My Seemingly Endless Numbered Days

There are names across the sea, only now I do believe. My musings. My obsessions. My journey. My life.

[lenalulu]

The Invitation - By Oriah

You = me = you.

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

[lenalulu]

It's #Monday and I miss #HIMYM, 'How I Manifest Yellow Monday' :D #☂️ #📯 *I think I have... 10 years ago.

[lenalulu]

Nothing distinguishes memories from ordinary moments. Only later do they become memorable by the scars they leave.

[lenalulu]

Winds and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the Gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy. It resonates despite my agnosticism.

Maester Aemon Targaryen in Game of Thrones

[lenalulu]

#NoteToSelf Character eventually catches up. Every single time. #❤️

[lenalulu]

Feeling #fortunate and sleepy 😅 #Chibird

[lenalulu]

The human problem. #AlanWatts #humanproblems #consciousness

[lenalulu]

#AlaindeBotton on #travel that strikes a chord. #❤️

[lenalulu]

No one says as eloquent as #AlaindeBotton 😍😙😚#❤️ the Frank person vs. The Polite person (at London Borough of Bromley)

[lenalulu]

This is what we should actually think: Other people have been nasty because they are in pain. The only reason they have hurt us is because they are - somewhere deep inside - hurting themselves. They have been catty and derogatory and foul because they are not well. However outwardly confident they may look, however virile and robust they may appear, their actions are all the evidence we need that they cannot be in a good place.

[lenalulu]

#quokka should be the spirit animal of many people... 🤣😂 (at Rottnest Island, Western Australia)

[lenalulu]

The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness.  (Loneliness is nothing more than just being alone to me; but boredom is a wasted life)

Hugh MacLeod

[lenalulu]

The struggle is real. #rmdrk nails it everytime.

[lenalulu]

My new hobby and a sign of aging? #nibplusink #calligraphy

[lenalulu]

#repetto #brigitte is probably the most elegant #balletflats

[lenalulu]

...through the act of reading my words, the patterns that form your thoughts become an imitation of the patterns that once formed mine. And in that way I live again, through you.

Ted Chiang 

I only understand this level of intimacy now. This must be why I would sorta fall in love with authors sometimes though I know nothing about them outside their words.

[lenalulu]

Is it possible to fall in love with a man’s writing like I’ve fallen in love with him?

‘We are living in a culture entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time, in which the so-called present moment is felt as nothing but an infinitesimal hairline between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. We have no present. Our consciousness is almost completely preoccupied with memory and expectation. We do not realize that there never was, is, nor will be any other experience than present experience. We are therefore out of touch with reality. We confuse the world as talked about, described, and measured with the world which actually is. We are sick with a fascination for the useful tools of names and numbers, of symbols, signs, conceptions and ideas.’

This is haunting. I thought he’s describing the world now since it’s so resonant today, only to realize that he’s passed away more than 40 years ago. Some subtle but real struggles are really universal and transcends societies.

Thanks to Brianna Wiest’s Soul Anatomy. I’ve been a fan ever since I stumbled upon her ’Not Everybody Will Love You In A Way You Understand’ in 2014.