Based on @kokoorok's Fallen Angel AU. Normally when I do fanfic, I go into more detail than this (the shrine part was really not as fleshed out as I wanted it to be) but I mostly wanted to get this done ASAP.
For over three thousand years, the angel Kinger embodied everything Heaven considered ideal. Quiet, dependable, and unwaveringly devoted to God, he dedicated his existence to serving others, eventually earning the rare distinction of becoming an honorary member of Heaven's higher ranks. To everyone around him, Kinger was the image of perfect faith. One of the most devout and wise angels Heaven has ever seen.
Yet beneath that devotion lay something he never admitted—not even to himself. His life felt hollow. Dull. Gray. He fulfilled every duty expected of him, but there was a persistent sense of emptiness that prayer and service could never satisfy. Believing this dissatisfaction to be a personal weakness, he buried it beneath even greater obedience.
Everything changed when he met Caine, an angel nearly two thousand years younger.
Unlike other angels, Caine was endlessly curious, imaginative, and unwilling to suppress his individuality. He drew, he questioned doctrine, he experimented with creation, he could conjure like no other, and he found joy in things Heaven deemed frivolous or dangerous. Because he refused to conform completely, he became the target of Heaven's "corrective reinforcement"—a system of abuse disguised as discipline. Caine was frequently beaten, isolated, and subjected to painful punishments meant to break his spirit, with Kinger often left to heal his injuries and comfort him afterward.
Although Kinger hated seeing Caine suffer, he never questioned Heaven itself. He believed God's judgment was perfect, convincing himself that the punishments, however cruel they seemed, were for Caine’s own good. Caine hated the other angels for their mistreatment of him, but remained loyal to Kinger, who never raised a hand to him. While Caine spurned Heaven’s cruel ways, Kinger remained loyal to the institution that had defined his entire existence.
However, everything changed after Kinger accidentally let slip how good of a conjurer Caine was becoming. He intended his argument to defend Caine, but accidentally sold him out instead. Heaven declared Caine too dangerous, too rebellious, to keep as an angel.
After months of suffering and torture, Caine’s wings were violently torn from his body, and he was cast into Hell to become a demon. Caine hoped Kinger would defend him, or at the very least rush in to comfort him as he suffered.
When Caine was cast out, Kinger stood frozen nearby, unable to abandon the Heaven he had trusted for three millennia. Watching Caine fall against other angels’ judgements, lest he intervene. He didn’t.
To Caine, that moment became the ultimate betrayal.
Over the centuries, Caine's grief hardened into resentment. Whenever their paths crossed, Caine would torture Kinger with thorny vines, stabbing, and various forms of physical pain, including one incident in which he tried to rip out Kinger’s wings like what’d happened to him. Although he could stop him, Kinger mostly allowed Caine to take his anger out on him out of guilt for abandoning the one he loved, and seeing him turn into such a monster. He simply teleported Caine away if he became too dangerous or was about to go too far.
However, the two clashed bitterly whenever other angels stood a chance of being hurt, adding to Caine’s jealousy and rage from seeing Kinger defend them. And despite Kinger sometimes coming to Caine’s rescue when it seemed angels were about to kill him, the two never reconciled. Caine believed Kinger had chosen Heaven over him. Kinger, meanwhile, was haunted by overwhelming guilt. He continued serving Heaven as a tutor and saint, but his guilt slowly eroded both his mental and physical health, though he never consciously acknowledged it.
Despite those times he defended Caine, Kinger's years of unwavering service earned him a rare privilege. He was finally approaching the reward every angel aspired to: true purity. The highest state of being any angel could ever hope to achieve. Said to completely cleanse an angel of all sin, and earn them a place in the most esteemed place an angel could ever hope to enter – the Temple of the Highest Light. The sanctum of God’s most revered and treasured children. Perfection embodied.
Like all higher ups who’ve been considered for true purity, Kinger was granted an opportunity to visit the temple and gaze upon the truly pure. What he thought he’d see was the most benevolent and righteous of his people. A collective of angels he’d hoped to become part of his entire life.
Instead, he uncovered Heaven's greatest secret.
The Temple of the Highest Light was not a glorious paradise beside God. It was an immense, silent chamber filled with countless ancient angels seated in perfect rows.
They were alive. They breathed. They blinked. They smiled serenely.
But the people they once were no longer existed.
Kinger recognized one of them as the angel who had mentored him long ago, a golden being named Scratch. Scratch taught him to fly, comforted him during celestial storms, and helped shape the person he became. Overjoyed, Kinger rushed to greet him.
Scratch smiled kindly but did not recognize Kinger’s name.
When Kinger asked about memories they had shared, every answer was impersonal and rehearsed. Scratch remembered doctrine, duty, and obedience—but none of the experiences that had made him an individual. When pressed further, he calmly explained that those memories "no longer served his purpose."
Horrified, Kinger demanded an explanation. The higher-ups revealed the truth without shame.
As angels reached the highest state of obedience, their individuality was systematically erased. Curiosity, personal desires, creativity, emotional attachments, unique memories, and independent thought were all gently stripped away until nothing remained except absolute devotion to God's will. They experienced no conflict because they no longer possessed a self capable of questioning. They were cleansed of all sins because they no longer had free will with which to perform them.
God’s most revered and treasured children.
Kinger’s entire understanding of righteousness collapsed. This…no. No! This couldn’t be true! This is all wrong! These angels aren’t pure, they’re hollow! Lifeless! Empty!
The higher ups told Kinger to calm down, and reflect on his life leading up to this point. He spent centuries preaching God’s will and enforcing Heaven’s doctrine, but he was unsatisfied. His sense of self dulled the fulfillment he should have otherwise felt because he wanted more from a life that gave him everything. True purity will erase that sense of self.
Then that…corruption, Caine, came in…and truly pulled Kinger from the path. He was a test, an agent sent by the Devil to lead God’s child astray…and he succeeded, for a while, until Heaven cast him out. Kinger’s love for him caused him so much suffering…but he remained true to the Holy Father. He passed the test. And while the snake’s venom still courses through his veins from time to time, he remains ever devout and determined to walk the righteous path. True purity will erase the desire for love, and will erase the memories of that vile snake. Kinger can finally be free of this plague that infested his heart.
He can be happy. He can be satisfied. He can envelop himself in the warm blanket of God’s light…and never see darkness again.
Kinger…considered it for a moment. Not that long ago, he’d prayed to God to either erase his memories of Caine, or tell him that his love for him was not unjust. Oh, how he longed to be free of the pain of having to choose between him and God, and he’d give anything to finally be rid of the guilt and heartache he felt every time he saw that demon. To Heaven, this was the highest blessing imaginable. Identity was the root of doubt, attachment the source of suffering, and he could be free of it all if he just embraced true purity. Let all the ugly emotions go, and watch them evaporate in the light.
“You’re pathetic. That’s the wise and great angel everyone talks about?”
Kinger’s eyes snapped open as Caine’s words echoed in his mind.
“I should have never confessed to you.”
It would be so, SO easy to just give up. Walk into the light. Don’t look back.
…But the heartache would kill Caine.
Tears filled his eyes. That was enough to make him turn away from eternity. The very reason they were warned not to fall in love in the first place would be what pulls him off the ledge and back into safety. As easy as it would be, as tempting as it is to erase it all and just exist as a mindless servant…
Emotions are messy, guilt and heartache are painful, Caine’s resentment stings worse than his knife, and Kinger feels the weight of how difficult everything has been. But…despite all that…knowing Caine would die from the heartache of Kinger being erased from true purity hurt so much more. He already abandoned him once in favor of upholding Heaven’s doctrine, and it ruined both of them. He couldn’t put him through worse by just…erasing himself. How could he do that to his eternal lover?
The higher ups were wrong. Caine wasn’t a corruption or a snake. Loving him had nurtured curiosity, attachment, grief, and independent thought—everything Heaven sought to eliminate. The qualities Heaven condemned in Caine had unknowingly preserved Kinger's soul. He was a blessing. Kinger’s savior. The only thing that spared him erasure at the end of a bleak and monotonous existence. He gave him color, love, joy, sorrow, bees, rebellion, and lots of stab wounds! Once Caine confessed to him, his life became messy, beautiful, upsetting, chaotic, painful, exhausting, and so much more than anything he’d experienced in the first couple millennia he’d been alive!
And Kinger wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world.
But a sudden realization struck him as he looked back at Scratch. This…this is it. This is all that his life in Heaven will amount to. True purity and eternity spent sitting in a row in the Temple of the Highest Light. Everything he had spent three thousand years striving toward would have ended with the quiet erasure of his own identity, and with him becoming just another hollow vessel. There’s nothing else – this is the highest honor one can achieve in Heaven.
And he’d have to be a “corrupt fool” to refuse such an honor. There’s no other way – he knew they wouldn’t settle for him choosing a “lesser” life as a mere higher up now that he was being considered for true purity. If he wants to stay as himself and keep all his wonderful memories…
Kinger sighed. Caine once told him that there’d come a day when he needed to choose who he loves more – him or God. Only one person could have the ultimate place in Kinger’s heart. Well, Kinger looked that choice directly in the face…
He won’t abandon him again. He’ll never abandon him again. No matter what realm that impetuous little devil wandered into, Kinger was determined to follow. He never made Kinger make such an extreme choice as this, he never tried to force him to follow him after he fell, he never…denied him his continued love of both God and him, even if he didn’t approve of it.
And he definitely never demanded that Kinger surrender his individuality for the sake of “devotion.”
As the quiet realization that countless angels—including Caine—had suffered to preserve this perverse system, something changed inside of Kinger. Something shattered…and it wasn’t just his love for God. The grief, guilt, rage, and unbridled love he had suppressed for centuries erupted all at once. As the higher ups tried to help him regain composure, Kinger turned away from them and unleashed his divine power across the temple, annihilating scores of the ancient angels in a single catastrophic blast. Those who survived didn’t react, even if they were injured. That single, visceral reaction singlehandedly became one of the bloodiest moments in Heaven's history.
After the blast dissolved into smoke, everyone’s ears were ringing, and the air was still. You could’ve heard a pin drop from how silent it was.
Once the reality of what just happened set in…all hell broke loose. The horrified shrieks of the higher ups pierced the air, and several of them tried to restrain Kinger, but he teleported out of the temple and flew as fast as he could. He heard the emergency alarms blare, searchlights flicked on, and the announcer demanded his immediate capture. It wasn’t long before he was trailed by countless higher ups and soldier angels, flying after him in an unbridled holy rage. While Kinger wasn’t the most graceful flier, he was definitely more clever, finding hidden spots and using his wings to camouflage himself from his pursuers among the white clouds. Coach, in particular, was difficult to evade, given his tenacity, superior flying skills, and disapproval of Kinger in the past.
However, it didn’t take long for God to hear of what he’d done. He didn’t let Kinger leave Heaven unscathed – ripping his wings from his body and stripping him of his divine power as he crossed the threshold between Heaven and Earth. This resulted in a brutal landing, severely injuring Kinger, who barely had enough magic to heal his bleeding wing stumps. Heaven wasn’t done with him though – they sent several powerful angels to Earth to capture and drag him back for further punishment. He spent several days running, hiding, frantically healing, both using herbal remedies and his limited magic, dodging, and narrowly escaping Heaven’s relentless pursuers. Eventually, Hell’s forces noticed the increase divine activity and joined the fray, not knowing they were giving Kinger a much-needed reprieve. He was in rough shape by the time he reached his destination – an ancient shrine that he used to boost his magic and unleash a blast that destroyed his pursuers, forcing the remaining angels to flee and officially solidify his allegiance with the forces of Hell. As he emerged from the shrine with his new horns, wings, and tail, battered and panting from exhaustion, Kinger looked over the bloody battlefield at the gaping demons…and then fell unconscious.
A few demons stepped forth, but a short one in particular picked him up with ease using his thorny vines, glaring back at the crowd as if to say, “Don’t even think about it.” Caine carried Kinger from the battlefield down to Hell…and Kinger’s fall became one of the most infamous angelic falls ever recorded. Even demons who were present that day (save for Caine) don’t know the full story about what happened – they just saw one of Heaven’s elites get hunted, and he retaliated by blasting them. He went from almost achieving the highest possible honor to being the worst enemy of Heaven in an instant. Later, when demons ask Kinger about why he fell, his face falls and he simply answers, “Heaven failed me.”
When Kinger regains consciousness and reunites with Caine, they are no longer simply lovers separated by Heaven. They are survivors of the same oppressive system who responded to it in opposite ways. Caine rejected Heaven early and paid for it with everything he had. Kinger believed in Heaven until the very end…only to discover that the perfection he had devoted his life to was the extinction of personhood itself.
(because why wouldn’t I include this part? :P)
As Kinger lets Caine tend to his wounds (and create a few minor ones, if the demon feels so inclined), he tells him what he discovered about true purity and the Temple of the Highest Light. He tells him he saw Scratch, his mentor from centuries ago, there, and the state he was in. He tells him about the hollowed state those angels were in, how they’d surrendered their individualities willingly, and how that was the ultimate outcome everyone in Heaven was striving for. He tells him how he’d been chosen for true purity, and Caine speaks up for the first time since Kinger’s awakening to ask if he would’ve gone through with it. Kinger hesitates…before admitting that for a minute…he considered it. Not for the sake of devotion, not for the sake of achieving the ultimate enlightenment…but just to be rid of the pain their separation brought him. The temptation of just…surrendering himself…was present, if only briefly.
Caine slaps him and starts yelling in his face about being “a fucking coward,” but Kinger cuts him off, saying he couldn’t go through with it. He couldn’t abandon Caine like that, not again. Not ever again. If that’s the ultimatum that forces him to choose between Heaven and Caine, he’ll pick Caine.
Caine says something bitter about how it took an extreme to force Kinger to finally pick him, and he goes to leave.
“It would’ve killed you.”
Caine stops in the door and slowly turns to face him.
“That’s…what pulled me back from the edge. The knowledge that my erasure…would’ve killed you. The heartbreak, the very reason we were told not to fall in love in the first place…”
“…You could drop dead right now, and it would only improve my life.”
Kinger looks doubtfully over at his bandaged wounds, but shakes his head in defeat, not daring to voice those thoughts. “I don’t gamble when it comes to your life, my love. You can play around with mine if you want, you can stab me and hurt me as much as you like…but I never will with yours. No matter who it is, if they’re threatening your life, I will intervene.”
Caine…blushes faintly at this, and returns to the bed. He rests his hand in Kinger’s and wraps a thorny vine around both of them to squeeze them together, causing both to bleed.
Kinger avoids his gaze as he rubs his thumb up and down Caine’s hand. “I…don’t know what happened. I…unleashed some kind of…blast. All the repressed emotions I’ve been carrying since your banishment, all the guilt, yearning, sorrow, love, anger…it just…mixed with the realization that…you were banished for the sake of perpetuating this system whose greatest reward for a lifetime of devotion is just…mental non-existence. Before, I was fine with God’s love being the only reward for my devotion, but when I saw what they did to Scratch…and knowing that they could’ve done that to you…I just…” Kinger paused, tearing up as his breathing started getting heavy. “Everything came out in that blast. And I…I killed him, Caine. I killed Scratch. I killed…so many great angels.”
“Hollow angels,” Caine reminded him. “Hollow angels who made the choice to be that way.”
“And after I came down to Earth? Those angels I blasted with the shrine’s magic-“
“-Were pursuing you with the express purpose of dragging you back up there to suffer. It was either them or you, dear.”
Kinger shook his head. “Everything happened so fast. I…I still can’t believe the things I saw up there. To think that everything we worked for, everything I devoted myself to, the ultimate gift He could give us in return for our eternal love and devotion is…just…erasing us. As if we were nothing. Have I…always been nothing? This entire time…?”
Caine’s expression softened briefly before he sighed. “God and Heaven are bullshit. Glad you finally see that, love. Any other brilliant revelations I can drop on you that you’ll utterly ignore until they get shoved in your face?”
Kinger shot him a hurtful look before slowly laying back down on his back. “I’m glad you find my shattered faith and crushing realization of my utter pointlessness in the world so amusing.”
Caine giggled, then crawled on top of him and rested his own hands on Kinger’s face. “I prefer the term ‘gratifying.’ But listen, your role in Heaven may be over, but you have a new start here, you beautiful idiot. I’m a fallen angel too, remember? I kept going after I fell, and here I am. If I could do it without any support, you can do it with mine.”
Kinger looked up at him, then grunted softly as he set his hand atop one of Caine’s. “It’s going to take a while for me to adjust…please be patient with me?” He then cried out as a knife was lodged into his shoulder, and he tearfully looked at Caine in bewilderment.
Caine had a sickeningly joyful look on his face as he leered down at his pained lover. “Never.”
