleep before your nightly crying fit hit.  - Up Next Staying Still... Out June 13th 10:00pm EST

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

The Great Divide Masterlist

Genre: Small Town RomCom with a dash of Angst

Tags: No smut to be seen; y/n is depressed, sad, lonely, self-obsessed, broken, and a little crazy; barista!wonwoo, famous person!yn, genderneutral!yn, fan!Jihoon, Slice of life core, change your life core, find yourself core.

Summary: Sometimes to find yourself. You have to let yourself break, and then put yourself back together again. One disgusting piece at a time.

Part One: Now Playing... Dashboard

Part Two: Staying Still (Out June 13th)

Part Three: Porch Light (Out June 20th)

Part Four: Epilouge ( Out June 27th)

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

ogmgogm you gotta lmk how it goes kdjdje !!

I WILL MY WIFE AND HER FEMALE FRIEND AND JACOB ARE ALL GOING LEOS TEAM PLAYS SECOND AND WE’RE ALL MATCHING BLACK DRESSES IM SOOO EXCITED I ALREADY HAVE MY MAKEUP DONE CAUSE I WORK TILL 8 AND IM GETTING SO MANY COMPLIMENTS AND MY HAIR IS PERFECT SO FAR LIKE PERFECT

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

He wasn’t there 😒 His brother was, and we cheered for his brother and he talked to us after in passing and I found out how to say their last name, and I felt so bad cause Isaac was sad but he won their first game!!!

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

ogmgogm you gotta lmk how it goes kdjdje !!

I WILL MY WIFE AND HER FEMALE FRIEND AND JACOB ARE ALL GOING LEOS TEAM PLAYS SECOND AND WE’RE ALL MATCHING BLACK DRESSES IM SOOO EXCITED I ALREADY HAVE MY MAKEUP DONE CAUSE I WORK TILL 8 AND IM GETTING SO MANY COMPLIMENTS AND MY HAIR IS PERFECT SO FAR LIKE PERFECT

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

omg like i dont believe in overdressing 😋😋😋 ohmgogm YOURE EATING QUEEN 🙏🏻🙏🏻

-uwu

🥰🥰🥰

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

ofmgofm how abt putting some pwetty bows n charms on your hair asw 😋😋

OOOHHH I CAN DO THIS

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

OMG THASSO CRAZY IDK WHAT A POINTS LEADER IS THO #dummyme

YOURE NOT A DUMMY IT JUST MEANS HE HAS THE MOST POINTS OF EVERYONE IN THE LEAGUE RIGHT NOW

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

BRIE i was waiting for you to talk abt leo 😭😭 today

I WAS WAITING TO TALK ABOUT LEO TODAY BUT I DIDNT HAVE ANY NEW INFORMATION I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO START THE CONVO WITHOUT SOUNDING OBSESSED

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HIS TEAM WHICH IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER HIM ON TUESDAY IS NUMBER ONE IN THE TUESDAY LEAGUE AND I ALSO JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE’S A POINTS LEADER

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

What should I wear Tuesday is Nayeon too much. KEEPING IN MIND MY WIFE WILL LIKELY MATCH UP PRETTY CLOSELY AND WE LITERALLY DRESSED LIKE PARTY GIRLS ONCE AND IN PROM DRESSES FOR THEIR “FINALS”