As I’m nearing graduation from the hellish, soul sucking experience that is law school, I’ve been feeling very reflective about what I’ve really learned through the past 3 years. Here’s my short list:
1. The scum sucking lawyers that are the subject of jokes and overall hatred are not assholes because they are lawyers. They came to law school that way and refined their narcissistic douchebaggotry to a fine art there.
2. Law school is not for the sensitive. It’s not about learning anything useful. The end goal is not to learn anything practical (if that were the case we wouldn't need to drop another $2000 on bar prep classes after law school), the goal is just to do better than everyone else by whatever means necessary. It’s all about competition and comparison. Doing well is not the goal in itself.
3. There are no jobs. If you’re not in the top 10% of your class, maybe even the top 5%, forget it. Plan on finding a sugar daddy, or wearing a paper hat, until you pass the bar and quite possibly beyond.
4. You may think you’re cynical before you start law school, but it turns out there’s a whole nother level you didn’t know about. No matter how hard you try, no matter if you do everything right, you’re still going to be disappointed at the end. And you’ll be in debt for the rest of your natural life, so plan on staying in that mental space for a good long while.
5. People actually really do suck. I’d thought by this time in my life I’d be used to being used, screwed over, and thrown away. Turns out, you never get used to it, you just get embittered.
7. If I could do it over, I wouldn’t. In fact, can I have a do over on everything since 2010? That’d be great.
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