So some of you have probably seen this post by vanyaliful, bowdowntothequeers and crysass. Some people were asking for a translation in english so that they could understand.
Here you go, friends. It’s full of french pop culture and references, with links to explain just about everything (I swear I really did my best - you’ll find links to videos, articles, etc - and takns to bowdowntothequeers​ for the help !!) and I can tell you, the majority of this - especially the pop-culture ones - would be 100% true should the Amis live in this era. Hope you guys like it. It’s very french.
les amis completely wasted at 3am and singing Les Lacs du Connemara (fun fact: the singer is discojolras)
fighting over who ate the last bit of baguette
fighting over who’s going to have to go and buy other baguettes
striking and demonstrating in the street
the gascon accent that the amis who were raised in the south have (sorry but if Courfeyrac doesn’t come from the Périgord or the Gers then I’m not French.)
les amis playing petanque ironically until it’s not ironic at all anymore
roadtripping in the south while listening to old french pop music on Radio Nostalgie
Grantaire and Courfeyrac literally spending their time quoting « Nos Jours Heureux » and « Astérix : Mission Cléopâtre » (for real; I don’t know of many people who go more than a week without referencing Mission Cléopâtre)
Bossuet, Joly and Grantaire spend too much of their time arguing about enology and fighting over the best cru
Bahorel crying while watching « Intouchables »
Feuilly complaining about how Paris is ‘reuch’ (verlan/slang for ‘riche’ = ‘expensive’)
Joly not tolerating waiters’ rudeness
Enjolras going nuts because the métro line 13 is having issues AGAIN
Combeferre and Jehan crying when visiting L’Opéra Garnier
Bossuet being attacked by pigeons, and by the goats in the Jardin des Tuileries (goats, more effective than lawn mowers)
JBM hosting a traditional french cuisine workshop
during the New Year party, Enjolras says foie gras is toff food and Ferre answers « ok but i’ll remind you you spent the first 18 years of your life eating it wiTHOUT ANY PROBLEM »
Joly has an entire notebook filled with haikus related to the RATP. Every haiku has at least one cuss word. Exemple:
At 4am, after a boozy party, they come upon a rebroadcast of an episode of « Plus Belle La Vie » and Marius says « Oh, I liked this episode ! I love this show. ». Grantaire gets up and leaves the room (PBLV is a soap opera. French don’t really like soaps. Result is that people are either super fans of the show or they’re purely ashamed of its existence and will spend their time talking shit about it. You should totally click on the link. and see for yourself.)
Courf taking a picture on the Place de la Concorde, lying down on the ground so that the obelisk appears right at his crotch area
Sometimes in the winter, they wear marinières, make onion soup and cry in front of « Amélie »
Les amis after the legalization of same-sex marriage : « ON VA S’AIMER »
Enjolras who never admitted to anyone (except his very closest friends) that he is from Versailles (it is widely accepted that Versaillais = the ultimate bourgeois)
Bahorel who starts ironically saying « Doux Jésus » (‘sweet jesus’) and other snobbish expressions but then he just can’t stop using them
Algerian Courfeyrac who always gets angry at the romanticisation of the Seine when so many people were dumped in it - even just during the Saint-Barthélémy’s Massacre and the Algerian War, and Mauritian Combeferre who adds that it’s because of the US and their point of view, made international through their cinema. Courfeyrac makes sheep’s eyes at him and says « fuck, take me» even though they’re in public and JUST FRIENDS
Polynesian Jehan singing « Sous les sunlights des tropiques » with Combeferre when they’re alone
50 photos of Joly being absolutely disgusted of making boudin and musichetta being like :DDD
les amis happily crashing the Manif Pour Tous by kissing each other (Grantaire must physically refrain Enjolras from angrily jumping on an catholic snob who insulted them) (La Manif Pour Tous is/was the french movement against same-sex marriage - it was extremely mediated and wide-spread - also there were a lot of people openly saying that homosexuality was disguised pedophilia or zoophilia. You know, the usual.)
Enjolras REFUSES to set foot in a Starbucks because it’s the perfect example of american capitalism so Grantaire buys him a triple frappuccino
Courf takes Ferre into the « It’s a small word » attraction at Disneyland and then spends his day singing the music until Ferre threatens to burn his Mickey ears. As for Enjolras, he is blacklisted from the Park for massive anti-americanism
Feuilly losing his temper at his Heudebert biscotte because he can’t butter it without breaking it ( because he’s soft but unleashes his hatred on his morning biscotte to help himself start the day)
Bossuet who always says « ça se tient » (it makes sense) and Joly inevitably answering « c’est ferme » (it’s firm)
Grantaire who references ALL of the stupid ads like « c’est écrit dessus c’est comme le Port-Salut », « tu pousses le bouchon un peu trop loin Maurice », « il me faut de l’eau, DE L’EAU », « et alors la marmotte elle met le chocolat dans le papier d’alu - MAIS BIEN SÛR »
Les amis watch every day Le Petit Journal, Enjolras for the news, Grantaire for the sarcasm, Éponine for Yann Barthes and Cosette for Martin
Grantaire the Breton for bowdowntothequeers:
Grantaire is breton and one day Enjolras says that it’s really horrible that we can’t put french flags in the street anymore without being mistaken for a FN follower, because « ffs, they don’t have the monopoly on the republic !!! » and Grantaire says « well we could just replace it with the Gwenn ha Du, hahaha » and Enjolras looks at him in a shady way like « are you secretly for the independence of Brittany ??» (The Gwenn ha Du is the Brittany Flag - a good number of people are for the independance of Brittany from France and will demonstrate it quite a lot, through the flag, language, etc. Although, whether or not breton people want independance, most are very proud of their culture and will talk about it a lot.)
Grantaire getting asked what caused his depression and answering « it’s consanguinity » in the rubest accent in the world
Jehan leaving on a holiday for an internship with a magnetizer/fire-cutter in Brittany and develops a crazy love for the fest-noz and comes back MORE breton than Grantaire
Under the cut are the headcanons that were added in the comments:
yousharknotpass
titsay
snowghoul
dailybridgerton
kaledo-art
vaporwave
jacobvanloon
baratheonpilled
janainaart
