&& –– How many { people } in my life do I let PASS without speaking? How often do I go HOME wishing I had not crushed my own passion? When will I LET it happen? Why have I KEPT my lips shut t i g h t ?
lennox glanced out of the side of her eye, looking for the issue. "um.. yeah ?" she finally answered. "it's not like it's going to kill you to grab my ass a few more times."
starter inspired by this tweet open to m/f must be 18+
"i could finish this entire bottle if you let me... you better make sure you get some before it's all gone." lennox warned the other as they trailed into the tiny bathroom that made for a perfect hideout.
okay so my mom is watching dave chapelle, and i habe to jump on this so gonna call it a night. but tomorrow i will be back and better than ever. night night cuties~~!!
“No, I never have a lighter. How high are you?” Laurel replied, voice monotone and dripping with her usual dry sense of humor. Lenny knew better than anyone that she would never jeopardize her training for a momentary high. She got all the adrenaline she needed from boxing, after all. When she caught sight of the pack of cigarettes in her friend’s pocket, Laurel couldn’t stop herself from grabbing for them - her hand moving quick and undetected until the pack was already out of Lennox’s hands. She looked at the pack with mild contempt, before glancing up at her friend and lowering her eyebrows. “Oh grow up,” she chastised. “This isn’t some fucking beat poetry poem about the romances of losing a friend, Lenny. Lung cancer isn’t gonna solve your problems.”
usually lennox could put up with laurel's bullshit, but not today. no one was really patient or in a good mood on this particular day. “laurel, fuck off.” she hissed, shaking her head. before she knew it, her pack of cigarettes was outof her hand and now in the other’s. “are you fucking serious? laurel, stop fucking playing.” she reached for the box missing every time. “you grow the hell up!”
andrew was growing restless, and him being here around these people who were wasting their energy sobbing over estelle was making him less inclined to stay in town, but alas, estelle always had something up her sleeve, and she couldn’t just leave without doing one l a s t thing. what that thing was puzzled andrew to the point where he just wanted to get it over with and leave. the fact that estelle couldn’t confide in her friends was driving him nuts. W H Y did she do this? W H Y couldn’t she just get help? andrew knew about the stigma surrounding mental illness, but everyone in this group of friends… they weren’t judgemental… or were they? were they that bad that she didn’t have the guts to trust them anymore? the male continued to search for a familiar face midst all the sadness, and he stumbled upon lenny, one of the few people he kept in touch with after graduation. “of course i do, len,” he lightly smiled, reaching into his pocket and retrieving his black lighter. “after all, you sorta fostered my great affinity to weed,” he teased, taking a seat next to lennox.
lennox rolled her eyes up at drew, cracking a small smile that didn't take long to wither away. “apparently that’s what i do best.” she shrugged with a sarcastic smile. part of her gave a shit about what was appropriate in this setting, while most of her didn’t give a fuck. all she could do was make dark jokes to cover up her immense pain, being that sparking up what she really wanted wasn’t going to be a possibility. she slipped a cigarette out of the pack and stuck it between her lips, leaning forward for drew to light it. “you want one?” she mumbled around the stick in her mouth.
“ no, i—i get it… i just thought that was why you were like… staring, you probably weren’t though, my bad. ” attie stumbled slightly trying to untangle the apparent misunderstanding they found themselves in. “ how are you holding up, lenny ? ” she finally questioned, awkwardly reaching to rub the other’s back soothingly.
"i'm sorry attie... you're right, i was staring, you do look great." lenny retreated feeling foolish in this moment. truth was, lenny was envious. even after everything that was going on; attie still looked incredible and was still far more impressive than lennox could ever be. she ran her hand over her exhausted face in effort to get her shit together. “i got seriously no sleep last night. it’s been rough, i still haven’t wrapped my head around everything. i... how are you holding up?” she changed the subject.
side note: gonna delete and redo all of my replies bc i never saw that post about where we were in the timeline of the rp. doing that now and yeahh if you’re like?? this is different. it will b mwahaha
this was a cemetery. those were roses in front of a tombstone. the sky was cloudy. her dress was black. this was a funeral. this was reality. lennox spent a lot of her high school days in cemeteries with friends surrounded by laughter and jokes, but this was was nothing like that. when you lose anyone you're close to, it's hard; but loosing a best friend... traumatizing. as lenny sat on the open bench, she sighed deeply. all she could think about was when she could get high again. she couldn't deal with all that was going on around her... the tears, the gloom, all of it... it was too much. "do you have a lighter?" lenny asked the person approaching her as she reached in her sweater pocket for her box of cigarettes.
( currently eating cake w my mom and watching a movie, so I'll be off for a little bit. But I'll be back to clean up my act and make some more appropriate starters and replies 😂)
a nervous smile pulled from the c o r n e r of her nude petals once she realized the other’s gaze was on her, the attempt of a tug on the locks no longer there soon accompanied the gesture, making her forget for a second the b l i s s she had been in the moment as she literally felt the scissors cut off her long hair. the way she had felt lighter, it almost vanished as she STARTED to overthing—-not unusual. “ … does it look that bad ? ” she finally questioned, her mind immediately going to the ( worst ) place possible, ignoring for a second how simply shocking could’ve been the makeover in general, that without mentioning the silver ring that now adorned her nose.
"i mean... it’s different ?" lenny said unsurely. “i don’t really know what to say, sorry attie, there’s just a lot going on right now... it’s not bad at all though, i'm just used to the long look so i think it's going to have to grow on me." she stumbled over her own words trying to do this social thing right now.
It was rare for Laurel to feel tired, and yet here she was feeling more mentally exhausted than she ever had. People she barely knew, bawling their eyes out over a girl they didn’t even know - or like for that matter. It made the 21 year old sick. If they actually cared, they wouldn’t be crying. Not a chance. They would be tearing at the walls in anger, they would be screaming out of hate for their friend’s selfish actions, not crying over some tragedy. A tragedy? hardly. As far as Laurel was concerned, a tragedy wasn’t self-inflicted, and every bone in her body felt nothing but white hot anger towards her best friend for leaving in such a spineless way. An accidental brush on the shoulder snapped her out of her thoughts - the touch only made her blood boil even more. She shut her eyes as her body tensed, taking a deep breath before glancing at the culprit. “Don’t.” she stated, voice low, body rigid and lips pressed into a thin line.
it was early in the morning, and though lenny and laurel loved each other deeply any other time, the space they now shared was filled with tension because of their new reality. both girls had very different outlooks on the decision estelle made, and they both had very different ways of coping with the outcome. an already buzzed lennox tried to slide around laurel to reach the fridge, but her current state made he lack of grace even worse. her arm brushed against laurel's, causing lenny to laugh. but that was laurel's reaction at all. "chill..." she smiled, opening up the door to the fridge.
schizophreniawell, i'm finally sober and just a little hungover, but that won't stop a damn thang! my name is kendall and i came here to do one thing and one thing only... okay, actually a lot of things, but we're gonna start with me introducing you all to my problem child (drumroll plz) ... LENNOX SHADFORTH . lover, liver, and child of wu-tang. PS: THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO DELT WITH MY SHIT LAST NIGHT AND WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
warning, this is the beginning of the long story (there’s a shorter version down bellow) ... ⌀ actually born, eleanor alycia shadforth, lennox grew up in boca raton,fl with two relatively young parents who were a direct product of "high school love". they not only served as a living example of how powerful that bond could prove to be, but they also were living proof of how much BULLSHIT that whole expectation is. they did well in their first years working and living by the beach, but by time their baby girl was born their problems began to grow larger than just, “who’s gonna out the groceries up?”.
⌀ by time lenny was eight, the volatile battlefield her parents harbored in their household was far too much for either party to deal with. the two decided to split. lenny’s father refused to leave his decent job by the water, and lenny’s mother had nowhere else to go but her own mother’s house back in jupiter, fl. so, lenny was forced to leave behind all of her new friends from her primary years in school to follow her mom to live on her grandparent’s ranch.
⌀ forced to attend a new school in a completely different county; lenny felt displaced and unappreciated. throughout her upbringing, she was tugged back and forth between her new home in jupiter and her old home in boca raton every other weekend.
⌀ looking for refuge and stability in her life, lenny shut both of her parents out and grew very close to her grandmother who taught her everything from how to cook to how to tend to the horses on the ranch. she also grew very close to her friend from primary school, estelle. their beach homes were right next door to one another, so play dates and sleepovers were a given.
⌀ a few years of the shadforth’s parental tango continued on, before lenny’s life was changed forever. when she was only twelve years old, her grandmother died as a result of a spooked horse kicking her in the head. the death of her grandmother took a toll on the entire family, but especially lenny.
⌀ lenny felt extremely responsible because she knew if she were in the stable that weekend, she could’ve done something to stop the horse. her love for horses burned out, and it was clear. finally the huge difference in the girl’s behavior caught her mother’s attention, and her parents made the decision to move her back to boca raton full time.
⌀ although the move was meant to take lenny’s mind off of her loss and surround her with old friends, the timing couldn’t have been worse. she was moving back to boca raton in the middle of her middle school years. the time when kids are most hostile and ....
okay i’m realizing that this is very long and unnecessary, so if you’ve made it this far.... i appreciate you. but i’m gonna wrap this shit up in a sweet summary, bc even i am getting tired of myself.
basically... lennox was the product of two people who just really shouldn’t have been married, they split up and lenny was forced to move with her mother up to jupiter, fl to live on her grandmother’s ranch. she and her grandmother were super close and would often ride and care for horses together. during those years lenny also would go back to boca raton to visit her father every other weekend, where her friendship with estelle (her neighbor out there) continued to strengthen. at twelve, lenny’ grandmother died bc one of the horses went a little too wild, and it had a huge effect on the girl. her parents tried to help by moving her back to boca raton full tie to live with her dad, but things only really got worse. bc she moved during middle school, kids bullied her pretty bad, calling her names like space cadet and e.t.. her only friend left in the city, estelle, would often defend her but that wasn’t enough to really get her spirits up. when she was just in the eighth grade, she got mixed up with “the wrong crowd” and began smoking weed. the rush of being so bad and falling into that destructive lifestyle began to give her an escape from the guilt of loosing her grandmother. he wore being an outsider like a badge of pride, and it began to drive a wedge between she and her dear friend estelle. that entire year the two girls just drifted further and further apart. the less time they spent together, the more trouble lenny got into. although the two girls were nothing alike at this point, they still loved and missed each other. the summer before high school, they both agreed to accept once another for their differences and to walk into this new year and new school stronger than ever. it was actually estelle’s idea to give lenny a new start and to drop her actual name, crowning her with the kickass name, lennox.
lennox and estelle went into high school looking like the good and bad conscious next to one another, but that sort of became their thing. as the years went on, friends were made and so were great memories. lenny continued on with her reckless ways, strengthening her chill yet lazy attitude, while estelle continued to grow stronger relationships with other people in the group. a bit jealous, lenny came up with a plan to keep her and estelle from ever drifting apart again. convince her to just try smoking. somehow she convinced the golden child to hit the blunt, and estelle’s world was changed... and far more than lennox could ever imagine. studies show that cannabis actually has the ability to trigger symptoms of schizophrenia for those who have a genetic history with the disorder.
things seemed as if they were going great for lenny... she and estelle were closer than ever, even smoking together regularly. everyone graduated high school and went on with their lives, while estelle and lenny both stayed in boca raton. of course estelle was using her free time to actually get things done with her life, while lenny continued on with her lazy stoner ways. she bounced from job to job, eventually getting kicked out of her father’s house and turned to estelle to give her a couch to crash on. looking for easy work, she turned to selling weed, where she began to pick up drug habits far worse than thc. during their time living together, estelle told lenny everything about her disorder but made her promise not to tell a soul. lenny was shocked and terrified for her friend, but she knew estelle was strong, she figured she’d keep pushing on. the weight of what estelle went through didn’t register to selfish lenny.... not until she returned home to a roommate lying dead in their bathtub. the sight, the guilt, the reality... it all traumatized the girl. it was like her history was repeating itself, and just like she did with her grandmother, lenny blamed herself. with lenny not being a real tenant of her and estelle place, she was forced to get a real job, but still surfs the couches of her friends. lenny is almost always high, just trying to cope with the pain and shock of all of the loss she’s faced. those close to her deal with her bullshit and accept the dumb decisions she makes as “that’s just lenny”, but this downward spiral lenny is falling into quickly could turn into yet another loss for the divine nine (yes i just named them that haha).
welp so, that summary was meant to be short and fast but somehow got extra and long af too. i’m so sorry guys, idk why i’m such a mess. i must be hella in character, but yeah if you read really any of that and you’re interested in plotting HIT A GIRL UP !!!!! i swear i don’t bite, and if you don’t believe me, just like this post and i’ll message you first.
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