āThe real reason you go to Vietnam is you accidentally see your soon-to-be ex-husband kiss someone else. At first you think, āOh, itās a fling; Theyāre drunk, itās a party.ā But then he puts his hand on the small of her back exactly the way he used to do to you. It means, āIāve got youā, and when he did it to you it made you feel safe, and you realize he will never do that to you again. And it breaks your heart again, after your heart was so broken that you thought it can never get any more broken. You thought it was safe but it still somehow finds a new way to break. Because even though youāre the one who asked for this, now that youāve got it, youāre completely adrift, with no compass or map or sense of where to go or what to do - so you go to Vietnam. You think you might find community, a connection to something bigger, but you donāt. In fact, you feel even more alone before you left. But you survive, you learn that you can survive being alone.
Iām really happy for you Mr. Peanutbutter.ā
