Life, Love and More

[leona8]

Long distance love or to go with him?

Having a long distance relationship can be hard to sustain, it can be torture, it can be pointless but sometimes it can be worth it. I have had my share of long distance relationship but this time I want to write about a friend.  She met a guy, seems like a nice guy, hung out in a group, I saw he treated her well and could tell he is really into her and her...well, she let him be into her, lol.  But, that was at first, now she is into him as well, and very much.  They have been seeing each other for about 2 months I believe, not really keeping count but it has not been long, and they both feel like it works.  He won her over by showing her something she had not experienced before in a relationship and she won him over because she is awesome, I mean she is my friend and I know she is worth it, lol.  Anyways, when they started taking it seriously, she knew he was moving to another state for a job, she knew and she thought it would not matter because she did not think she would fall for him, maybe like him enough to hang out and enjoy the company and that would be it but she was wrong and now she feels a little upset that it got this far knowing he would leave but at the same time, she is having the time of her life and even talking about maybe, a possibility of going with him.  But of course, there are things stopping her, fear, timing, security, etc.  We could agree that it is too soon, that they do not know each other enough to take that step but I told her she had to make the decision for herself, that if she wanted to leave because she wants to live in a another city, because she truly cares for him and wants to stay in a relationship or simply because they are in love and plan to make the move together, whatever her reasons, she would have to be sure about it.  I also brought up the fact that there is not much holding her back here, barely her job, and some family members but nothing that she would cry for.  I hope whatever decision she makes, she is happy and if she does decides to go with him, I hope that it works out and if she decides to stay and wait for him, I hope they can wait a year to be together again and maybe pick up where they left off or start over.  I am a believer in love and I believe love can accomplish a lot, but it is not enough to sustain a relationship.  I hope they do not hurt each other but it could happen.  Or it could be the best decision they ever made...to be together. 

[leona8]

What’s the Update?

Okay, so first thing is.. I am a married woman.  A completely different experience this time around but I do not want to make it seem like my first marriage was horrible, it was bad, lol, but it was a learning experience.  Big lesson is, and I stand by it, DO NOT GET MARRIED YOUNG.  When I say young, I mean younger than 25 yo.  Don’t get me wrong, you CAN be in love at a young age but that does not mean you are ready to make that commitment.  The first commitment we should all make is to ourselves, love ourselves, respect ourselves, etc.  I had to learn a lot about myself and grow as well to be able to have a healthy relationship with my now husband.  I couldn’t be an insecure little girl anymore, I had to leave it behind, I had to let my wall down and accept I would not get far holding on to the past.  And now, I am happy to have the love of my life, a man who has made me a better person, who has helped me get through the hard times and someone I can be myself around and don’t feel shame. I know what some people might think...so corny, lol.  And yes, there is a lot of that because well, I am a woman in love and I am a woman who loves a lot and expect the same from him and until now, he has done so.  In our way to our first anniversary, all I think about is having a family because I know he will make an awesome dad.  There is a lot more that has changed, and thank God it has been mostly for the better.  I am where I am but I want to keep moving forward.

[leona8]

Back to Basics

It has been a long time, even forgot I had this blog.  Now I am wondering why it took me so long to come back.  Maybe there was something I needed to find, to see, to experience. I am back, but what to write about? 

[leona8]

You are confusing when....

When you make excuses for others even though you know they are wrong....

When you compare some to others even though they are nothing alike...

When you bring up issues from the past, you keep that person from moving on...

When you don’t acknowledge our hard work and you put others before us.....

When you are clearly biased but you won’t stop trying to defend what you think should be the only side of the story......

When you talk bad about others, then turn around and say they are the best....

When you look the other way, then suddenly you are watching our every move...

When you exaggerate your accomplishments just to make us feel below you...

When you think you have us fooled, but you are really just fooling yourself....

When you realize you can’t break me anymore, but you still can’t accept I am better than you ever thought.

[leona8]

We deserve to be happy

For a long time I felt I did not deserve anything good in my life.  When something did not go my way, I thought it was because I did not deserve it.  I started to doubt everything happening and always said it was too good to be true.  I know a lot of people might feel like this but we cannot let ourselves feel and think like that.  Sometimes, is about timing and sometimes we did not try our best even if we thought so.  It sucks we can only realize this when time has passed and we look back and see what we could have done differently but we did not.  Still, we blame ourselves or others, we start to resent the people around us and we also start to mistrust every opportunity we get.  It is a vicious cycle that some  can never get out of.  Those of us who are lucky to catch a glance of how it could be if we just changed our attitude and our expectations but more important our reactions, we start to feel hope and from there we go.  It is not an easy road, we might need help, support and that is why we cannot be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.  WE CAN BE STRONG even if its a little at a time. 

[leona8]

Time has passed

A long time since I typed my feelings, a long time since I wrote anything down or thought about sharing my thoughts. But right now, at this moment something tells me to keep going.  No reason, no thinking about it. just do it.  

[leona8]

In less than an hour, the 13th will come.  With it, the memories of the past 3 months, memories of how much our love has grown, hopes of our future and the feeling that we will be okay no matter what may come.  I love you and you love me.  Some people might not understand or agree but that is okay because I will still love you tomorrow and the next day and I won’t care what they say.  Our love is about us, and no one else.  I only hope another 3 months come and many more after that because I have a feeling I will never stop loving you, that I will always think of you, and that I will always need you.  I love you babe….

[leona8]

You see right through me.  You break me and put me back together.  You push me and you catch me.  You piss me off but then you make me happy.  

You are a dream but you are real.  And you are mine, you are the love of my life.

[leona8]

Hopes go Higher

You don’t have to explain, you have said enough. I was never part of your plan Im the one who thought more than so Im at fault for letting my hopes go higher every day Im at fault for thinking I had found a love that would always put me first But I have been selfish Now I see I have to let go

[leona8]

You were you

You had plans before you met me. You had aspirations before you met me. You had a life before you met me. Who am I to make you give it all up or postpone it?

[leona8]

Being with you has made me a new, better woman. A woman who is not afraid anymore, a woman who knows her worth, a woman who deserves to be loved. I never thought I would get here, I never thought I could find a man who loved me so much. I never thought I would meet the man of my dreams so soon after my heart was shattered. But, I met you, perfect in my eyes, kind and handsome. You saved me from my past, you made me feel alive again, you put my heart back together and now is in your hands. I thank God every day for putting you in my path. You truly are the love of my life.

[leona8]

"It might be easier if I didn't care. It's as if that is how you want it to be. But threats don't scare me anymore. I got nothing to lose. I lost it all a long time ago..." -Anonymous

[leona8]

"I don't take things as they come if they bring me down".....

[leona8]

The more you talk bad about others, the more you make yourself look bad......because no one is perfect, and you thinking you are better than others rubs people the wrong way.....let's be humble for human kind's sake.....

[leona8]

I know. I have known for so long. And now you know that I know.

[leona8]

Someone new...

I have found someone new.  But it is not the shine or the new car smell that makes me smile.  It is the hope of a second chance.  It is the hope that someone could love me more.  It is the desire to have him close.  If he were new or even old, it wouldn’t matter.  All that matters is that he brings happiness to my lonely world.

[leona8]