I Was Born For This

Creating Mental Giants In The Game of Softball

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Perspective is Key

As athletes, we experience both the positive and negative sides of sports. Although the victories are sweet, it’s always the losses or mistakes you feel the most. After a mistake or a loss, it’s so hard to see anything but the negatives in that moment. Sometimes the mistake or loss is so heavy in our minds, it snowballs into an ongoing cycle that we can’t break. In softball and baseball terms, these cycles are called slumps. 

During my sophmore year of college, my team had made it to the Women’s College World Series (WCWS). It’s everything a softball player works for. To have an opportunity to play in a WCWS and possibly win a national championship, was every softball player’s dream. Although it was a breath-taking moment, I was entering my first WCWS with the longest slump of my career. I hadn’t gotten a hit for the last 24 at-bats before entering the series. I was so nervous that my slump continued for the entire first game of the series. 

Moving into our second game, I remember going into the bathroom to calm my nerves. I was reflecting on everything I had done wrong up until that moment, and I found myself crying from the disappointment. As I heard more and more of my teammates lacing up their cleats and putting on their uniforms, I realized I was going into what could be the last game of my sophmore year. I rememeber walking out of the bathroom and seeing my seniors pumping everyone up. They were cheering, banging on the fence, and getting everyone ready for battle. Seeing them give every ounce of themselves to get us ready changed my entire perspective. I was crying about this being the last game of my sophmore year, while this game could’ve been the last of these seniors entire career. Were they in the bathroom crying? No. They were cheering everyone on and making sure we were ready to play. 

I changed my perspective and found something to play for. I no longer wanted to do good for myself, but for my team. I wanted to win so my seniors could have another game to play. As the game started, I felt different. I wasn’t thinking about my slump or my nerves, all I could think about was playing hard for my seniors. It lit a fire in me that changed my entire game. As I stepped into my first at-bat, I felt fearless. I knew I had something to play for and it gave me the confidence I needed. I ended up hitting a homerun to win the game for my team and we moved into the semi-finals of the WCWS. 

As I reflected on the game, I realized how changing my perspective helped me not only break my slump, but also break the fear I had of making a mistake. My focus was so clear that the past mistakes, nerves, and anxiety had no room in my mind. I was only focused on doing my best for my seniors. By changing my perspective, my mind was clear, my focus was clear, and my confidence was restored. Many times in sports, it’s very hard to change our perspectives. Athletes get so caught up in the mistake or loss, the focus is all about them. When you’re able to change your perspective, you’re able to see your losses as lessons. You’ll start finding the postives in negative situations, and you’ll see how changing your perspective changes your entire game. 

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Overcoming Failure

I remember my collegiate career like it was yesterday. As an incoming Freshman, I was always so afraid to do anything wrong. I was afraid to strikeout, I was afraid to make a mistake, I was afraid to fail. Just like all athletes, we strive to be the best. We want to be the ones holding up the trophy at the end of the game, and we all want to be the best our sport can offer. But unfortunately, a perfect career with zero failures is impossible. It took me until my senior year of my collegiate career to understand, “Softball is a game of failure”. Although it’s hard to understand these words as you read them plainly, it’s important to understand the meaning behind them.  

When I first heard the phrase, “Softball is a game of failure”, I didn’t really know what to think. Was failing ok since softball is a game of failure anyways? Was I supposed to be content if I lost? These were the kind of questions I asked myself when I thought of the phrase, “Softball is a game of failure”. When I talked to my teammate about this, she explained how the best, All-Americans, and even Hall-of-Fame athletes fail at some time or another. She showed me specifically, the “best” softball hitters in the country have batting averages of .300 - .400. As a hitter myself, I look at these batting averages in awe because these are the kinds of averages you want. But my teammate explained that these averages just mean these hitters are getting out 6 to 7 times for every 10 at bats. Understanding this changed my entire outlook on failure. 

From the beginning of my career, I always beleived that I had to hit a homerun every single at bat. I put so much pressure on myself, that I would usually strike out. After my teammate broke down how even the best fail 6 times out of 10, my mindset changed. I realized that failing is a part of the game. I realized that it’s ok to fail as long as I learn from my mistakes and move on. I was now looking at failure as a part of the game instead of something that would hold me back from being the best I could be. Changing my attitude towards failure ended up changing my entire career altogether. The first three years of my softball career ended in low averages and in much need of improvement. After changing my mindset and attitude, I ended my career as an All-American with a .342 batting average. 

As I look back on the differences between my first three years and my last year, I give all the credit to changing my mindset. I was no longer fearing failure, but accepting it and learning from it. It has changed my life to where I now understand that failure is not only a part of softball, but a part of life. I can’t control everything, but I can control my mindset and my attitude towards things that don’t go my way. As an athlete it’s important to undersatnd that failure is a part of any game. It’s how you repsond to that failure that sets you apart from the rest. 

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Trust Yourself

The day of an athlete is filled with conditioning, training, practicing, weight lifting, and extra reps. We train our bodies and push ourselves to the limit. But when it’s gametime, we second guess ourselves. Time and time again, you get into pressure situations and your nerves start to get the best of you. But why? Why do we crack under pressure? Why do we feel like we can’t overcome these situations? It’s because as athletes, we forget to TRUST ourselves. 

Have you ever knew the right answer to a test question, but something inside you kept making you second guess your answer? You probably studied all night, but for some reason, you keep questioning yourself. This is the same feeling that happens during pressure situations - when the game is on the line. Instead of trusting our abilities and training, we second guess ourselves and begin to question whether or not we are prepared for these kind of moments. 

Throughout my collegiate softball career, I had plenty of these moments. I would train all week; extra conditioning, extra weight lifting sessions, and extra reps. But as soon as the game got tough, I started questioning myself. I remember a specific situation where the game was on the line and I was up to bat with a runner on third. Instead of savoring this opportunity to win the game for my team, I was hoping my coach would substitute someone in to hit for me. My mind was already defeated before the at-bat started, and I ended up striking out. Although I was prepared physically, I was not prepared mentally. I didn’t trust all the hard work I had put in throughout the week and ultimately, I did not trust my abilities or myself. 

As athletes, we get so caught up in the moment, that we forget about all the hard work we put in to get us to that moment. We forget that we have been playing this sport our entire lives. We forget that we have trained all year for these moments. We forget the talent that we hold inside ourselves. We forget to trust ourselves. 

In the following week, I asked one of my coaches to hit with me after practice. Instead of hitting, she sat me down and explained how all the extra work I put in only works if I trust it during the game. She said, “You can practice every day, but if you never trust it, all that extra practice is just a waste of time”. This conversation stuck with me and I thought about it every day until our next game. I ended up getting myself in the same situation; game on the line, runner on third, I’m up to bat. This time I wasn’t focused on what I needed to do or what pitch I was going to get. Instead, I cleared my mind and I told myself, “You got this, you’re ready for this”. I ended winning the game for my team and most importantly I learned how to trust myself.

As I continued my collegiate career, I focused my energy on trusting myself and my abilities. I still trained hard, but I didn’t let that training go to waste. I always told myself, “You got this, you’re ready for this”. As a former athlete it’s hard to trust yourself, but as my coach said, “You can practice every day, but if you never trust it, all that extra practice is just a waste of time”. From one athlete to another, don’t let your time go to waste - make it count and remember, “You got this, you’re ready for this”. 

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Practicing Mental Toughness

Just like any other skill, it is important to also practice mental toughness. Your mind is your most important tool as a player. It is so easy to go back to your old ways and get down on yourself when things don’t go your way. In order to help yourself get past those feelings of defeat and frustration, try these 3 simple tips.

1. Positive Self-Talk: This simple tip can be done at any time, any where, and in any situation. From home, practice, and even games, you can always use positive self-talk to get yourself in the right state of mind. The more you feed yourself positive energy and thoughts, the more you start to believe those thoughts. As many great coaches say during losses, “They didn’t beat us, we beat ourselves”. This statement is true for even the best players in the world. Many times, it is not the competition that stands in our way, it is our own selves. With this tip, you’ll start learning how to build yourself up and turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. 

2. Having Short Term Memory: Have you ever made a mistake during a game, and for the rest of the game that mistake was all you could think about? You’re not alone! In one of the biggest games of my life, I remember costing my team two runs because of an over throw I made. All I could think about the entire game and the games after was my error. I let it eat at me so much, I made the same error the next game. What could I have done to prevent this? Having short term memory or in the words of Pactrick Murphy, “Flush it”. As players, we have to learn how to move on quickly. We can’t keep dwelling on the past because the game continues whether we like it or not. In order to help ourselves grow and become mental giants, we have to learn how to have short term memory. Learn from your mistake then turn your focus to the next pitch. As you start building that short term memory, you’ll start to forget about those mistakes and learn how to focus your energy in other places. 

3. Building Up Others: Our last tip focuses on building the people around you. When nothing seems to be going right, it’s very hard to get your mind off yourself. You think about everything YOU did wrong, you think about everything YOU need to work on, and then you start telling yourself how much YOU suck. Everything starts to be about YOU. In order to get our minds away from that negativity, focus your energy on building up your teammates. If you feel yourself starting to get down, start cheering louder for who ever is hitting or on defense. Look at the player next to you and pour your positivity into them. By doing this, your focus is no longer on yourself but on the team. As you work on this tip, you’ll find yourelf more invested into how the team is doing instead of how you are doing. 

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Conquering the doubts.

As athletes, we train and push our bodies to be the best they can be. We come to practice early, stay for extra reps, and do it all over again the next day. In all that practicing and perfecting, we forget to train the most important factor of our game; our mindset. 

As a former athlete myself, I can recall all the workouts, conditioning, training, and studying. I remember early mornings in the weight room, hot afternoons on the softball field, and late nights in studyhall. But one thing I can never recall, is taking the time to work on my mental game. Throughout my career, many of my failures did not come from lack of skill but rather lack of confidence in myself and my abilities. I remember having all the confidence in the world when it came to practice. My swing was lose, my body was relaxed, and my mind was clear. I would hit ball after ball over the fence, only gaining confidence from swing to swing. Unfortunately, during the games everything was different. 

As some athletes can relate, game situations come with a lot more pressure than practices do. Some athletes thrive while others fall. Unfortunately, the pressures of the game would consume me and my failures would be the only thing I could think about. During key moments of the game, I would tense uop and start to think about all the things that could go wrong. The homerun hitting, full of confidence, and ready to win girl was no where to be found. During the first three years of my career, this was a constant cycle. It was not until my last year I decided that I had to change something. I trained harder in the weight room, but most of my focus was on my mindset. I read countless books on how to be mentally strong, watched motivational speaker events, and even listened to podcasts that helped create a strong mindset. I challenged myself to use my failures as learning opportunities. I always spoke positivity to myself and focused my energy on building myself up. My focus was to silence the doubts that constantly filled my head. As my season started, I challenged myself to carry this changed mindset into each game. 

As each game passed, I noticed such a huge change in my game and attitude. I started seeing consistancy in both my skills and mindset. Key moments where I would usually fall to pressure, I was now succeeding. I used to hate the big moments and now I found myself wanting to be the one who saved the game. I was ready both physically and mentally. I knew I was ready and it showed. I ended my career as an All-American and I made the All-SEC team as well as the All-Defensive team. As I reflected on my career, I realized my success came from the changes I made with my mental game. I finished my career as a confident and strong player who believed in herself. I no longer doubted my skills or my value. But most importantly, I was able to take this attitude and newfound confidence to my everyday life. I carry myself differently and I know I can handle anything life throws at me. As an athlete it’s important to train all aspects of the game both physically and mentally. As a former athlete and now coach, I train my athletes to never quit on the field and to be warriors in their minds. When I see them in action, I can see the doubts being silenced by their overwhelming confidence and hunger to win.  

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Purpose of this blog

The purpose of this blog is to create mental giants within all softball players. What is a mental giant? It’s a player who refuses to lose! This is the kind of player that has a “never-say-die” attitude. This blog will focus on creating this kind of mindset within all softball players, at every level of the game. 

From the best player on the team to it’s weakest link, this blog will focus on creating a mental giant within everyone. Through various posts and conversations, players will gain insight on tips and tricks to creating the stongest mental game they never knew they needed. 

Through this blog, my goal is to help all softball players gain a sense of trust and fearlessness when it comes to their own skills. As a former player myself, it is easy to focus on gaining skills such as speed, power, and quickness. But as usual, we forget the other essentials to success such as confidence, grit, and fearlessness. I hope this blog ignites a fire to not only play fearlessly, but live fearlessly.