Bly

✨Mind Dump✨

[lemons-and-ashes]

Today, I cooked ground beef in two different ways.

[lemons-and-ashes]

In my fave corner at a UCC coffee shop

[lemons-and-ashes]

Back from Caticlan.

A part of my heart is still there. I had this feeling that I somehow belong. Then I searched the maps and turned out I lived in that same island when I was around 7 years old and stayed there for a year or two. Roxas is in that same big island. I really miss the talaba and the crabs and the seafood that I remember in my childhood. The memories may fade but the flavor of talaba is something I will never forget. I even met some tribes there. Philippines is a beautiful country.

So here is my drawing to materialize the trip.

[lemons-and-ashes]

What my working station looks like at the end of the week.

Today is Friday, but I was forced to work overtime due to urgent unexpected bugs we had at work. Due to a deployment that I was against (personally), but I don't have a say lately in these decisions. At the end of the day, we will all just face the consequences. In this case I am directly affected and I am not going to be mad about it. I plan to also let them know of the consequences, I will only work on urgent ones and leave the rest for next week. Tomorrow is our wedding Anniversary, so I will turn off my notifications at work.

I initially pushed back to the their target timeline, but I was told by my direct manager that by me saying no to our director sounded like a disrespect. Well I don't know what politics and what feelings I may hurt by saying no but business is business and I was just trying to be reasonable and transparent. All of my teammates are very concerned about the way things are being done, no testing, direct deployments to production, no clear written requirements, the involvement of a lot people in the meeting with each own opinion and nothing is settled and my direct manager that also don't know how to push back to their expectations.

Sorry for the rant but I was immersed in work lately and I feel liken my world revolves around here now.

Regardless of those problems, I am happy to say that I do love working with them. We had a meeting earlier and we are all laughing at it. I am so glad they are just like me that is laughing at serious situations, oh I would like to mention that we are laid back and ranting a little bit in that call because the director is NOT in there. I guess we just have a very demanding top leader. I guess she has a lot of pressures too on her side or maybe it is for her ego and pride, because they tend to have those. And they all talk about AI. I don't think they know that it's not applicable to all their employees. For me, if I will translate what they said in the general meeting: They will utilize AI, see how it goes and will not add new employees. They will train the employees to use AI instead.

I am online and I agreed to say yes to overtime because we have an early Saturday roadtrip so I am now packing bags and just online at work for visibility but I am not really doing 100 percent actual works. I did around 40 percent and I called it a day.

[lemons-and-ashes]

No alarms, no surprises please

[lemons-and-ashes]

Hindi talaga ako umiitim, kasi na ssunburn lang ako then it will peel completely in a month and the color will fade after three months and I will be back to my old color.

[lemons-and-ashes]

I really like to wake up internalizing these quotes that I put here on my bedside rack. But all I could see is the dirt and dust lols. So I planned on sleeping and waking up early to clean(which I did). And that day is not calm at all but a productive one. Maybe I could say calm just because I felt productive? I really am seeing now that being stressed came from being unorganized

[lemons-and-ashes]

Today, I said that I am so busy at work. Right after saying that, I heard my husband doing all the household chores downstairs. He's doing the dishes and taking out the trash and some other things that needs to be checked.

[lemons-and-ashes]

I ate a lot of ‘Kamoteng Kahoy’ last night.

Kamoteng kahoy is something like an equivalent of potatoes in the west. It is a starchy root crop food that you can grow in your backyard and its a staple in every provinces in the Philippines. I had mine given by my husband’s aunt, Ninang Janice. A sister of his father. We went to their hometown. Alvin last saw her since he was around a pre-schooler.

The house is a semi furnished investment and you can see a lot to be improved and it is a modern house that complements the surroundings. I can say it hasn’t reached its full efficiency yet. However, the people in it are very cozy and warm. They have welcomed us with open arms. I met Ninang Janice for the first time and she has this angelic face, she looks young to be a mother of three. I could tell she got her eyes from her mom. So I asked them for a photo of their late mother. I figured Alvin may want to see her as he never got a chance to met her in person, she died 2 weeks before he was born. They searched but no one has it. Until their father arrived and he showed us this very old small black and white picture from his wallet. And I thought this is the coolest thing ever. The photo is wrinkled, tested by the times. It is old but is kept safely in his wallet that you can sense the nostalgia in every corner of that two dimensional thing. Physically plain but it holds a bucket for your imagination and you can picture her with her 5 boys and a daughter with their Kubo. Her and her husband farming while their children are running around, her oldest taking care of their youngest. Something that you can watch on a very old Filipino film. I can still see a glimpse of it when we passed by their barrio with the dirt road remains that are not yet cemented and by the way the boys they tell me stories about the old times about this whole road was muddy during rain and so dusty during summer, making it difficult for transportation so they often walk miles. That day, that is not the only story I heard as they all gathered in circle in that house. Almost all of the siblings are complete, only one missing and cannot attend to this short notice. This is not a reunion but it became one because of a sudden gathering due to a death of one of their cousins. This is an unplanned surprise. I immediately initiated a group photo of this rare day. They look great. Growing up in a female dominated household, it was fascinating to just observe and listen to their stories and bickering.

Tita Janice is a fine host, she offered me suman, bili-bilo and a meal. I hesitated for a second but got too shy to refuse. I ate the whole thing and all the food I was given. They complimented how talkative and friendly I was, a quality she wished her future daughter in law possesses. I was so full that even at the wake ceremony I need to still eat biscuits, sopas and was offered coffee. All I managed to consume. The drive back home with just me and my husband is filled with backstories we just experienced.

I showed this photo to my family and they immediately noticed how I somehow look a little like her.

[lemons-and-ashes]

Summer outdoor shower

[lemons-and-ashes]

Quiet nights at home after cooking and cleaning the dishes

[lemons-and-ashes]

Picking books to bring and songs to sing!

[lemons-and-ashes]

2025 major shits:

1. Got a feud with a neighbor and she threatened to file a barangay complaint and I said go ahead because I am 100% confident I will win. My husband pushed back and negotiated a deal that will favor me and that I wanted all along and they agreed because deep down they know the truth. So I won in the end. But it's a huge toll to my husband's emotions. I can fight my own battles but I remember I am a married woman now.

Feud Summary: Parking rights and how they accused me of using profanity language. But you know me, I don't curse to a person directly, ever. They have no records so no, they will lose this shit👎

We always park at our own parking space. They are blocking the driveway so I had to confront them. They are insulted instead of being ashamed.

2. Fast forward to me getting involved in someone's mess and ended up being in the blotter book in Pasig 😂😂😂

Well it was all verbal and I was just speaking the truth, so good-luck to them. But I have no business inside that dorm aside from getting my sister's things and saving her away from that hell with that evil board mate who always films her. If only my sister listened to me to put fish sauce in her pillow this would've been so much easier. That bitch filmed my sister without a bra on and a nipple showing so that was my last straw. I stormed there and blurted out the sad reality of her life to her face. I didn't even use curse words. I have a way of hurting people with my words. Sometimes just saying the things they don't want to hear will do the trick and laughing at the sad reality of her life.

[lemons-and-ashes]

My husband and I are exploring a sport right now. We figured gym is not for us, I find it too boring or forced.

[dreamstars]

[04k96]

[lemons-and-ashes]

One evening during the COVID-19 pandemic, my grandma and I slept in the same room. I asked her about her favorite songs from her time that she still remembers. I created a playlist and played it. We got ready for bed and turned off the lights. I vividly recalled when she said, "Sana lagi kita kasama para ganto tayo lagi," which means she wished I could be around so we could have moments like this always. I cried myself to sleep that night. I ordered a portable radio with a media player and downloaded these songs and added some recommendations. When she was hospitalized during the pandemic, the radio stayed with her until she passed away. I hope the music helped her in any way. I just know that we both enjoy listening to music and I love that I will always remember her like this.

For Lola's Ears

One evening during the COVID-19 pandemic, my grandma and I slept in the same room. I asked her about her favorite songs from her time that s