GOAL DIGGER

I'm Zileena and I've got the dreamer's disease.

[leigitimate]

So much to say, so much to defend. Too much explanation.

But you know what I’ve realized? That we should choose our battles wisely, the words we say, the emotions and time we invest. It’s definitely okay to choose the people we let in our life; wiser enough to know who encourages growth and not suppress it. Because they influence who you become eventually. The people with manners, common courtesy, compassion, and radiates positive vibes. You shine even brighter when someone gladly lets you love yourself even more. 

But of course, you should also be in the process of becoming the best version of yourself. After all, the world is not cruel but sadly the people who lives here are. Nevertheless, continue to be good, do not conform to the pattern of this world. Be the salt and light. Manifest love in all ways, always. At the end of the day, you have the right to be inspired by your life. I know it’s not easy but just keep doing good. I hope you never forget that. 

Let us not grow weary of doing good for in due season we will reap if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9 

[leigitimate]

2018

God knows how this year broke me into tiny little pieces. I definitely was at the lowest point. Yet He also made sure I’d get back up and grow this heart even bigger than before. 

Today 01-23-2019, I am writing this to share my thoughts, a long list of lessons learned and just to say thank you and my sincere appreciation to some people who became part of this journey. 

This year has taught me that we must not fear to lose what needs to be lost. Because sometimes, that is the only way to find pieces of ourselves again. I cannot stress enough how much pain I’ve felt this year; tears I’ve shed, people I have hurt with the choices I made and the consequences I got from all those decisions. But I’m still thankful that it all happened, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if these things didn’t happen at all. To become spring means accepting the risk of winter, right? 

2018 didn't start so well but I'm grateful for the people who gave me a little spark in the darkness. My friends and family. Having experienced rock bottom makes me 10 times more afraid to endure pain and setbacks. But it’s normal, it happens; it’s part of the process,  it will get better, and  we will slowly bloom again. 

So I wanna say thank you...

To you, my first love. 6 years ago, we became special to one another, no commitment but we both knew that we were more than just friends. And then it all stopped. We decided to end that so called relationship. You are my first heartbreak. Then, 3 years after of not seeing each other, no calls or even messages. You came back, that even after all those broken promises and heartbreaks. I gave it a try, we both gave it a second chance. I even broke another person’s heart, I left him because of my love that I had for you. I was the happiest girl alive when you told me that you’re willing to pursue me, that you still love me and we will work things out for the best, together, you and I against the world. However, things didn’t work out, again. But hey, I just want you to know how much I’ve loved you and I wanna thank you. I’m so happy for all the moments that we shared. I admire you for being so driven and passionate when it comes to your professional goal. I believe in you and I will always be proud of you, no matter what. I pray that God will give you the desires of your heart. Stay connected with God. Just like what you always say, No other way but Up. 

And of course, thank you also to you...

Hello, I know that you’ve been hurt a lot because of what I did to you. I know you think that I wasted all your efforts when we were still together. But I wanna tell you some things. I appreciate all of them and things you’ve done to me, surreal. You became my outlet, comfort and confidante for almost 2 years. And I am so thankful, seriously. I know the pain you’ve been through because of me, and words aren’t enough to express my apology. Believe it or not, my feelings for you are real, the love and the happiness with you, they are all real. And to be honest, I just realized how persistent you were in pursuing me before, how blessed I am and that you don’t deserve the bad things I’ve caused you. I know that you will find the right person who will treat you better, the worth pursuing and will love you most. You deserve the kind of love you keep giving to everyone else. Thank you for everything, to you and to your family. You may not be my first love, but you have a special place in my heart. Know that your worth comes from God alone and not on earthly things, okay? Put Him in everything you do. Pursue your dreams, future engineer. 

A year ago, I used to ask a lot of whys in my prayers, but this year God taught me how to love life and all the challenges that came with it. It has been a year of loss, but it has also been a year of so many wonderful beginnings. Life has a funny way of making sure you end up at the right place and I live for those overwhelming moments of pure joy when you know just how much God loves you. Even when you feel like breaking and falling apart. He knows your pain; He's been through that, too. And He will not let you face that alone.

2018, I am my own plot twist this year! Here's to being okay with saying no to things that are detrimental to personal growth, learning how to control thoughts, taking more calculated risks, pushing limits, giving more, being more, encouraging self-care, and spreading more kindness. I hope we all spend more time with the people we love. Let’s have faith that there is more to these burdens beyond what our mind can comprehend. Whether it is pain or passion that lies in your heart today, know that it will never cease to have some purpose in your life. So to You, I will cast everything I can't control and do not understand.

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagle; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isaiah 40:31

[leigitimate]

Some days, I miss us. Some days, I wanna be mad. Some days, I don’t care anymore. Life is so strange sometimes. And out of vulnerabilities, there comes strength. 

In days like this one when it hits you harder than usual, take a deep breath and pray. You’ll get through it. Better days are coming. :)

[leigitimate]

My sin was great, Your love is greater.

[leigitimate]

I only know that in the Cross, God’s no to His only Son was turned into God’s yes to every human being who ever lived. 

[leigitimate]

No matter how good or how kind... Everyone has a breaking point.

But the thing you should understand is that not every season is your season. There’s going to be plenty of seasons in your life. Some will be confusing; some will be challenging; some will be devastating; some will be frustrating. Some will test you to the point of giving up. Some will stretch you, sharpen you and make you better. Some will be called breakthroughs, some will be considered victories. Because, it’s true, if you’re not dead, you’re not done. Trust the process. Trust Him. 

[thoughtcatalog]

I hope that you choose love again and again and again, no matter what has happened to you in your past. Don’t give up on it. Your entire being is composed of it.

(Source: thoughtcatalog.com)

[cometothetable]

“You are not the woman you used to be. You have conquered all thus far, by the might of My strength, and I will continue to sustain you. I have called you out of the darkest place and brought you safe into my loving arms, returned to home once again. Cast away the old! Take on the new garment I have laid before you. I reach for you with My nail-scarred hands. I conquered the grave so that you may lay aside the pain of this world and take root in my love. You are Mine, and I will never let you go. The world around you may feel like rejection, fury, danger, unstable, and ever-changing; though fix your eyes on Me because I am never shaken. In Me, you will find forever security. I bent down and scooped you up off of the filth you once lied in. I have cleansed you and given you My righteousness to wear. Take rest in this, for it is freely given to you. I’ve loved you when you have least felt worthy to be loved. Forget the old, for I have also. I have no recollection of the past, I only see the future I have in store for you. Enlarge your tent, daughter, for I am about to give you surplus. Prepare. Open your vessels and hold out your hands. What you have lacked I am going to provide. You, My daughter, are My pride and joy, and it gives Me great satisfaction to give my child her desires according to My will. Wait expectantly for Me to work in your life. What others have said was impossible will see your Father is a God of possibilities. It is time to move forward. Walk with Me, hold My hand. Together we will walk through your journey, and I will never leave you. I know the road ahead. I know every bend, bump, and curve, and I see beyond what you can. With Me as your guide, you will not fail. I am with you always.”

— Jesus, the One who loves you unconditionally. (via imiracleamor)

[thoughtcatalog]

If you’re reading this and you’re still young, you’ve got to fight for your existence.

(Source: thoughtcatalog.com)

[leigitimate]

Lei! Kamusta ka na? :D

Hi! Im fine! :)

[leigitimate]

▫️Never settle for less. ▫️Set your heart on higher things. ▫️You are worth the wait. ▫️You deserve the best. 💓💓💓

[leigitimate]

A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms. 🌸🌺

[leigitimate]

Visit Original Link

  In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the ordinary sounds I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through I watch as lovers pass me by Walking stories - whos and hows and whys Musing lazily on love Pondering you I’ll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell When it’s time to walk that way we wanna walk it well [CHORUS:] I’ll be waiting for you baby I’ll be holding back the darkest night Love is waiting til we’re ready, til it’s right Love is waiting It’s my caution not the cold there’s no other hand that I would rather hold the climate changes, I’m singing for the strangers about you don’t keep time, slow the pace Honey hold on if you can the bets are getting surer now that you’re my man [BRIDGE:] I could write a million songs about the way you say my name I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start, neither should I rush my way into your heart

  I really really love this song. It gets me kilig whenever I’m listening to this. hihi The song says it all… Love is waiting….

[leigitimate]

Reposting this again because it's good to be reminded every once in awhile. Hehe fave ❤️

[leigitimate]

I'll miss you like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.

"You're all I ever wanted

You're all I ever loved.

I want to shout so loud until it blows you away! I want to punch you in the face until it bleeds, for you to know how much it really hurts.

I want to drown you so hard, So hard that you'll lose your breath, for you to know how hard to breathe without you.

I want to hug you so tight, So tight that it will knocked you down, for you to know the feeling of being left in the ground.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Am I the only one who's really attached between us?"Yes, we didn't get that far in our relationship but you're my greatest love. I still shiver whenever I thought of the "I miss you" texts you used to send me.

Maybe I got overwhelmed for the first time that a guy told me that he likes me. Maybe, just maybe..

But you're different.

I don't know.

I always tell myself, "I moved on" But the truth is I'm not, I was not.

But I WILL. Maybe someday, I WILL.

I hope.."

[leigitimate]

A lot like love

I’ve been liking someone for years. I don’t know if “love” is the right word to describe my feelings for him but I guess? For me to love someone who makes you want to be a better you, is one of the best type of love. This explains everything about us… It’s my 4th year in high school when I first met him, I already blogged about how I knew him, the first getting-to-know-each-other days, “kv moments”, especially every time he talks to me and catch him staring. My friends & I used to call it kv/gv moments btw, that was before hahaha.

It all started with one look/sulyap. I don’t want to be in so much details na because Im too lazy to tell the whole story.

But to make this long story short, At first I don’t really notice him but as the time goes by, I find myself being infatuated with this guy… I mean It’s just an admiration. Kaso di mapigilan.

I had a feeling for him, yes “had” because those were the days when I realized that all the things he’s doing for me was just a sort of “friendly gestures” only.. Kapag may ginagawa syang mga bagay na nakakapag pakilig sakin, I always tell myself to not assume because he’s just being gentleman and that’s how he show his friendliness. Kaya pinigilan ko yung nararamdaman ko sa taong to. Pero sa totoo lang may oras na naramdaman ko na special ako sakanya kaya may part sakin na umaasa na meron pero sobrang pigil kasi nga BAWAL MAG ASSUME. I’m confused. Hanggang sa  akala ko nawala na, akala ko hindi na babalik… It’s a free fall. It happens naturally when you don’t do anything and force it to become real

2 years ago, I fell in love with this person and now, I am head over heels in love.. with the same person, the same person I have loved 2 years ago until now. I still fall for him everyday… Yet, he don’t have any idea how much I like him, how much I want him to stay in my life forever, to be my first and last. But what I would love even more is to know if I have ever had the same effect on him. Nevermind…

I don’t have any guts to tell these things I am feeling for him, Besides, sooner or later, I know he will discern all these but not at this very moment. 

I am just so happy with what we have right now. I’m contented with the friendship we have. I don’t want to contemplate about what will happen in the future. God’s will be done forever and ever. I am precisely enjoying the present. And that is what’s important, to be happy and contented. I am very much willing to wait for that perfect time and as I wait patiently, I will grow.

Pero hindi ako nagmamadali, alam ko marami pa kong hindi nalalaman sa mga bagay bagay at marami pa din akong dapat matututunan. Basta ngayon, masaya ako. I thank the Lord for helping me in every decisions I am making and guiding me all the way. I’m praying and hoping.

This blog was posted over a year ago, I wrote this last December 28, 2013, 10:35 am. I blogged this and made this post private. I’ve decided to wait for the time na ipupublish ko to. And here you go, I guess it’s time…

To the keeper of my broken yet still beating heart, To the one who had me at my worst and to my REAL first love, I wrote this letter a year ago. I wanted you to know how much I really loved you. You know sometimes, your first love will make you realize that your "first love" wasn't really your first love. Because YOU, you are my first love, my real first love.

Sometimes I asked myself, why couldn't we have met at a different time? 

There are times when It feels like there’s nothing we can do to make things better and here I am thinking about giving up. But then I remember why I held on for so long and I've got hundreds of reasons why. However, the important thing is that in every arguments, mistakes or problems, we are learning and sometimes things need to happen because it’s all part of you, us, getting to the next part of our self. The next day..

I know I am truly one of the most complicated and frustrating person, I am the one who will always start an argument and throw tantrums yet you’re still there to understand me. You still manage to make me smile. Thanks for trying.  

[leigitimate]

After all this time, I still feel the same

I miss you.

[israelmekaniko]

What if may dahilan talaga kung bakit gusto makilaghiwalay nung boy sa girlor girl sa boy? What if may reasonable reason sya diba? Bakit parang kung sino yung nakilag break sya lagi yung najujudge? Bakit laging 'naghahanap' daw sila ng ibang lakandiin? I just want a wise opinion:) ps. Im your fan

Nung nabasag ko yung baso namin, kanino ba nagalit yung nanay ko? Sa akin o sa baso? Siyempre sa’ken dahil ako yung may hawak. Ako yung naglet-go kahit di ko naman sinasadya. ( Kahit kita niyang nabubog na yung paa ko at lahat.) Ako nasugatan lang. Yung baso basag na basag.

Para kasi sa iba, "being in a relationship is an everyday decision". Choice mo kung siya pa rin ba yung pipiliin mong makasama araw-araw. So kung ganitong klase yung kahulugan ng relasyon para sa iba, yung awa ay laging andun sa iniwan at hindi sa nang-iwan. At kahit gaano kareasonable yung reason ng nang-iwan, siya talaga yung unang huhusgahan ng iba dahil siya yung unang hindi tumupad sa gasgas na pangakong “Hinding hindi kita iiwan”.