One could say that the feeling that it kept on going forever could induce calm in anyone that looked at, or even dared to try to feel the experience of walking along it.
Much in the same vein, it could be said that, to those who wanted to reach a destination, it was nothing short of their worst possible nightmare. Those with objectives, those with meanings, those with a purpose all had their weak spot exposed the moment that the unreasonable distance of their journey made itself apparent. Be it by acceptance of the futility of complaining, or perhaps the despair that comes upon complaining about the distance only to feel your throat dry out with each syllable, there was a single law that inflicted itself indiscriminately upon those who sook to see the end of the road: to be quiet.
Where does that leave those who sympathize with the road itself, then…?
“With a taste of your lips I’m on a ride~” Koda sang along to the classic Britney Spears song, all the while wiggling on the passenger seat. As soon as he was done with that particular line, he reached over to Clyde and gave him a small peck on his cheek.
“If my lips are on the side of my cheek I must have a pretty fucked up face.” Clyde smirked, his eyes constantly shifting over between the road and Koda’s face. In response, his boyfriend only shrugged and mumbled a “fine then” before lunging over at Clyde’s face.
“TURN YOUR DAMN HEAD AROUND I’M TRYING TO KISS YOU” Koda yelled as he just kind of fell on his boyfriend’s neck fluff.
“WELL GEE SURE LET’S JUST CRASH THE GODDAMN CAR BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO KEEP MY EYES ON YOUR GAY ASS INSTEAD OF THE ROAD” …Clyde yelled right back, keeping one hand on the steering wheel and using the other to ruffle Koda’s head. This was the only real chance he got to do that, given their height difference, so he made sure to take his revenge whenever he could. Instead of getting pissed, though, Koda just kept his face right where it was.
“Babe?” Clyde called, now with both of his hands on the steering wheel. Still no response from his boyfriend.
“Babe.” Yet again, no response.
“Hey shitlord you didn’t actually fall asleep on me, right.” Clyde asked as he felt the weight of the bear boy gradually pressure him. Not only was the other taller, but he was also heavier.
“I’m totes asleep. Only a kiss from prince Clyde of the Gaylord Kingdom can wake me up.” He muttered, his face still smothered on his boyfriend’s neck fluff, making it hard to even tell what he was saying.
“Are you seriously still stuck on that.” Clyde was completely deadpan as he asked. He knew the answer himself. This was the same moody little bitch that growled at him whenever he tried to wake him up for something.
“I’VE BEEN SINGING ALONG TO THIS PLAYLIST FOR LIKE HOURS I NEED SOMETHING TO DO OKAY.” Koda finally lifted his head up just to yell that right into Clyde’s ear, but then immediately fell down right onto his neck.
“It’s been like, what, six songs?! IT’S BARELY FUCKING NIGHT.” But Clyde did not budge! For he was the only one that could drive, and he wouldn’t let their vacation roadtrip be slowed down for his boyfriend’s needy (and sometimes horny) tendencies!
“IT’S BEEN SIX SONGS BECAUSE I’VE HAD TOXIC ON REPEAT AND YOU KNOW THAT DAMN WELL IT’S ALREADY NIGHT.” Koda, however, knew how to make a point in his own way. Though it was Koda’s idea, they had set out in the morning on a roadtrip with no particular destination, just hoping to stop wherever. Since Clyde had actually left town before (and could actually drive a car), he said he had a few ideas of where to take him and took charge…though that was many, many hours ago.
“Maybe you wouldn’t be so damn bored if you didn’t put Toxic on repeat! BRITNEY HAS A WHOLE FUCKING DISCOGRAPHY, KODA. IMAGINE BEING CULTURED ONCE IN A WHILE.” Clyde shuffled on his seat, trying to shake his shoulders a bit so that his boyfriend would move. In all honesty, feeling Koda’s muffled, warm breathing on his neck felt really good, but even with them going at a relatively fast driving speed, he wasn’t too hopeful they’d get to a place where they could park the car without feeling like they’d be robbed or spirited away by some random serial killer. Repeating “Ain’t nobody got time for dat gay shit” over and over in his head, he tried to focus on what was in front of him: the road.
“OH THAT’S RICH COMING FROM THE GUY WHO I HAD TO FORCE INTO WATCHING VINES.” Koda argued right back, though.
“Yeah yeah well Vine’s not culture. Britney fucking Spears is.” There was absolutely no way Clyde would let any kind of slight against Britney Spears to come through. It was thanks to her inventing gay rights that they had become able to even date. They owed their lives to her.
“I don’t need to listen to the rest of Britney’s discography because Toxic is obviously her best song so suck it up.” The bear boy still had his face firmly where it previously was, and after every argument he made against Clyde, he put even more weight onto his boyfriend’s neck, as if he was trying to make a point. Or perhaps just to bully him for being short. For all their arguments had done, though, at least both of them had forgotten that they had been on the road for quite a while.
“HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVEN’T LISTENED TO HER WHOLE DISCOGRAPHY YOU ABSOLUTE GODDAMN SHEEPLE.”
“SHIT CLYDE I DON’T HAVE ALL OF THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO LISTEN TO HER WHOLE-ASS DISCOGRAPHY IT’S A REALLY GOOD SONG OKAY I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.”
“WE’RE LITERALLY ON VACATION IN A ROADTRIP FOR LIKE HOURS IF YOU ASKED ME I WOULD’VE BROUGHT MY CDs WITH ME AND BESIDES I MANAGED TO LISTEN TO ALL HER DISCOGRAPHY <AND> GET A SCHOLARSHIP WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE”
…And so, their silly, playful arguments continued for a few more hours. With only Koda’s self-made playlists being in the car, and no real phone signal to speak of, they couldn’t really access any of Britney Spears’ iconic bops that had defined the 2000s. But for all that it was, much like Britney Spears herself would have wished for the gays, their company was enough for each other, warming themselves up as the night came.
While they hadn’t yet reached their destination, they were somewhat close to it, with the scenery finally turning rather green, with quite a few trees and foliage making themselves visible…or rather, as visible as they could be, given that it was rather dark. It’d usually make for quite a horrifying scene, but as the both of them were already quite tired, just finding a place where they could park the car safely and get a good night’s sleep was enough.
“Hey, Koda.” Clyde asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two of them as they ran out of any energy to argue. While they still threw a few ideas or silly jokes at each other, they almost never had a punchline, and the other’s response was just a chuckle-snort of sorts. When they didn’t even have the energy for that, silence filled the car.
“Mmhm?” Koda responded, half-asleep. He was taller, he was more fit, and he probably had better stamina when it came to exercising—but he wasn’t used to pulling all-nighters quite like Clyde was. With the amount of studying Clyde had to undertake to get his scholarship, he was already pretty used to all-nighters, all things considered. He could keep his focus pretty well, but that was always when he was alone—he wasn’t used to having others beside him. So, slowly, time took its toll as he kept talking with Koda.
“C’mon, let’s call it a night. Go lay down on the back.” Clyde once again took advantage of Koda leaning on him, and got to kiss his head.
“I’m good.” The bear boy, however, simply held on to Clyde’s arm, not wanting to think of anything but staying where he was.
“You know you can’t sleep like that. Besides, you’re heavy as rocks. <I> won’t be able to sleep like that.” Clyde said, but he knew damn well that wasn’t true. But given he didn’t want the both of them to wake up with a massive pain in the neck, he went with it.
“I’ll go if you come with me.” He lightly tugged on Clyde’s arm, but given the size difference between the two of them, it was more like he was pulling.
“The car’s not big enough for us to cuddle, y’know. I can’t be the big spoon this time either, or I’ll suffocate.” Clyde pointed out. But in all frankness, at this point of the night, he just wanted to feel Koda behind him, with his arms enveloping him.
“…Fine.” Koda said, letting out a big yawn as he finally moved his face away from Clyde’s neck. The part of his neck his face was on felt ridiculously warm, and a little bit sore, but the wolf boy didn’t feel like complaining at all.
Koda then opened the car door, stepping out into the cold night for a while, feeling the wind that kept going, even as the world felt as it had stopped. He then opened the door to the car’s backseat, laying there, as close to the back as possible, leaving space for his boyfriend.
Clyde wasted no time in locking the car’s doors and, not bothering to walk outside, simply wiggled his way clumsily from the front seat to the back, before finally resting on Koda’s chest. Needless to say, it was cramped, but that small space had its own appeal, with its cozy warmth.
“Good night.” Koda mumbled, still half-asleep, as he gave his boyfriend a kiss. The other reciprocated, but broke off before it turned into a smooch session.
“…You’re gay.” Clyde said, yawning, as he shifted around to make himself comfortable.
“In which language is that ‘good night’, you gaylord?” Koda said, enveloping his arms around Clyde, as the wolf finally made himself comfortable.
“You tell me, you know a lot more about Gaylord Kingdom than I do.” Clyde replied back, but he didn’t really have anymore of the energy necessary to be witty. He fell sound asleep rather quickly, as he listened to the sound of the trees’ branches and leaves rustling in the cold, windy night, feeling Koda’s arms around him, with his cold hands going in his shirt and rubbing his stomach.
The both of them then dreamed, recalling the times of their childhood, while feeling the giddy anticipation for what their small, spur-of-the-moment vacation trip still had to offer…
Hello. How have you been? Have you done anything? Nice to meet you. What are your hobbies? What kind of people are your family members? It’s nice to see you again. How has everyone been? What, who is that? I don’t really remember them.
……………..
Allow me to be a little bit more true to myself.
Long time no see.
Asking how you are is pointless. Wanting to know your feelings is meaningless. There is no information to be gained from any questions that I ask of you. I already know all that there is to you, and I am not afraid. I will use you however I very well intend to, so don’t presume that I owe you anything for all this.
…
“All this”, I say. Rather than that, I suppose I should be saying the exact opposite. Instead of many things happening, not enough things have happened. To you, anyway. In my world, a lot has happened, you know? How many months have passed again…for example, I’ve finished a whole semester, and…
…
That’s all, isn’t it…How depressing. It is really, truly, absolutely, definitely depressing. Sharing feelings with you is already something that I do not appreciate, but when it is something that drags me down to your level it makes me even more frustrated. But, you know. A lot has happened in my life. That, I can promise you. Perhaps not in my physical life, but most definitely in my mind.
…I’ve thought about you a lot, much to my chagrin. I really despise it. I thought about getting back to you, about touching you like once before and immersing myself on your bosom. Doing enough work for you that I feel justified in my desires, sometimes even boldly coming up with the courage to whisper them in your ear when you hold me close. These kinds of disgusting thoughts really, truly plagued my mind, as hard to believe as it may be.
I was called cold, mysterious, distant, aloof. They said it made me wise. You said it made me unique. You said it made you sad.
I was called funny, interesting, hilarious, the life of the party. They said it made me charming. You said it made me precious. You said it made you confused.
I called myself ambitionless, visionless, loveless and passionless. They said nothing. You said nothing. You didn’t even see me when I left.
When I left,
I wondered what had become of me.
Had I become more intelligent, perhaps? Or maybe, the expression on my face had become warm? I wondered these kinds of things foolishly, as if hoping for my reward from a long session of meaningless events.
But nothing changed.
Making my way through life in the exact same way I did before, and viewing things in the exact same way I did before, I recognized the fruitlessness of my “efforts”, if they could even be called that.
And so, here I am, back again.
Wrapping my own arms tightly around me,
Keeping a distance from “myself”,
A light brush of my fingers on the illusion in front of me,
Which is then drowned on the overwhelming sense of familiarity.
...When did I come to exist?
If I were asked that question, I really wouldn't know how to answer.
If someone asked me to tell from when I started existing by the technology or the buildings around me, I wouldn't be able to do so. I would simply shoot an aimless stare at the nothingness, close my eyes for a second to seem as if I had thought upon it, look back at them and then shake my head.
I wasn't someone that particularly paid attention to the world around me. It wasn't for me, after all.
The one thing that I did know, that I could answer with no doubts, that was related to my existence...is that I was, most likely, a ghost. Or perhaps, just simply an existence similar to one.
My body simply could not touch anything around me. My voice did not reach anyone, and despite my constant attempts at getting attention, no one could see me.
...Being this kind of existence, it's only natural that I wouldn't pay attention to the world.
The world is something that involves many beings, a culmination of the interaction between all of the people living, their influences overlapping upon each other and creating bright new things. If I couldn't even handle the existence of a single human—if I couldn't even grasp that fragile thing, then there was no way that I could keep up with the rest of humanity. The only thing that my non-existent heart could do was follow a single human at a time.
--Then.
If someone asked me when I started following this one in particular, that too, I wouldn't be able to answer certainly.
But I could probably give a tentative one. Formulate an...hypothesis? I believe it was something like that.
Then.
I'd say that, to meet this tired human that is currently isolated from society, obfuscating their own light…
I would probably have had to be attracted by their singing, their beautiful voice that captivates all in range.
Yes, that's why...before I knew it, I was suddenly beside this one. Perhaps the one I had been following before had died, or maybe I just left them. But I know for sure that, if I heard this human's voice by some coincidence somewhere, I would have definitely followed them, disregarding whatever it was that I was doing before. It's not as if I had any responsibilities, after all—I hadn't been visited by that old nemesis of society in quite a while.
Either way, it had suddenly become routine to start following after this human.
They were something like a singer, part of a band, I'd presume. Considering how they often did vocal training and some practice with various instruments, performing was most likely the only thing that they did to earn money.
---Well. It's not like it was particularly a problem. With the voice that they had, earning a living simply by performing wasn't far-fetched. I had no idea about the economical state of society, but if quality was still something to be favored in music, then they definitely could live with only their voice.
...Hehe. I'm praising it a lot more than I realize.
It's only natural, though. Since, after all…
It was my first memory.
A plaza, covered in bright and fluffy white.
People whose physical expression no doubt indicated that they wanted to be back at home, where it was warm.
The middle of the day, and yet only a small amount of people were present at the plaza.
...It was only natural.
I couldn't tell the reason, but in such a day, it was customary for everything to stop.
From the complaints of the singer, it seemed as if the days before this were all an unstoppable rush in preparation for this. Everyone running, working, doing their best—as if doing all that they could before the end. Children who played around as much as they could before it was their bedtime.
...It was impossible to locate a venue around these days, they said. Therefore, they had to do an impromptu concert at this day. It was only natural that barely any people would come.
The singer and people whom I could just barely recognize from a few pictures strewn about the house here and there, they prepared devices around the small area that they had secured in the plaza. They tested them over and over by speaking into a “mic”, and their voice would come from one of those devices much, much louder than it should be.
After they took their time preparing, the singer's friends grabbed their instruments. There were a few prepared near the singer, but they did not touch it. It seemed as if they were only to be used for a few specific songs.
And then, the concert started.
...An unstoppable vibration. Breath that was not taken away, but gently moved. A phantom heart that could not stop beating. Blood that set out on a journey to god knows where, without a body. The feeling of shaking, producing heat.
Indescribable feelings, all of them strong. Things unknown to me, all hitting me at once—the curiosity of a human being awoken again.
A quiet voice that resounded throughout the entire plaza as if it was the sound of the world's very own breathing; a loud voice that threatened to shatter the earth and engulf everything in its strong, warm embrace. The harmony of all that came together to support and love each other.
...Yes.
An unforgettable memory--
I was to protect that voice, with all that I had.
That was my resolve.
The jealousy that I felt when it reached that amount of people, however small they were, awaking them as it did to me.
The fear that I felt when things that shouldn't be present inside me suddenly started functioning at full throttle, as if they were always there.
The sadness that I felt when I thought that someday, when I come to be aware, I'll be far away from that voice.
And then, the warm feeling once all of that was converted into pure, blissful happiness--
All of that, all of it, gave me the determination to protect it.
Even if I could not affect anything.
Even if my tears couldn't be seen.
Even if my words of love and admiration couldn't be heard.
I did all that I could, and hugged the throat containing all that I loved with all the strength that I could muster--
For one, two, three days. A week, a month, perhaps some time more than that.
All of it had passed with me vehemently hugging onto that throat, all of the time wishing to praise the one that held it.
A wish as strong as my hold, that contained all of my feelings. The only feelings that the being that I am now could ever produce.
My determination was strong. Even if my arms weren't, I could say for sure that it was.
So, as long as I kept at it, one time all my feelings would be conveyed--
Crack.
Drip, drip.
One day, I heard these ugly sounds, different from what I was used to hear in the morning.
Not a yawn, not a moan, not even a grumble. A complaint about the rundown house, or a curse to be laid upon the chirping birds.
It was...none of that.
Where had the sound come from? Where? Where, where, where? For the first time, I had felt again, this time not from a concert or anything of the like.
But it was a different feeling. It wasn't what I was used to. There was definitely the feeling of blood rushing, the feeling of the heart that shouldn't be there beating—so many similar things. But I could tell that it was, most definitely, different.
So then, I had to investigate. I had to look for whatever was causing that sound. To end what I was feeling right now.
...Even if it meant leaving the throat that I had been protecting for all this time.
Feeling for something other than their singing, it was almost as if I was cheating on them.
So, it wasn't bad for me to go solve this problem. It was the right course of action. And I could just go back to that embrace once I was finished, for all eternity, and prove myself once again. My heart was set, so there was no problem. Everything would be alright as soon as I had finished this.
After that, I searched the entire house for what had been the source of that sound.
From every possible place, from every possible angle, something that was only possible for a ghost like me.
In the walls, in the floor, even in the ground.
What had disturbed the place which not even society would dare to approach? What was it? What had—please, whatever it was…
And then, my determination finally gave up as I stopped feeling. I had gone back to being like before.
...So, it didn't really matter. I could go back to being with them, and--
I realized.
It wasn't that I had stopped feeling because my determination had finally gone away. It was because I had finally built it up, after fooling myself for such a long time.
The one on the bed, whom I had ignored until now. Their body wasn't moving.
Well, it was only natural, after all. It would happen if they had been strangulated.
I came to that realization as I watched their body, caressing their cold cheeks.
My determination...truly was strong enough.
I could touch them. They were the only tangible thing to me, but that didn't matter. That was enough to make me happy—or at the very least it should have been.
After all, they weren't...supposed to be dead.
It was so silly, that I wanted to laugh.
Calling it a tragedy would be bad taste. It was nothing more than a cruel joke.
...Anger. Ire. Madness. Wrath. Fire, and all that it burned.
I could only feel anger inside of me. I had difficulty giving words to everything else that I felt, but I knew—that this was, undoubtedly, anger.
The desire to face whoever was responsible for this and kill them. The need to torture them and make them aware of their sins.
...Was that person me?
I refused to believe that.
I wouldn't allow that, because I still had things to do.
So then, I'd blame it on God.
The only reason beings like God and ghosts even exist is so that humans can throw the blame on them, after all. It didn't really matter if I also did that, seeing as there was a chance I was previously a human myself.
So I cursed God. With all that I had, I cursed Him and the world that he had created, the humans that he loved, insulting everything without mercy. I screamed loud enough that it felt like someone would actually hear me.
...And once all of that was done, I simply took a deep breath.
The breath that had been gently taken away from me by that singer, it was about time for me to have it back again. I had things to do, after all.
Someone had most likely died without even knowing the reason for it.
Such a pitiful occurrence, there's no way that they were happy with that.
It'd almost make one stay where they were, crying, instead of moving on.
“--Well then.”
The hunt for ghosts and a lost love started.
Ah, poor thing that has happened to understand the world.
Poor thing that has been chained into a world of utter monotony, simply by acknowledging something.
How did you come to this conclusion, either way? To think that even just one human during the entire lifetime of their species would come to anything even similar to the truth, that was something that none of us had expected. We really, truly, had thought that there wasn’t anything to be found in such an uncute, boring species. But I suppose we were wrong.
--Tell me. Will you come to curse? Or have you come to curse already? With all the knowledge that you have, do you curse at the world? Do you curse at its inhabitants?
When you wake up in the morning, and when you indulge yourself in this chaotic world ruled by what was once the species you belonged to—do you curse them? Do you wish you could go back to the ridiculously busy life led by them? Do you regret having thought everything over, do you regret having achieved this answer?
…No?
Then.
…Do you, perhaps, do the opposite? It can only be that, right? Correct? Affirmative?
---Hee hee. Someone who has loved the world by understanding it? Someone who has decided to love this world even after it chained them? That’s stupid and senseless, not to mention ridiculous. Exactly how mad would your species be? That conclusion of yours defies logic and anything resembling it. I’m sure there are researchers cursing the kind of being that you are right now, suddenly creating such a bothersome opinion.
…Don’t glare at me like that, please. It’s rather scary. I’ve never had anyone at my level of existence, so this is my first time being glared at. I wonder, are you killing me in your thoughts over and over? As I talk endlessly, are you perhaps selecting between drowning or burning me? Even though I can’t really be killed by such things, I’m sure you’d take at least some pleasure in imagining me in that kind of situation.
...Hee hee, and you confirm such a bloody affirmation so easily. You truly do hate me right now, don’t you? But that’s okay. You’re the person who understood the world, after all—you have the right to emote as much as you would like to. I’d normally say that you would get used to me, but such a thing will happen as soon as you wake up to your boring, monotone world, right? After all, once you’ve read and understood everything here, nothing really is left to excite you anymore.
………….?
…………
……?
Haha. Spin a new tale, you say? Don’t be foolish. If it’s only about yourself, thinking nonsensical garbage is okay. However, trying to involve this world into it won’t do you any good. You’ve completed everything in this world; there’s nothing left for you here. A book does not come with blank pages for you to continue writing on it, and likewise, this world has no place for anything new. If you are unhappy with this monotony, just take it as punishment for going beyond the understanding of a normal human.
…Hee. Don’t tell me that you should get rewarded instead of punished. Why exactly are you expecting a reward for doing something incredible? After all, doesn’t that just follow the boring old logic that you are trying to oppose? You’re such a hypocrite.
I can “rules-lawyer” however I want. The matter of fact is, you are a being doomed to a state of eternal monotony, unable to experience a new tale for as long as this world exists. Once it ends, so will you. The death of this world, and by extension, yourself…that shall be the only “new” thing that you will experience, so I suggest gearing up appropriately for it. If you remind yourself about your imminent death every single day, then perhaps those days shall pass faster in your perception of time.
Unfortunately for you, I do not have a face to look forward to being punched in the face. What I do have, however, is a particular penchant for badgering you.
…I see. So no matter what I say, you are absolutely bent on the idea of creating a new tale. Very well, then. I’d like to see you and this world try. No matter what you do, this story shall not change. If you will not realize that through my words, then I shall let your own failures help you with that.
…It doesn’t have to change?
Entirely new.
To create a deviation so large that you will be able to separate yourself from the current world and create your own tale, is that it? I’ll admit, that is indeed a good idea coming from such a pitiful creature. But that is all, only an idea. Something that exists only in the world inside your mind, and that shall never come to be expressed, or even given the grounds to be understood. Truly beautiful due to its nature as incomprehensible, undefiled—and yet, lackluster, as it has not been given physical form.
You shouldn’t try to turn it into reality, you know. Just about everything can be gorgeous if it’s in the secret garden of your mind. Once it’s given physical form and turned into something for consumption, it is destroyed in the most vile way possible.
…I am not pretentious, much less pathetic. And I would rather not be told that by you, of all the ridiculous beings in this world, you brutish…thing. I wouldn’t have anything inserted into my orifices even if I had them, so I would ask you not to use that as an insult, much less as a suggestion.
Hmph. Fine, leave me like this, won’t you. It’s not like you can truly escape from me—I can be wherever you are simply by wishing it. I’ll watch over those efforts and ridicule you until you finally give up, you pitiful little being. Heeheehee…
Because I’m procrastinating too much on editing this and I need to archive it somewhere with my notes before I forget them:
Desu2BR fic, 20k words. A Day in the life of Yamato Hotsuin. Lots of hinting at Yamato/Alcor shippings + Yamato/Alcor/Hibiki ot3. Takes place post-canon ending. More pre-work notes below, though you may skip them if you like:
While I knew a lot about Desu2br, I wrote this BEFORE I actually watched a playthrough of it, so there are...a few inaccuracies, though nothing important, out of memory. So far, only Miyako’s characterization and Otome’s relationship with Koharu. In this fic, Otome is still Koharu’s mother.
I seriously haven’t looked at this fic since I finished it. That’s my level of procrastination. So I don’t remember if I explained it in the work itself, but in my headcanon, Miyako was reborn normally as Yamato’s sister while Alcor just kind of...started existing, name and all. I am pretty sure I went into more detail in the work, but Yamato basically took him in like a stray cat and made him his servant.
I don’t think I strictly went with any set of rules regarding their memories in this fic, but they basically have a very faint part of their memories still active. So everyone in Desu2 verse still met up and befriended each other through unlikely events. (TO BE EXPANDED UPON??? PERHAPS IF I EVER GET OFF MY LAZY WRITER ASS)
This fic is very much still a work-in-progress. I wrote it as part of a replacement for this year’s Nanowrimo since I have no idea if I’ll be able to participate this year, so my focus was on actually getting shit out, not making it quality. Frankly, there are probably scenes I’ll want to rewrite from scratch once I get to actually reading this, but lol 20k.
I-I doubt anyone will actually read it or even get this far in my notes, but if you do, comments/reblogs are v. appreciated! ;v;
As the sun started rising, its light went through many windows of the city, waking people up with its bright shine. For many, this would be a sign to get up and start readying yourself for the day.
For Yamato Hotsuin, however, it was an incredibly rude transgression of his schedule.
His room only lost in darkness to his eyebags; there were no lights or lamps that remotely dreamed of being turned on, and the curtains had been pulled on all of the windows. Of course, the curtains themselves were also black and as thick as possible, so as not to allow any sunlight to penetrate through them and wake him up.
Obviously, Yamato had to reevaluate the quality of these curtains.
The sun shone on his face, trying to wake him up as if it was poking him on the face multiple times. He already did not get enough sleep as it was, but with this “cute companion” of his, he did not have anything resembling energy. And yet, once he reminded himself that he had to set an example not only for others, but for the him of tomorrow to follow, he immediately got off the bed, although with his eyes still half-closed.
“Today, I have to take care of some more paperwork...once this is done, I must verify each of the JP's sectors to make sure that they are running smoothly. Then compile a report with all this info and compare it to the previous one...” He repeated his schedule in his head as he navigated his house in the dark, not turning on a single light or opening a curtain. The few times that Miyako had woken up at the same time as him, she told him that he would turn into a bat like this, and then reminded him that he already looked like one.
Considering the aerial mobility of a bat, he didn't seem to particularly mind. And once he thought of biting her with his fangs if she tried to tease him, he really did not seem to mind. Unfortunately, all that he could do at the time was to hiss a “Brat” at her and continue onto his routine.
“Knowing Sako, she must already be waiting for me in front of the house..I should hurry--” Yamato thought to himself while he began to shower, but as he realized something, he let the soap fall from his hand.
“That's right...I dispatched her to verify the other JP's sectors. So today I'm stuck with...” Once he remembered who his personal secretary was today, he picked up the soap from the floor and decided that he should have a special time for relaxation right now. Hurrying up for him would really only make him lose his patience earlier.
But as much as he tried to delay himself, he still had a schedule to follow, and a few minutes later, Yamato found himself in front of his home's gate. And awaiting him…
“Hello, Yamato. Ah, actually, I suppose I should say 'Good morning'. How are you today?”
...was Alcor Saiduq, his childhood friend and personal servant.
That man had been found as an orphan by Yamato a long time ago, and while it was unlike himself to help random people that he did not know, he felt a certain sense of nostalgia. And before he knew it, he had brought him to his house.
Surprising himself once again, Yamato had ended up fighting tooth-and-nail with his family in order to have Alcor live with him. And his family accepted, under the condition that he would be raised by an outside family, and as a personal servant to Yamato, in order to start developing his leadership skills. And so it had continued until today.
“...What do you care for how I'm feeling? Let's hurry on.” Yamato only took the time to glare at him as he walked on and opened the car's door, dismissing Alcor's try to open it for him. Once the two of them were in, he looked out in front and saw Alcor's grinning face on the front mirror.
He made sure to keep glaring, as Alcor could probably see him too. He absolutely despised the little grin that he had on his face by default; perhaps it was because it looked like he knew something that he did not, which was most likely.
“When Alcor is involved, something WILL go awry.”
...Such was the law that Yamato had developed when he was young. Whenever he was given an assignment from his personal teachers that were about creativity, his first draft was usually a full-length text taking the entire paper that, instead of talking about his own ideas, instead questioned Alcor's ideas.
“Where to, Yamato?” Alcor asked with as normal a voice as the usual.
“Isn't it obvious? I have work to do at JP's today. Did Sako not pass you her schedule notes?” He asked with clear contempt in his voice to see if fear would wake Alcor up to reality. But judging from previous experience, it most likely wouldn't work.
“Oh, do not worry, I do have them at hand.” He pulled a small handbook out from his pocket. “And I also happen to have digital versions on my electronic devices. But I do wonder if you would not like to go someplace else today...” He let his words trail off.
The reason that things always went awry with Alcor was, quite simply, that he was incredibly airy and generally ended up doing whatever he wanted, even if he did not exactly mean to. And he somehow roped you into doing it.
“Alcor, I assure you that I am choosing to do my job because I want to do it right now. Do not try to take me on any detours.” Yamato once again tried to nip the problem directly in the bud. He had compiled his schedule yesterday so that there would never be a lack of things for him to do. He absolutely would not let Alcor interfere today.
“Hm...I see. I do apologize if I may have accidentally suggested that.” With only a small frown on his face, Alcor turned on the car and started driving. Despite the fact that his head was always in the clouds(and his hair even looked like one), he was incredibly competent. He was skilled in all the abilities that any butler should have and much more.
“Yamato, today you are doing a check on all the sections of JP's, correct?” The grin back on his face, Alcor decided to start conversation while he drove to the JP's building. This much, Yamato did not seem to mind. It wasn't as if he was working right now, so he thought that he might as well entertain him while he could.
“Yes, that is correct. While they have all already sent their reports, it is always best to see it with my own eyes. There is always a mistake or two to be corrected.” He spoke as if he had already practiced that line on his head quite a few times. Natural, considering how all of his friends and even some of his chattier subordinates would always ask the necessity of it.
“Then would it not be best for you to smile a bit? I do believe that with your current appearance, it may cause some of our members to become afraid and commit mistakes. You may end up thinking less of someone with amazing potential.” Alcor, too, spoke as if he had already practiced that line on his head multiple times, and Yamato felt cornered.
The two of them both had certain “trigger words” that could act against them, and the two often used them against each other. For Alcor, it was the mention of “free will”, “choices”, “desire”--if one told him that they did not want to do something, he would frown for a bit and leave them alone. As such, when Yamato would tell him that he needed to do something because it was his duty, it would often end with Alcor derailing him.
For Yamato, it was things such as “performance”, “promise” and “potential”--if someone somehow managed to convince Yamato that he was overlooking something that had incredible potential, he would end up backing down and falling to their desires. So whenever anyone suggested that something could possibly surprise him, he was roped into it and only realized what he was doing until much later.
“...While I do think that I should take that into account, JP's does not need people that can not take a single glare from their superior. If anything, they should feel glad that I am visiting them and acknowledging their work.” Although Yamato had found the right words to counter what Alcor had suggested, they were incredibly shaky, and one could tell that he didn't fully believe in what he had said.
“Hm, what were the words that Miyako would use for this kind of situation? I do believe she would say that your view is rather self-centered, perhaps around your...'huge ego'.” He made quotatons utilizing one of his hands, immediately pissing off Yamato with his perhaps unintentional passive-agressiveness. “That is to say--”
“Alcor.” As he was about to explain in nicer words what he meant, Yamato immediately interrupted him.
“Yes?” He asked, slightly surprised that he was called out in the midst of a sentence.
“Shut up and drive.” Yamato then crossed his arms and waited for them to reach their destination while staring at his reflection on the car window, trying out a smile.
It wasn't as if Yamato Hotsuin did not know how to smile, of course. He was only looking for one that was appropriate in a workplace! And he was utterly failing at that. As they got closer to the JP's building, with Alcor already entering the garage, he settled with a small grin that only made him end up looking rather sly. It was actually incredibly similar to Alcor's own…
“We've arrived.” Alcor said as he finished parking in their underground garage, hurriedly exiting the car so that he could open Yamato's door for him. However, what happened was that instead of that, he was almost hit when Yamato opened it by himself.
“Hm…despite your chattiness, you did a good job, Alcor.” Alcor's superior said as he looked at his clock, judging exactly how much time it took them from his house to here. Although there was next to no traffic at this hour, it was very uncommon to have a driver that could drive fast without letting it show by nearly crashing into things or doing sudden turns. Even he could begrudgingly admit that there was a subtle beauty to his subordinate and the way that he handled things.
Yamato hurried on by himself to the elevator, leaving Alcor behind as he locked the car, perhaps just not to look at his face after that compliment; but just as the elevator is about to close, though, the butler wastes no time in quickening his pace and finding himself right beside Yamato.
“As your personal secretary for today, I do believe it would be more advantageous if you did not try to leave me behind...” Alcor spoke to Yamato, just the smallest hint of a frown on his face. Yamato, however, decided not to concern himself with that.
“It is exactly because you are my personal secretary that I expect you to keep up with my pace.” He closed his eyes and looked down, perhaps in preparation of what he was about to say. “I would not want to expect any less of you, after all.” ...And then, the elevator's doors opened. Yamato was truly on a roll of running away from embarrassing compliments today.
“Hm...I see. I'm glad, Yamato.” The butler was taken aback by the sudden compliment for just the briefest of seconds, but after a while, gave off a smile that seemed to shine like the sun. Some of the surrounding JP's officers, that were at a safe enough distance not to be noticed, elbowed each other and made comments about him.
...It was only from time to time, but whenever Alcor showed up at JP's, there was a riot. JP's accepted new people on a daily basis, of course, so only a certain number of people that had been working there for quite some time now would understand the significance of his presence at JP's.
He had once been Yamato's personal butler at all times, before he was moved to take care of Miyako. This resulted in him often coming to JP's and providing some rather fun-filled days for the employees there, who often got to see many...different sides of their Chief, seeing as he couldn't really do much with his butler besides badmouth and glare at him. Not only that, he also helped with all kinds of odd jobs, ranging from paperwork, research and even manual labor.
After walking for a tad, the two of them had finally reached Yamato's office. Yamato, as always, did not delay in taking a seat on his chair and started analyzing the paperwork on his desk, that had been completely untouched since yesterday. In only a matter of seconds, he was completely focused, making it seem as if someone had hit the pause button on him yesterday and then resumed today.
Alcor, on the other hand, merely stood around in proper position, possibly waiting for an order from Yamato. But being a long-time servant of his...he knew very well how invested the young Chief would get in his paperwork.
“Yamato, considering how early you were to meet me at the gate today...you did not yet have breakfast, correct?” He questioned with a grin on his face. Even if not to serve Yamato, just getting to do something was about enough for him, considering it was very likely that his master planned on having him practically on a leash all day.
After Alcor called out to him, Yamato lifted his face up from the documents and stared straight at him, making eye contact as he processed what exactly he would say. He didn't want to give his subordinate enough leverage to cause trouble to him later on.
“...No, I did not. If you are intending to feed me something, however, only a coffee will be enough.” After saying that, Yamato went back to looking at his documents.
“I do believe that drinking only coffee would be bad for your stomach--”
“Only a coffee will be enough.” He repeated himself a lot more sternly this time, but Alcor did not allow himself to be shaken.
“I'll be back in a few minutes with it. Please wait a bit.” He said as he walked out the room.
“I didn't even notice that I had skipped breakfast...and he's really not the only person to tell me to fix up that habit of mine, either. I suppose I should be thankful to him for being this attentive.” Yamato let his mind wander as he began mindlessly signing a few papers that he had already read, putting them aside one by one. Once he had spent a few minutes doing that, he heard the door creak.
“Yamato, I've returned with your coffee.” Alcor spoke as he entered, his tone of voice a little bit more happy than the usual.
“Thank you--?!” As Yamato looked up once again, he saw that Alcor had taken a mug of coffee and attached several serving plates to it, in the way that you would see on tea party tables. On them were essentials such as breads, sandwiches, sweets, and other breakfast foods.
...Before Alcor turned to close the door, he could see various JP's members trying to spy on them, some of them staring in surprise, some of them having giggle fits over not only Alcor's new invention, but at how bold he was to show up with a normal smile.
“…Alcor.” Yamato put down the paper and pen he was holding with as much calm as he could muster, trying to keep his composure. He obviously did not want to yell at him and give more material for the imagination of his employees. “I do believe that I told you I only wanted a coffee.”
“Yes, Yamato.” Alcor then said, approaching Yamato's desk and putting the mug of coffee there. “And I have brought you, exactly, one mug of coffee. I do think that you should enjoy your breakfast.” His smile was the same as always.
“Alcor, if I may ask you a question...” Yamato said, taking a loaf of bread from one of the serving plates and examining it. “Do you, perhaps, have a death wish?” He then begrudgingly took a rather vicious bite of it.
“My only wish is to make sure that you have good health...but seeing as I cannot do that, I simply brought you a mug of coffee.” The butler said this with as monotone a voice as he could muster. But to Yamato, that was definitely the last straw. There was absolutely no way that he did this out of a lack of common sense, but even so…
“I am glad to see that you are eating well, though.” When he made that kind of incredibly dumb smile for next to no reason, Yamato was left in doubt once again. Deciding that wondering about something that he couldn't figure out ever since he was a child, he focused on the papers in front of him, signing the ones that he had already read and approved with one hand while eating with the other. Before he knew it, all of the food in the serving plate had gone away, as he tried to grab something else to chew and found nothing.
“...It seems as if you were quite hungry.” Alcor said so with a smile as he walked to Yamato's desk and popped off the handles keeping the plates in place, now turning the coffee mug back into what it should be.
“...I simply took the opportunity to fill myself while I could. I'll make sure to not eat so much at lunch.” He hid his embarrassment by taking the mug and practically downing it to cover his face. By now, the coffee wasn't so hot, so at least that wasn't a problem. Alcor watched intently as his boss finished the mug in a matter of seconds after that.
“Would you like me to bring a refill?” The butler asked, satisfied now that he had done all that he could. It was unlikely that he would try something like that again.
“Mm...it does help me focus a bit. Bring another mug, if you will.” Yamato nonchalantly asked, and he was quick to bow, take the mug and then be right on his way to refill it. Once he got back, Yamato gratefully took it and was delighted to find that there wasn't anything attached to it. He continued with his paperwork while Alcor waited silently.
Steadily, the amount of documents on Yamato's desk decreased, and after some time had passed, he got off his seat and stood up. As if he had been waiting most anxiously for this, Alcor turned his head immediately.
“Yamato, shall we move on to inspecting the other sectors now?” ...The butler's desire to move around and do something wasn't very apparent on his face, but Yamato could tell from experience. He was a professional butler, after all, but he was still very much human when it came to this kind of thing.
“Actually, I am just taking a bathroom break. I still have more documents to analyze before even thinking of moving onto another job.” He spoke as if that was completely obvious, and he immediately saw Alcor's face grow paler, which was a feat for someone like him. After getting a grin on his face, Yamato opened the front door of his office and simply proclaimed “Let's go.”
“I thought you were taking a bathroom break…? Weren't there other documents to attend to?” Alcor took a second look at his boss' desk, before quickening his pace to follow him. As they passed by several JP's employees, Alcor would wave at a few of them once he was done with each sentence.
“Heh, have you no sense of humor? That was a joke.” Yamato let out a chuckle that sounded more like a forced grunt. “The time for fun is over, however. Right now we really are going to inspect the other sectors.”
...Alcor questioned exactly how short that time for fun was in his head, trying to count it. It surely was no longer than a few seconds. He would have to talk with Yamato about that later.
“Yamato, they do say that words have power. If you say things like that too much, surely you will have a stomachache and a lot of other documents will appear for you to deal with. I suggest not joking about that.” The butler made an incredibly superstitious remark, which only caused Yamato's eyebrows to raise for a bit before he finally scoffed.
“Words are only that, words. There is absolutely no way that they would be more powerful than me, so I am not worried.” He explained his reasoning to Alcor, who seemed rather doubtful of it. Not wanting to hear anymore of small talk, though, he moved on to business. “The first sector we're visiting is the Medical one. From their reports, it seems that while the quality of the machines and their treatment of patients is fine, they are getting overloaded with them and thus aren't able to focus on their research. Which I find odd, as from what it seems, most of the treatments are due to injuries and not sicknesses.”
“Hm...it's been a long time since we've dabbled into any demon summoning, is that not correct? I thought that so far, we've only really been studying the potential of people's own spiritual energy...” Alcor put a finger to his chin as he started trying to remember the JP's procedures from his time. Although he had said that it was a “long time ago”, ever since Yamato took the reins of JP's, demon summoning had been banned by him.
“Of course. I banned demon summoning exactly because it was unnecessary and caused more injuries than expected. There is no reason for this to be happening...but we'll see when we get there.” Despite what Yamato had said, it's not as if he had banned it after giving it a chance. Rather, he had an incredibly bad feeling about it ever since he was born and had conducted some; to him, it was as if it shouldn't have been able to exist to begin with.
Even so, he had allowed a certain few to research it, although only on his own terms, which usually involved using him as the summoner in case they ever needed to conduct any experiments. While he did not particularly fancy a future with it, demon summoning was a technology that could potentially revolutionize the world if used correctly. But he wasn't planning on taking any risks with it.
With the two both deep in thought, they finally approached the medical sector of JP's. As they opened the door, they were greeted by an incredibly familiar blonde.
“Oh, if it isn't the Chief and Alcor. You're here a bit earlier than expected.” Otome adressed them as soon as they looked at her, popping that same gentle smile of always.
“I've heard that the time before the examination period is when the most mistakes are made, mostly due to the nervousness that comes along with it. I thought I might as well take care of that as soon as possible.” As Yamato spoke, trying to put up a grin so as not to seem too scary, he turned his head to look around at the workers.
...All of the doctors and nurses had their eyes on him like hawks, but as soon as he made eye contact with them, they jumped and immediately went back to treating their patients or continuing their research. Some of them ended up switching what they were doing after the jump. Hearing all of that, Otome could only put her hand to her head as she shook it.
“Well...I suppose that is a good idea.” She let out a sigh just before she pepped herself back up and started walking, leading their small tour throughout the place. “Either way, as you can see, everyone is doing their best here, but like I said in the report...” She turned to show her hand towards all the occupied beds.
“We are overloaded with injured patients day in and day out, unfortunately. Their injuries are mostly minor, usually consisting of burns and the like. Today it seems like the amount of patients we've been receiving has mostly reduced, but since it's still early in the day, I'm not sure if I'm speaking too soon.” Alcor noted the difference on Otome's face between when she was working and when she wasn't. While most of the time she seemed like the odd man out in the JP's group with Makoto, Fumi, and Ronaldo with her happy-go-lucky demeanor, it was at times like this that she showed her true talent. That he aspired to be like her was no secret to everyone except her, who did not believe it.
“Yanagiya, have you any idea of what could be causing this?” Yamato asked her as he looked away and made hand motions towards Alcor, calling out “Hey! Come back!” as the butler stopped midway to look at one of the patients and chat with the doctors. As he came back, Otome let out a giggle.
“You shouldn't worry about this kind of thing so much, Chief. It's nice to have a good relationship with your coworkers.” As soon as Yamato heard this, he grunted in his mind. He thought about keeping a tally of how many people would tell him that he's scary or that he needed to be more sociable today. “I've tried asking a few of the patients, and while they mostly look away instead of answering me...it seems to be related to the spiritual research sector. I've been busy here, so I haven't had the time to talk with Fumi about it...” Taking all of what Otome said into consideration, Yamato turned and began to walk.
“Thank you, Yanagiya. I'll be moving onto that sector now, so leave all this to me. Let's go, Alcor.” Predictably, Alcor had stopped to chat with Otome now, and neither of them had paid attention to what Yamato was saying.
“Please do tell Koharu that I said hi. I'll try to have some sweets for her next time I see her.” He spoke with an incredibly sincere smile.
“Haha, how kind of you...but I think I'd prefer if you brought her some more nutritious food. You know how I am with cooking.” The two chuckled like two housewives as they recalled her complete lack of culinary ability.
“Alcor.” Yamato called out to him once again, not even turning to look at him, only tapping his feet on the floor. The JP's employees around had stopped working and were gossiping and giggling, waiting to see what would happen.
“Does Koharu have a favorite? I could perhaps make it for her...” Alcor paid him no mind, though, not hearing any of it. Otome, too, was rather focused on the question being asked right now, as she started considering what exactly Koharu even ate.
“Um...well, do noodles count?” Otome asked. Although she had been taking care of Koharu for almost a year now, all of the non-instant food she had eaten was prepared by Otome, and therefore, she had completely hated it.
“Alcor! Do you have a death wish?!” He finally turned and practically barked at Alcor's side, who looked at him as if he really had not noticed.
“Wait a bit, Yamato.” He put a finger to his mouth and made a single 'Shh' as he turned back to Otome, who was surprised at the sheer quantity of courage that someone would need to have to do that to the Chief. “The next time I see her, I'll have a lot of food for her to experiment, okay? Tell her to look forward to it.” He gave one last smile before walking in front of Yamato by mistake, and then stopping to let him lead. His master opened his mouth for only the briefest of moments in a display of surprise, disgust, and offended pride before grunting and walking on, causing everyone in the vicinity to try their best to hide their giggling.
“I'm sure she will!” Otome yelled at Alcor as the two walked out of the sector, and once a minute had passed...her, the employees, and even the patients completely lost their calm, laughing so hard that most of them were banging their fists on something, making a complete ruckus. Some of the patients even started coughing.
Yamaot practically stormed his way to the spiritual research sector, fuming with a mix of wrath, rage, and anger. And then, upon contemplating it, all of those three boiled down to the same thing, but even so they were not able to describe the intensity of the young Chief's rage.
“I apologize, Yamato. Did I get too caught up in my conversation with Otome?” Alcor asked as he followed him, his steps as silent as ever. He was afraid that just any word, any sound more than needed would only end up angering his master even more.
“...Alcor.” Yamato stopped for just a bit, causing Alcor to almost bump into him. The servant stopped right in his tracks as if he was a car about to crash. “May I ask something of you?”
...It was rather unusual for Yamato to be so polite, which surprised Alcor, although he did not let it show on his face. He decided not to take any conclusions from that and just answer as he was trained to.
“But of course, Yamato. Is there something you need?” He put up a convincing smile to ease his master's worries, but it seemed like it worked in the opposite way.
“Be quiet and follow me. Speak only when absolutely necessary. Simply do that for the rest of the day.” He then continued on his way while Alcor stopped to think over what he said, quickly following after him soon after.
“If I may ask...what exactly do you define as 'necessary'?” Alcor asked with a tinge of honest sadness and confusion in his voice. Those words, that tone—they felt exceedingly familiar to him, as if from a distant memory. He felt as if doing and saying only the necessary was something that he should be good at, and yet felt completely incompatible with.
“Isn't it obvious? Any employee of JP's, and especially mine, should be able to tell that for themselves.” Yamato spoke with next to no hesitation, as if reciting words from a book. “What you just said, and what you spoke with Yanagiya earlier were unnecessary. Take that as a hint.”
As soon as he heard that, Alcor's eyes became distant for a bit, looking to any direction that wasn't Yamato's back. To him, that was truly...a most familiar order. A most familiar feeling. But once he reminded himself that his job as a butler was to keep Yamato's best interests in mind, he did his best to brush them off and silently follow after him.
...The air between the two had become incredibly tense by now, to the point that JP's workers could notice from a distance. Perhaps it was because Alcor did not have his signature grin on his face, or maybe it was the dominating sound Yamato made everytime his feet hit the floor. Either way, it unnerved them to the point that they did their best to avoid crossing paths with these two.
Once they finally reached the spiritual research sector, Fumi was already waiting for them, tapping at her phone. She put it away as soon as she noticed them.
“If it isn't the Chief and Alcor. Good thing you're here.” Without even waiting for them to greet her back, Fumi started making her way through the sector, the two men following after her immediately.
“Is there a reason for you to be waiting so eagerly for us?” Yamato asked, noticing that whatever the reason was, it would probably be connected to whatever problem was currently haunting this sector. As they walked, Alcor noticed that a large amount of the workers were hurrying along the place, all of them as focused as they could be. They weren't motivated by fear of him and Yamato, and unlike the case with the Medical sector, they seemed too busy to even notice that they were there—their demeanor made them seem a lot more like robots.
...Alcor wondered if that was what Yamato desired of him. He watched them intently.
“Good thing you're quick to get things. We've got a few problems here, and the sooner we can be done with them the sooner I can get back to my research.” The scientist spoke with her usual inconvenienced tone, making it hard to tell exactly the scope of the problem. Once they finally stopped by the examination area, though, she signaled with her head for them to look at the researchers and the people that they were experimenting on.
As they watched the experiments unfold, not a single one of them seemed to go well. Some of them caused the devices to explode on the test subjects, some of them caused minor burns, some of them just fell on them. And without even caring towards that, they got up soon after for another test, with the researchers only slightly tinkering with the machine.
“...Right now, the state of our machines is deplorable. It's not really something that you would usually notice on one look, since it's caused by their age and the amount of use that they get. Some of them are used non-stop, 24 hours a day.” She explained as she walked over and lightly kicked one of the machines that a researcher was using, causing it to completely turn off. “See?” She sighed as the researcher went completely crazy, checking what was wrong with it before noticing what Fumi had done.
“You--” As they were about to yell at Fumi, though, they realized that Yamato was there. “A-ah, Chief! I apologize, I'll get back to work right now--” As they panicked, Fumi spoke over them.
“And then these idiots want to keep working despite these conditions, afraid of under performing. I've already moved on to my personal research until these get fixed and told them to wait, but they won't listen. This amount of… dedication has always been a constant, but I can't say I expected it to get to this level.” She shrugged after she was done speaking, and Yamato stopped to consider exactly what was happening here, putting a hand to his chin.
“...You.” He addressed the panicked researcher that was desperately hitting the machine, trying to restart it. “That machine will obviously not work. Why do you insist on it?” Although in his mind he had only made a simple question—one of the simplest, really, in his opinion—the researcher cowered once again.
“I apologize once again, Chief…! I'll rearrange my schedule so I can share a working machine with one of the other researchers immediately!” The researcher blurted that out as they ran away to plead with the others before Yamato could get an answer. As he watched in confusion, Fumi spoke once again.
“...I'm not one with experience on others' feelings, but we researchers are usually only good at this. All we can do is research, and that kind of thing isn't manageable on its own. The chances of it putting bread on the table are even less.” She said in a tone of voice that was slightly more empathetic than her usual, although only Alcor noticed that. “JP's is a miracle for them, and JP's wants results in exchange, most of which can't be produced immediately in our work. Sum all that up and you've got a pretty disturbed bunch of individuals, I'd say.”
...For a moment after that, there was only silence as they watched the researcher plead to the others, listening to the constant typing into the machines and the dull sound of explosions coming from the experimentation rooms. Once Fumi realized that Yamato was still having some trouble processing exactly what he should do, and that Alcor wasn't planning on saying anything, she sighed and decided to speak up before she wasted any more time.
“Either way, if I were you, I wouldn't concern myself about it. It's been happening here for a pretty long time, so just focus on getting some new machines for these idiots soon and they'll stop overloading the Medical sector with their screwups.” She spoke in as nonchalant a tone of voice as humanly possible before starting to walk away. Showing sympathy wasn't her forte, and it was most certainly not what Yamato wanted, at least not coming from her.
“...I see. I shall keep that in mind. Thank you, Kanno.” He said to her as he also started to walk off, making his way back to his office. As they left, Alcor sadly looked back to them for a brief moment before doing his best to look in front of him. But even then, he had to deal with the injured test subjects making their way to the Medical sector, only after lasting as much as they could in the experiments. Some of them could barely walk.
...Despite Yamato's previous orders, Alcor rushed to one of them that was incredibly close to falling and helped them walk. Yamato only looked towards them for a brief moment and slowed his pace, but pretended not to notice.
“Why are you not calling for the nurses…?!” Alcor asked the person, their face as pale as it could be. They laughed bitterly.
“…I can't waste any more of JP's resources. It'll reflect even worse on my personal report...there's no way I can do that.” They explained as if it was obvious, which only made Alcor feel even more conflicted. Upon seeing an employee wearing the medical sector's uniform, Alcor called them over.
“Please take this person to the medical sector.” He said with zero hesitation as he let them take the person he was helping, who seemed terrified.
“You can't--!” As they were about to protest, Alcor cut them off.
“Please, do not worry.” He said to them, and then turned back to the employee that he had called. “I would like for you to put down in the report that I personally removed them from their work and took them to be treated in the medical sector.” As soon as the employee nodded and ran off with their new patient, Alcor practically ran back to Yamato, who made no comment about it, only returning his pace back to normal.
...As they silently returned to his office, Yamato took a seat and already began taking a look at the previous reports that he had read. His duty now was to compile his own personal report based on his observations and only then read it alongside the previous one and compare, but he didn't care for the proceedings anymore.
...He had wanted to know how they had described the situation that he saw in those sectors. He wanted to know exactly which words they had used to explain those situations to him, because he did not understand them.
In the report for the spiritual energy research sector, there was only the mention that they needed new machines.
In the report for the medical sector, they only spoke about the needs for perhaps more doctors and some more accomodations.
...Of course. After all, what need did they have to explain the state that his subordinates were in to him? It was the natural state of the JP's controlled by Yamato Hotsuin. It had its own set of rules, its own society where only those who were the most talented, who could bring out the best of the resources offered by him... stayed.
Taking risks in order to generate results was only natural for a JP's employee.
Injuring yourself in order to generate results was only natural for a JP's employee.
Killing your own weakness in order to generate results was only natural for a JP's employee.
...Yamato rationalized those thoughts in his head as he fiercely stared at the papers that he was holding. A rather large amount of time had passed and he had yet to type a single word into his laptop, still reading and rereading the reports that he was given.
Alcor looked at the time on his cellphone, and then looked back at Yamato, who had been frozen there for quite a while. He thought if he should say something to snap him out of it, if he should discuss what they had seen before...if they should discuss what his leadership meant to those people and this organization.
But once again, he remembered that he was in no position to do that. The person known as Alcor Saiduq was, too, an employee of JP's, whose duty was to aid Yamato Hotsuin in the best way that he could. Any honest words or advice from a person as weak as him would only get in his superior's way. So, he only swallowed and silently took his handbook from his pocket and flipped through its pages.
“Yamato...I suggest that you take to finishing the report now. According to your schedule, you should have it finished by lunch break, so that you can attend to other duties.” He spoke with as cold a voice as he could muster. He slightly shook a bit as he said those words, and was rather afraid of how it had come out.
...No matter how he looked at it, he truly was made to be someone's subordinate.
“...Yes, of course.” Yamato snapped out of it and replied back to Alcor, but then went right back to it as he put the report beside his laptop and stared at it from time to time. Although he was most definitely typing, he hit the backspace key several times each minute, and anyone could see that he wasn't getting anything done.
His servant only watched his efforts and cheered on him from afar, without showing it. There was no need to, after all…or so he thought, until he realized that the lunch break was closely approaching. He would have to do something himself, for the sake not of his boss, but his friend.
“...Yamato. I shall go prepare your lunch now. Please excuse me.” were the only words that the butler left behind as he walked away from the room, not receiving a single word of acknowledgment back from his friend.
But as soon as he left, Yamato took a deep sigh, and started chuckling to himself. There was no way that he would have let Alcor of all people look at him like this.
“This had been happening for quite a while now, huh...of course it was. I didn't see anything wrong with it before.” He thought to himself as he looked up to the ceiling. “There was no reason to really preoccupy myself with weak people. The only thing that they do is drag the talented ones down with them. If they hurt themselves or put themselves in danger because they're trying to emulate the strong ones, that's their own fault.”
He typed out his thoughts into the laptop, the ruthless rationale that had come from him in the past. And when he read it all...he laughed, once again.
“That really does sound like something that I would say. And yet, I can't completely accept it...” He pondered as he started hitting the backspace key, erasing all that he had typed. “There was most definitely something affecting me to stop thinking like this a long time ago, but pinpointing it...perhaps because of...” He found his mind wandering into the image of a certain boy, one of the few that he would easily admit to calling his friend. No, perhaps even closer than that...much closer.
As the melancholy started setting into his mind and heart, though, he got up from his chair and swiftly kicked the table. Once the pain set into his body, he smiled like a maniac and sat back onto his chair, now ready to actually focus.
“I can't waste any more time on thinking what is right and what isn't. I am JP's chief, Yamato Hotsuin. Providing not only machines, but a place where I can nurture the talents of both the common and the gifted is no worry for me. Once I've compiled this report, I'll take to readdressing all of our working policies...” A grin appeared onto his face as he started compiling a report that heavily criticized the situation that his workers were in, almost as if he wasn't doing it to his own company.
In a matter of minutes, he had already written the entirety of it, to the point that when Alcor came back into the room, he was already comparing one to the other.
“You're late.” were the only words of welcome that Yamato had for his subordinate. “I could've finished my entire report in the time that it took you to prepare it. In fact, I did do that.” Although it wasn't clear to anybody else right now, he was incredibly filled with pride and wanted to talk. In a way, he was like a puppy after executing a trick right for the first time. Something that only Alcor could tell.
“Hmhm, is that so.” The butler chuckled as he realized that perhaps his help was rather unnecessary, and accidentally let slip words that weren't allowed. He decided that Yamato had probably already forgotten his order from before, though. At the very least, he had other things in his mind.
“I hope that this was worth the wait, then.” Alcor spoke as he brought a rather big tray filled with rows of takoyaki on it. Not just the smell, but also the heat that they emitted were enough to cause a visible surprise on his boss' eyes, not to mention his slight movement of the lips. His stomach was clearly starting a riot right about now, and the sight in front of him was the best kind of news that he could receive.
“...I do not remind telling you to prepare this for lunch.” Yamato said, but despite his words, he was quick to shove one of them into his mouth right after speaking.
“Hmm, perhaps so. But I thought that you would enjoy it, as you seemed rather...troubled.” Alcor picked out his words carefully, as not to evoke a too strong reaction from Yamato. “Would you prefer that I bring it back and cook something else instead?” He then changed the topic with a smile, obviously teasing him. There was simply no way that the human being known as Yamato Hotsuin would ever reject takoyaki.
“…!! Do not assume things so quickly!” Yamato almost pointed one of his takoyaki at Alcor, but quickly stopped himself from doing something so silly. “Although your assumptions and your desire to do things out of schedule are definitely troublesome, they were correct this time. …...Thank you.” He practically puked out those last two words, and rewarded himself by shoving yet another takoyaki into his mouth.
The two shared a rather uneventful lunch as Yamato occasionally shoved takoyaki in his mouth while he fiddled around in his laptop, typing a few things here and there onto his report again, only stopping that to clear his throat with some tea courtesy of Alcor. Once some time had passed and there was no more food or drink in front of Yamato for him to consume, the butler started clearing the desk.
“I'll be taking away these away now.” He spoke as he piled up the dishes, which just really consisted of the tray, a cup and the bottle that had once contained the tea. As he started reaching for the door Yamato suddenly called out to him.
“...Your cuisine was most commendable. I have to admit that there really is no comparing to yours, most of the time.” He tried to keep his high-and-mighty tone as JP's Chief while he said this, but Alcor could notice that he was trying a bit too hard. It just wasn't arrogant enough to be a spot-on impression.
“Thank you, Yamato. I'm just glad you enjoyed it.” He smiled sincerely, incredibly happy with the sudden change in Yamato's mood. Although he felt a tad useless at how his takoyaki didn't truly do the job, it seems like they were at least the cherry on top of his emotional cake.
“But one more thing.” He then called out to Alcor as he was starting to leave again, this time, his Chief Tone being the genuine thing. “I'd like you to pass by the spiritual energy research sector and tell them to cease all functions for the time being.” He spoke with concrete determination, which was completely unbecoming of the situation that he had just proposed.
...Not once, in the history of JP's, had they ever ceased function in any part of it. Not for a single day since his ancestors had created it. Even when most members were granted some kind of vacation(and only after a much longer working period), they usually had someone to replace them or do overtime. Understandably, Alcor was shaken up.
“...Yamato. It may not be my place to say this, but...” He spoke that last remark with a certain sadness in his voice. “While I do believe I understand your intentions, it may worsen the feelings of the workers right now. They will most definitely believe that they will all be replaced for an entirely new team or even worse, based on this cease function order...” He put his free hand to his chin in thought.
When in an already stressful situation, removing yourself from the situation could be beneficial. But when one is forcefully removed from it...it just worsens the psychological consequences on the person, at least in the short term. No matter how he thought of it, this would be a bad move for Yamato.
“I understand, but that's not all. Since they seem to be so overactive, I'd like you to also order them to focus on compiling all the data from the current machines to be transferred to the new ones. This is to be conducted in their own homes. At the very least, experiments and research are to be ceased immediately. Those who have nothing to do are free to...” He mused over his thoughts for a bit, considering what he should ask them to do, until a sudden flash hit his mind. “...Help in Kanno's research as her own personal assistants.” He spoke with a near devilish grin, and Alcor chuckled.
“...I suppose that will do for now, but even so, it might take some time for the machines to arrive here. Are you planning on perhaps using the Terminal…?” By now, Alcor had already re-entered the room and closed the door, leaning on it. He planned on supporting Yamato all the way throughout this scheming.
“No, it's too dangerous. We've only tested the Terminal as far as human sizes go, and so transporting the larger machines would be a rather big risk to take. Not only that, it's still not completely stable, and we've only got it fully operational on a few other branches.” He mused on that, seeing as he hadn't even thought of it until Alcor had mentioned it. “Instead, I'm going to ask Sako to issue for at least a small amount of shipments to come along with her, so they can at least do minimal work.”
“Understood. Shall I mention that part to them as well?” Alcor asked as he put the dishes down and took a few notes on his handbook, in order to make sure that he would not forget any of that when he relayed it to them.
“Yes. Also, this is for all the other sectors in general: tell them to prepare for a new health exam in some time. To the Medical sector, tell them to take care of that as soon as their workload is diminished considerably...at their own time, of course. I don't want a repeat of the previous situation.” As he said that, Alcor smiled.
“Hmhm...you are truly kind, Yamato. I'm glad to have you as a Chief, and I'm sure everyone else too.” He spoke as he slowly closed his eyes, almost like a cat, which completely threw Yamato off his groove.
“I-It's only natural to watch out for one's own subordinates. Just about anyone in a leadership position should know that. Don't think that shooting compliments and giving me such half-baked advice will get you anything from me.” And then, once again, he fell from his incredibly self-important and commanding tone of voice to a cheap knockoff one that he used to hide his embarrassment. Alcor couldn't help but chuckle at it.
“Of course not.” He said as he picked up the dishes once again and began to open the door once again, this time confident that he would leave for real. After all…
“I have faith in you, Yamato.” He would leave by smiling and leaving an embarrassing compliment for the young Chief, who would agonize over it on his desk for quite a while before immersing himself in work to ignore it.
“Damn you, Alcor...there is absolutely nothing that I despise more than you!” He thought to himself as he got up from his chair and began to take out an incredible amount of books and texts from the bookshelf he had in his office, practically throwing them to his desk in anger.
“I couldn't care less for the faith he or anyone else has in me, but I have my own expectations to attend to. As long as Yamato Hotsuin is alive, he must work on surpassing himself as much as possible...” He repeated that last remark in his head for quite some time as he analyzed the texts in front of him.
...All of them had been books and agendas from his predecessors, containing their instructions and the methods that they utilized in their own leadership. When he was young, all of these had been required reading for him, which was often a bummer for Alcor, who often exchanged books and recommendations with him. Miyako, on the other hand, had been completely invested in those, reading exactly twice as much as Yamato, which made him unsure if she was doing it out of genuine interest or just to one-up him.
He singled out the pages that contained solely the information regarding the decisions and the schedules that they had set up a long time ago. A large part of these contained discoveries regarding spiritual and demonic research, but those weren't what he was interested into this time. While he could recite most of these books off the top of his head and apply their knowledge perfectly...that wasn't important to him right now.
He would have to read and reread every single one of them not to follow and understand them better, but yes to plan policies and schedules for JP's that would completely overcome these old ideas. Ever since he had taken hold of JP's not long ago, all that he had done was keeping up their work. The most revolutionary part of his recent rule was the mass recruitment of new personnel, but he decided that this would prove absolutely useless if he could not make the best possible use of them without breaking them in the process.
...It didn't take him too long for his desk to be completely covered in books and texts, back to his normal position of one hand holding the text he was reading and one hand on the laptop, typing something out. Once Alcor walked back into the room and saw this, he felt slightly accomplished.
“Alcor.” Yamato spoke after a few seconds, looking up from his papers. “...How did they react to it?” He asked. He wouldn't use the word “fearing” for this, but to say that he was fearing the reaction of his workers wasn't exactly wrong, in a certain way.
“They seemed rather...confused.” Alcor spoke with a certain hint of doubt on his face, unsure of what words to use to describe what he saw. “I'd say that it went about as expected, with them rather confused by your decisions and fearing what it meant to them. They hung around for a bit aimlessly, only turning off the machines and shutting down experiments. After that, they either packed their things to compile data at home, or started following Fumi around as if they were ducklings.” He chuckled as he said so, while Yamato only raised an eyebrow and grinned.
“How annoyed was she?” Yamato asked.
“As much as you'd expect.” Alcor said with the same devilish grin. “Thankfully, it seems as if she was way too focused on taking her anger out on them to really make any comments towards me.”
“Hah, that's good. Kanno has many talents, but patience is most definitely not one of them.” He spoke with an incredibly contented face, as Alcor stared at him in slight confusion, as he often heard that exact same sentence...except Fumi's name was replaced with Yamato's. He decided that this was only a silly little twist of fate and let it be, however.
As they shared a small moment of silence while Yamato worked, Alcor began taking a gander at the documents that Yamato wasn't currently using, actually reading them seriously for the first time since his childhood. He had never particularly thought that they were interesting, and whenever he tried to talk about them with Yamato it'd only result in him going on a long lesson about them.
(Most recently, when he was assigned to be Miyako's own personal butler, he ended up having to deal with her own lectures of them, which ended up being a lot longer than Yamato's. Now that he was slightly more mature, though, he mostly clapped and went along with her, often asking a few questions, which greatly pleased her ego)
“By the way, Yamato. Although you are working on the new JP's policy as of right now…when exactly do you plan on implementing it?” Alcor asked his boss, who was incredibly focused on his papers. He probably already knew the answer on the back of his head, but he thought that he might as well get the answer from the man himself.
Without taking his eyes away from his texts, Yamato only let out a single “Hm...” as he thought about how long it would take him to formulate it and implement it. Since it was a general policy, he would have to address every single working part of JP's, their schedules, and discuss it with the representatives of said parts, not even just the sectors themselves, as they each had their own subdivisions. All of that considered, if he wanted to reduce the amount of firing that happened inside JP's, that also meant that he would have to rework the budget so that they would not face any financial problems.
After taking all of that into consideration, Yamato took a single deep breath and answered Alcor.
“Hm...a week, perhaps?” He spoke with a rather uncertain tone, as if perhaps that was way too much time for him. As soon as Alcor heard his answer, he sighed. He would really have to watch out for his friend.
“Don't you think that may be too little time for something so big?” Alcor decided to take the bait and answer Yamato despite what the result would probably be. Just as expected, Yamato looked at him as if he had been personally insulted.
“...I actually do believe that it is a tad too much time, actually. Assuming that I dedicate myself to this task, it should take no longer than that, at a stretch. I do not see why you would even assume that it would take longer than that.” As if his indignation had fueled him, he typed onto the keyboard even faster than before.
“I just thought that perhaps a longer amount of time would allow for the vision of your new policies to develop themselves better in your head...” Alcor made up an excuse as fast as he could, and Yamato glared at him. It obviously hadn't worked.
“They are already fully developed in my head. If anything, I should focus on putting them into practice as soon as possible while they are still fresh in my mind. It wouldn't do for anything to get in its way.” He spoke without a single shred of hesitation in his voice, and in that moment, Alcor realized that none of his efforts to dissuade Yamato from work would have any effect on him.
However, despite what many would believe, Yamato Hotsuin was also human and had weaknesses. In his priority list, there was always something that came before work, no matter what Yamato was working on. And that certain something, according to Alcor's texts from a few days ago, just happened to be in Osaka.
Alcor put down the papers that he was reading and returned to the corner of the room, on standby. It was already noon, and he decided that by the time his plan had gone into motion, Yamato would already have done a decent amount of work. He only wanted to interrupt him from overworking himself, after all—not completely stopping it.
Seeing that Yamato was completely distracted by his papers by now, he quickly took out his phone and sent out a text to a friend of his. Then, around half a hour later (which Alcor spent practically dozing off as he looked at a wall), both his and Yamato's phones beeped.
“A text…?” Yamato practically jumped as soon as he heard the sound of it. There was only a handful of people that had his phone number, and there was an even smaller number of people who would text him, especially at working hours. He had yet to text Makoto about the machine delivery, so it couldn't possibly be her. Thinking it must have been Miyako, he took it out of his pocket to check it out at the same time Alcor took out his.
Once he checked his phone's screen, he realized that the text was from Hibiki. He questioned exactly why his friend would be in Osaka as he opened the message…
“EMERGENCY!! Yamato, Alcor, come quick!” Was all that the message said, also containing a picture of the area that he was in.
“Alcor…!” Yamato quickly got off his chair and practically barked at his butler, who just nodded quietly. The two walked out of the office right away and started making their way to the garage.
“I believe that I recognize this area...we should be able to get there in few minutes.” Alcor reassured Yamato as they dashed into the elevator, with him practically punching the buttons to the garage.
“Then make it so that we are able to get there in a few seconds. Drive as fast as you possibly can!” Yamato ran to the car as soon as the elevator's doors opened, with Alcor chuckling before following suit, as the young Chief had to make a full stop once he tried to open the doors since Alcor hadn't yet unlocked it.
Once they were in the car, Alcor did as promised and sped up a significant amount from his normal driving. As expected, his superior did not bat a single eye at that.
“Yamato, I do believe that it would be prudent of you to wear your seat belt.” He spoke with an incredibly self-contained voice, for someone that was apparently in a rush. Yamato found that rather odd, but reminded himself that it wasn't uncommon for Alcor to constantly be able to keep his calm.
“I do believe it's unnecessary seeing as I told you to arrive there in a matter of seconds...” He said as he groaned and put it on. He crossed his arms and waited for them to arrive at their destination, but even then, he constantly tapped one of his fingers on his arm. Soon, he was also tapping his foot on the floor of the car, until they had finally arrived at the area in the picture and parked.
“It should be around here--” Before Alcor could even finish the sentence, Yamato already had practically jumped out of the car, already out into the street and looking everywhere for any sign of Hibiki. He spotted him right in front of the entrance to a movie theater, waving at him. He quickly ran as Alcor locked the car and followed suit.
“Whoa, you guys were pretty fast--” Before Hibiki could even finish his sentence, Yamato was quick to put his hands on the other boy's shoulders and catch his breath.
“What's the emergency? Why are you in Osaka?!” He bombarded him with questions, not paying attention to the looks that he was exchanging with Alcor, who was behind him. After telling Yamato to calm down and relax a bit, he began to answer them one by one.
“I came here with Daichi and Io to take part in some university tests. We were going to meet up here for a movie after the test, but it seems like the two of them are going to still take some time, and the movie's starting in just a bit…” He spoke with an incredibly goofy smile on his face, much reminiscent of Alcor's grin. “I already paid for the tickets, so I thought that I might as well invite you two.”
...Yamato put his hand to his head and sighed.
“WHAT exactly is your concept of an emergency?” He asked, rather disappointed that he rushed all the way over here only for a movie.
“Well...I'm also lost since I rarely come to Osaka, so I was hoping you could help me find the hotel. Io was the one that knew where it was, haha.” He scratched the back of his head as he said so. Obviously that was pretty much a lie, but he thought that there wasn't any harm in doing so. More time to spend with Yamato.
After taking a deep breath, Yamato spoke once again.
“...Hibiki. While I will stay with you right now if only not to waste your money...” He spoke as if money was something important to him when he could reimburse him a thousand tickets just with his pocket change. “...I would like it if you told me about things before asking me to come. I also have my own duties to attend to.” He spoke with his arms crossed and a frown on his face, staring directly at Hibiki. The bunny boy paid no attention to that, though, as he circled around Yamato.
“Sorry, sorry. I'll make sure to do that next time. For now you just relax...” He started massaging Yamato's shoulders, and as the other boy began to give him a confused look, he grabbed his JP's coat and pulled it away swiftly. “And take this off!”
“If you wear this to the cinema, people will look at you weird.” Hibiki affirmed as he quickly folded the coat, with Alcor taking it from his hands to carry it.
“He's right, Yamato. Normal people don't often dress like that.” Alcor was then quick to cover up his partner's tracks, the two of them putting pressure on Yamato. He looked at them with eyes full of contempt as he adjusted his tie.
“...You common people and your ridiculous standards. If you cannot handle a simple coat on one's body, then it's no wonder why so many of you are constantly in trouble.” He complained like an old man as the three of them headed into the cinema.
“It's not like they can't handle it, it's just that they aren't used to seeing it.” Hibiki said as he led them into the line for snacks. “You guys are going to get popcorn too, right?” He looked at the two of them as he took out his wallet.
“I do not particularly need such a thing, but as most of your civilian snacks have a rather surprising taste, I suppose I shall get some.” He scratched his cheek as he tried to justify his need for it. Beside him, he could feel Alcor grinning and possibly wiggling his eyebrows just a bit. He let out a cough. “Either way, I shall pay for the three of us. If you are in such a state that you cannot afford to waste some simple movie tickets, I do not believe you are able to pay for us.” This time, he spoke as if it was simple reasoning, but Hibiki puffed his cheeks at the incredibly high-and-mighty-rich-person attitude from him.
“It's not exactly like that...” He said so, trying to justify himself, but what Yamato had said was partially true. Unlike Daichi, who at least had part-time jobs from time to time to buy things, he basically never had a job and completely depended on allowance from his family.
...Of course, he also didn't want to tell Yamato that the movie tickets were just a pretense, seeing as he never planned to meet up with Daichi and Io here at all. He only decided to buy the tickets after Alcor had texted him.
Once it was finally their turn at the cashier, Hibiki turned to look at Yamato and Alcor for a second. He was about to ask them how much popcorn they wanted, but realizing that if all of them got jumbos he could get the leftovers, the little devil inside of him flared up.
“Three jumbos, please--” “One jumbo and two mediums, actually. And three waters.” He rose his hand and his index finger up, but Alcor was quick to intervene by putting his hand on top of his and speaking over him.
“Alcor?!” Hibiki exclaimed, feeling betrayed by his partner in crime.
“Hibiki, three jumbos is simply too wasteful. Yamato will still have dinner after this, and overeating could cause him trouble.” The traitor reprimanded his partner with an almost motherly tone, but that simply wasn't enough. After all, he still had one trick up his sleeve.
“I do not remember ever telling you to change the order, Alcor.” Yamato crossed his arms and gave his butler the signature Hotsuin high-and-mighty-what-are-you-doing-you-moron look. Part of him was jealous that Alcor had already grown so accustomed to Hibiki, part of him was angry that he was doing that on his own and part of him was simply embarrassed at having him talk about his nutrition out loud like he couldn't take care of himself. All of that was put away, though, once Hibiki hid behind Yamato, supporting him.
...Alcor frowned for a tad and sighed. Although he could handle one of them separately, that duo was simply too much for him.
“I'd like you to change our order, actually. Three jumbos, like what was previously said.” Alcor spoke to the cashier, who was already tired of dealing with the quarreling lovers. Once their order had been neatly laid out in front of them, Yamato left the money on the counter like it was nothing and carried on with popcorn, the other two following right behind him.
“So this is the popcorn that civilians always eat during a movie...is there any reason for such a custom?” Yamato asked as he stared into the bucket of popcorn that he held as if it was a crystal ball, making Hibiki chuckle.
“There's really no special reason for it. I think it began as a tradition in America and then it just caught up.” He nonchalantly spoke as he went to one of the counters that was loaded with different kinds of sauces and seasonings, covering his with as much butter-flavored salt as he could. “You should salt yours too, otherwise it won't taste too well.”
“...Why must we still season these? Did we not pay for it to be cooked?” He spoke in utter confusion and perhaps a little bit of disappointment, as he stared into the bucket for a while more before picking one and delicately placing it inside his mouth. When he finally bit into it, one could see his eyes widen for a bit at the shock of the crunch.
“It is...unappealingly crunchy.” He said, now back to staring at the bucket. “Like you said, there isn't much flavor to be found. I suppose I expected too much of civilians.”
...Despite his words, he was staring at the bucket contemplatively, most likely wondering how it would be if he put a larger amount of popcorn into his mouth. Just one simply did not suit him, and his stomach was gently nudging him to try more of it. While he decided himself, though, Alcor swiftly took the bucket away from him and brought it to the counter, seasoning both his and Yamato's buckets with the same flavor that Hibiki used. Once he was done, he handed Yamato's back to him.
“This is mine and Hibiki's favorite flavor.” He said as Yamato, once again, stared at the bucket. He picked just one popcorn yet again and put it in his mouth, tasting it with his tongue for quite a while. “I put in a moderate amount of it so that you may experiment it, but I personally prefer it with a much larger amount. Is it to your taste?”
...He had asked a meaningless question. Alcor perhaps had never seen it before, but Hibiki recognized the look in Yamato's eyes immediately the moment that he had put it in his mouth.
Instead of answering the question, Yamato simply put more popcorn into his mouth, now a set of two. Again, he spent quite a bit tasting it with his tongue before finally biting. After that, it was a set of four, with considerably less time going into the tasting part. Soon he was grabbing handfuls of it and munching on them.
“See? Isn't three jumbos better?” Hibiki asked Alcor, who simply looked at his boss for a tad bit longer before smiling. “Perhaps...”
“Yamato, come on. The movie's going to start now, so we should get to our room.” Hibiki reminded his friend, snapping him out of his trance. He only muttered a “My predictions have been defied once again...” as he followed after the other two, his stare, of course, directed at the popcorn bucket. But this time, they were not eyes of confusion, but eyes of pure lust and desire.
As the three entered the room, they received 3D glasses from the attendees at the entrance. While Hibiki and Alcor simply took them and continued on, Yamato took a look at his for a moment before shrugging and putting them in his pocket. Hibiki was then quick to direct them to their seats, with him sitting in the middle of Alcor and Yamato.
“Oh, now that I think about it, won't it be hard for you to watch the movie like this?” Hibiki tried to speak to Yamato, who was already stuffing his face with popcorn. He quickly put it away on top of his legs as he stopped eating to properly look at Hibiki.
“How so?” Yamato asked, completely ignorant of the glasses that he had received before.
“Yamato, I do believe that he is speaking about the 3D glasses. You should have received yours...” Alcor showed Yamato's his, pointing at them. He quickly dug into his pockets and brought them out.
“Yes, what about them? We are only supposed to wear them when the movie starts, correct?” He spoke in a rather doubtful tone. He was sure that at least this part he had a certain notion of, at least from the information that he had absorbed listening to Shijima and the others speak.
“Won't your bangs get in the way?” Hibiki asked, curious if Yamato had a countermeasure to it. Instead, he simply scoffed.
“That is no problem for me. It's not as if my vision from this eye is entirely compromised, and even then, having one eye's worth less of vision is no matter for me.” The moment in which he opened his mouth, Hibiki gave a doubtful look to Alcor, who simply continued grinning, but also visibly shrugged. Hibiki made a mental note to ask Alcor who took care of Yamato's haircuts.
“Yamato, these glasses are utilized so that they can make it seem as if the images from the movie are approaching you. To do so, it requires the vision of both eyes, as that is how it works.” Alcor quickly explained to his boss, who then gave the 3D glasses a rather disgusted look. Today, the movie theater's belongings were getting rather special attention from him.
Hibiki desperately wanted to take care of Yamato's hair, but a hairbrush was obviously one of the last things that he carried with him, as his charm was his bedhead. As he was about to ask Alcor if he had one, he looked at him and then immediately gave up on the idea. The poor butler only cocked his head to the side with a smile.
Seeing that this wouldn't work and there was only a while more until the movie started, Hibiki inched himself a tad closer to Yamato and pushed back his bangs using his hands. The other boy didn't particularly try to resist, but he got back just a bit and pretended to glare at Hibiki.
“Enough. I am no child for you to be doing this for me.” He spoke with as serious a tone as he could muster, and Hibiki sat back with a rather defeated look. Yamato then proceeded to try fixing up his hair...and utterly failed. His strength was simply not enough for his bangs, with the process of him pushing them up and them falling back down constantly repeating itself, Alcor and Hibiki already grinning like idiots at his failure.
“Perhaps you should head to the bathroom and wet your hair while there's still time?” Just as Alcor had suggested that, the large screen started brightening, indicating that the movie was about to start. Yamato let out a grunt at his butler's cursed mouth. Thankfully, they were only advertisements, as the movie itself had yet to start.
“There's no need, I can handle this.” He said so, despite his knowledge that he knew absolutely no way to deal with this. After a bit of thought, he reached into one of his pants' pockets and pulled out a pen, quickly wrapping his bangs around it.
...And after that, he just left it there and put the 3D glasses on, continuing to munch on his popcorn. Beside him, Hibiki was having stomach pains as he tried to contain his laughter, while Alcor covered his mouth in as gentlemanly a way as he could muster, thinking of what Miyako would say if she saw him like this. He was truly glad that no one could witness his day as Yamato's personal butler right now. Yamato visibly munched a lot harder and louder on his popcorn as he watched the other two.
“Pffhh...now that it has come to my attention, Hibiki...” Alcor, now having contained his laughter, decided to divert the topic away from Yamato's hair so that he would be a tad more comfortable. This moment was for him to enjoy himself, after all. “Exactly what movie are we watching? I do not believe that you ever told us.”
“Oh, it's a comedy one!” He quickly replied to the other's question. “Do you remember when we watched that one animation about the evil scientist and his adoptive daughters? It happens before that one.” He remarked, griping Yamato's interest, who simply watched from the side.
“Ah, yes, I do remember it. Indeed, it was quite fun.” He spoke with the normal grin on his face, and the memories of when he watched it with Alcor surfaced back into his mind. Hibiki's smile soon turned into a bitter one.
“Even though you say that, I don't think I remember you laughing even once...even Miyako laughed.” With that statement, Yamato's curiosity was most definitely piqued.
“...Alcor, what exactly have you been doing as my sister's butler?” He inquired his servant, who simply grinned as Hibiki covered for him. Having him in the middle of them was truly a tactical advantage.
“I was texting Alcor about it, and when he got distracted Miyako asked him what it was, so I got us all to watch it online one afternoon.” Hibiki expertly explained the situation to his friend, and then immediately changed the topic when his glare intensified. “Yamato, have you ever watched that movie? Despicable You?”
“...I cannot say that I am one to indulge myself in such kinds of entertainment.” He spoke with a rather embarrassed demeanor, trying to cover up his jealousy that Miyako had gotten a chance to do this with them before him. Hibiki paid no attention to that, however, as he already had a solution for it, even if unconsciously.
“Then it's perfect! This one is a prequel, so you can watch the one that comes after it with us later.” He spoke as if it had already been settled, which was an effective tool to shutting Yamato's work-related excuses. The boy simply accepted his fate as the movie began.
–
“...Maybe we should rethink about watching the next one together.” Hibiki muttered as he left the room with Alcor and Yamato beside him. The former had his usual grin, with his eyes closed; Hibiki was convinced that he was actually sleeping throughout the entire movie, even though he commented on it from time to time. Sleeping through it was the only explanation for his complete lack of reaction to the latter's constant questions.
“Hibiki, who was that last figure at the end?” Yamato questioned the other boy, who had already become visibly tired. After all, he had to deal with Yamato's questions throughout the entire movie, and he had barely gotten to focus on it, if at all.
“...It's from the movie that comes after this. That's why you don't recognize him.” Hibiki answered in a completely deadpan voice. Right now, he knew exactly how Fumi felt when she had to explain things to someone. He had never thought that someone could be so incredibly bad at understanding jokes. The moment that Yamato Hotsuin, Chief of JP's, asked him “Exactly why is that creature's buttocks shaking? Or rather, why does it have them? Its shape does not suggest that it has buttocks, so why were they added for this scene?”. Hibiki couldn't even begin to word his answer to that, and the worst part was that when he finally found the words to answer him, he didn't even laugh. He just replied with a quiet “Hm.” and turned back to watch it.
“It's rather inconsiderate of them to not give a satisfying ending to the viewers that paid to watch the movie.” Yamato remarked, and Hibiki thanked the gods. He didn't particularly care what comment Yamato had about the movie, as long as it was negative and not a question. It reduced his chances of having to sit through yet another batch of questions.
“...When will the next movie be shown here? But then again, if you and Alcor have already watched it…” He started making considerations for himself, completely focused on trying to find out when it would show up. Observing him completely distracted as he stared at the other movie titles at the cinema, trying to find the sequel to it was…slightly adorable. Before he knew it, Hibiki had a warm smile on his face, much like Alcor...who also had a snot bubble coming out of his nose. He swiftly popped it, waking the butler up.
“Ah...” Alcor hazily looked around his surroundings before finally focusing on Hibiki. “That was a fun movie, wasn't it, Yamato?” He said, obviously still asleep.
“…I'm sure it was.” Being the only common person in the group, Hibiki fulfilled his job of throwing smug comments. He followed after Yamato.
“The movie that comes after this one is quite a few years old, actually. It doesn't show up in cinemas anymore.” He explained it to his friend, who then took it into consideration with a “Hm.” and then looked down. Surely it was meant to be a sign that he was deep in thought, but Hibiki could tell that it was a bit of sadness.
“Anyway, we can still watch it, you know. I actually have it downloaded on my laptop, so we can just watch it online whenever, even when I'm back in Tokyo.” As soon as he said that, Yamato lifted his head. For a while, he thought that it was incredibly silly how much he overestimated him sometimes, what with how simple he was to read right now.
“Hm...I see. Then so that I can comprehend the full of this story, I will be counting on you, Hibiki.” He spoke in his completely serious and normal tone, as if he was talking to an employer of his. Over a comedy movie that was generally meant for children. In a way, this was truly a priceless moment, even disregarding how he liked to spend time with these two. This was something that he had never expected of Yamato.
After rubbing his eyes to properly wake up, Alcor then looked at the time on his watch. It was already fairly late, and once he looked outside the cinema, he could notice that the stars were already shining at full brightness.
“Hibiki, are you going back to the hotel now? I believe that you will need us to drive you, yes?” Alcor approached his friend, who gave him a small glare, which only caused Alcor to cock his head sideways. He had absolutely no idea that he slept during the movie or that he had called Hibiki “Yamato”.
“Oh no, it's fine--” He almost said instinctively, but once Yamato raised a single eyebrow he remembered that he had told him that he was lost and didn't know where the hotel was. “...Um, yeah, actually! I don't really have any idea of where it is...” He spoke in a rather unconvincing tone, but Yamato decided not to prod at it. Instead, he and Alcor both started leading the way out of the cinema and to where they parked the car.
“Hibiki, did you not already do a few university tests only a few months ago? I thought that there was no need for more.” Yamato started the conversation, genuinely curious on his friend's stay at Osaka. If this was a daily, weekly or monthly happening, he could find himself getting used to it.
“Oh yeah, but those weren't the real deal. They were just makeup tests, so we can get prepared for the actual one.” He said as he threw his arms back and supported his head with them, incredibly laidback about the topic. “I was pretty busy early this year just helping Daichi study for them, so I didn't actually put much thought into where I wanted to go or what I wanted to study...right now I'm pretty busy doing tests for all kinds of universities, so I can choose.” He scratched the back of his head a bit and laughed in a rather carefree way, but his manner of speaking just made Yamato start considering a few things.
He was simply not a good leader. Yamato could see himself as a strong and rather determined person...he was more than willing to make the sacrifices needed for JP's to prosper, but that kind of thinking was knocked away from him a long time ago. If he wasn't the ruthless Yamato Hotsuin that could work with human beings as if they were simply numbers on a sheet...then who was he? What was he worth? He couldn't simply hand over the position to Miyako yet. Even if she had more promise than him, she was still too young. He only wanted her to assume JP's when she herself felt ready.
Without him and Miyako, who was left? Someone that could be of trust, someone that could genuinely lead his people.
…Why not the person that had knocked away his previous thinking from him? He had to take responsibility for that, after all.
“...Hibiki.” As they finally reached the car, Yamato made a full stop, turning to face Hibiki. “Forget about trying to get into an university or such things like that. I've already seen the ability that you have to bring out the full potential of others...a person like you is suited to be in a position of power. One such as...the chair of the one that shall lead JP's.” He spoke with a voice that was a tad too loud for the common person, and his dramatic pose in front of the car simply did not help. Nearby children stopped their walking to stare and point at him, but their parents would drag them away before they could say something.
...Hibiki felt a small drop of sweat trickle its way through his neck as he tried to avoid eye contact with Yamato. Seeing this, Alcor decided to intervene.
“Yamato, it isn't nice or becoming of a leader to force someone into doing what you want.” ...His scolding was rather motherly and half-hearted, but at least his tone and demeanor were in the right place, as Alcor had his eyes actually open and raised his voice a tad, something that was incredibly rare for him. Yamato simply scoffed at that, though.
“It's not as if I am forcing him into doing this. I am waiting for his reply, am I not?” He spoke rather confidently, and Alcor wasted no time in replying back to him.
“Pressuring him is also not nice or becoming of a leader.” The butler spoke with a rather childihs, as if he was just shutting Yamato down.
“...Do you not get it? It is exactly BECAUSE I am not becoming of a leader that I must have Hibiki by my side!” Yamato now raised his voice, visibly annoyed that he was being derailed by Alcor. The butler finally went quiet. Seeing that this wasn't the usual banter, Hibiki decided to take a stand and intervene.
“...Yamato, I think we already talked about this before, and my answer is still the same. I want more time to think, and before joining an organization as big as JP's, I'd like to at least finish my studies.” Hibiki stated as calmly as possible, simply repeating words from a previous conversation. It wasn't unusual for Yamato or sometimes even Otome to offer him a job in JP's at the middle of a conversation (although at least in Otome's case, he knew she was teasing; she had even made a game out of shoving JP's proposals in the middle of questions so that he'd end up saying yes, but she never expected him to actually join).
“If you are worried about your qualifications for the job, then I hold the most powerful position in JP's and I have already approved of your abilities. If you also wish to have some other job during it, then arranging an university diploma for you is not a worry for us.” Yamato spoke with an incredibly determined tone of voice. He wasn't planning on letting Hibiki simply crawl his way out of this one, despite the conflicted look on his face right now.
“…I apologize if I am not respecting your choice, but JP's truly needs a leader like you. If you do not want to directly go into the position of leader, then that is fine. You can watch me or simply attend to me as my right-hand man until you feel that you are up to par.” The tense atmosphere in the air finally getting to him, Yamato looked down as he spoke, realizing the kinds of faces that his friends had on right now. “JP's needs you. And at the very least, what I should do as the unfitting leader of this organization...is find someone more fit to the job than me.”
...His words stung all three of them, as if they had never expected him to actually utter them out. Alcor's face seemed even more conflicted now. Hibiki took a deep breath.
“Yamato, if there is anything about you that I know...it's that we can never underestimate you. You've never failed to lead JP's, even if you made mistakes along the way. ...I never imagined you to say something like this.” At that last sentence, the sadness in Hibiki's face could be seen, but it was then replaced by raw determination and concern for his friend. “Did something happen?”
...There was silence for a while, as Yamato tried to avoid saying anything to Hibiki, even diverting his eyes away. However, once he turned to look at Alcor...he saw that even if he didn't say anything, Alcor would have. He had a bitter smile on his face as he already imagined him gossiping all about today's incident to Hibiki, then turning to him and saying “It's part of my duty to help out his master, Yamato.” with a completely serious face.
...He really couldn't win against those two when they were together.
“It's not as if something necessarily happened...it's nothing that is necessary for you to know, at any case. I simply realized that I'm not fit for the job today. Whatever caused that is none of your concern.” He still tried to avoid it to the best of his ability, and he could feel the pressure coming from Alcor once again. This time, he would truly speak up.
“...Yamato, perhaps I did not take you for the most perfect leader...but I also did not take you for a liar, much less a fool.” ...The butler said rather harsh words directly to his master's face. Ones that none of them had ever expected to hear from him. And despite that, there was still only anguish on his face.
“I...do not plan on standing idly by while you leave JP's because you comitted a single mistake. If you are going to quit JP's, then I shall also quit my servitude to you. Because I see that the loyalty of mine and the other JP's workers are worth absolutely nothing to you.” He walked and stood in front of Yamato, in between him and Hibiki, to the point that Yamato took a step back out of surprise—or perhaps, fear.
...Yes. The Alcor that they knew most likely would not stand and talk to him like this. The Alcor that they knew from an incredibly long time ago…
But he had grown considerably. He had nothing to anguish over anymore...and he did not plan on ever having anything like that ever again. This was his life to take care of, his fate to choose and his friends to help.
“It's nothing like that, you...dreck! I am saying this because all of you deserve someone more fitting--”
“Yamato, tell me. When did we ask for someone else? Was it today? Yesterday? Perhaps tomorrow? ...I do not recall ever seeing anything like that. Please do not put words into our mouth because of your own anguish.” He cut off Yamato and spoke over him, unwilling to let him get away with such excuses. Hibiki simply watched as Alcor took the lead. “...Dealing with your anguish is the job of us, your friends. So won't you at least speak to us before trying to do anything rash?” His tone of voice had become a lot kinder by now. His previous words had taken Yamato by surprise, making him widen his eyes, but the sudden change did so even more. After a moment of silence, a small grin appeared on his face as he started laughing.
“...Hahahaha! You do have quite the mouth, Alcor. I suppose you've picked up a thing or two by staying with Miyako.” He said, his mood now apparently a lot happier, although the atmosphere was still tense. The other two boys couldn't tell what was going on in his head at this point. “...I suppose you are right, though. It is a rather bad habit of mine...to hide things away and then say something about it in the last moment.” He spoke with a normal tone of voice, simply acknowledging his faults. But then he suddenly became much meeker, making eye contact directly with Alcor.
“...Losing your servitude is something that I simply cannot afford, not only for JP's, but also myself. I...apologize for what I said before. It was inconsiderate of me.” ...Anyone there could notice that he had completely swallowed his pride in order to be able to say that. Hibiki was silently cheering for him as Alcor took a moment to take a good look at his master's face before saying anything.
“Hmhm...I do have to say that I never imagined a day would come when you would apologize to me, Yamato.” The butler said, relishing in his accomplishment for just a while. Yamato truly did want to interfere and say something mean to put him back in line, but considering what had just happened, he quieted himself. Alcor could have much worse in store for him.
“You are obviously forgiven. I, too, would not want to stop serving you or Miyako. You are both precious to me.” He said with his signature grin now back on his face, and Yamato wondered exactly how he managed to say that kind of thing so calmly. He decided that he'd have to stay with Alcor a tad longer to find out.
“And as for you...” Yamato turned to face Hibiki, who was pretending to hold a small napkin to his eye, as if drying a tear. Once he saw it, a small smile and the beginning of a giggle was found on his face, but he quickly turned to look away from Hibiki. He only looked back once he had composed himself and the other boy had stopped his impersonation of someone touched by the sentimental scene.
“...I am sorry that you had to witness that, but as I have told you from time to time, my offer for you to work in JP's is still on the table.” He said, his tone now as serious as ever. “Although if you would like to usurp me from my throne, you shall have to fight rather viciously for it.” He asserted with a confident smile, causing Alcor to do the same.
“Hmhm...of course, as I serve him, I am afraid that the same applies for me, Hibiki. I do believe that you have the potential for it, but I shall not let you get his position so easily.” Alcor's grin, too, turned rather bloodthirsty. Hibiki started feeling the cold sweat trickle down his neck as he wondered exactly how he had turned into the common target of the newly reformed duo.
“...I'm not interested in being the JP's president, I swear!” He quickly exclaimed as he put his hands up, trying to calm down his two rather intense rivals. They only chuckled, though.
““That was a joke.”” The two said in unison, and Hibiki made a mental note to himself to continue being the energetic one of the trio, so that these two would at least learn what exactly the concept of a joke was. He'd need a lot more comedy movies for next time…
“Either way, I do believe that we should speak while on the way, otherwise it will turn late soon.” Yamato said as Alcor immediately unlocked the car and held the backseat's door open for both Yamato and Hibiki as they entered.
“Yes, after all, once we arrive home I still have to prepare dinner for both Yamato and Miyako. Unless we hurry, it shall be late by a few minutes.” Alcor said as he entered the car and adjusted himself properly on the driver's seat, checking that all the mirrors were in condition. Yamato visibly staggered at the comment. “Do you know the name of the hotel, Hibiki?” He looked at Hibiki from the front mirror, watching his reaction.
“It was called--” He almost responded immediately, but once he remembered that he was supposed to be a lost teenager in Osaka, he quickly changed his demeanor. “I...think it was called...Granvia Hotel? Something like that, anyways...”
...Thankfully, Yamato didn't seem to notice. Either way, it wasn't as if it mattered, as he obviously was only paying attention to what Hibiki was saying so that he could speak next.
“I believe that I know where that is. I shall take us there right away.” He then turned on the car and immediately started getting out of his parking spot.
“Alcor...what is this that you say about preparing dinner at my house? I do not remember ever inviting you to it.” He spoke with a clear tone of disgust, and Hibiki decided to sit a bit farther away from him. Alcor didn't have a single reaction to the aura Yamato was releasing right now.
“Makoto shall still be away for quite a while, even the more so now that she will have to deal with the shipment of the new machines.” He spoke as matter-of-factly as possible, keeping his focus on the traffic. Now that it was getting to the evening where a large number of people were getting off their jobs and heading home for dinner, it was much busier. “Which means that I will be your secretary for a while longer. I believe that it'd be more convenient and efficient if I were at your house.” ...And then there was a slight change in his tone. It was just a tad more peppy than the usual, as if he was teasing Yamato.
“...While that is true to a degree, we can take care of ourselves, not to mention that there are no spare clothes for you to use. There is still some frozen food prepared by some of the chefs for tonight's dinner, so there is absolutely no need for you to come over.” Yamato spoke, trying to shoot down his butler's arguments as efficiently as possible. He was clearly failing to, however.
“If you are still eating frozen food, then it is absolutely necessary that I come to your house tonight. How long has it been since you have eaten freshly prepared food?” Alcor asked, and then just a moment after, he chuckled. “Oh, of course, on today's lunch and breakfast. Even so.”
“Food is simply a calorie resource. It matters not to me if it is frozen or fresh.” Yamato said with his arms crossed, not giving in. But Alcor was also not intending to, and from the look on his face, he already knew exactly what to say to defeat Yamato in one clean sentence.
“If that is the case, then I suppose I shall research for an ideal diet for you...since takoyaki isn't quite an ideal source of it, perhaps I should throw the ingredients I bought for it away?” He started ponding to himself as he drove, Yamato clearly on the edge of his seat. “Hibiki, would you perhaps want me to make it for you? We should take the opportunity while you are in Osaka. I do not believe you have ever tasted the ones I make.” ...Now he had not only cornered Yamato, but also put Hibiki in quite a tight spot. Hibiki looked at Yamato with a small sense of pity for him, but the thought of being fed by Alcor was much stronger than his pity. By an incredibly overwhelming margin.
“I'll still be here for a while since the test takes place during this entire week, so I wouldn't mind having some.” He spoke with an incredibly polite tone of voice. He felt as if he had gone back in time to when he visited Daichi's house and his mom constantly pestered him with food while leaving her own son to starve.
“...Ngh! Do as you will, just focus on driving!” He yelled at Alcor, who smiled, and then turned to Hibiki. “...As I was planning on saying before he made an unnecessary comment, the reason that I have been feeling...less than confident with my job today is because of a certain happening regarding my employees.” Yamato started finally getting serious, now that Alcor had quieted himself, merrily following his orders as he thought about what he should make for dinner tonight.
“What's the matter? From what you guys were talking about, it doesn't seem like they were complaining about you...” Hibiki spoke with a puzzled look on his face as he tried to guess what had happened in his head. Although Yamato was definitely a harsh person to his workers, that also hardened a majority of them. The ones that had stayed with him were not only good at and dedicated to their jobs, but also rather loyal.
“We...started getting a rather large influx of wounded employees into the medical sector. When I looked into that, I found that a large number of them were hurting themselves because of the faulty machines in the research sector...although they knew that the machines were in a bad state, they continued their experiments as if there was nothing wrong with it. Why do you think that is?” Yamato asked the question to Hibiki, who simply looked at him for a moment and then put a finger to his mouth as he started to think. He let out a few “hmms” and truly did seem to be thinking hard enough to get it right in his first answer, causing Yamato to chuckle a bit.
“...This is just a wild guess, but could it be because they fear you, or something of the like?” Hibiki speculated with a rather unsatisfied face. He didn't exactly feel comfortable talking about Yamato as a leader to his face like that, but it wasn't exactly hard to imagine his subordinates being scared of him. Especially if they heard the conversations that he sometimes had with Hibiki about them.
“That...is not very far off, actually.” Yamato's eyes drifted at Hibiki's word choice, realizing that yes, it did basically boil down to them being afraid of him. “JP's has a rather strict doctrine, and it is constantly in movement. Almost every day we get new employees from various areas of knowledge, all of them gifted at what they do. Obviously, as we cannot house all of them...we also directly fire many people, often times at the first mistake that they make.”
...Had Yamato been exaggerating those details to make himself seem worse than what he actually was?
...No. Alcor knew, of course. He would have corrected Yamato right at the moment if he had said something wrong. JP's truly did fire people at the first mistake that they made, which was the source of much stress in the organization.
“So that's what you were feeling down about...” Hibiki took in all that he had said and imagined how the situation must have been in his head. It wasn't exactly pretty. “Did you manage to do something about it?” He asked Yamato, who proudly scoffed. Although it didn't have the same strength as it did when he was actually prideful and arrogant.
“Of course I did...in a certain way. Since Sako is away conducting inspections at the other JP's branches, I shall ask her to bring over some new machines along with her. While they obviously won't be many as it is in extremely short notice, they'll most likely be enough to quench some of their thirst for work.” He spoke in a rather depressive tone, while Hibiki only nodded. As he was about to say something, though, Yamato continued speaking.
“I've also shut down the sector in which those incidents were occurring in for the moment, asking them to work on compiling data to be transferred to the new machines if they truly need something to do. All the spare ones were assigned to work with Kanno if they felt the need, and I've scheduled the next health exams to see what this mentality of theirs is doing to their body.” He started listing off his plans off the top of his head, and Hibiki's eyes practically widened at how much Yamato had thought it through. He wasn't finished, however. “And of course, I'm currently rewriting JP's policies, as they haven't been changed in quite a while. I'm taking a look at my predecessor's notes so that I can get a good idea of what needs to be changed, but I can only wonder how much time it'll take me. I was planning on a week at most, but...” Yamato spoke as if that was something bad. He seriously did.
Meanwhile, Hibiki remembered one-page essays from his high school that he had an entire month to do. He almost yelled at Yamato to calm down, but he held that urge inside himself.
“Um, Yamato? Why...exactly were you feeling bad about all this?” He made direct eye contact with the young chief, trying to get his point across. They didn't share the same type of common sense, so he would need to slowly ease his friend into this. “Even though you might've made a mistake, you've already worked on stopping it from causing any more damage and you already have plans on how to fix it and permanently end it. Don't you think you've done enough already?”
...Yamato looked at him as if he was speaking gibberish. Hibiki's words were having a certain amount of trouble entering Yamato's brain.
“...Pardon?” He instinctively said to the other boy. “...To begin with, I committed a mistake. That's already something to think about on its own, but it's a mistake that has been happening for quite a while now, seeing as how my employees have been work-obsessed for quite some time now. The effects have only shown themselves now. Not only that, while I stopped them from causing further damage to themselves, I still don't have immediate solutions for this, and even if I did, it'd take them some time to get used to the new company background. My mistake has caused an incredible amount of damage that shall take quite some time to truly be solved.” He now spoke with an incredibly harsh tone, finally letting his feelings out. The way he spoke, one would believe that a copy of him was standing in front of him right now, getting scolded for even existing.
“...And isn't that fine?” Hibiki said with a rather casual tone as he got himself comfortable in his seat, all the while staring directly at Yamato with a small smile on his face. “I think just about every mistake has some kind of lasting consequence, usually. It's not as if they're too heavy, and you're the one dealing with it, so there's no real reason to blame yourself for it, right?” He explained his thin thread of logic as simply as he could to Yamato, who only stared at him and his smile for a bit before calming down and smiling a bit himself.
“…Heh, you all truly do live a wonderfully carefree life.” He commented as he turned to look outside the window, not wanting to keep eye contact with Hibiki at the moment. Although he now felt calm, there was a certain mix of embarrassment and self-hatred overwhelming him. “...I believe that it was that kind of thinking that caused humanity to decay so much, and yet I envy it so.” His voice right now was the true definition of bittersweet; to the point that it caused Hibiki to almost feel a small tug at his heart. Even Alcor, who had fully comitted himself to driving by now, almost felt the temptation to ignore the traffic and take a look at exactly how Yamato looked right now.
“If you can't be carefree by yourself, then I think dragging you to be carefree along with me doesn't sound too bad.” He touched Yamato's shoulder, causing him to almost jump at that. “You always talk about how I constantly surprise you, so I think it's possible. For you to ease up, I mean.” ...Although he talked like that, Hibiki couldn't possibly imagine Yamato not being strict in just about everything. Even so, the thought of it intrigued him; and from the looks of it, Yamato too, although perhaps it was due to something else.
“Hahaha...my words prove themselves to be true even now. I did not take you to be so bold at first, but it seems I've been pleasantly surprised.” His look fluttered to Hibiki for just a little bit, before he realized that he couldn't possibly speak like that while facing him, at least not right now, while they were so close. “You've never disappointed me. So I suppose in regards to this kind of thing, I shall rely on you...for...a while.”
...He almost caught himself finishing his sentence with “forever”. That had been incredibly dangerous for his heart, which was now beating as if someone was drumming on Yamato's chest. As he stole yet another glance at Hibiki, he also seemed rather happy right now, although he wasn't flustered like he was.
...He truly envied that man's total and complete calm towards just about everything.
“Anyway, Yamato...I think that you're a really great leader. If I replaced you, I'm not sure if I could ever lead JP's the way that you do.” Hibiki had now completely derailed into another topic, going away from Yamato's own personal problems. “Even if you're strict, you're also super smart and dedicated. I don't think I've ever seen you slack at the job, and you always consider the problems of just about everything that happens there. You even found out about today's problem because you looked into it yourself, right?” He spoke in a completely optimistic way, now overwhelming Yamato with his peppiness instead of the opposite.
“...I do believe that knowing how your own organization is doing is the bare minimum for someone in a position of power like me.” He said, trying to stay his ground of negativity near Hibiki. He actually believed in those words, so it wasn't as if he was simply embarrassed.
“But you do the bare minimum and then a lot more. There are a lot of people that can't say that for themselves, especially not with the confidence that you usually do.” Hibiki's casual tone was a formidable weapon in itself, as he always spoke as if it was common logic, causing Yamato to question his own beliefs instead of fighting back.
“I…” He looked around without really knowing what to say as many thoughts ran through his head. “I...suppose so, but only being good in comparison to others isn't something that I should pride myself over. I'd much prefer to excel due to my own qualities.” He spoke with uncertainty in his voice, but these were almost his true feelings. Hibiki was getting there, little by little.
“But you do.” He then said, speaking as if he had given Yamato all of his hesitation, as he didn't stutter or reconsider even for a bit before saying this. He immediately replied to him, his eyes filled with determination. “If you remove everyone else and leave only you...even then, I still think that not only me but everyone else would think you're a good leader. An incredible one, even.”
...And like that, he had finally cornered Yamato. But even then, he wasn't exactly giving in, even if the arguments against him were rather strong.
“I must admit that I also agree to that.” A “mysterious helper” then appeared to help Sailor Hibiki in his crisis! Or rather, however mysterious one could be in a car with three people. Alcor, who had been quiet thus far, finally weighed in his own opinion. “Yamato, Hibiki's words have more than enough value, so it would do you good to consider them.” He finally turned to Yamato, completely ignoring his job of driving. The two passengers got incredibly worried for a moment.
“That aside, Alcor...” Yamato noted, approaching him like that. “Pay attention to the wheel!” He said with an incredibly frustrated voice, and the butler only looked at him as if he was speaking a completely unintelligible language. After Yamato said that, Hibiki then took a look outside the window and facepalmed himself for the unnecessary worry.
“...Yamato, I did not notify you because you were having a conversation, but we've actually arrived at our destination a little bit ago. I've already parked.” He still spoke with a bit of a confused frown on his face, and when Yamato actually looked outside the window to realize that they had stopped, Hibiki tried to contain his laughter. Yamato hadn't noticed that he had thought the same thing as him, so that gave him rights to have some fun with him about that.
“...Ahem.” Yamato coughed a bit as he tried to recover himself from the embarrassment of it all, Alcor's face changing from a frown to a sly smile as he realized the small embarrassment that his boss had just gone through. Said boss then turned to Hibiki once again, ignoring Alcor...but then he had to spend a few more seconds waiting for Hibiki to recompose himself from laughter, glaring at him all the meanwhile. Once Hibiki had finally stopped laughing and was just wiping away his tears, he decided to start talking.
“Although I suppose what you said just now was only your opinion, I find it…reassuring that you think of me in that way. Thank you.” He would normally be embarrassed, but with his target being so focused on still recovering from laughing at him, he put away all his shame and turned it into stoic anger. His face right now was like that of a moai's.
“Pff...that's what friends are for, Yamato. And I mean, like you said, it's just what I think of you.” Hibiki said as he started opening the door to the car, turning to the other two as he started exiting. “And I'm sure a lot of other people agree with me. I'll see you guys some other time!” He said as he jumped out of the car, closed the door and waved as he walked his way to the hotel entrance. Making sure that he would be safe, the two in the car watched Hibiki until he was actually in the hotel and even then waited a few more minutes, just to make sure. Once that time had passed, Alcor finally turned the car on.
“Wasn't it comforting to have a...” Alcor stopped mid-sentence and put a finger to his lips as he tried to recall exactly the term that he wanted. Once he finally found it, he let out a small “Ah.” and started to drive. “Heart to heart with Hibiki?” He asked the boy who sat in the back of the car, this time looking out the window very dilligently. After a moment of silence, Alcor finally noticed this thanks to the front mirror and addressed him.
“...Yamato, are you worried about not noticing that I have stopped the car again? I shall tell you when we get home, do not fret.” He teased the other boy, but to no avail. He had actually started to become worried about it, until he finally stopped on a red light and hurriedly looked towards the back of the car.
...Yamato was sleeping rather peacefully, his body positioned as if he was looking outside the window. Surely, as soon as Hibiki had left, the boy had passed out, his reasons for maintaining himself awake now completely gone. He had been a tad too quiet while they watched him enter the hotel, after all.
“Hmhm, it would be a delight if the other members of JP's could see this...” Alcor thought to himself as he watched the rather adorable sight of his boss sleeping. Now that he was actually paying attention, he could hear a small, soft “Whh...” sound go everytime he breathed out. He didn't look like the same person that was feared for mass-firing a large amount of employees every week at all.
“Perhaps I should...take a picture of this...” Alcor wondered to himself as he started digging through his pocket, trying to get to his phone. “But then again, perhaps doing this would be a tad immoral, or disrespectful...”
He wasn't given the time to think about that, however, as one of the cars behind him honked their horn. Yamato then immediately got up and yelled “Pay attention to the wheel!” at Alcor, who hurriedly got back to his driving duty. Somehow, Yamato had spoken like that in his sleep…
…
Alcor made a mental note to himself that he would have to try to fix not only Yamato's diet, but also his sleeping schedule and habits. His boss was simply too strange at this point.
A/N: I almost wrote 2k fucking words on this can you believe? 1989 words? I am eleven words away from having written 2k words for hit yaoi Okane Ga Nai. I want to die
“Semeku-san! Semeku-san!” Ukeiya cried out as he searched for his not boyfriend in the huge apartment that they lived in. What with his insect-like body, Ukeiya looked just like an ant trying to find its way inside a normal house. If Semeku were here to see this sight, he would have found it absolutely beautiful.
After spending approximately fifteen minutes yelling out Semeku’s name as he walked around, he finally managed to find his room. He struggled with turning the door’s knob what with his delicate fingers, but after a brave effort, success was achieved with next to no losses (He wasn’t sure if he had lost feeling on one of his fingers or if it just had fallen off, but that wasn’t important right now).
“He’s not here…” The arthropod-like boy finally succumbed to the floor in his tiredness, laying himself down sexily like a spider ready to shake its butt. He tried to catch his breath, his efforts at that making his face redden—in few minutes, he was red all over.
He the nonchalantly got up as if nothing had happened and took a look around the room. He was sure that if he had started pretending to have a sexual fever Semeku would definitely appear to either take advantage of him or take care of him…and then take advantage of him. Semeku was definitely not known for his self-control, so if he hadn’t run over to Ukeiya’s mating call yet then that meant he truly wasn’t home.
“That’s too bad…I even had a letter to give to him too. He must be at work—wait, does he even work?” Ukeiya thought to himself. For good or for bad, his relationship with his abusive boyfriend was not one of the deepest. But (unfortunately) he decided that he could start rectifying that right now.
He took his cellphone out and immediately began dialing a number that he had memorized. It was that of the lady that owned the bar, the same one that wanted to kidnap him. That part excluded, they were incredibly good friends. Even though they had nothing in common, Semeku’s shittiness was the gift that kept on giving, and so it was possible to talk about it everyday. (Because Ukeiya was a pure angel, however, he only reported to her what happened and then watched as the lady went off in a 20-paragraph tangent. It was still very entertaining.)
“Yes, hello, bar lady-san?” He asked as soon as his call was received. Ukeiya was an incredibly polite boy.
“You still don’t know my name, Ukeiya-chan?” She spoke in a fake disappointed tone, making Ukeiya feel guilty. Which is dangerous, because he is a delicate flower. “Just kidding. What is it? You usually only text.” Her tone now changed to a normal one, with a slight hint of concern.
“Well, I only text because Semeku-san doesn’t want me talking to anyone else…” He sighed. “One time I was talking to myself while watering the flowers here and he punched—no, with his hands, I’d say he completely crushed the flower with his fist. When I told him I was just talking to myself, he told me I belonged to him, and when I said me and Ukeiya weren’t two different people he got confused and I took the chance to run away.” He looked at his nails while he talked on the phone. By now he had already completely forgotten about delivering the letter to Semeku or finding him. The power of shit talking was simply too strong.
“Oh, that’s just typical semes. Back in my day, when a seme got possessive with us, we’d ask him where was the deed saying that he owned us. Then we ran away while he was confused.” On her side, the bar lady examined the glass that she had just polished, and gave off a small little sigh as she reminisced the good old times. “Anyway, if Semeku hasn’t started pounding your cute little butt for talking to me yet, did you finally shank him?”
“I could never! You know that killing somebody is just too cruel—“ As he was about to go on, the bar lady started going “shhh” at him until he eventually quieted down.
“If you’re calling me, it’s for something important, right? So don’t waste too much time, I even held back on shit talking Semeku.” She spoke in an incredibly business-like tone. This was the strength of someone who had dealt with way too many shitty semes before.
“Well, it’s just that there’s a very important letter for Semeku-san, and I thought that I should go deliver it to him. But I don’t know where he is, and he told me that he doesn’t want me to call unless it’s an emergency…” Ukeiya’s sadness could be felt even through the phone. It was an incredibly dumb sadness because he was feeling it over Semeku of all people, but even so, the bar lady felt for him.
“Oh, honey, I don’t really know where Semeku is…you know how these types of guys are, they try to keep up the aura of mystery when they’re really probably in a random Denny’s in the end of town. I can get someone to give you a ride to him, though, so just wait outside your apartment like a good little boy, alright?” The bar lady said. She was truly the only good character in this hellhole.
“Thank you, bar lady-san!” Ukeiya exclaimed like an ant that had just been given some sugar by a nice old lady. He immediately rushed to get ready for his big day out, trying out all kinds of clothes sensually.
“This is just…a tad too tight…” He managed to exclaim that out in between his moans. Once he remembered there was absolutely nobody else in the room, he finally put on clothes in a non-sexy way and left the apartment after finding his way to the exit through complete luck. He left the door open in case someone wanted to come in and steal all of Semeku’s things or burn it all down. It wouldn’t be his fault, so he was fine with that.
He waited outside for a few minutes until a limousine appeared, and from it came the ten-year old whose name he also could not remember. Memory wasn’t the insect’s strongest forte.
“Hey there, Ukeiya. I heard from the bar lady—you looking for Semeku?” The incredibly goth ten-year old boy casually approached him, wrapping an arm around Ukeiya. This would not bother Ukeiya so much if their clothes weren’t touching; bad fashion sense was contagious, and his cute clothes were one of the few things he had going for him.
“Yes…I have something to deliver to him, so…” He awkwardly tried to get himself away from the ten-year old, and while it didn’t work spectacularly well, he at least managed to get some distance in between them. His clothes were saved.
“Well, come on in. I’ll take you right to him.” He spoke with incredible cheer for someone who had just been rejected. Unfortunately, Ukeiya knew that rejecting semes only made them want you more. He reached for the pepper spray in his purse(which somehow magically appeared somewhere along the way) just in case.
After a few minutes of silence in the drive, the ten-year old finally decided to bring up a topic.
“Ukeiya…you must know how much I want you, and how well I treat you—“ He started speaking, but was quickly interrupted by the one he was talking to.
“Sorry, but I’ve actually already met my love triangle quota this week when this one guy assaulted me at a party…you got anything else?” The ten-year old looked quite dejected, but he understood. Okane Ga Nai’s flavor was that it was terrible in a variety of ways, so repeating things so soon after one another would ruin its reputation.
“Well…okay then. Sooo…wanna hear about my tragic backstory? Like, about how much I hate Semeku even though I kinda like him a bit?” He was beginning to lose his charm as a seme, which was a good thing.
“Actually, you’ve already told me that one. Thanks though.” Ukeiya responded and then quickly turned to look at the car’s window, obviously already done with the conversation. His patience was as little as his body.
“I mean…I could tell you about my SECOND tragic backstory!” The ten-year old practically yelled that out, filled with excitement.
“I’m trying to full combo a song right now, so if you could please stay quiet…” Ukeiya spoke without even looking at his face, completely focused on his phone. The ten-year old cursed those damned school idols as he watched Ukeiya completely rip it on the game, using his incredibly nimble insect body.
“HEY are you playing Lave Lev?!” The driver suddenly popped up, looking behind him and showing his phone to Ukeiya. “Nico-tan is my wa—“ Before he could finish that sentence, though, the limousine hit another car. Or whatever was in the way. Perhaps multiple things. The point, however, is that it caused a lot of damage and explosions, which made Ukeiya cower in fear and scream as he struggled to protect his phone containing his various UR Nozomis.
When the generic explosion sound effect stopped ringing through his ears, however, he stopped screaming and finally looked up to see that darkness was covering everything around him. Once he felt that darkness move, however, he realized that it was Semeku—who had protected him with his incredibly huge body.
“Ukeiya…are you alright?” He lifted Ukeiya’s chin with only the very tip of his index finger, and even then the poor boy’s head almost went flying upwards. For a single minute, this terrible abomination against God that was actually God-sized managed to perhaps even look dashing. Somehow.
“Semeku-san…I’m fine, but what about the others? What happened to them?” He asked as he looked around concernedly. There was no sight of the ten-year old or his driver anywhere else. He feared for the worst.
“Dunno, probably dead. Don’t care about them, they were competition.” Semeku shrugged his incredibly large shoulders, accidentally knocking a plane away once he did that. It was incredibly inconvenient to be so tall. “Ukeiya, you belong to me, and to me only. Be it a ten-year old or death himself, they will not take you. You are mine for eternity.” He spoke, in what to him was an incredibly romantic line. Ukeiya prayed for another limousine to come crashing down.
“Still…Semeku-san, the last thing we can do for them is honor their deaths. To the last moment they fought for me, and so, I must fulfill my duty.” Ukeiya spoke, completely unaware that he was in a yaoi and not in a RPG. “Take this letter, Semeku-san. It is for you.” His and Semeku’s eyes met each other, both of them filled with unwavering determination, and possibly some love that was stuck there with hot glue and just didn’t come off no matter how it was washed.
Semeku wasted no time in opening the letter and reading what was written on it. However, when he did, his eyes widened in horror…and even then they weren’t even a hundredth of the size of Ukeiya’s. He dropped the letter to the ground in shock.
“Semeku-san…?” The ant became confused. There was absolutely nothing in this hellhole that had ever shocked Semeku. He picked the letter and read what was written on it.
“Yaoi is fucking illegal now lol bye you weaboo fucks
P.S Vote Hillary 2016!”
At that moment, Ukeiya quickly looked at the cover of the letter.
………From: Barack Obama.
Before Ukeiya could even shank Semeku as a goodbye gift, everything around him turned black. Okane ga Nai had been finally erased, and everything was at peace once again. God bless America. I was so tired of writing this
If you weave a little bit of magic, prayers become unnecessary.
If you weave slightly more magic, help becomes unnecessary.
If you weave even more magic, then the world isn’t the same.
If you continue weaving magic, then perhaps now the world is yours.
Once you stop weaving magic, you then realize the world never changed to begin with.
You wouldn’t sew an incomplete dress.
Once you start weaving your magic, there is still a lot to do, a lot to be found and explained in order to build your world. You don’t just want a bunch of shoddy cloth covering your most precious body; you want a dress that is sparkling like the sun, covered with an inordinate amount of precious gems that protect you like armor.
Every day, God becomes the next Queen in the ball, and that has pisses an incredibly large amount of people off. So everyone builds their own dresses, they use their magic to create a world that is infinitely better than His.
…Of course, when it comes down to it, only a bunch of shitty creations are shown on the ball itself. If you created a world so wonderful that even God would have to praise you, then you wouldn’t even be in this kind of life anymore.
As long as they weave magic, they can be stronger than God himself. These people and their outfits…their beautiful dress that, as they walk and part of it touches the floor, it gives life to the ground. Depending on the kind of person, plants grow from it, or perhaps undead zombies rise from it. After all, it’s the signature of their precious worlds. They can give all kinds of unique life, all kinds of unique things…except for one.
The one general rule for all the humans who had transcended their own barriers and had become Gods was this:
“We will not give birth to humans.”
It was a simple, easily abided-to rule. After all, if they had the will to become a God themselves, then chances are they already either despised or had forgotten about humans. Either way, if you just liked the humanoid anatomy, you could always create beings LIKE them—just never create a human itself. It functioned almost like a copyright law, where it was fine as long as they were slightly recolored or modified.
Everyone respected that rule. After all, the Gods were all comrades who had come from the same place. They all understood the motivation for that rule, even if perhaps they didn’t agree with it at times—some maintained that rule out of love for their companions, some because they hated humans, some because there was no reason to even think about humans. By now, there were so many reasons FOR respecting that rule and none AGAINST it, that it had become a given that any God would respect it.
But every story needs a source of conflict, as I’m sure the Gods viewing this and the Gods that are being described in here know. Every single one.
And that source of conflict was a God who had quickly gotten themselves into the community.
A good way to tell the theme and the intricacies of a God’s world was when they walked wearing it as their own dress, and then watch behind them to see what would come from the ground. Wherever the Gods reunited, they always made sure to destroy anything surrounding the area so that they could paint the life there to be however they wanted. In this case, they completely wiped out what was on the canvas and painted whatever they wanted.
So.
When the new God had finally come to their usual reunion, where they would all praise each other and their worlds and how good they were at magic, they were very surprised when they saw them walking.
Their dress…there was nothing wrong with it. In comparison to the others, it wasn’t particularly eccentric—there weren’t any dead things hanging from it, it wasn’t made of prism stones, it didn’t really have any particular theme. It only had one precious gem, a small brooch on the chest part of the dress. Other than that, it was an incredibly pretty and long dress, something that the Gods hadn’t seen in years. It was fairly nostalgic, in a way. They welcomed it.
However…when the dress touched the lifeless ground. Yes, at that moment was when they became surprised.
If they wiped the canvas and painted whatever they wanted with it, then the newcomer would have wiped the canvas and recreated the previous painting with stronger colors.
With completely perfect accuracy, whatever the dress touched was resurrected with sparkles and other things surrounding it. It would be vibrant and full of life, so much so that it would cause jealousy to anyone else.
…But no matter how it was resurrected, there weren’t any changes.
A plant was still a plant. A seed was still a seed. An ant was still an ant.
Paint them however many times you want. For an ant to continue being an ant while doing things they normally would not be able to, that would be impossible.
The Gods looked at this with disdain, and wondered how this newcomer’s world could ever prosper. But they decided to leave judgment for later—after all, they were a loving community, even if they were bound by their illusions and their hate of God.
After a few more steps, the newcomer had finally gotten to their seat. They talked about how glad they were to be there, and how they were excited to meet people like them. They planned out future events and parties solely for the cake, and when one of the Gods intervened and said “My world doesn’t have any societal rules. We can have a cake without the party.” They smiled a bit.
Perhaps you who are reading this saw this and thought that this God was childish. Haha. Some of the Gods in this reunion also did that, and they quickly reprimanded themselves. After all, they were judging through the values of their old world, where this was considered childish behavior. But once they were past that, something else became the root of their concerns.
They noticed that their dress had only resurrected things. They noticed that they still thought that, to eat cake, one must have a party. So, with these two things, it was possible to deduce that they were most likely still…
Human.
At the very least, they still had such disgusting parts in them.
But to begin with, they all were. For all that they cared, they could slowly dissect this newcomer’s world and take out the human parts from it one by one, making them pure and releasing them from the original God’s grip. Yes, they would help this one, no matter what.
So. They asked the newcomer to show them their world.
And they put their world on the table, for all to see.
With one, two, three steps inside their world, you would find fluffy animals walking around. Some uncommon ones, perhaps, but most of them already existent in either the original God’s world or in fiction. That didn’t matter. The original God’s world had its own advantages—that they could admit.
With the fourth, fifth, and sixth steps inside their world, you would find that the sky is still blue, and the sun still shines. The plants and flowers were all still as boring as always, and they all followed some same pattern. It was incredibly likely that it was like a garden…a garden based on that disgusting “real life”, most likely. They became concerned.
And on the seventh, eigth, ninth steps, they realized that they were counting using some of the most hated logic from the original world they had come from. So many of them disliked math. But even so. They noticed nothing unique about this world this time—only that it brought back their own bad, old habits. The ones that they had discarded to become God.
On the tenth step.
They did not take an eleventh or a twelfth step, because that was all they could muster. One more step.
“Your grades could’ve been better…but you’re improving.” “Sorry, this time I can’t, honey. But next time for sure!” “You’re still having trouble with that part? Sigh…well, I’ll help you this once. You owe me, okay?” “You’re an idiot most of the time, but you’re my idiot.”
It was an incredibly balanced world, slightly inching towards a positive side.
Or well, that is the description the Gods would have given if they were calm. To them, this was just “bullshit sugarcoating”, “pointless lies”.
It was a world that had taken much love and care to create an experience as authentic as possible…even if it was created by someone that didn’t really have experience and even believed that they couldn’t do it well, even if they just added another positive comment to the end of a negative one, it had found its harmony.
Then, some of the Gods would start tearing this world apart. Some would just sit there and do nothing. Some would just start screaming.
But of course, even if this world was being torn apart piece by piece, the newcomer would then put the pieces back and yell.
“No! It really, really happened! It will happen!”
It made them sound even more childish. Haha, yes, how childish. Childish…
But the pieces fit themselves back in with no real problem. So no matter how much they destroyed this world, it eventually found its place back.
Time went on in this chaos, and eventually each of the Gods started disappearing from the reunion, until there was none left at the newcomer’s world.
One God had gone back to their world and received a beating.
Another God had done nothing all night in theirs.
When the other had arrived, there was no one waiting for them;
And for the last one, they abandoned their world and went back to an almost rotting one.
None of their worlds had changed.
But perhaps the old one—no, let’s call it the real one—had?
No happy ending was built that night, but
A single hopeful God had put in a brick,
And reminded them that even weak hands could build something with magic.
They are the ones blessed with the ability to see what is on the ground. They are allowed to witness such things as grass, rivers, animals…all kinds of lives that inhabit the world.
And yet they look up. Beyond the clouds, above the sky itself, they wonder what inhabits there. Not birds or anything of the like; all of them together could never fly so high up. One would say that these beings are practically away from the earth itself.
These beings are called Adults.
One would say that they are reincarnated beings, ones that finally achieved the peak of their purity and ability, being blessed with the wings necessary to fly above the sky and the constitution to withstand even the Earth’s gravity, that tried to call them back. They have the power to go infinitely upwards with glee, without a shed of worry in their system.
And yet they look down. Underneath a barrier of “white fog”, as the Adults say, there are imperfect beings that have no wings. The Adults observe them from afar, make fun of them, throw things at them, and yell hurtful things with a voice so passionately strong that it echoed across the Earth for days, repeating itself, bringing its inhabitants to insanity.
Of course, these inhabitants, pitiful and weak, were the Children. The Adults focused on bullying them, constantly causing chaos. And in turn, the Children feared and admired them.
Why did that happen for one? And for the other?
One would wonder. Was it plain arrogance by the Adults? An enjoyment of their “superior” status? Many sometimes prayed that these Adults would continue going up and simply leave. Why did they not do that? Surely looking at imperfect beings all day wasn’t something a symbol of purity would enjoy. Then.
Perhaps they were scared to continue going up.
And the Children…these poor existences. They knew that their suffering would never end. So they looked up—was it out of fear, so they could know when to run and hide, covering their ears with their strength being used to shut their eyes as tightly as possible? Or perhaps, was it out of admiration, where they admired the very half-presence of the “perfect” beings?
…Maybe it was a mixture of both.
The two races had a certain legend in common, however. There were certain inaccuracies between the two versions, but in the end, they were the same. Everyone knew it by heart, although they denied it.
It talked about a Child that would climb a tower of spikes. Said tower was, of course, the only one in all of the Earth that could rise up to the level of the Adults. It was constructed an incredibly long time ago by a certain group known as Society, as a means of testing oneself. Of course, the one who completed that test would become a perfect being.
So, of course. In the legend, said Child climbed the tower of spikes. They persevered despite their bloody hands, with their tears helping blind them so they would not look down and fear—and they would not look up and be discouraged, either. And once they reached the top of the tower, of course, they became a perfect being. That was all there was to it.
The Children wondered what kind of purpose this tale had. Was it to create hope, that there was some way of being free from the oppression of the beings higher than them? Or perhaps it was simply used as a means to kill off the stupid, hopeful ones. With less people, there would be more food to go around.
But either way, whatever the original purpose of the tale was, it definitely worked for something. The bravest children, who weren’t afraid of anything and wanted to become powerful enough to give payback to the ones who bullied them, tried their hands at climbing the tower. The most cowardly ones, who were ready to die anyway, also climbed the tower, seeing that anything was better than the current situation they were in.
In the Adults’ version of the tale, it worked as a means of which to explain their birth. Sometimes a new Adult would simply show up in the middle of them, and after thoroughly examining them to make sure they were one of their equals, would accept them with cheers and joy. They explained that through the only thing that was in their level—the tower.
They talked about the tower as a means of which the souls of pure beings, which were placed in the wrong side, were reborn as the Adults they should have been from the start. They completely eliminated the part where it was a Child that had climbed the tower and become a perfect being through their own effort. After all, they didn’t even want to think that the beings that they bullied and berated could ever compare to them.
Even so, they would feel a sense of nostalgia against the imperfect beings that were down there. And because of that nostalgia, their denial and hatred grew even stronger, as to forget that this feeling had ever happened. But when they looked at the tower, one of the only things that was in the same level as them, the one thing that they characterized as their mother, their lifegiver…
They couldn’t help but feel a spike of hatred rising from their hearts. That feeling, however, was not something that a perfect being would have, especially against the one that gave them life. So they ignored it and focused their negative feelings on the Children below them.
…So, of course. The ones that didn’t climb the tower and the ones who didn’t continue rising up with their wings were only left to wonder what happened in life.
After all, none of them grew. None of them went anywhere. If anything, life was completely stagnant.
Even for the Children that climbed the tower, all they had was a single fleeting moment of change, where they became an Adult.
Was it always this immediate, they would wonder. They would, should their minds not been wiped, their feelings not desecrated by the spikes of the tower. With each drop of blood that dripped from their hands, from their feet, each of their tears—they forgot their anger, their hopes, their memories, and even their own identity, in order to become what the tower desired. When they were completely dry, they were perfect.
…So.
With no change, one would look high up, and the other would look down.
They would never achieve a compromise, both sides completely empty.
The view from high up wasn’t very good. You could not make out the details of the lives in it, and you couldn’t even tell a river from a lake from the sea. All it was…was a bunch of distant blue. There was no way through which they could even see animals—even though they knew of them from distant memories, they didn’t even know what they looked like. Perhaps that’s why they accepted them as beings better than Children.
And the view from the ground…yes, there was no worth looking up from there. The sky could change color all it wanted, but it was still that same sky. The clouds would cover the view during the day, and then during the night, it would be filled with stars, all of them glittering to call your attention and distract you. Even though each of the stars and clouds were different, you could barely tell. There was no worth looking at something that was so far up from you, where you could not appreciate it for what it was, all of its features and differences. You simply couldn’t tell from that distance.
…How terrible.
If only Children grew to become Adults, instead of transforming into them.
What kind of being would a Child that “grew” become?
The kind of being that would have seen the Earth, each of its little details, and then would have seen the sky, all of its mysteriously beautiful creations. If they had both views, if they hadn’t yearned for the one thing they didn’t have, if they had a moment of peace to grow…would they be that kind of being?
I wonder if they would bring peace. If tiny little feathers would grow from their back and eventually turn into glamorous wings. If they would be able to love both the agglomerate of life in the Earth and the vast emptiness in the sky. Then it would all truly be ideal, wouldn’t it…
Then, please allow them to grow.
In this “society” where one can only prove themselves by going through hardship and demeaning those who are inexperienced…
In this “society” where one can only bet their life in a race to become complete before anyone else and leave others to die…
Allow them to grow. With both views, I am sure that they would bring something new. They would go higher up, much higher up…bringing everyone to a place where the tower’s spikes cannot reach.
“Hey, you ready for our date?” Grant spoke on his phone as he put a few boxes away, dancing just a bit, his hips swaying from left to right here and there without any particular momentum, especially with his tail not really cooperating much. But even though it looked pretty awful, he enjoyed himself while he talked to his boyfriend.
“I’m the one who should be asking you that, y’know. Aren’t you still at work?” The raven on the other side of the call, however, was slightly messier than his feline boyfriend. His face was visibly happy even as he looked at the outfits he prepared; but his free hand said otherwise, as he kept tapping his finger everywhere he could. He’d switch his arms’ position all the time, so sometimes he’d tap it on his sides, sometimes on his elbow, and when he get close to the desk he’d tap it on there too. It was almost like he was providing a beat for his boyfriend to dance to, and both were in incredible synchrony, as they were both awful.
“Well, it sounds better than your flirting right now, that’s for sure.” He put one of his outfits back into his wardrobe while he spoke, finally eliminating one of the many possible ones. It wasn’t too cold today, so no reason to wear huge poofy clothes. Now he only had…seven more possible outfits to decide from. He put a hand to his head and stayed silent for a while, mentally reprimanding himself on the fact that he wasn’t even close to being ready.
“Haha, okay, I deserved that one.” The cat proudly admitted it as he finished putting away the boxes, stretching himself for a nice long while. Still no reply. “…Drew?” He curiously asked, only half-concerned, as he already had a small clue of what was going on.
“Uh, yeah? What is it?” The raven finally replied, his nervous tone of voice already giving him away. Even if it hadn’t, the sound he made when he threw himself on the bed near all his clothes would have.
“You still haven’t answered my question, y’know. That one I made when I started the call, about you being ready, all that kind of stuff...ring a bell?” Grant now had an incredibly smug grin on his face as he teased his partner. Knowing Drew would still have a long way to go, he didn’t even get too pushy about leaving work just yet; he just walked out, locked the storage room and then sat on a nearby desk to fully appreciate this occasion.
“Oh, that one…” He scratched his neck a bit. “Hey, our date wouldn’t happen to be at—“
“Yes, it is at the usual place.” He pretended to be just slightly disappointed as he heard that sigh of relief, mostly since it was fitting. He’d probably be called weird for finding those habits of his boyfriend to be adorable, so he might as well keep it to himself. Especially since maybe it’d creep him out. “Don’t worry and just dress like usual, alright? I’m gonna go now.”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll be waiting for you~” Drew regained his energy and spoke happily as he did a high jump off the bed, twirled a bit and put all of his clothes away, all that while ending the call. The hardest part was now officially over, and now he’d actually be on time. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
“I don’t even know why I worry about that kind of stuff when he probably doesn’t even care about appearances…” He mumbled to himself, using his own voice for reassurance as he dug through his wardrobe with the exact thing in mind. His wardrobe was actually fairly organized, with clothes always separated by color or style, but his organization was always useless as he always ended up making a mess while he searched for what he wanted. After a while, though, he finally found what he was looking for: The exact outfit he was using on the day they started dating. It was only fitting to wear that, since they were going to the same place where they started.
It wasn’t really anything too special; a normal black t-shirt, a jacket, and a pair of jeans. But after all, that was the point of it, considering the way it happened.
Some time later, he went to the mirror and checked himself, trying to look as charismatic as possible. That was slightly limited with what he was wearing, he thought, but that just made feeling good the more important. Even if he didn’t now, Grant would be here anytime soon to make him, so he wasn’t concerned at all…and of course, just as he thought about him, the doorbell rang, and he immediately went to open the door.
“Even though it’s on foot, it still counts as picking you up, right?” The cat said as soon as the door opened, and Drew smirked a bit.
“I don’t mind. It’s more time I spend with you.” He turned off the lights in his house, walked out, and locked the door, as if that comment wasn’t much. It sure was to Grant, as he felt his face heating up just slightly. “Although if you want to carry me there, I wouldn’t mind.” He held out his hand to him, and Grant took it without hesitation, as they started making their way while holding hands.
“Do you want your poor and delicate boyfriend to break his back?” He asked, throwing his hand in front, so their hands would then go back and then forth again, following momentum. It was silly, and they only ever saw kids doing it, but there was no one around to see them, so no problem.
“No, but I have a lot of faith in his strength. But I think you could only let me piggyback on you, and I’m not sure of how romantic that would be.” As he spoke, he took a good look at his boyfriend. He, too, was wearing the same clothes from that day, and they seemed like they’d been pretty well-preserved, which was a miracle for clothes of his. Drew assumed that by now it’d already have at least three different stains from some kind of food or bad washing.
“Well, I need an incentive to bring out all that strength. If I was carrying you to bed, for example…” He teased, a playful smile on his face. Drew’s eyebrows quickly raised themselves in complete doubt.
“Both of us know it’s always the opposite way. And fulfilling your boyfriend’s desires should be enough incentive.” This time, he took the lead with the hand and let their hands go forward as much as they desired. “It’s enough incentive for me.” He stopped holding Grant’s hand and closed the distance between them, held his arm for just a bit and rubbed his head on his shoulder for just a few seconds before keeping a distance between them again, since they were approaching the restaurant. Grant also knocked off the stupidly big grin off his face from that as they entered.
As soon as they entered, they started walking slowly, taking a good look at the inside of it for empty tables. “…Here! It’s free!” Drew called out to Grant, pointing to a table that was on the upper left part of the restaurant, and they both quickly took their seats.
“Even if we got the same place as the table from before, makes me wonder if it’s the same table…” Grant spoke as soon as he took a seat, examining the table…by laying his face and arms on it. Actually, he was just getting comfortable.
“Well, even if it isn’t, we’ll pretend it is for sentimental and romantic reasons.” He spoke without any doubt as he waited for a waiter to come to them. The table they were sitting at actually had a rather good view of the “restaurant”, especially from Drew’s seat—and that was when the amount of reforms this place had gone through really showed. This “restaurant” was actually an incredibly weird child of a diner, a coffeeshop and a restaurant; all of these being past “forms” of it, so to say. Each time it was about to go bankrupt, someone would partner up with the current owner and try to transform it into something new, but disagreements would happen and eventually it’d end up as a half-finished thing, which would cause bankruptcy again. Now it was doing slightly better if only because of the variety of foods in it, which mostly made it a failsafe for when no one could decide where to go.
“Man, they still haven’t finished the painting on this wall…” Grant said, his head turned to it as he rested. “Though then again, no use finishing it if it’s just gonna change soon, I guess.” He yawned as soon as he was done, but got up as soon as he saw that a waiter had walked up to them and left a menu for each of them.
“Good night, sirs. May I take your order?” He asked in a polite tone, which completely unnerved the feline. He hoped that the waiter hadn’t heard him talking about the place…
“I assume you’re not too hugry, since you seem like you snacked quite a bit at work?” Drew made the comment as he read, and his boyfriend immediately jumped back. Thankfully none of them could see the other’s face, thanks to the incredibly large size of the menu, although both of them could make some pretty accurate guesses.
“...Damn, are you stalking me or something?” He replied back at his boyfriend, before finally deciding on something to eat. “Um, can you get me a small portion of fries? And some grape juice, I think.” He then turned to the waiter and told him his order, handing back the menu to him.
“That’s because you always get doozy after you eat. You’re not the type to get tired from just work.” Still with his menu up, he retorted to his boyfriend, who seemed pretty impressed at Drew’s knowledge of him. “And um, as for me…” Drew then took out a small notepad and a pen from his pocket, noted down a few things, and handed it to the water. “I’ll be having these, thank you.” He gave a small smile to the waiter, who took a look at the list with raised eyebrows, took the two menus, and then walked away.
“Why’d you note down the order for him? Couldn’t you just have said it?” Grant asked, some curiosity showing on his face, which clearly bothered his boyfriend.
“I…couldn’t really pronounce the name, and getting it wrong would be pretty embarrassing, so I wrote it down instead.” He excused himself quickly, getting just a bit red and also fidgety, which made Grant even more curious.
“Come on, it’s not like they serve a ton of foreign food here.” He inquired onto it. Drew, of course, fidgeted even more.
“It’s nothing special. You’ll, uh, know when you see it.” He desperately tried to dodge the question until he had a small flash of inspiration, which brought back his confidence. “B-Besides! I know a few of your habits by now, so you should know without having to ask me, no?” The tides of the conversational battle now turned, Grant felt the weight coming onto him.
“I do know your habits, I just don’t comment on them a lot or happen to know this specific one.” He quickly ran through the list of habits and odd behaviors his boyfriend had in his mind and gave up once none of them fit the bill. He decided to just wait and see, like he was suggested. After that brief moment of silence, Drew spoke up again.
“Oh, and by the way, I’ll pay the bill by myself this time, okay?” That completely surprised Grant, considering the usual rule was that they either split the bill or take turns if one didn’t have money at the moment. And since it was their anniversary, he wanted to just show up with money and surprise him…
“You sure? I mean, I have money on me and we’re not really owing anything to each other either…” He scratched the back of his head, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
“Oh, well, it’s just that, you know…it’s our anniversary and all. You remember how it went on our first date, right?” He started looking at the table as he spoke, trying not to meet eyes with his boyfriend as he smiled just a bit. “You treated me that day, remember? I think I ended up totally forgetting about it and never paying you back, so I think I might as well do it now.” His eyes finally met Grant’s again, with them staring at each other for a bit without saying anything.
“…Especially since I’ve already snacked quite a bit and it’ll end up cheaper than paying me?” He changed the mood with a snarky comment, however.
“Heh, maybe, but don’t go flattering yourself that day. Your fault for trying to win me over with just about everything they had in here, even though I already liked you.” Now, instead of avoiding eye contact, he actually focused on it instead, knowing that it’d make his boyfriend embarrassed. The subject of his confession always did.
“I still can’t believe you were going to confess to me THE DAY AFTER THAT—you could at least not have told me! I’d at least have felt a little bit more confident in myself for winning you over!” He then avoided eye contact, just as predicted, and his shoulders slumped as his ears drooped. “And my wallet would have felt a bit fatter, too…”
“Aw, don’t be like that. You may not have felt confident or rich, but you still felt loved, right? And I like making you feel loved.” Drew’s chair then got a bit closer to the table as he kept brushing his leg against Grant’s, which was met with a frown, raised eyebrows and a good dosage of doubt.
“…Somewhat. And you should have confessed to me sooner! You’re too passive!” Right after he said that, his eyebrows went down as Drew’s went up, the Godly Eyebrow Balance setting everything right. Although Drew was smiling, instead of frowning.
“Want to say that again after tonight, or do you want to take it back now?” The amount of red that showed up on Grant’s face could have been used to repaint the entire restaurant, without any parts missing. Unfortunately, as he was pretty flustered right now, there was a certain tinge of doubt that he would offer his kindness just like that.
“Quiet.” Was the only word that he could muster, which only really served to make Drew smile even more. Once he realized his boyfriend wasn’t too interested or capable of bringing another topic into it, he decided to take the conversation another way.
“Anyway, in another way, aren’t you a bit impulsive too? I mean, we just ended up here that day because it was raining. There wasn’t really any guarantee I’d be there…”
“Oh, I…guess so.” He scratched the back of his head. “Well, actually, that day I was waiting in front of your house to confess to you and stuff, but then it started raining…and I was planning on giving you a present, too, with the money I spent on food.”
“A present? That’s the first I’ve heard of it. Did you forget to buy it that day or…?”
“Actually, I thought that maybe giving you a present was too much for a confession since it’d look like I was buying your love, but then I decided to get one anyway. Buuut then I couldn’t decide, so…my plan was to give you the money and let you decide.” He looked away as soon as he finished saying that. A good decision.
“Why, yes, literally buy me, won’t you?” He laughed quite a bit, enjoying one of the few moments of upper-hand that he had over his boyfriend. Just these few minutes had already made the night for him…but. “Aaallthooouugh…I can’t really say you’re not considerate. I love you.” He then put his hand over Grant’s, whose eyes focused on the hand and slowly went up until they were having eye contact with Drew.
“If you’re trying to get me as embarrassed as I was that day, it’s only slightly working.” He spoke with an incredibly down-to-earth tone. “But…I love you too.” And for a while they played with their hands, not really breaking eye contact or subtle smiles…until the waiter arrived with the dishes, that is.
“Here’s your order.” He said, putting one of the dishes he was carefully trying his best to hold down onto the table. That dish was Grant’s fries. However, the waiter was also balancing several other dishes using his arm, and for a minute, Grant wondered which of them his boyfriend had ordered. He tried to look at the ones that had the most complicated names, but…
The correct answer was…all of the dishes.
Drew helped the waiter put down the dishes on the table one by one so they wouldn’t drop, the waiter practically rapping to a beat with the constant repetition of “I’m sorry”, “My apologies”, and “Thank you”. The raven had replied to each of those remarks the first time, but once he realized the waiter was a nervous saliva-spitting mess right now instead of someone normally trying to apologize, he gave up.
Meanwhile, Grant was constantly amazed by how such a small restaurant table could always defy physics and hold even more plates on top of it despite the fact that it was already almost completely covered. There were, somehow, no plates that were on top of each other, so each of the plates was indeed consuming a certain amount of space on the table. By all means, this table should have been gone a long time ago, and yet it was still fighting the good fight.
All due to a single man’s hunger.
Grant shivered when he stopped to acknowledge the fact that it was his boyfriend that caused this tragedy.
“I’m so sorry for this, I should’ve taken two trips…but I thought I could…” The waiter tried to apologize to Drew once more, but he ended up only mumbling to himself, almost crying. Drew got closer to comfort him.
“It’s fine, we all do that sometimes, don’t worry about it!” He tried to put on the most cheerful tone he could muster. This was not a situation that he was expecting when he had come to this restaurant.
“I…my pride as a waiter is ruined…” But the waiter’s face kept darkening, and one could see the snot and tears building up from a mile away. Ew.
“Here, c’mon, blow your nose on this…” He took a napkin from a nearby table while they were looking away and gave it to the waiter, who blew on it promptly, making an incredibly loud noise. Grant jumped back when he heard it. “You can always rebuild your pride! Just go back to that kitchen, take a few plates, put them on the tables, and voila! You’ll be known restaurant…wide…all over again, it’s a new start!” Drew patted him on the back and just lightly pushed him to have him get back to work. The waiter looked at him for a few seconds, and they nodded at each other until he finally decided to keep moving on.
“…Really?” But then the waiter turned to look at him in the last moment for reassurance. Good part of the restaurant was watching, including Grant. Certain part of Drew was almost as nervous as this waiter was before.
“Of course! You can do it, I mean, whenever I’ve come here you’ve never made that kind of mistake!” This, of course, was because he rarely ever actually came here. He didn’t even really remember this guy. “So go on, okay? There are lots of people waiting for you. For you.” He placed emphasis on that last “you” as he pointed at the waiter. Touched, the waiter choked back tears, nodded quickly a few times and went. Drew just slumped down on his chair as soon as people stopped looking at him.
“Wow.” Was all Grant had to say.
“…I did a good thing, right?”
“...Yeah, you did.” There was a small amount of silence before Grant continued. “Especially if you consider that this, well….was kind of your fault.” His eyes focused on the huge amount of food displayed on the table.
“See, this is why I didn’t want to say it out loud!” He complained, the tides now turning back against him.
“Oh, I thought it was because the name was hard to pronounce.” He said sarcastically as he tried to support his elbows on the table. Once he realized how much of a bad idea that was, he backed off and ate one of the fries on his plate.
“I’m paying, aren’t I? I think I have the right to eat as much as I want.” He said, partially as a counter argument, but also mostly to convince himself as he shoved his fork into a large piece of meat and just shoved it into his mouth.
“Sure. I mean, you only bought this much to pay me back for that day, after all.” Once he had concluded that he wouldn’t be able to intimidate his boyfriend by supporting his elbow on the table and getting close to him, he opted for a more subtle approach, sitting back on his chair with his arms crossed and a smug smile on his face. It would have worked better if Drew’s eyes weren’t on the food, but he took what he could get.
“This is technically for our anniversary, too.” He said after he finally swallowed the meat that was in his mouth. “After all, that day you practically bought me everything on the menu, no? Now that there’s new things in it, I have to try them out, especially since I rarely come here. I’m simply a completionist.” He said as he cut a piece of meat, stabbed it with his fork and held it in front of Grant’s face, who stared at it for a while until he finally bit it.
“Although I don’t really believe in that reason of yours, I do believe in how tasty this one is…” He spoke as he chewed. Drew tried his best not to point this out, but thankfully he swallowed soon after. “I never thought the qualities I looked for in a boyfriend were the abilities to destroy a waiter’s self confidence in seconds, rebuild it and then eat a shitton of food, but it seems like I love guys like that.” His smile was still smug as always, although now it didn’t seem to bother Drew as much. It was slightly appreciated.
“You sure you’re that full? I mean, back in the day, I wasn’t able to eat this much, remember?” Drew twirled his fork in a macaroni-like dish, probably intending for it to come across as him teasing something. But the message that got across was that he really liked macaroni, wanted to eat all of it and that he probably wouldn’t be able to eat the rest of this after it. Grant acknowledged that.
“Yes, I am full. And now I will focus on my fries, so once you reach your limit you can go and ask that same waiter from before to give us the leftovers.”
…And properly dealt with it, making his boyfriend glare at him as he ate his macaroni and reluctantly looked at the rest of the food he ordered, making plans on how he would deal with it. As Grant sat back and ate his fries, he thought that he really should have seen this coming before; he didn’t think of his boyfriend ordering a lot of food because he usually eats and spends incredibly little, but he always has a day where he loses control and eats as much as he can or spends as much as he wants to. And it hadn’t come in a while.
After that, they both ate in almost complete silence. This is because as soon as Grant finished his fries, all he did was look at Drew as he ate. Which meant having a smug smile as his boyfriend struggled to finish the food. And every time he tried to open his mouth, it was met with a single “Quiet.”, which only made him giggle and go back to staring at him. Sometimes a “Get that smug smile off your face, you’ll see” comment would fly out, and obviously he wouldn’t obey it.
And once that long and arduous battle against the food on the table was over…the winner was, obviously, the food.
“Should I congratulate you for getting this far, or will you tell me to shut up?” Grant asked. Drew contemplated taking all of the plates on the table and throwing at his face. He did not, but he congratulated himself on his self-control.
“I’ll ignore that comment of yours.” He retorted with a face that was less than amused. “Um, excuse me!” He said as a waiter passed by his table, and as the waiter turned around, he tried his best not to sigh. Of course it would be the same one from before.
“Oh, sir! Thank you for before. May I help you with something?” He asked with eyes full of newfound hope. Drew recalled the moment that he raised his eyebrows when he handed him the list with everything he ordered—a stronger man, he was. Would he really have the courage to ask this waiter to pack all these for later?
“Oh, no worries, I mean, I’m the one who ordered all this, ahaha…” He scratched his head, when in reality he wanted to crush it. “But if you could please bring me the bill and…pack the rest of this food for me…” He threw the bomb. Now it was the waiter’s turn to either catch it and throw it elsewhere or to face his doom and curse Drew for eternity.
“Oh, yes, please wait just a minute. I’ll have this ready in just a bit!” He spoke with cheery, bubbly happiness as he grabbed the plates, some full, some empty, which made it somewhat easier to carry them. Drew had underestimated the hope in the hearts of humans.
“And you were trying to scare me.” He quickly recovered himself and turned to his boyfriend with newfound confidence.
“Look, I know you were either pissing yourself or feeling incredibly bad on the inside, don’t try to fool me.” The smug smile finally left his face for only the briefest moment, his eyebrows now raised. But Drew’s hope would never die!
“Even if I did, you have no way to prove it. I did a good deed today, just look at him go.” He puffed out his chest, but stopped once he felt the heartburn, clutching his chest.
“I’d ask if you’re okay, but I’m sure your positive karma will save you.” He finally regained his smug stance. The king had never left.
“Frankly? Go fuck yourself.”
“If I do, I’ll be thinking about you while doing it.” He brushed his legs against Drew’s, as if a comeback for before.
“It’s unfortunate, but fate really paired me up with the man of my dreams, hasn’t it.” He accepted it with a completely emotionless face. Thankfully, the waiter quickly arrived with the bill.
“Here it is, sir.” He put the leftovers, which were carefully placed in a customized plastic bag with the restaurant’s logo on it, on the table before handing the bill. Once Drew took a look at the bill, he wasn’t surprised; although there was a tinge of regret in his eyes.
“I’ll pay it with my debit card, please. Knowing me, this could be good for myself.” He spoke as he took out his wallet and then his card, giving it to the waiter.
“Since if you exhaust it now you won’t be able to go crazy buying stuff online, especially considering you’re too lazy to put money in it?” Grant popped up with a sarcastic comment. Now he had done it.
“You can learn to hold your tongue when we’re near other people now, or I can hold my tongue around you forever, since I do not talk to people without any manners.” Drew immediately cut him down, so to speak, and he backed off completely now. The waiter was now visibly nervous, and after taking the card and using it, handed it back to Drew for him to type his password. Once he did and the receipt was printed and taken, he started getting up from his chair.
“”Thank you very much.”” Both the waiter and Drew said to each other as he left the restaurant, Grant following him reluctantly in silence.
“Phew, I can barely move~” Drew said as soon as he left the restaurant, stretching himself a bit, completely relaxed. His boyfriend, however, wasn’t even near that.
“Uh, hey, sorry about that just now. I really really screwed up, I mean, I totally even ruined our anniversary…” He grabbed at his pants a bit, his head pointed down, no eye contact being made.
“Come on now, you know you didn’t. You screwed up and ran your mouth in front of other people, which I’m not too comfortable with. But I also had a great time with you in our anniversary.” He put his hands on Grant’s shoulders, which gave him the signal to look at him. “I’m not mad, okay? Besides, I already snapped back at you. We’re equal now.” Drew hugged him, and it didn’t take long for Grant to return the hug.
“Haha, sorry, I can overdo it a bit and…well, you know how I am, I’m just…” As he went back to making excuses, though, Drew put a single finger on his mouth.
“Cute. You’re cute and in need of a better place to be with me so I can remind you of that and of how much I love you.” A few seconds after that was said, Grant got the message of what it meant and smiled a tad. But once they were about to start walking, he went in front of Drew and positioned his back to him.
”…So, how about I give you a ride back now?” He spoke, and boy was he glad he actually had a reason to look down this time. He could do and say corny things sometimes, but only when he was in complete control of it. He was worried about how it’d come off across to Drew, if he’d find it silly, if he’d just tell him to get up and walk, or…
“You don’t have to, you know…you’re just gonna break your back, c’mon.” He massaged a bit on his boyfriend’s shoulders, trying to make him get up. But it didn’t work.
“I mean, you said you could barely move, right? And I didn’t help you with the food or anything, so…” He desperately wanted to use his hands to grab at something or fidget a bit, but they were still positioned behind him to catch his boyfriend. There was no way he’d fail at that. “And I mean, you say it was fun for you and stuff, but all I did was just be smug all the time and you paid and all that and I didn’t really do anything for you and I even screwed up last minute so like…agh sorry I’m not that great with words but basically…” Once he realized the amount of “and”s in his sentence, he reprimanded himself. He felt incredibly pathetic right now, but…
“Let me do something for you tonight, okay? I, well…it’s kind of selfish, but it’d make me feel better a bit.” He finally spit it out. And as if a reward from the heavens had come down for him for saying that, Drew slowly embraced him from behind without saying anything. And for a while, they silently walked, Grant carrying him on his back.
“You know, I don’t mind if you can’t find the words you want to say to me. It reminds me a lot of when we started dating. Maybe even before then.” Drew finally spoke, with an incredibly soft voice. “You didn’t really know how to confess to me, you ordered everything on the menu to butter me up, you were flustered and fidgeting all the time…for me. It was weird for me, you know. Realizing that.”
The silence continued on Grant’s side…or so it seemed. Drew could feel some light vibrations coming from near his neck, and a sound that was like an engine…a purring sound. He really felt complete.
“I couldn’t really realize why you were doing all that for me. While we were friends, you were mostly just cool or funny all the time, but then you’d slip up a bit when we were alone. I liked it.” He rubbed his head on Grant’s. “No, rather than ‘like’, it’s something I love in you, you know. You can screw up with your words sometimes, but you still do a lot for me. Blushing, purring, fidgeting…it all says a lot, too.”
Once he was done saying that, there was only a small silence. Just the purring and a small, whimpering sound could be heard until they were close to reaching Drew’s house.
“Then…”
He finally dropped Drew on the front gate, and after he finally regained his strength, he turned to look at him.
“W-what does this say?” An incredibly beautiful, breathtaking face covered with tears showed itself.
“That you’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.” Drew said in reply as he walked towards his front door and unlocked it. “And that it’s my turn.” He then went back, picked up his boyfriend without much trouble and carried him inside.
Tut a tut, a tut a tut, once(upon a time!) there were a pair of friends. Friend A, and Friend B.
Tut a tut, tap tap, tut a tut, tap tap. Friend A’s steps made sounds everywhere we went, announcing his presence! His heels were the toughest rivals, always hitting each other, and his legs? When he jumped, they were as far away from each other as could be! Oh no no no, they were fake Friends indeed. All fine on the ground, but when it came to the aerial spotlight? Hmph!
Either way, Friend A was simply gorgeous, truly. What a beautiful man, or at the very least as beautiful as a shadow like him could get. After all, he was all talk, no substance. By which I mean he was a people hole. Or, ah, actually, that can be taken the wrong way. What I mean is a black hole in the form of a human. However, he did not swallow anything! Who knows if it’s because he wanted to avoid the jokes or if he’s just shy. Well, I wouldn’t know. I’m just giving you my dirt on him so you can see him in your mind, ohohoho.
hroat, and those retinas, and all those organs I don’t know the name of, god, all that stuff—anyway he’s human. I mean, who cares about humans? We’ve had so many lately. And by lately I mean since the creation of the world. They’re not supposed to be ‘trendy’ anymore! I mean, I’d get it if someone was looking for a “vintage” characteristic, but WE HAVEN’T EVEN MOVED FROM AGE <ONE>! Christ.
Ann new way, Friend A was just like, so handsome for a black hole! And Friend B was just a human. They weren’t even discriminated upon or forbidden or anything! This wasn’t even a Romeo and Juliet, more like…Lady and the Tramp. And he wasn’t even fluffy like a dog! Friend A had to date someone that was like…a sun god. Oh yes, that would be just amazing. Someone that was light personified giving a kiss to darkness personified, and then moving on to their neck, biting them, desperately devouring them…oh my lord, the role reversal would simply be amazing. It’d be like those generic shows where goodness always wins, but sexy. Meanwhile what we have here is a tragedy. S i g h.
Either way, once a good morning and a good afternoon had passed, it was finally time for the good—oh, but we should call it amazing—night where Friend A would appear. And heavens up there, did he appear. Tut a tut tut tut, like a handsome fairy, tap tap peck peck, everyone joined in. His stylish walking, his captivating dancing, they all attracted every living being around him, ah yes, this was the true meaning of his title as black hole. He attracted everyone around him, and soon he was leading a parade around town. And it was the only parade I had ever seen where no one—absolutely no one—opened their mouths to yell or sing or even say anything. Not even once. No one needed singing when there were such beautiful sounds all around, this noise turned into melody.
The parade obviously ended when Friend A reached Friend B’s doorstep. Oh, everyone had lost their drive when they got there! It was one of the most depressing things to see, like fans after their team loses the final match, or when the underdog finally makes it all the way to the top without giving up only to get knocked down once and for all. Maybe someday once more, even tomorrow, there would be another parade like this, but it was the end of an era. Not because it wouldn’t happen again, and even less because it’d take a long time to happen again. But this moment lasted a lifetime for us. The earth’s rotation around the sun could say whatever it wanted about how long it lasted; it was just a crazy ball spinning in circles, who the hell’s gonna take it seriously?
So either way, Friend A rang Friend B’s doorbell, and soon enough, the boring existence appeared there, all dressed up. But to us all, he still looked the same. They say what matters is what’s on the inside and not on the outside, like organs and all that, no? And his were those of a human’s. Meh.
“Oh, is…everyone with you?” Friend B asked, looking at the crowd that was behind Friend A. And of course, for the first time, Friend A had actually looked behind himself, examined us and then realized that we were still here…no, actually, maybe he didn’t notice we were following him to begin with. We all made the closest thing to puppy eyes each of us could do(hell, some of us WERE puppies), but no dice. He signaled to Friend B that they should get inside. After all, a date around town wouldn’t really be much of anything if the entire town was away.
And then Friend A left us for the house of the spineless…oh, humans have spines. Either way, he left us for the house of that thing. Once he was there, he then spun him around, distanced himself from him while holding his hand, and then once the momentum was right, pulled him right back into his tough, loving embrace. Oh, if only he had distanced himself forever…but God is a cruel being, and he hasn’t checked his emails for my complaints in a long time.
There was a moment of silence between the two as they shared that embrace for as long as they could, Friend A’s body almost completely isolating the other’s from the world. Who needed this world when you had him? But alas, Friend B wasn’t given that privilege, as he got pushed back just slightly so that he could look at Friend A’s face. Friend A then put his finger to his lips, signaling for a kiss. Absolutely disgusting. Friend B, obviously, became as flushed as his humany skin would allow him to, but he didn’t hesitate in the least, like the shameless bastard he is.
Now, I don’t know much about kissing, but from what I know, or at least what I think I know, it was probably like this: Their lips brushed against each other just a little bit for a while, like little kisses, each of them reaching out just a bit. Personally I think that’s cheating because there was only supposed to be one kiss but whatever, I don’t make the rules, whatever makes the hot guy happy. Of course, during that, their hands were completely inactive, not really doing much of anything except stress control every time they closed their hand like there was an invisible ballt here, and now they moved to having their hands on the other’s face, getting even closer. And it was like they had evolved or something, or maybe their lips were just better at close-range combat, because they had a DAMN LONG kiss. And it was probably tongue too, because Friend B’s tongue was colored black right after that. And it’s not supposed to be black, it’s supposed to be pink or blue! Or purple? I think it changed all the time, but the point is, it’s not supposed to be black!
After they were done kissing, their hands just slid down from each other’s face, with them feeling each other eveeeerywheeeree. Friend B’s hands felt Friend A’s pecs just like that, and he didn’t even have to open his dirty mouth for Friend A to get the message and pick him up. He actually carried him! Unbelievable. And to another room, no less…it was obvious what would happen now to practically anyone. Thankfully, the obvious didn’t happen, because if it did, I’d have to stop telling this right now.
In the room that Friend A carried Friend B to, there was no bed, no candles, absolutely nothing like that. Instead, there was a surgical table, a few tools, the light necessary to operate….yes, all the practical things needed. He laid down Friend B on the table like the most delicate of princesses. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t even attach any straps to keep him in place, meaning this was totally and completely willing. My oh my!
After this, Friend A had to undress him, or at the very least his top. In this case, he got on top of Friend B on the surgical table, and began to kiss him on the neck. From there on, he kept going down, leaving small kisses on his clothes…and sure enough, with each kiss, those parts disappeared. Once the entire front part of the top was gone, he started licking Friend B’s stomach, completely dyeing it black. Now instead of kisses, he licked in the opposite way from before, going upwards, until Friend B’s skin was completely black. His entire torso looked like it was just a puddle of a dark substance, much like Friend A himself.
Friend A then reached onto Friend B, and put his hand down his chest as if it was a small lake. There was obviously no skin there anymore.
“So, tell me, which do you value most again?” Friend A spoke for the first time in quite a while. After all, this was the only situation where he could speak, emulating Friend B’s voice. “Following your dream, or being happy?” He asked with the sweetest, most alluring tone. It made one want to simply answer with “yes”, oh yes it did.
“Being happy, of course.” Friend B answered, and the sounds that Friend A always made when he walked were heard. That beautiful tut tut, that catchy tap tap…and a slicing sound. A ballerina was just killed, somewhere.
“Good boy. As always, you know everything.” Friend A praised him just like that, an approving look on his face. A look that many, many people desired, including me, but that was also feared. “And now for the next question…being beautiful, or being happy?” He asked in the same tone as before, and Friend B answered immediately.
“Being happy, of course.” He answered, no doubt in his mind. And then, ripping sounds were heard, skin being pulled and torn apart, bones being broken, characteristics being crushed, someone’s own identity leaving. Only a human was left after that mess, but Friend A did not care. “You’re so smart. That’s why I love you.” He said, and then leaned down onto Friend B’s face for a kiss. …If it really could be called a kiss. No one had any idea of where the lips were on his face, or if he even had them on his body now to begin with. He was human, definitely, but…
“And now, for the last question. Being acknowledged and loved…or being happy?” He asked Friend B. There were so many people that wished that he had gulped right now, that he had shown hesitation, that he had stopped for just a minute, but…
“Being happy, of course!” He said, not stopping to think about it for even a minute. And then, the sound that played…was my voice. A scream of mine, maybe? I think I was shouting “NO!” at him. Bah, who cares. Of course we hate a human like him. Of course…why not. Anyway, let’s not think about it too much. So, I wonder when their next date will be…I’d rather not be reminded of something this troublesome again.
A curse works by taking a hold of a person’s feelings instead of utilizing the forces of nature and occurrence. Therefore, it could be said that unlike magic, curses are not physical, and are therefore more versatile, although their effects can be hard to discern.
Magic works with immediate effects. Once you borrow anything that exists in this world to cause something, it can be said to be magic. The effect is always immediate, even if the consequences are long-lasting. However, what about curses?
A curse can happen at any time the person in control so desires. Of course, they can also depend a lot on their specific characteristics. You could create a curse that causes a person to be hit by a car when they go out; which means that, as long as they do not go out, they are safe. Or perhaps a curse that will cause the person and their child to die during childbirth, which could be averted by having an abortion as soon as possible.
Curses require little to no actual experience or knowledge to manage, only self-control. Due to that, the amount of curse users should be immense, and yet there are next to none of them in this world. This can be attributed to our society, which looks at curses and feelings as only negative things, and therefore uses all kinds of propaganda to erase their existence. Often many potential curse users are actually destroyed from the inside, as they accumulated too much power without ever using it.
It is always expected of curse users to be incredibly negative people who immediately eliminate all of the people in their way, utilizing the hatred they have for them. This misconception is the farthest from the truth, especially considering the traditions that curse users uphold. It is believed that pleasure is taken from a healthy and balanced life, with feelings being unleashed at their own time. Of course, this leads to them taking their time to devour their prey, destroying their psyche little by little with weak curses. Thanks to this, another interpretation is that they are actually the cruelest, as they do not even give their victim the sweet release of death. Many see this as an unrealistic extreme.
Although there are some in the community that would like to fight for their rights and even include themselves among magic users, the general consensus of the community is that they are to hide themselves from society, seeing as curses are not things that will ever be accepted, even if they are necessary for some of them to survive. Instead, the focus is on preserving the tradition as quietly as possible, with a very specific language being taught to young curse users so that they can communicate with their kind without bringing themselves to the public eye. It is uncommon for a large amount of them to gather in one place.
There are many tales about the origins of curses, but since a lot of them are actually just made-up propaganda to get rid of them, it is hard to know what is true and what isn’t. One of the stories that is passed down on the community is that of a female curse user that took care of a village that had no magic users. They say she was God’s gift to them, intended to help them with the plague and all other things that they could not deal with. However, word of mouth soon spread, and after a while she was known even among normal magic users. Interested in exploring her powers, they constantly asked her for favors in order to witness what she did and know about it. They soon also changed her image to the villagers and caused them to become greedy, with them also asking her to do the smallest things.
Even though she was God’s gift to the village, she still felt annoyed. Even though helping them was only her duty and purpose in life, she still felt betrayed. An avatar of purity herself was corrupted; and soon, her powers started bringing death and suffering to everyone, even though she didn’t want to. Although she looked at them with kind eyes, her heart and curses did not lie. It is said that her anguish was so strong that it destroyed every life on earth, leaving nothing behind.
After this, the story varies a bit, but one version says that she wandered the world by herself, looking at all that she had wrought. Once she was done, the remorse she had felt was greater than anything, and she cried tears that turned into living beings. But once she cried all the water from her body, she started crying tears of blood instead, that turned into the first-ever curse users. It is unknown if she actually died after this; some say that she lived and took care of her “children”, teaching them to never bring themselves to the public eye and instilling their beliefs.
Some others say that only her dried up body was left, and with that, another woman took her body and made it her skin. She took in all of the regrets of the woman that was tormented by her fate, and promised to bring “justice” to her. This person is said to be the cause of suicides all among the world, spreading the feelings that her “mother” felt among the population. Since they are too strong for a normal person to handle, they kill themselves. (It is also another explanation for the next to non-existent suicide rate amongst curse users. Since they are constantly using up their negative feelings, they are never overwhelmed by them.)
Of course, this tale also brings to mind the existence of “Blessings”, which is just another word for curses that are used for positive effects. Since it uses someone’s positive feelings, if used excessively it can cause someone’s balance and mind to be completely disrupted. They are practically taboo among the community, and those who use it are considered naïve and foolish, especially with the notion that you can still bring good things to someone through negative means. (One of the biggest and most well-known examples of this is when one of the most in/famous curse users in modern society loved one of the members of a rich aristocratic family. Because said member was mistreated and abused by the family, they came to hate all of them and used a curse to kill off all of them so that the person they loved could inherit all of the fortune. More details about this somewhere else.)
Once, in a really really long time ago, I dared to wander in a certain forest.
There was nothing in the forest that wasn’t dangerous to me. Absolutely everything in it could kill me with a wrong step. The mushrooms were colored in the most unique kinds of ways, and the trees held all shapes of fruit, every single one of them looking as if they would make your very palate melt once you bit into them. And of course, once it did, and you fell into a most comfortable sleep, the grass of the forest would accept your entire body, with the leaves, they either scattered on the ground or attached to their trees, playing a most wonderful lullaby.
…Just thinking about that made me want to get up from my chair and go there. When was the last time I felt like doing something like this? How many years had I spent taking walks around my surroundings? There were all kinds of places around me, but the more I explored, the more I learned, the more I realized that they were all alike. They all came from the same origins, and so, with enough effort, you could learn completely about one through the other.
Therefore, eventually…I decided that they weren’t worth researching about anymore. They weren’t worth learning about anymore. It was just wasted effort.
So this was a very special occasion. Something worthy of a celebration, even! But just like there was always the grumpy child in Christmas, or the person who had an unrequited crush on the groom or bride during a wedding...there was a person that tried to stop me from enjoying my own celebration.
“You can’t go there.” They said, with a calm and reprimanding tone, as if just telling me since they were already there. As if there was no chance that I would ever go inside it. “That forest is full of death. As beautiful as the things there may be, they’ll definitely kill you.” They told me as if I didn’t already know. I felt the urge to scoff, to make a sarcastic comment or two and then be on my way and watch as they desperately chased me to stop me, but I held it back in. Doing things like that would only hurt my chances of ever getting to the place that I so desired.
And so, instead of letting it all out, I steamed over what I was feeling. There was a really faint degree of aggressiveness to my thoughts as I kept calling them a hypocrite over and over. The reason for that was that, at one point in my life, they told me that I “should always keep going, always keep exploring”.
If a person always has to keep going, then what is so wrong about going in the direction of the forest?
If a person always has to keep exploring, then what is so wrong about exploring that forest?
“You only lose when you stop going.”
What do I lose? A game? My will? My humanity?
You can’t stop thinking about things, otherwise you will “lose”. You can’t stop walking and going on forward, otherwise you will “lose”.
…So.
If you gave up on thinking about bad things, then would you lose? If you gave up on walking towards and experimenting bad things, would you?
I pondered over that as I walked in circles. I walked and walked and walked, until my body completely ran out of energy and started slowly shutting down. I lost feeling on my body parts such as my arms, legs and face. Then it was my hearing that had gone away. Perhaps my palate or smell had gone before it, but I didn’t really stop to notice. But the endpoint was that I had lost my eyesight. So without being able to tell where I was going, I walked without direction at one point and fell over after some time.
And then, when I woke up, where would I be except for…the entrance to that forest.
I could tell even though my view wasn’t one of the best, what with being on the ground. So, like a laidback teenager who had woken up early during a holiday forgetting that it was a schoolday, I…lazed around in my “bed”.
I didn’t know what to do. I really wanted to explore that forest, even though there was the chance that it would kill me. But I also didn’t want to make anyone sad or angry, and I didn’t really know if I wanted to die. But I wanted to think about it. I wanted to know about it. I wanted to explore and take my own conclusions from it…even if it meant having the incredibly high chance of dying.
If I rose myself from the ground, then where would my legs take me? Would they take me back home, or into the place that I had yet to know? Maybe my legs had an opinion of their own. Maybe relying on them wasn’t reliable, and was just like relying on someone else.
Or perhaps relying on things like chance and instinct were just completely cowardly to me.
Saying things such as “I’ll leave it up to chance, and I’ll accept whatever decision it makes” is a thing that only a coward would do. In the end, you can’t really have neutral feelings no matter the choice. You’ll regret a choice, and you’ll feel happy for another, as small as the feeling may be.
So, I wouldn’t be able to rely on my legs. I couldn’t just give myself the relief of not having to make a choice. To truly understand something, improve from it and lay down your heart to rest…you would need to understand it. Therefore, I’d first have to understand the choices that I had now.
To begin with, one of the choices wasn’t so much a choice as much as it was the beginning to one. “To explore”. “To think”. There was no objective attached to it except my own journey. At best, I could find one along the way.
And the other was simply just avoidance. “Do not explore.” “Do not think.” This one…also really had no purpose to it. If I followed that path, in the end, I would find nothing. That was a certainty. If I followed it and went around the entire world except that forest, then I would just be back at where I was before. If I stood in place and did nothing in that path, then I would still be looking at that forest. So, in my opinion…
I have to walk inside that forest. I have to explore everything in it that can kill me, that wants to kill me. I don’t want to believe that it’s wrong to live a life that isn’t safe or happy, to consider everything else in the world. So just before I go, I want to offer a prayer to everyone that is also stopping other people from exploring their own forests:
Please walk along them. If you want to protect them, then do not hold them back.
What is there to gain by simply holding them back? If you follow them, then you too can gain knowledge alongside them.
Of what use is love and care that immobilizes you? Of what use is a hug that crushes someone’s bones? Hold their hand in the forest so they will not lose themselves. That, by itself, is already a lot.
Hey everyone, I'm Lethal. It's gonna soon be two years since I started writing my gay-ish furry short stories, and I'm really happy for that, even though I don't have a lot of readers(though, granted, it's been a while since I updated, lol).
My stories are about a ridiculously silly raven with 8th grade syndrome, Raz, and his more serious black jaguar best friend, Erik. It focuses mostly on their stupid daily life and sometimes the crush they have on each other. It started as pretty much just a oneshot story that spanned on for too long, and I eventually started liking the characters and wrote more about them, so my stories are fairly clumsy since I didn't really plan them a lot lol. BUT THAT'S TOTALLY PART OF THE APPEAL AND WHAT BRINGS THE CUTENESS IN IT
Lately I've been trying to rework my characters, and I'd really appreciate if you all could take a look at my works to make it better. I'm a complete amateur and I get zero feedback since I don't have readers, which makes it a bit harder for me to know if my writing is getting better or not. So this is kinda bold of me, but I want to appeal to the tags here lol
So if anyone could check my stories out, I'd be really glad! owo/ I've been working on them for quite a while now and I'm pretty confident it's at least cute enough to warrant some of your time! (PLEASE I AM SO DESPERATE)
(This blog also contains fanfic and miscellanous drabbles/short stories if you'd like to take a look at them too! I have a tags page on the right for that.)
“i fucking hate this body…i just wish i could be reborn or something. like if i c ould just ufkcin g get rid of it i’m so fucking ti red of it it’s so fucking disgusting holy shit” Displayed on the monitor’s bright screen, were those words.
And as if challenging the monitor’s own brightness, a person that was already much brighter than it applied a lipstick completely coated with glitter on their own lips as they read the words on the screen. After spreading it as best as they could, they then smiled.
Their new stage had been found.
“no one will ever fukcin notice me ill just fucking die alone right here there’s no fucking use of all this love and friendship bullshit fixing everything if you don’t even have friends or anyone that loves you ahahaha” Somewhere out there, a person typed out those words after their many failed attempts to cry. Seeing that no water would come out of their eyes, they went to their computer, put the keyboard on their lap, and fiercely hit a key for every tear that should have fallen there. And then, they constructed that sentence.
“…What a sad person!” Then said a person that had seen that message. After reading the message, they stood straight up and stretched, as if getting ready to go somewhere. “Worry not, little one, for I have noticed you! I’ll definitely help you find your own shine!” They then pumped their arms and left their house, twirling as they let the door close without any care, not even locking it.
As they walked down the street, the public couldn’t help but stare, perplexed by the amount of beauty that person hand. Their beauty was like that of a deity, but their walk was what called the most attention.
…If their beauty was like a deity, then their walk was as if said deity didn’t know they were in the realms of the lower ones. Each step looked as if it was carefully calculated to provide statuesque glamour, but it was not pulled off like that; it was with a breezy smile, a walk that seemed so simple, like any person could do it. A casual person, who held that limitless beauty as if it was something that everyone had in their lives.
In the minds of everyone who stared, of everyone who felt that warm aura around that person, of everyone who felt tempted to ask for their number, not for anything, but just to brag that they had such a person in their contact list---the same words came to mind about them. “Perfect”, “Flawless”… And yet, even so, they felt like such common words wasn’t good enough to describe that person.
But it was too bad. Because that person did not stop for them to think about a word that was up to their level. As if a miracle that could only happen once every god knows how many years had been wasted, every person felt disappointment. A disappointment that would linger in their minds and hearts for who knows how much time—a day, a month, a year, or maybe even their entire life. And even then, even though that disappointment would plague them and prey on them, all of them…every single one of them…thought that just that brief glance was more than worth it.
How beautiful.
“Ding-dong!” The incredibly gorgeous person said to themselves as they rung a doorbell. They had finally finished walking around the town and arrived at their destination, leaving all kinds of lovely, honey-filled destruction in their path. And their stop was an incredibly common-looking house, with nothing much to note. Perhaps it had hidden its own details out of shame for standing among someone much better than it.
“Hello?” Said the boy that answered the door. His face went through so many emotions in such little time. First of all, annoyance, for having to get up from his chair and leave his computer to answer the door; then following it right up, confusion as to who would be visiting his house right now; and then, lastly, a fine blend made by mixing up surprise, wonder, happiness, satisfaction, and embarrassment. What was left of the poor boy after all that was only a shell, with which you could fill with many wonderful things, and wonderful things were not lacking in his sight right now.
“I’m sorry for coming at such a time, but may I come in?” The stupendously cute person asked the boy, in a small pleading tone. To deny a request like that, someone would have to be a monster, and even then, that monster would be turned into an angel from one touch of that person’s hand. What a good thing it was, though, since it was at that moment that they took the boy’s hand with not one, but BOTH of their hands—and looked directly into his eyes. “I saw those awful words you said about yourself in your blog, and I’ve come to help you bring out your inner beauty.” They said. And the boy then believed in fate.
“I…of course! I’m so sorry, nothing’s in order and my parents are out so…!“ He quickly made the door open as much as possible, and then started clearing everywhere he could see, making place for his visitor to use as their own personal runway. And so they did, coming in and ungracefully hitting the door behind them, slamming it and making a huge sound. But it’s not like it mattered. The boy’s logic and reason had been thrown out the window a long time ago, letting a stranger just come in his house like that, so it was only to be expected that his other senses would at least have a few problems. The person near him would need much more than just five senses to be completely appreciated.
“Um, I…” The boy looked at his visitor and new idol, and then started fanning himself as he reorganized everything in his head. After all, everything had to be re-set for his new priorities, where his visitor was undeniably at the top. “I’m so sorry, oh…may I ask why you’re here? I mean, how did you notice me? And thank you for coming to me too, I…” And after that, he then stopped talking as he had ran out of breath, and then continued after a few seconds. “I’m sorry, that’s a whole lot for you to answer, just take it easy…!” He said to them, even though that advice was more applicable to him.
“Hmm, okay, let me answer this. I noticed you because you can be beautiful, that’s why! And I came here because I can help you become beautiful. And no need to worry, sweetie.” With answers that explained nothing and a smile that destroyed every single question that could arise from them, they spoke. And then they walked around the boy, circling him, taking note of every single one of his features. All he could do in response was to drink his own emotional blend of honor and nervousness, and fidget as much as possible, even though he tried to stay quiet.
“D-Did you figure something out? Am I good enough?” The boy nervously asked after they had stopped walking and were just staring at him. In response to that, they then walked to his front, grabbed him by his shoulders, and looked deep into his eyes.
…It almost felt like a sin. People appreciated someone’s eyes because of how they were beautiful, how they hid so many things sometimes, how you could find out all of that by focusing on them. And he really wanted to do that. He treasured a person’s eyes as much as any other person out there. But not appreciating the one in front of him in full, their entire body, and then trying to pretend there was something even more beautiful? Preposterous. He couldn’t do that.
But the magnificently charming person in front of him made him look at them in the eye, no matter how much of a sin it was to him.
“Of course you’re good enough. Everyone is.” They said, their words coming out of their mouth and enveloping the boy in a warm, fuzzy blanket, letting him rest on an endless and graciously cold space, illuminated by the stars. “I’ll start taking your measures now, so I can get an outfit that’ll be as beautiful as you. Okay?” In accordance to that, the boy just smiled, closed his eyes, and nodded happily as the person in front of him took out measuring tape from somewhere.
They then took the measuring tape and carefully wrapped it around the boy’s neck. And then they pulled, with incredible strength. The boy, with his eyes closed and his body uncaring, accepted it completely. Or perhaps he simply never even took note that he was being strangled at all.
But one way or another, he nearly fell to the ground, until his body was caught by his own murderer.
What a delightful way to die.
--
“Don’t worry, okay? Your smile is lovely, so all we need to do is fix this mark here…”
They applied powder to his neck. The mark was visible no longer.
“I don’t really like asphyxiation…the word is rather ugly, and it leaves your eyes all weird. It doesn’t show their entire shine. That’s my fault for barely bringing anything, though, oops~”
Rattling sounds. Metallic things were being moved around for a bit as they hummed. And then, with a “it’s here!”, they took it.
It was silent for a bit, until the sound of cutting meat was heard. And then, after another moment of silence, that same sound was heard.
“Phew, that took a bit of work. Anyway, now to replace them…”
More sounds of rattling was heard. And after a while, they finally took something out. An eye—or rather, as many would love to call it…an orb.
An orb that definitely looked very much like a real eye. The mystery of how something so convincing and so beautiful existed was only second to the mystery of how the person currently holding it existed.
“You know, I actually came faster than usual since I got so lucky~ I saw your face and then I noticed I already had this one that was just like your eyes! So I rushed over here as soon as possible, hehe.”
The boy was now beautiful.
--
“…No use. It’s just as expected; he’s dead.” A police officer said as she examined the body of the boy dressed in fabulous clothes. With a smile on his face and a literally killer pose, he looked incredibly uncanny, like something that was supposed to be in the cover of a magazine. But that just made her want to puke.
“Chief, it was…their work again, right?” Another police officer approached her and commented, visibly uncomfortable looking at the body. His superior then walked to the computer in the room, looked intently at the screen, and then used the computer’s mouse to scroll down. Her face was completely stoic as she did so, but it was easy to notice that she scrolled quicker with each passing second, obviously furious as she did. She eventually then stopped looking at the screen and left it.
“Yeah, it’s obvious. Just look at these pictures! Shit, this is too fucked up..!” She practically yelled, controlling herself not to hit her fist on the wall. Her underling then went to the computer and looked at the screen, exploring the page on it.
And what was there was an incredible amount of pictures taken of the victim. They varied, with some being only of the victim in various poses and faces, and ones with an unknown person that posed with them. They all seemed completely normal, even down to the titles. The titles all looked like something a person who was happy with their photo would name it. Silly things like “selfie :3”, “heyyy there ;)”, happy things like “having lots of fun” or “with the most beautiful person in the world <3”. Every single one of them. Even though they had no place there.
The male police officer said nothing, only biting down on his lip. He didn’t have the courage to say anything right now—he was sure that whatever anger he was feeling wasn’t going to compare to his boss’.
“How many times has it been, dammit…We don’t have a single clue. Not one. We don’t even have a name for this person—if they’re even just one person!” The female police officer continued yelling. “We don’t know how they find them, we don’t know why they do this, we don’t know who they are!”
And out there, somewhere, someone, something, or maybe various somethings giggled. And they quietly answered all of those questions, even though no one would be able to hear and learn from these answers.
“Negative emotions can turn you into the ugliest person in the world. It’s only natural that the most beautiful would find the ugliest. It is fate.”
“Why? To turn them beautiful, of course. Or rather, to make them realize it. Get it through that thick head of them, even if you have to empty it first. Positivity is good, and having friends like you is even better!”
“Questions like this always make someone shy. So please watch out for them. But if you must know who I am, then it’s…the most beautiful person in the world.”
WARNING: This story about Raz is like 24080 words long. That's....a lot more than what I usually post. If you're like me and love to complete stuff in one sitting, give it a second thought. Though then again I think most people can finish this pretty quickly lol.
A/N(read only the fourth paragraph if you’d like to skip this):
Ah, hello everyone! This is Lethal! I think this is the first time I put a proper author’s note into one of my works, lol. The reason for that is that while this one is a work that is featured on the world of Raz and his friends, it is also one that I’d have difficulty putting together with the usual atmosphere of the previous works.
Raz and my other OCs were all created without much thought; Raz and Erik themselves were just characters that I made on the spot because I felt like it and wanted to write fluff. In fact, my first work with them in it was going to be something completely different. The narration from Raz at the start was actually going to be used seriously, but then in the end I thought “Doesn’t this sound corny?!” and then Erik, scolding Raz for it, happened, lol
So therefore, I wouldn’t say I’ve ever really taken a dive at the kinds of people that my characters are, and I always feared changing them too much if I tried to explore new things. And most of all, I wanted to keep up a happy-go-lucky feeling for the works involving Raz and his friends, so being excessive was a no-no. I still maintain this belief.
The following work contains the same characters from Raz and his friends, and shows a bit of backstory regarding them, specifically Raz, as this is a first-person work. When I thought about this work before writing it, I wondered if it wasn’t a bit too different from my other works. And not only that, I never really took the time to reread them, so I always fear that I’m going off-track somehow.
So I’d like to leave this note to tell you all that this could be considered a sort of “half-canon” addition to the world of Raz and his friends. “If I were to rebuild them from the ground up, I’d probably include this”, that sorta thing. If this work is in tune with your image of Raz, then by all means accept it into your interpretation of him. If this work is not in tune with it, then feel free to ignore it and consider it “non-canon”. But most of all I’d like to request you all to take a good look at it before making your judgment. Only that would already make me and my characters incredibly happy.
Did I sound professional with all that babble? Does anyone even read this? I sure hope so lol. Either way, I’m sorry for the long note, but please take all this to heart if possible! Please enjoy it!
When you are left alone, you realize how small your world truly is.
When two people are together, their small worlds combine and become one bigger world. These two always think that this world is fragile, and forget to nurture their own, individual worlds.
That was the conclusion I came to when Erik was selected as a member of the student council.
“I still can’t believe I got roped into this…” Erik told me as we made our way back home. The decision of the class was practically unanimous; with his incredible grades and a personality that never really planned on backing down, he was one of the ideal candidates, that was for sure. If I didn’t know he’d probably hit me for it, I’d have voted for him, too.
“Well, it’s a sign that everyone thinks you’re reliable, right? So doesn’t it have a good side too?” I tried to cheer him up, but that didn’t really seem to work on anything, as he only sighed and glared at me.
“If I dumped a ton of rocks at your house and told you to break them by yourself because ‘you’re so strong and cool!’, would you actually do it without complaining?” He proposed the metaphor to me, but…it felt almost completely senseless.
“Huh? But why would I need to break rocks for you?” I asked him, and he only sighed again. “You’re missing the point. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, that doesn’t really make it any better.” He said to me, kicking a small rock on the sidewalk as he went.
“That’s true, sorry.” I admitted, a little bit downcast, looking at the floor. “But when you get all tired and stuff from all that, I’ll let you play all my games. And I’ll get more snacks, too.” I said to him, not lifting my head once as I did. I really didn’t know what kind of face I had. But even if it was a straight and calm face…I didn’t want him to witness it. I’m sure whatever face he could imagine me making would be more wonderful than the one I had.
“You don’t really have to, y’know…” He said, and I wondered if he was embarrassed. …Probably not, as it’s only me, but I’d still like to think he was. “But thanks. While I’m there I’ll help you study, too.” When I heard the word study, my head instantly raised itself in protest to the word. And I’m glad I did, as at the moment, I got to witness his smile.
“No studying, thank you very much!” I shook my head as quickly as I could, both to recompose myself and to deny the activity of studying vehemently. “And since you’re helping out at the class where I study, the least I could do is reward you a bit.”
“Well, when you put it that way, I guess it does sound fair.” He said, and then put a hand to his chin, deep in thought. “…If everyone in our class was like that, I’d have a mountain of sweets and games by now. Maybe I’ll make it a rule and put the idea out there, so I can start getting rich and become the richest kid in existence…” Even though from afar he’d have looked like a calm and collected child thinking about something, from the distance, I could tell he was just dozing off and thinking about a pile of sweets or something of the like. Which was unforgivable.
“No fair! I was the one who suggested rewarding you in sweets and games first, so I wanna have the loyalties and get at least a part of it!” I objected to his idea, shooting it right out of his head, bringing him back to reality.
“It’s called royalties, y’know.” He pointed it to me with a monotone voice.
“Royalties, loyalties, same thing. I want them all.” I ignored his correction and crossed my arms, making sure to convey that I was visibly upset he would get all that and not share anything.
“You said you wanted only a part of it.” …But I was, once again, replied to with a completely monotone reminder.
“Nevermind, I take it back. I’m not sharing anything with you. I’m going to vote against your tyranny on the next election, and I’ll make sure your evil ways are corrected.” I puffed my cheeks as I said this. After all, I had to make sure he knew that I was being completely serious about this. My trust had been completely betrayed, and appropriate punishment had to be dealt to the infidel.
“What, hey! You promised! They always say on TV that snacks are better when they’re shared with someone else!” He ran and stopped right in front of me, trying to block my path. But I made sure to close my eyes and keep walking.
“You should’ve thought of that while you were off daydreaming about your own snacks. You’d have a lot more than me, anyway! Quacktity over quality.” I said to him as I kept walking, and before he went back to keeping up with my pace, he yelled out:
“It’s QUANTITY, not QUACKTITY!”
The next day.
“Actually, the student council will have representatives from each class and all that, but actually another election to see who will actually rule everything. So I’ll probably miss the first few parts of today’s class, so note it down for me.” He told me before leaving to the student council room, leaving only me in my seat at our class.
That’s when I came to the conclusion that my world was small.
I had absolutely no one in our class to talk to. Not one friend. Just looking around at the class and all the noise in it was already enough to make me feel off, to the point that I had to get out of the class and into the hallway. I’d have to wait until the teacher got there, too, and the teacher for today was known for being late.
While outside in the hallway, having nothing to do, I naturally observed the place. All the people that passed by, the ones that walked into the classroom, the ones that sometimes went out…but one of the people stuck out to me the most. A dove boy who kept walking back and forth between the halls, seeming incredibly nervous, as he’d sometimes leave feathers around.
…In the end, even though it was not my nature, when he stopped near my classroom again and seemed to be staring at me(although it was probably really the door), I ended up getting nervous and asking him just to relieve the pressure.
“Um…are you lost?” He practically jumped as soon as he noticed I was talking to him, which was slightly good for me, since it reminded me that I wasn’t the only scared one here. After stopping for the briefest of seconds and regaining his calm, he answered me properly.
“Well, it’s just that I’m actually a new student, but I missed the first week of classes since I just moved in…” He told me, fidgeting as he did. “If you know which class you’re in, I can help you find it…” I said to him, scratching my cheek a bit. I didn’t really know if I should do this or just leave him to a teacher or something of the like, but soon enough, most of them would be in classes, and he had already missed the entire first week. Another day would add on even more work for him.
“Oh, thanks! But, er, I know my grade is in this hallway, I just don’t know which class, so…” He said to me. All the classrooms in this hallway were the same, so if that was the case, all they had to do was search for the one classroom that had one seat extra.
“Ah, if that’s the case, then we just gotta get to the one classroom here that has one seat more than it should.” I suggested to him, and he visibly seemed uncomfortable. Weakly, he tried to reply to what I said.
“Actually, um, I did kind of try that…I counted how many seats there were, and the amount of people, but…” Even though he didn’t finish the sentence completely, I knew what he meant. It was impossible to really know because all the students weren’t in the class yet, and often students from other classes visited each other and used empty seats while the others didn’t arrive. But then…
“Couldn’t you just ask them, then?” I suggested as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and that’s when he started sweating bullets. It’s then that I understood the problem he was having.
…I was also incredibly terrible at dealing with other people, so I could imagine how it’d feel to go out to another classroom, completely crowded with strangers, and bother someone for information. In which case, there was always the chance they wouldn’t know. The most efficient way would be to yell and ask everyone in the class, and someone that knew would tell you the answer. However, then you’d be the center of the whole class’ attention, and if you ended up studying in that class, the students would always remember how you’re the late, dorky one who missed an entire week and couldn’t even find their class by themselves.
Because I could imagine how it felt like, I wanted to avoid it.
Because I could imagine how it felt like, I wanted to help him.
I gulped.
“If you want…” I said, in a very, very low tone. The dove boy noticed that I had said something, but as he couldn’t hear it, he asked me to repeat it. “I-if you want, I can go with you and…ask around the classes…” I had kicked the words out from my mouth like an angry parent with his good-for-nothing kids. Thankfully, my good-for-nothing words actually served for something, as the face of the boy in front of me actually brightened up very quickly.
“Oh, if you could, that’d be great! Thank you very much!” He put his hands together, and seeing that, I became a little bit more relieved. Knowing that I was doing it as a favor for someone, I felt completely invincible…! All I had to do was go up to the front of the classroom and ask a question, after all, no big deal!
…or so I thought, as I stood in front of the blackboard, practically frozen. From outside the class, the boy was cheering me on, giving me a thumbs up. For this kind of thing, I’d rather have an entire cheerleading team…!
I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. A few people were already staring at me, so no more going back after this.
“E-excuse me, everyone! I’d like to know if there are any leftover seats left from students who didn’t show up during the first week!” I shouted out for all to hear, my voice echoing just a little bit across the classroom, cutting through the idle chatter of many of the students. I gave myself a high-five for only stuttering once, and then waited for anyone to reply.
“Uhhh…” One of the students in the classroom took a while looking around, put their hand to their chin, and then replied to me. “Nope! I think you got the wrong class.”
“Oh, um, thank you then…” I muttered out and dashed out of the classroom, my heart beating.
Good things: I dealt with this by myself!
Bad things: I had to do it again.
As the boy I was helping looked at me with a pitiful face, I made sure to try and seem at least a little bit more confident and tried to smile. Emphasis on “tried”. But upon seeing it, he let out a giggle, so I high-fived myself once again.
“Okay, now we still have to check on classes C and D…” I gulped as I got near the door to class C, opened it, and followed the same process. With the exact same stuttering, too. But the person who answered me at least gave me a little smile, so I felt a bit better. And then, on class D…
“E-excuse me, everyone!” I called out, but the noise in the classroom was too much, and no one bothered to pay attention to me. I nervously looked at the door, where the other boy just had his head peeking out, trying to cheer me on by waving one of his arms. Seeing that, I took a deep breath.
“E-EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE!”
…And put some soul into it. Which was probably a pretty bad idea, as everyone who looked at me seemed pretty annoyed.
“O-oh, sorry, um. I just wanted to know if there were any leftover seats in this class, possibly from a student who didn’t show up during the first week…” I tried to shrink behind the teacher’s desk, but it didn’t really work out. One of the students replied to me, though.
“Nope, everyone showed up during the first week. Wrong class.” They said to me, and as I muttered a small, almost inaudible “thank you” and turned to leave, he spoke. “Next time, try calling people before yelling at them, too! Geez.”
…I’m pretty sure I shrunk to the size of a pebble at that moment. But as soon as I was out of the classroom, I puffed up, upset at all the wrong things with that person.
“Hmph, I did call out to you y’know, maybe if you were actually paying attention and waiting for your teacher like good students you would have noticed that, I mean like I barely even yelled sure my vocal chords are kinda strong but still I---“ As I was deep in thought criticizing the student, though, the boy I was helping called me back to reality.
“Um…in the end, I’m not in any classes, then?” He asked me, pleading for help. He’d miss even more lessons and have to get things sorted out with the school’s staff if he didn’t have a place. But…
“Well, are you sure you’re in this grade?” The boy did look around the same age as me, but he could always have gotten it mistaken.
But that’s when it hit me: there was one place I had left unchecked.
“…Um, actually, let’s take a look in my class. I don’t remember any empty seats, but…it wouldn’t hurt to check, after all this.” Just as I said that, the bell for the start of the classes started ringing. Like it or not, this would be my last try, seeing that staying out in the hallways during class could be dangerous, even if you had an excuse and the teacher wasn’t there. Students are always quick to cut class, so more often than not, the only thing that’ll allow you to roam around the hallways is to have a permit from the teacher or to be a member of the student council.
As I entered the class with the boy, I witnessed the chaos again. Even compared to the other classes, this one was the noisiest. I definitely did not want to have to yell here, especially since they’d hold it against me for the rest of the year…Brr. But then I noticed that there was something off in one of the desks.
“Um, excuse me…” I went up to a student that was sitting beside an empty desk, with only a bag on the chair. “Where’s the person that usually sits here?” I asked them, and as soon as they turned to look at me, I really wished I hadn’t.
“Huh? You need something?” I wasn’t really paying much attention when I called out to them at first, but the boy, a tiger whose name I don’t remember(probably not named Fluffes though), was almost reaching my height. While he was sitting. And he looked kinda angry when replying. But I decided to bet on the fact that maybe it was just his natural face and talked to him, when I noticed that my other friend had taken to hiding behind me like I was an adult. …Which was pretty ineffective, considering he was only shorter than me by a bit, and I was already pretty short.
“Um…I mean, it’s just that this guy here—” I promptly pulled the boy from behind my back and put him in front of me just in case, which caused him to look at me as if I were the reincarnated version of Judas. “—didn’t show up to the first week of school, and I was wondering if we had an empty seat…and I mean, class already technically started, so everyone is supposed to be here, b-but there’s a seat with just a bag in it!” As soon as I realized I was stuttering, my mind became a mess and I just started speaking without any reason to it. “F-f-funny huh—“ I was about to say, but thankfully, I got cut off before I ended up saying or doing anything stupid.
“Oh, that’s mine. I thought no one was gonna take it, so…” He removed the bag from the seat and then put it on his chair, and then proceeded to gesture towards the seat with his hands, inviting the dove boy to sit. “Here you go. Nice to meet you, by the way.” He said, and winked at him. Causing him to react by being flustered and thanking him really quietly.
“Ah, thank you…I ended up only arriving at this town yesterday, so I missed the first week. But anyway, thank you both!” He said, and as I high-fived myself around ten more times for helping someone out consistently, responsibly and cooly, he started speaking again.
“Oh, by the way, since we’re in the same class…I’m William.” William introduced himself to me, and then just kind of waited in expectation for me to do the same. Then, I finally replied.
“I’m Raz and, uh…I sit over there. Nice to meet you?” I put out the words in a messy fashion and pointed to my desk, which was rather far away from his seat. Before I could say anything else, though, the teacher arrived, and hopefully William didn’t think it was too rude when I ran back to my desk so I didn’t get scolded.
Two days later.
William had already found his own group of friends, something that I completely overlooked, as I was mostly hanging out with Erik during that time. We never really went past a “good morning” greeting and a small smile when we passed each other during that time.
Erik had ended up having to deal with some student council work during the day, so during the breaks and the like, I ended up completely alone.
…But now I had another friend to be with.
“…Um, you gonna have lunch?” I went up to William and asked him, and he turned around to answer me.
“Oh, yeah! There’s usually these benches near the courtyard, so I always have lunch there.” He replied, and then, carrying a small plastic bag, started walking, stopping only for a split second to gesture at me to come with him using his head.
As soon as we got there, though, I realized that there were a bunch of classmates that I didn’t really know or talk with. And William just sat there among them, and I did the same, sitting beside him. None of his friends seemed to really notice me, though, as their attention was already automatically focused on William and the others, talking and laughing as they ate.
“Doesn’t the homework they gave us today look way too hard?” I said.
“Hey, what’s your favorite kind of videogames?” I said.
“Did you have good grades on your previous year?” I said.
“Isn’t Math just the worst?” I said.
And as these words escaped my mouth, they got weaker and weaker, eventually being swallowed up by the void. I got quieter and quieter as they talked and my words didn’t reach them.
What did I want to do?
I wanted to yell.
But what I wanted at first, wasn’t it to be friends?
So I didn’t yell. Because if I yelled, they would hate me.
I wanted to become friends with them, so obviously I couldn’t yell. I’d have to be friendly, and I’d have to be noticed for my good qualities. So then, I’d just have to keep trying.
And the next day.
“Isn’t it kind of unfair for the teacher to call us lazy when he’s always late?”
Then the other.
“I heard we’ll get to do experiments in chemistry, you think we’ll get to blow something up?”
It kept going.
“What kinda stuff do you watch?”
At some point, I stopped talking to Erik during breaks and the like, and started sneaking out to my place on that bench. After all, Erik wasn’t with me all the time, and he gave me up for student council work. But I’d show William and the others that I’d give other things up for them. I probably wasn’t being noticed because I wasn’t being good enough for them, and when you think about it, this kind of stuff always takes time to develop, so I just had to keep persisting.
I kept and defended my place in the bench—my fortress—and dedicated myself to it. I kept listening to the others talking, and sometimes I’d try to say something, to no avail.
But then it started stinging.
Every time I wasn’t heard, it stung a lot, for some reason. I already felt some kind of pain before, sure, but for some reason, that time it was stronger than usual. Even though I was dedicating myself completely to it, all it did was hurt more.
But I resisted the pain as faithfully as I could, for as many days as possible…until that day.
On that day, everything progressed much like usual, with me on the bench, listening and sometimes trying to talk while the others talked among themselves. But, all of a sudden…
I started crying.
I hadn’t even noticed it. All I knew was that my vision was getting blurry, and the sounds I kept making with the snot coming out of my nose was getting in the way of hearing the conversation with my friends. A teacher who was passing by noticed me crying.
“Hey, you’re Raz, aren’t you? What’s the matter?” They kneeled down to my level and tried to make me look at them. But it took me a while to do that, since what I noticed first was that my friends had finally noticed me.
“Oh, it’s nothing, really.” I said as I tried to wipe the tears and snot away with my hand, finally looking back at the teacher. And I thought it was going to end at that, but the teacher took one look at my friends, and then back at me, and got up.
“Raz, can you come with me for a bit?” They asked me. I didn’t really want to go in case I missed something, but…
“Um, sure…” I followed the teacher all the way to a corner where no one could see us, and then they squatted and got down to my level again, looking at me in the eye.
“Raz, can you tell me why you’re crying now? Those guys won’t do anything to you, I promise.” They put a hand on my shoulder, and then tried to smile a bit. “Can you tell me? What happened?” They insisted on trying to get “what happened” out of me, but I really had no way to explain it. Nothing had really happened to me.
“I…don’t know…” I blurted out amidst all the tears and the pressure from the teacher, and seeing that, they sighed a bit and got up, clearly disappointed that I wasn’t “telling the truth”.
“Well, that’s fine. For now, go to the bathroom and wash your face. I’ll take care of everything else, okay?” They put a hand on my head and petted it a bit, and then left. By the time I was done washing my face, the break was already over and it was about time for classes to start again, so I ended up not going back to my friends.
But I didn’t really worry about it, since I’d just visit them again during tomorrow’s break, like always.
…Or so I thought at the time.
When I was making my way to the courtyard, following the same path as William, I noticed that he was walking a bit faster than usual, sometimes turning his head and looking at me, since I was following him. I thought that he had finally really started noticing me, since before, his pace was always already faster than mine and I always struggled a bit to keep up, and he kept going without me. But now, he kept checking on me, so I was glad.
And when I finally arrived at the courtyard too, they all seemed to notice me! Their eyes were all focused on me, which was incredibly different than usual. So I sat down with an accomplished smile and was about to open my mouth and finally say something and get to talk and laugh with them, but…
“What are you doing here?!” One of them spoke, practically yelling at me.
It seemed like I was beaten to it. And I didn’t really know what to make of that question, or how to reply to it, either.
“Um…I’m here to be with you guys, like always…” I tried to speak out a bit louder, to make sure they’d hear me now unlike before, but it looked like that was taken as me being rude to them. Their faces all got angrier and scarier.
“Get some shame, you liar! I don’t know what you have against us, but just leave us alone!” Another one said to me, and I didn’t manage to come up with an answer to it. Just the fact that they were talking to me for the first time was enough to cause me to get a bit trippy with my words, but combine that with their yelling and things that I didn’t understand and I was just sitting there, staring at them and shaking a bit.
“No, I—“ I wanted to say that I didn’t know anything, but I got interrupted by William, out of all people, who yelled.
“Just go away!” The boy which I helped during his first day here, and which I also considered a friend, said.
And at the moment, I thought that I really should go away and give it up. But my legs wouldn’t move, due to some kind of cursed reason. It was because, deep down, I…
Did not want to leave.
But that didn’t seem to be a problem for them, as, after a few seconds passed with them waiting for me to go away and me not getting up, they got up and dragged me by the collar to a small alley on the outside of the school, where no one could really see anything.
“Hey, do you want to know what your framing did to us? I mean, I’m sure you’ll be satisfied once you do, right?” One of them said to me after they released me, and started rolling down their sleeves. On their arms were marks of beatings…and fairly recent ones.
“They took away all of my videogames, and when I tried to argue and get them back, they pushed me and I got this bump, from falling down.” Another one showed their wound to me. And, one by one, they kept going.
“Mine was on the butt. I’m not going to show you, obviously. But I don’t even remember how long they spent with me. My parents took turns beating it, over and over, until they thought that I had learned my ‘lesson’.”
“They told my siblings to do whatever they wanted with me as punishment, and if I tried to do anything back to them, I’d get a beating. So my siblings either stole or destroyed a bunch of my stuff, or they ate all my snacks.”
“When I tried to argue that it wasn’t me, they got angry at me. And then, whenever I tried to speak, my parents told me that ‘Liars shouldn’t open their mouths’ and threatened to go away, since no one wanted liars with them.”
“Mine took everything fun away from my room and locked me up in there. They told me to not speaking or anything of the like, since it’d only make it worse for me. Since I couldn’t speak, they forgot about me, and I ended up not eating dinner.” And their stories finished with William, who was the last to speak. The taller ones then held me up against the wall. “All this just because you thought it would be fun!”
From what they were saying, a picture of what actually happened was already starting to form in my head. But because I didn’t know what to say, and because I didn’t want to accept that this happened to begin with, I just kept quiet. What that did, however, was earn me an opportunity to get thrown to the ground and then kicked on the stomach.
“I don’t know what’s your deal, but you know, YOU should get punished. Even if it’s wrong, we already got punished ourselves, right?” One of them said, and the others all agreed with him. “Then it’s fine if we just do the same.” He said as I was trying to get up, but a punch to the head quickly made me go back down.
“…I’ll go easy on you.” William said as he approached me, and then just lightly put his foot on top of me. However, he then started slightly applying force, it getting stronger with each passing moment. “And then I’ll start making it get worse, just like my hunger that day…!” I started crying as he did that to me, and it became incredibly hard to breathe. But I got lucky, since…
“Back off from him right now!” A voice that I knew all too well resounded through the alley, and Erik showed up running.
“He was the one who—“ William tried to argue with his foot still on me, but then Erik dashed up to him and pushed him away, making him fall to the ground. “Before you try anything with me or him, I hope you remember I’m from the student council. You won’t get away with it if you try anything else. And also…” He examined the faces of the other students, as if memorizing them for later. “If you hurt him one more time, I’ll FUCKING KILL ALL OF YOU MYSELF!” He yelled out at them, and even though he was only one boy against another six, they all seemed to cower a bit when they heard it. As if not knowing what to do, they all just stood there, quiet.
“NOW SCRAM!” The black jaguar boy yelled once more, and after that, my friends got up and left as soon as they could. At first they started running, but once they noticed how suspicious it probably looked, they adjusted to walking. After they were all gone from sight, Erik helped me up.
“You’re all hurt…” He said, looking at all the marks I had. “Come on, let’s go to the infirmary.” I nodded in agreement, my face looking down as I didn’t really know how to react to this. But when I tried to take a step forward, I almost fell. But thankfully, I was caught by him just before it, with him practically hugging me.
“If you can’t walk, I’ll help you.” He said, taking my arm and putting it around him. We silently walked step by step, incredibly slowly, with him being the only one talking. “It’d be better if I could carry you, wouldn’t it? But…well, let’s leave that for next time. Try not to eat too many sweets by then, alright?” He said, but silence continued for a little bit more. As we finally got to the courtyard, some people were staring, and another even walked up to us.
“What happened to him? Do you need help?” One of the other students asked us as we walked.
“It was a problem with a few other students. I’m taking him to the infirmary right now, but if you could go ahead and ask them to prepare a bed for him to rest, that’d be great.” He replied to the other, and gave them a small smile. Seeing that, they nodded and went off running.
Once the other student was gone, Erik suddenly almost jumped as he had a realization and then continued off what he was saying before. “…O-oh, by the way, not like I want a next time to happen. I definitely won’t let it, okay?” He reassured me, and after that, there was only silence. It was easy to tell that he wasn’t exactly sure of what to say in this situation either, but he was trying his best. So…
“I think…I’m not the one who should be concerned with eating too many sweets.” I muttered, surprising him for a bit. “I’m not the one with the terrible mind-controlling sweet tooth, after all.” I finally raised my head a bit and tried to smile, and even though I’m sure it was an awkward, broken one, he still smiled too.
After that, once I got to the infirmary, he was there with me while the nurse took care of me the whole time, even missing his class…partially.
“Um, Erik?” I asked him as he sat beside my bed, watching over me. Then, as if that was the moment he was waiting for, he jumped with readiness and got closer to me.
“Yeah?” He asked, expectantly. His eyes were practically glimmering with a weird mix of concern, anxiety and expectation.
“Do you have anyone to get the notes from today’s class with?” I asked. And as soon as I did, his expression turned surprised, and then solemn as it finally hit him. In the heat of the moment, he actually had completely forgotten that we actually still had classes.
“Er…um…” He fidgeted as he tried to think of a way out for this, but then I tried reassuring him back.
“You should go. Not good for the student council president to be missing classes, right?” I told him, and after a brief moment of consideration, he took the chance and got up.
“Well, I’ll go to class, but you have to promise you’ll wait here until I come back. Don’t try going home by yourself.” He said, as if already scolding me for something I would definitely do in the future. Unfortunately for me, he was actually correct, but I still nodded and promised.
“Sure.” And as soon as I gave my okay, he dashed out of the infirmary and directly to the classroom.
While I waited for Erik to come back, the time spent in the infirmary managed to feel much longer than when I was at class. And that was an accomplishment for me. And while laying down in the bed there…my mind naturally went to the issue of what happened today.
…I really wanted them to accept me. I really got off on the right start during the second week of school by meeting William and doing him a favor, so I thought he really was going to be my friend. But in the end, I really was useless without Erik beside me. I couldn’t make friends with anyone else, I couldn’t get good grades without him helping me, and most of all, I couldn’t even…protect myself without him…
But, even if I were to die trying to avoid it, I…
Didn’t want my world to be so small.
I wanted to meet William and the others again. And try to explain myself, and try to become friends again. I didn’t want to just give up like that. I couldn’t just accept my own uselessness, my own inability to express anything.
I…
Would try again.
As soon as I managed to reach that realization, as if something that was stopping its path was finally removed, my mental journey came to an end and I got to sleep. The Raz of today had already fulfilled his duty. And then…I bet it all on the Raz of tomorrow, entrusting my feelings and expectations to him.
When I woke up, the world was upside down. And for some reason, my body also felt like it was hanging upside down.
“H-help…!” A voice that resembled Erik’s cried out, and soon I saw the curtains near my bed in the infirmary being opened, with someone’s legs coming closer. Then, I felt that someone push me back up, and my vision of the world went back to normal. I realized that I was on Erik’s back, and then held onto his neck as fast as I could so I didn’t go back down.
“Frankly! Put the boy down, there’s no way you can carry him like that!” I then noticed that the one who came just now and helped me back up on Erik was the nurse. Hearing what she said, he quickly let me back down, which caused me to almost fall, but thankfully the nurse also helped me stabilize myself.
“S-sorry…” Erik fidgeted as he apologized. “It’s just that he was still sleeping, so I thought it was better to carry him home…” He looked away as he admitted to his crime, and hearing that, the raccoon nurse only sighed.
“It’s fine to think like that, but that’s the duty of an adult, you know? Either way, since now you’re both awake—one from his sleep, and another from his dreams—please go walking back home, and don’t try anything like that again.” Erik looked down as the nurse scolded him and then went back to her desk, but his attention was then shifted to me once she was there.
“Well…good morning, I guess. Sorry for that.” He scratched his cheek as he said that.
“Good morning to you too. You could have just woken me up, I wouldn’t have minded it…” I reminded him of that, looking a bit down. In the end, I felt like it was my fault, since he was doing it for me.
“S-sorry. I know.” He said to me, still scratching his cheek. In the end, it made us both feel worse, since it was like I had rubbed salt on his wound. He then redirected the topic to something more important, though. “Anyway, can you walk normally? You almost fell just now…” He pointed out, examining my body with his eyes.
“Oh, it’s fine, I can walk. I was just kind of taken by surprise since I had just woken up, that’s all.” I said, and started to walk on my own. Seeing that, Erik followed.
“Well, if you say so…” He said, and our path back home was mostly in silence for a while. Once we were out of school grounds, though, he started speaking again. “Hey, Raz….at least for tomorrow, stay near me, okay? We can go talk to one of the teachers about today later.” As soon as he said that, warning signs started popping up in my head. If he was with me tomorrow, then that already foiled my plans.
“Um, don’t worry, I can do that by myself. I don’t really think there’s a need for coming with me, either…” I said that only with a wishy-washy tone, but Erik took it rather seriously, concern being completely apparent on his face.
“It’s still better to be safe than sorry, right?” He reminded me, and then, after a bit of silence, he continued off of that. “And, um…if you don’t really want me near you, I promise I won’t bother. I’ll just follow you from a distance.” As calm as he tried to sound as he said that, it was easy to know that he had taken what I said the wrong way and was mostly hurt. …Seeing that, I couldn’t help but feel even more selfish.
“Ah, no, no, it’s not like that! I just thought it was a bit excessive, really, and I mean, I don’t wanna bother you with keeping watch on me or anything, you have all the student council business and stuff, so—“
“If it’s about the student council, I can just take the paperwork home and do it there. I’m not sure if the others would approve, but I don’t really care.” He interrupted me with a completely serious tone, as if he had already thought of those possibilities and was ready to take them on if necessary. Realizing his tone, though, he changed it to a more casual one. “A-and I mean, if it’s about being a bother, it’s not! Really! And I mean, if I follow you around instead of walking with you, it’d be like being a spy or something! Totally fun!” He frantically waved his hands around as he tried to explain that, and I giggled a bit as he did.
No matter how I thought about it, he really wanted to be with me tomorrow, even if I myself didn’t want it. He had already set himself on that, so trying to convince him of something else wasn’t going to work. So, all I could do was….accept defeat.
“Um, if you say so, then…sure. Sorry for all that.” I scratched my head a bit as I said that, and Erik let out a sigh of relief and put on a smile right after it.
…But even if I had lost the battle, I hadn’t given up on the war yet. All I had to do was figure out a way of leaving Erik behind and going to talk with the others, and that would be easy for me. In comparison to all the other things, it was…definitely the easiest. I wouldn’t let it become an obstacle in my path.
The next day.
Even as we were still making our way to school, Erik kept walking slightly behind me, as if to say he “had my back”. When we got near the school grounds, some people actually stopped to stare at what he was doing, but thankfully, most of them just shrugged it off and kept on with their lives. Apparently, a middle schooler raven with his own personal black jaguar bodyguard wasn’t an exciting enough story for them to pay attention to.
It was when we got to class that everything became tenser.
My friends had arrived only a while after us, and it was easy to tell that they were trying really hard not to pay attention to us. Their faces were practically locked forward, and they never looked backwards to check on us. Erik also seemed to be paying more attention to them during class than to whatever the teacher was saying, which was a rarity in itself. After a while, lunch break finally came.
“You noticed, right? How they kept trying hard to ignore you during class, but that just made it even more obvious.” Erik went to my table as he said that with a smug look on his face, as if looking down on them. “By acknowledging the lack of our existence, they acknowledged our existence. How stupid of them.”
“Is this really the time to be throwing out lines like that?” I said to his line, that sounded like it came right out of one of those “cool and edgy” characters in the shows I watched. Hearing that, though, he only bopped his head to the side in confusion, as it apparently sounded completely normal to him, but then quickly put it back.
“Anyway, since it’s lunch break, let’s go talk to one of the teachers or something. Maybe even the principal. The sooner we get them punished for that, the better.” Erik said, shifting the topic to a more serious one. He seemed extremely determined, but I’d have to deal with that in my own way.
“Um, actually…can we have lunch first? If this ends up taking too much time, we won’t really get to eat, and yesterday I didn’t really manage to eat either, so I’m a bit hungrier than usual…” As I said that, Erik sighed a bit.
“Well, that’s fine, but if you could eat a little bit faster today—” He started speaking, but I interrupted him as soon as possible.
“Actually, today I ended up not bringing any lunch since yesterday I just plopped down on the bed after all that, so I have to go buy it at the school store, actually…” I started fidgeting a bit and sounding guilty as I said it, and when Erik was about to open his mouth to say something, I followed it up. “And um, I kinda want to go to the bathroom now too…” After I finally finished my bombarding of problems, Erik really looked hopeless for a bit, but he quickly recomposed himself.
“If we stop for you to go to the bathroom, take the line at the school store and then wait a bit more for you to finish eating, there’ll practically be no time left…” He put his hand to his chin as he looked at one of the clocks that were positioned on top of the walls. “I’d really rather not miss another class again, but…”
“Well, if you go buy the lunch while I go to the bathroom, it’d save time, right?” I suggested to him while he was still thinking, and it managed to grab his attention, although not in an exactly good way. “I mean, your lunch is bought instead of homemade too, and you’re not gonna skip lunch, right?” I said to him, and while he agreed with it, he didn’t seem particularly happy with it.
“True, but…” I took his hand as he was speaking and put some money on it.
“I really really need to go to the bathroom, so just go to the line and I’ll meet you there! I don’t really wanna hold it in any longer…!” I got off my seat and tried to make myself look as desperate as I could, and it seemed to work, as Erik clenched his fist and tried to change his outward mood back to a normal one.
“Yeah, you go! I’ll wait for you on the line there or just near the school store!” As soon as he said that, I wasted no time in running(or rather, a sorry excuse for running, as I still wasn’t in top shape) out from the classroom. At first I actually made my way towards the bathrooms, but then quickly stopped and changed my pathway. I had to be careful on how I went through the school, as I had to follow a path that wouldn’t let Erik spot me. With a map of the school always present in my head as I walked through it, I managed to make my way to the courtyard, and spotted the bench where all of them were still sitting. I mentally prepared myself and walked there, but as soon as they saw me approaching, they started getting up from it. I sped up my pace, though, as I wasn’t about to let it happen.
“U-um…” When I noticed that I was up close with them, though, I didn’t really manage to say anything. But after reminding myself of what I was there for, and what doing this meant to me, I forced the words to come out of my mouth. “Hello, uh…do you—“ As soon as I started speaking, though, I was interrupted by one of them.
“What do you want NOW? Do you want to get beat up again?” The student aggressively walked forward, but I didn’t allow myself to falter. I still stood up and looked at all of them.
“I just want to talk about what happened…and apologize for it.” I said, with the gentlest tone I could muster. I really just wanted to be friends with them again, and for that, any little bit of detail would help.
“Yeah, you want to apologize for it. So? We still got hurt for it! Something we didn’t do! Because you just felt like grabbing someone and framing them for something that never even happened!” Another student was the one yelling now, and some of the people closer by stopped to look. I didn’t mind it, however, and focused only on the ones in front of me.
“It’s not like that…really. I just ended up crying, and the teacher probably assumed it was your fault since you were near me…I had nothing to do with it.” I looked at all of them, inhaled a bit, and started speaking again. “I promise. I just really want to…be friends again…” I said, putting all my heart into that last part. Even if I felt like I wasn’t being completely true to myself with my previous words, just that last part was true. And it was the only part that really mattered to me. So when I thought of the kinds of faces they would make, the kinds of things they would say, I was filled with so much excitement, anxiety and hope that I didn’t really know how to feel. I had communicated what I felt, so that should have been enough for them.
Or so I thought, as they all still had the same angry look on their faces, unchanging. After a moment of silence between us, one of them finally spoke.
“So? Do you really think that just because you promised, such a half-assed excuse will cut it?” They said, and as I was about to say something, they continued without waiting for me. “Even if we assume that’s true, being near someone like you would just put us in trouble. It’s still the first bimester of school and we already got detention!” After they said that, I took a step back, and my breathing became rattled. I settled it down, though, but in the time I was doing that, another student decided to speak up.
“You’re also creepy as hell too. You kept sitting beside us like, almost everyday, and then you just kept there, not really doing much of anything. It felt awkward as hell to talk between us.” The student shrugged as he said it, and then William was the next one to talk.
“Actually, that was my fault. Since he helped me on my first day, I ended up telling him where we hung out, and he just…followed me here, like a creep.” The dove unforgivingly tore into me with his words, and at that point, I really was convinced I was going to suffocate and run out of breath. But even so, I tried my best to keep breathing normally and look calm.
“I-it’s not like that, I was there because—“ I got interrupted as I tried to speak. And I kept my mouth as shut as possible while the other spoke.
“Listen up, so you can stop bothering us once and for all: It’s. None. Of. Our. Business.” They said, keeping their gaze locked into me, trying to intimidate me. But then they started walking around their friends, stopping every few words to put a hand on their shoulder and have them nod along with whatever it is they were saying. “From day one, you were a creep. You followed us to this place all the time, and then you just kept looking at us. We did our best to just ignore you since it was awkward to just shoo someone off, but then you put on a little play for the teacher and get us punished because you thought it was funny or just plain-out don’t like us.” After they were done saying all that, they stopped in the center of their group of friends, clapped their hands, and looked at me with an incredibly condescending look, as if I was wearing a hat with “Idiot” written on it.
“You’re fucking annoying and we don’t like you, and we SPECIALLY don’t like you after you screwed us over as much as possible. We were never friends, especially considering we never actually talked, and while William was thankful towards you, he found you just as creepy as we did. I’ve got everything down, right?” The student then looked at William, who only nodded along, not even explaining himself to me with his own words. Hearing all that, the only action my brain and body managed to collaborate with was gulping and breathing.
“It’s just that…I…” In one last bout, I did my best to try speaking again. There had to be something that was still salvageable, there’s no way I could get anything that wrong. But even if I had anything left to say, they insisted on not hearing anything of it, as this time, William himself was the one to put me down.
“Look, can’t you just go away and leave us alone? You’re a bother, and that creepy friend of yours probably wants to kill us or something. I bet he’d actually try to do it, considering he talks with people like you.”
As soon as he said that, whatever hope was left inside me died. Whether it was through murder, with these words being the culprit, or through suicide, with these words still being the culprit although indirectly, I didn’t seem to know.
But because it was now dead, it didn’t really matter who killed it. There was no way the thing that killed it could have been punished. So I merely walked away from William and the others, without paying much attention to where I was going, but I made sure to stop and support myself on a wall and regain my breathing.
But regaining my breathing, by itself, wasn’t much of an action. It wasn’t something that could actively distract me. So, my mind started functioning and thinking, despite the fact that I didn’t want it to. And it brought me all kinds of unpleasant thoughts.
The first thought that popped up was, of course, about how foolish I was. And the second thought, and the third thought. Because my strong hopes had now died, my heart and mind were completely free for tyranny and anarchy, and the first thing that all my thoughts did first was kick my hopes’ dead body over and over again.
In the end, because I had hoped so much to regain something that was never there to begin with, I hurt myself. And not only that, I didn’t even manage to gain any relief from it. It wasn’t wrong to go talk to them, but to talk to them and not yell out about how unfair it was for me, and how hard I was trying was just simply foolish. I admitted that to myself, and let it sink in.
If it was just baseless despair, I could just deny it and be done with it. But it was a fact. If I had been true to myself, I’d have gained at least some relief from talking to them. I could have had yelled at them, and made them be on the hurting side. I sacrificed myself and my true feelings for absolutely nothing.
No matter how I thought about all that, it all seemed disgustingly unfair to me. In my head, I just kept repeating steps that led to self-pitying, despairing thoughts. When it started repeating itself so much, I started getting used to it, little by little, and could focus on my surroundings. My body was starting to feel normal again, and I at least looked presentable. And then I remembered.
…Erik was still waiting for me.
I was upset right now, but in the end, the least I could do was to run back to him, as he was my only oasis. My uselessness had just been proved now, so I wouldn’t really try anything else. As soon as I got back to him, all I needed to do was continue being near him for the rest of my life and not really think of anything else. So my legs automatically made their way to the school store, and my face tried to switch back to the way it looked normally, instead of the incredibly sad way I looked just now. Miraculously, I hadn’t cried while hearing all that, so it made it slightly easier.
When I arrived near the school store, I saw Erik there, holding the stuff he bought for us and in general looking incredibly anxious. Once he spotted me among the crowd, though, he ended up practically jumping, and I put up the best apologetic face I could make.
“Geez, what took you so long?” Erik said as soon as I got near him, handing me my lunch. “It’s already pretty late—“ He started saying, but I interrupted him in the middle of it.
“Sorry, it was just totally crammed near the bathroom. It’s my fault.” I said, when I actually hadn’t even come from the direction of the bathroom, but the opposite one. If he asked, I’d have to say there was just a huge crowd and I had to take another path. “But anyway, don’t you think we should go talk to one of the teachers now before the time runs out?” I suggested to him, but then took a brief pause to add more. “...And, of course, since I’m the one who took so long, I can go by myself if you want. That way at least you’ll be able to eat your lunch.” I scratched the back of my head as I said this and looked away.
“Hm…no, don’t worry about it. I’ll go with you!” Erik reassured me and started walking. “If we hurry up, maybe we’ll still have some time left to eat. If worst comes to worst, we can always ask the teachers to let us eat in class or something.” He said, looking back towards me. …After thinking on how blessed he must be if he was wasting time and food with me, I walked with him to the teacher’s lounge, and approached the same one that had tried to “help” me the other day. I didn’t particularly want to, especially since I think I still held a grudge for them deep down, but it was more convenient than explaining the situation to the other teachers.
“Ah, excuse me…” I said as I approached their table, and as soon as they noticed it was me, their face turned brighter and happier despite being angrily working on some papers before I approached them. They probably thought that was comforting me.
“Oh, hello! If it isn’t Raz and Erik! Is something the matter, my dears?” They asked, smiling and putting their hands on their lap. At that moment, Erik gave me a look of wonder, as if asking if he should be the one to speak, but even though I wasn’t good at it, I’m sure the most effective results would be if I were the one to speak. I just wanted to get it over with, after all.
“Er…it’s actually about the same thing from that other day…” I managed to mutter out those words for the teacher, who, although they heard them, pulled their chair closer so they could listen to it better. “I was crying the other day because of some stuff those boys did, but…now they beat me up because they had gotten calls from their parents on it…” I spoke out, and the teacher gave me a look of concern.
“And I was there when it happened, too. I hadn’t been hanging around with him lately, so I decided to search for him yesterday. Then I looked out the hallway’s window and noticed him going to a corner with them, and when I arrived there, they were beating him up a lot. They only left him alone because I reminded them I’m from the student council.” Erik then gave his version of the facts, trying to back me up. As the teacher heard that, they put a hand to their chin, processing everything that had happened.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, my dear…” They put a hand on my head and kept petting it, as if to reassure me. It was an incredibly weird feeling, which I couldn’t tell if I liked or disliked. “I really should’ve been more careful with that. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve and learn their lesson! Okay?” The teacher pumped their fist and smiled at us, which prompted me to smile back. They then put their hand back to their chin, thinking again.
“Well…for now I’m still going to look towards an immediate punishment, but starting today and on all other days, I’m going to put them on detention. That way you can at least leave the school without feeling worried, and during school time you can just be with our student council hero here, right?” Their hand then went to Erik’s head, ruffling his fur and making a huge mess of it. Since it was Erik and he would try his best to get along with the teachers, he put on a smile just like me, but since he often made sure to groom his fur in the best way possible, I could tell that getting it messy was bothering him even if the ruffling itself wasn’t.
“Um, thank you, then. I’m sorry for bothering you.” I said, and as if it had just been something outrageous, the teacher got up from their chair and immediately grabbed my face.
“Oh no, dearie, it wasn’t your fault at all! It’s not bothering me at all! So, if you have any problems again, come to see me, okay? I’ll take care of it for you!” They said, and then finally released my face. I then muttered a “Thank you” and left as soon as possible.
“Well, that was faster than expected.” Erik said as we got out of the teacher’s lounge, and started trying to fix his fur so it looked more well-kept. He then finished that and started looking at me. “We still have a few minutes left, so let’s eat!” He told me, and as I nodded along, we both went to find seats and enjoy our lunch.
After that, school passed by me in a mix of a slow/fast fashion—I kept thinking of the events from today as the class went on, and it felt like it was going on for too long. But then suddenly class was over, and I noticed I spent more than just one class completely distracted, which took me by surprise. As I left the classroom with Erik, we saw the teacher that helped me enter the classroom and then start talking to William and his group. Right at that moment, Erik looked at me and we silently agreed to get out of there as fast as possible.
…And then, after the walk back home with Erik, I found myself back in my place. Without bothering on tidiness or anything, I just threw my bag wherever, turned on the TV as if it were a natural thing to me, and then practically dropped dead on my bed. My miscalculation was that I ended up throwing myself in a way that didn’t allow for me to even look at the TV properly without hurting my neck, but I didn’t really feel like moving.
…I kept thinking about the events that happened. I was already annoyed at myself by my repetition of that train of thought, and thought it was high time I stopped thinking about it…when I realized that it had only been a few hours since the incident, anyway. So I let myself sink into it again, one more time. Tomorrow, or maybe the day after tomorrow, I’d stop thinking about it, so I’d think about it as much as I could right now.
…What I always got from what I thought was that I was ultimately useless. I couldn’t really affect or do anything for myself without screwing it up. I really, really hated…the person known as “Raz”. I hated them more than anything. I cursed that existence as many times as possible, focusing on all of its flaws, how stupid, how delusional, how selfish, how disgusting it was. …I really just wished that “Raz” would disappear and go away, but that was really just a nice way of saying that I wanted “Raz” to die.
…But I didn’t want to die. I wanted to be happy and talented and have friends and be able to do things by myself. I didn’t want to have to rely on anyone anymore. I wanted people to naturally like me instead of me having to fight for a delusional friendship. I just…wanted to be born as someone that wasn’t “Raz”.
Because “Raz” was disgusting, I also was. Because “Raz” was stupid, I also was. Because “Raz” was useless, I also was. That person was the one cause of misfortune in my entire life, and I couldn’t get rid of them.
“You cannot get rid of the conditions from your birth. You cannot get rid of the person that you are. What you can do is change.” Was a phrase that I normally heard from many of the things I watched. They always put out the important fact that you can change.
…But what if you couldn’t?
It really was selfish of me to think that I could change or anything of the like. “Raz” is simply something like a playtoy, a thing that just serves to be affected by others. It shouldn’t be thinking by itself to begin with, that’s just wrong. “Raz” was made to serve to the whims of other people, be it as a friend so that one can feel better about themselves by helping them, or as an enemy, so that one can torture them and discount their anger on them. It was a creature that had no agency, and with a will of its own, was bound for self-destruction sooner or later.
That was…the fate that I recognized as my own. And because I was able to recognize that fate as mine…
“Good afternoon. I see that you’ve requested my services.”
…He appeared.
I sat up immediately as I heard this person, and looked at him. At first I couldn’t even make out any of his characteristics, because he was…unbelievably tall. No, rather than just “being tall”, he was something more like a giant. Something that was so much bigger than you, you couldn’t see where it ended, like a tower or something of the like. But after a while, I focused and managed to take a better look at him as I backed away on the bed, although he still gave me that feeling.
A raven, just like me, dressed with stylish clothes that didn’t look like anything you’d see in this day and age; if anything, it was more like something a noble gentleman from centuries ago would wear. Although when thinking rationally about him there seemed to be nothing off about him, he was definitely something else.
“W-what are you?!” I yelled at him, still backing away and making some distance between us. As he noticed how panicked I was, he was surprised for a second, and then giggled.
“Oh, my apologies for scaring you. Since you called me here with such a strong will, I thought you were already expecting this.” After he finished saying that, he then did a bow to me, like something one would see in movies and the like set ages ago. “I am what you would call…a demon lord. A being that grants power to those that have embraced their dire situations.”
As soon as he said that, something flashed inside of me. If what he said was true, then he could grant me power to become someone that wasn’t “Raz”. The only problem was that he was a demon, and I’d have to watch out for any tricks, but even so…
“Oh, no no no, my dear. I see you’ve already started thinking of something impossible.” He said, as if he was reading my mind, and then made a long cane appear from nowhere, like magic. With it, he then pulled me from the edge of the bed and towards him, now speaking incredibly close to my face. “Please refrain from doing that.”
“What do you mean by impossible?!” I shouted at him, not even worried anymore about how he knew what I was thinking or whatever magic he used to get that cane. This was essentially my lasts fight for my survival in this world as a human being. If a demon or an angel or a god had something to do with it, I couldn’t care less.
“You started thinking about being a person other than Raz, didn’t you?” He said to me, now sitting on the bed beside me and looking at me with the kind of smile that an adult would put when trying to explain to a kid why Santa Claus couldn’t possibly show up with an impossible present. “Now, see, simply put…I am the demon that appears to alleviate the pain people like you suffer because of their situation. I can’t truly save anyone like you.” As soon as he said that, it felt as if my heart stopped. But he kept going, talking about things I didn’t really care about.
“The only one who could do anything to save you would be God. And he’s a tad too busy pretending people like you don’t exist to go help you.” The demon spoke in a non-serious tone, but it was easy to notice the bitterness behind his words. However, after an awkward pause, he then clapped his hands together and put on a bright smile again.
“Now, back to my main job! I’m here for you, my dear. You’re someone whose situation cannot be changed or affected by yourself, and you will most likely be incredibly miserable due to it until the very day that you die. Correct?” He looked at me, waiting for my answer. There wasn’t anything particularly abnormal in what he said, but having how I feel acknowledged by someone else like that hurt quite a bit, for some reason. After I swallowed that feeling, though, I responded to him.
“…Yes.” I said, and it seemed as if his smile grew even bigger before he continued.
“Okay then, now that that’s done…how about we reveal exactly the kind of power that you desire.” He said as he approached me, putting his hands around my head, covering my eyes. After a few seconds of silence, he finally took his hands off me and I could see again. This time, my room was completely covered in darkness, except for the light that was coming from the TV.
“Look there, my dear. Do you see anything that resembles you?” He then pointed to it, and silently following his request, my eyes trailed off to it.
…I had expected something more magical or gruesome to appear on it, but it was actually just one of the shows that I watched all the time. However, my thoughts were cut abruptly as the characters started speaking, which caused me to pay attention to it.
“The reason you’re losing is because you don’t have any friends! We’re able to beat you because we’re here to support one another!” The hero from the show shouted at the villain, who was kneeling in pain on the ground. The villain, however, had a devious smile and a strong voice even as they were in pain.
“Friends, allies?! I could never have anything like that! The very concept of friends rejects me! No one ever accepted me! The only thing I need is the fun I’ll have while disemboweling you idiots!” The villain shouted and then got up again to fight, stronger than ever, laughing as they shot blasts of energy and faced off against the heroes in one last duel. The battle continued with them trading blows, until the villain was eventually hit once again and dropped to the ground. But even with a fatal wound on their body, they continued speaking the same way as before, still as if they were enjoying themselves.
“Hahahaha, hahaha…! I may not have won or changed anything, but this was the best! I’ll curse this world and all of you until my very last mooooomeeeents, you knoooooow?! It’s my role, after all, ahahahahahaaaaaa….!” The villain then gave off one last laugh as they disappeared, and the TV turned off at that moment.
…And just like the demon had said, I had recognized something that had resembled me in there.
“By the look on your face, I see you’ve already made a decision. However, even so, I will confirm the nature of how our contract with you.” The demon announced, and then cleared his voice, now speaking in a more serious, business-like tone.
“I, the demon lord, will grant you the power necessary to rid yourself of all pain in your life—no, rather, to accept it and turn it into your own power. By doing this, you will give up any and all hopes of becoming a person other than Raz. You will accept your fate as it is, so that you can realize the true potential of your existence.” He announced to me. His words and warnings at this point were completely irrelevant to me. I had already agreed to all this a while ago. This was only the drum roll before the banquet, so that it would feel even more delightful when it came. “Are you in agreement?” He then turned to me, and with a confident nod, I smiled from the bottom of my heart, of my own choice, for what felt like the first time.
And with only one word, I sealed my contract.
“Yes.”
Right after I said it, my room, that was previously shrouded in darkness, became brighter as many symbols lit up on the floor. I tried looking intently at the drawings on the floor, but the more I stared at them, the more I concluded that I could not understand them. And before I had the chance to even speculate what they could be, the letters and symbols on the drawings jumped out towards me and started floating around me.
“Now that I have your agreement, my dear, we shall begin the process of infusion of power.” The demon lord said to me as I stared at him in confusion. “Ah, but yes, first we have to get rid of whatever remains of your old self that may interrupt our ritual.” He then snapped his fingers, and from the end of each part of the room, a flame appeared. As they floated in my direction, I realized what he meant.
“…I should be trying to escape, shouldn’t I?” As I watched the flames get closer to me, I tried moving a bit, only to realize that the letters floating around me obviously wouldn’t allow me to, just as I had expected. To what I said, the demon lord only shrugged.
“Perhaps. The fact that you are not struggling aga could be a sign that you are more compatible with this power than you think.” He spoke, just as I was engulfed by the flames, every part of my body being burned to the core.
…What I felt couldn’t even be described as pain. In fact, it wasn’t really a feeling that I would have bothered describing. At best, those flames were like a small itching going around my body. But even though that was how it felt to me, from the look on the face of the demon lord, I was worse off than I had imagined.
“The flames of hell leave you in this state and you don’t even let out a single scream? You really are a one-of-a-kind creation of God, my dear.” Once he said this, I tried looking down at my body to find only a thin black line with more lines extending from it, like a lazy scribble someone would have made. It wasn’t anything like any living being, as there was simply no way for anything with that body to function. I was surprised that my eyeballs were even still intact.
“Now, how about we get to creating the new you! If I remember correctly, what you chose as your own power was…” He took the cane from his hand and held it near the letters, using it as a remote of sorts to control them and rearrange them in front of me. When he finished rearranging them into what was probably a word to him, he let out a “phew!” and held his cane normally again, supporting himself. After a few seconds of myself looking at him and the word he formed with complete and utter confusion, though, he realized that I had no idea what he had just done.
“Oh right!” He jumped a bit as he looked at me, and then held his cane up again. “To a human like you, it should be something more like…this?” He then hit the ground with the bottom of his cane, and the symbols in front of me transformed into a word that I could understand.
“Villain”.
And as if my comprehension was the trigger for it, the word flew at my charred body and slammed itself on it, enveloping it with a bright light. Little by little, I felt my body be rebuilt, each new cell introducing itself to me as my rightful servant, here to grant me a life that would be innumerable times more pleasant than the one I had led before.
…A life of desire.
At that moment, I lost consciousness.
…And found a new one.
As I woke up, I noticed that I was still laying on my bed, and that only a few minutes had passed. I quickly ran to my bathroom and went to the mirror to see what had changed in me, only to find the same disgusting body as always.
…Or rather, what seemed like it.
“It’s not anything that the human eye can see, right?” I said in a loud voice, directing that statement at someone in particular. However, it only echoed throughout the house for a few seconds. As I was about to go chase after him, though, he appeared right behind me, making me jump.
“Of course. Once you test it out, you will realize that this body can do many things that your previous body couldn’t. Perhaps we should rename you to Raz Mk.II?” The demon lord joked and then proceeded to laugh at his own joke, like it was the pinnacle of anything he had ever done. And I laughed, too, even if it was for another reason.
The next day.
After receiving these powers, I had noticed that I apparently received the power of fastforwarding time around me—or maybe I just couldn’t be bothered to focus on other kinds of things. Whenever anyone spoke to me, in only what seemed like a few seconds, they were gone. Even in these few seconds I couldn’t manage to pay attention, thinking only of what would come once the school day ended and I had the freedom to wander around by myself.
Once my time had finally come, however, Erik himself had approached me to say something to me. I didn’t really manage to pay attention to whatever it was, but either way, what I noticed was that he wasn’t accompanying me like he used to. Much, much easier for me. I was already planning on shooing him away if necessary.
I watched him as he went away, outside the classroom, and then turned my eyes to my prize: my precious “friends”. Even now, they still walked as a group, going to detention. That would give me the chance that I’d want. All I had to do was wait a little more, and so I did by waiting on the courtyard, sitting on top of the bench that they loved so much.
“Oh? I thought you said you’d use your powers as soon as the school time was over?” The demon lord chimed inside my head, disappointed that I still hadn’t started anything. Despite his gentlemanly appearance, he was actually behind the bench, trying to lay upside down on it by supporting himself with his arms. All this just so he could stare at me.
“I was planning to, but I forgot one important detail.” I said to him, shrugging as I admitted my fault. “But this actually makes it even better for a beginner like me. I’ll get to enjoy it slowly, not to mention that today will be a surprise dish.” I said, an overwhelming urge to laugh loudly overcoming me, but before I managed to do anything ridiculous like that, I covered my mouth. The demon lord had noticed that with a curious look in his eyes, but he only shrugged and said something that I almost didn’t catch before he disappeared.
“I wonder if you really are compatible with that kind of stuff, then…”
Before I got to say anything to him, though, he disappeared into the shadows, leaving me alone to ponder about that and wait for the time that my prey would appear. Even if there was something wrong with me, it didn’t really matter now. I was already a screw up, so even if a power like this ended up killing me or anything like that, I wouldn’t really mind. No one else would, either. Some of them would even be thankful for it.
Before I noticed it, though, my pretentious self-pity had apparently caused time to fastforward, as it was already time for them to get out, and there wasn’t a single soul around the school. I then went back to the building and hid myself where I could hear their classroom using magic, so that none of them could detect me. I was completely invisible.
“Detention is over for today. All of you, you’re dismissed.” Said someone with an adult-like, older voice. Obviously the teacher, who was most likely annoyed that they had to stay this late because of a few mischievous kids. By the sound of his steps, he was definitely in a hurry to get out of there as soon as possible.
Then, after that, there was the faint, almost inaudible sound of them putting their things away in their bags. Finally, they started talking as they put their things away.
“I still can’t believe we’re here just because of that asshole.”
“Me neither. I just hope he stays away from us after this.”
“What? You don’t think he’s got a grudge against us, do you?”
“That’s almost as creepy as when he said he got attached to us. Brrr.”
“Heh, maybe I should get another weirdo to help me and have them duke it out?”
Just hearing all of that that already made me want to lose my patience and bash all of their heads in. But I decided to be patient and bide my time. The new Raz wasn’t impatient and affected by that kind of thing like the old one, so all I had to do was keep on listening until I got my chance.
“Haha, that’d be great. No one besides us would be alive in this school by the time you were done though.”
“Yeah, even the student council and the school staff are filled with weirdos. Like, ew.”
“Well, the school staff is the one that got us here, you know. Obviously they’d be weirdos.”
“That’s true. I’m still kinda mad we didn’t get any payback on that student council creeper, but like hell I’m going near him again.”
“Oh, you said it. You know where I’m going? Home.”
Then I started hearing the sounds of footsteps. And just as I predicted…
“Well, me too. If I don’t hurry up, I won’t get to my stop on time.” Then, more footsteps.
“Oh, that’s right, if any of you are allowed to watch stuff at home now, tell me how that new show that airs today is like, okay? DON’T FORGET!” This one said to the ones still in the classroom, and then yelled to the ones that were already walking down the hallway. Then, as soon as that was done, even more footsteps.
“I gotta go, too. My parents still think my detention is actually an extra class, and if I take too long they’ll know something is off.”
“Haha, you too? Well, I’m off too, then.”
“Yeah, byebye!”
Then footsteps, each one slightly off-sync with the other, a noticeable distance between them, were heard, just like the others. And, as predicted, each one of them left separately, leaving only one person. The roulette of fate had decided my victim for today.
At first, there were the sounds of the person still getting up from the chair and putting it back to its place. After that, I then started hearing their lazy footsteps, slowly making their way to outside the room, and then to the hallway. And from where I was, I saw a side of their face, to see that it was William.
I almost let out a giggle. I left it up to fate, and it picked the most appropriate one for me. The first one to torment me would also be the first one that I’d get my revenge on. As I watched him walk, I started thinking of where to hit.
…Only one strike, just for revenge. That was going to be enough for me. It would also avoid further problems. But as if the demon lord had been observing my every thought much too carefully, only his voice appeared to echo in my head.
“Remember, the first time is the one that makes an impression, and it’s also the charm. Oh, or was it the third one?” He then giggled, and as I was about to lose my cover only so I could reply to him, he continued speaking. “Make sure to use your power well. If you keep limiting yourself, what good is that? Isn’t that just like being a human all over again? You’re a villain, so enjoy life a little bit more.” He said to me, his words echoing as his presence faded away. As much as I wanted to get in at least one reply to him, I had no time or chance for that. And as I stared at my friend who was walking down the hallway, I made my decision.
“William! How much I missed you!” I announced as I deactivated the magic I was using to hide myself, and instead focused on making a weapon appear. Just as I wished, a pretty big hammer toy-looking hammer was there, being held by my hand. It looked like it’d make a squeaky sound if you hit someone with it.
“Y-you!” William jumped as soon as he heard me, and then instantly turned to look back at me. “Ugh, you’re as creepy as always. What do you even want now?” He asked me, holding his bag close to him. Apparently when he was away from his pack, he didn’t really have the same poisoned tongue as always.
“I thought we were friends. And friends always hang out together, don’t they?” I started approaching him with slow steps, enough to make him feel uneasy. “And besides, I have a present for you. Look!” I took the hammer in my hand and held it high for him to see. Instead of reacting positively to it and coming to get his gift, though, he only started walking away from me.
“I don’t care about your cheap provocation, and most of all, I don’t want anything from you.” He said as he walked away, not slowing down one step, but always looking at me. “And don’t try following me!” He yelled as his pace got faster.
However, as he said that, I only put a finger to my chin.
“Following you? I don’t really get what you mean.” I giggled as soon as I said that. I had to hold it in or I’d ruin the punchline of the surprise. “After all…” With my free hand holding my beak shut to stop myself from giggling, I used the one holding the hammer to hold it up high.
“After all, where would I follow you to?” My magic then activated itself, as a light spread from my hammer and enveloped the hallway. Until then, nothing seemed different for all of us, except for William running as fast as he could from me. However, after a few minutes of him running, it seemed like he had finally realized what had happened.
“Running will only waste your breath. After all, this hallway is now our space. So, we have to stay together here.” I said to him as he desperately tried opening the classroom doors to see if any of them worked, completely ignoring what I was saying. That immensely pissed me off, so I thought it was about time I started having fun.
“Like I said, this is OUR space. And if you keep trying to pretend I don’t exist, YOU HAVE A HARD LIFE AHEAD OF YOURSELF.” I then hit the hammer on the ground, making a squeaky sound. And that would have been a joke by itself, if it weren’t the trigger for the magic that caused many of these hammers to appear in the air in front of me.
“Let me go! I don’t care about you or whatever you feel about me, just let me go…!” He yelled at me as he tried running again once he saw the hammers, and instead of giving him the dignity of my reply, I just let them fly at him, spinning incredibly quickly. Of course, his resistance was futile, and the hammers all hit him incredibly hard on the head, back and hands, as he tried shielding himself from them. Unlike the one I held, those had actual weight behind them, as evidenced by his crying. The tears on his face only made me feel like summoning another batch of hammers, though, and so did I.
“You know, if you apologized to me for everything you’ve done, then maybe I could even let you go for today. Who knows about any of the other days, though!” I let out a laugh once more, and although I was expecting for him to be begging forgiveness by now, he was actually trying to break out the window. So another batch of hammers was fired onto him, but only because breaking the windows was damaging school property, and that was against the rules. Since he didn’t get to shield himself, now they hit in even more spots, and I wondered just how many marks that left on his body.
“I’m…ry….” William said something as he was on the ground, struggling to get up. He kept repeating it as if it were some kind of mantra, so, interested, I got closer to hear what he was saying.
“I’m sorry…!” He practically shouted that at me when I got closer to him, and for a moment, I really felt like my life had lit up for a moment. It was incredibly satisfying to hear him say this, but…
“Well, if you really were sorry, you’d have apologized when I told you to a while ago instead of trying to break the window. Sorry, tough luck!” I said to him as I raised my hammer on him, and I stopped just before I hit him. Just that had caused him to faint, much to my delight.
“Hm…maybe I should leave it be for today…” I said to myself as I turned his body around with my hammer, just to make sure he was unconscious. I then crouched near him. “Or perhaps I should just kill him right here!” I yelled out incredibly close to his ear, hoping to get a reaction from him, but he really had fainted. That just caused me to laugh even more.
“Really? Fainting out of fear? C’mon, what are you?!” I yelled at his unconscious body, making fun of him, hoping he’d have at least some fight left in him. “I hate being ignored most of all, you know!” I then kicked him, just to wrap up today’s show with a cherry on top. Finishing it all up pretty and nice just because he fainted wasn’t on my plans.
As soon as I lost my desire to beat the hell out of him, the magic surrounding the hallway and my hammers all disappeared, turning it back to normal. The only evidence that the past few moments had ever happened were all the wounds and marks on William’s body, which were most likely pretty fun to see on his pure white body.
“Hm…” As I grabbed my things and got ready to go back home, I stared at William, who was still there, on the ground. However, despite the thoughts in my head that I should do something about him, I only shrugged and made my way back home as quickly as possible, so I could sleep and get to the next day, where I could do the same thing to the others in the group.
As soon as I got home, though, what was waiting for me wasn’t a good sleep, but yes the demon lord, whose face was definitely covered with glee as he turned to face me.
“Welcome back home, dear. How was your day at work?” He said, trying to imitate a female voice from a certain cartoon. Giggling, I replied to him adequately.
“It was awesome thanks to you.” I said as we both made our way to my room, and I finally threw myself on the bed like I had wanted to. It felt incredibly comfortable—or rather, satisfying. It was as if I really had come home from my ideal job, where my subordinates all listened to me and I was the most important figure.
“Oh my, is that so? Did you notice the subtle differences in your body? I put a lot of care into it so you could do it properly.” He said as he sat on the bed beside me, and to what he said, I put my hand up.
“Of course. These hands can actually hurt. This mouth can actually say cruel things. These eyes won’t get clouded by tears.” I showcased each of these parts to him by putting them near him or pointing at them with a finger. “It’s really the best body for what it does. For that, I have you to thank.” Once he saw how happy I was with them, he gave a sheepish, only barely embarrassed smile.
“Well, that is my job after all. And I only do this so I can see some interesting results, and I think maybe you can give me these…” He suggested to me, and as soon as I heard it, I got up and nodded at him.
“If it’s just doing this all the time, of course I will…!” My answer seemed to satisfy him enough, but considering his standards, I decided to ask him something just in case. “But, today…did I do it all well enough? What do you think?”
Hearing this question, he put a hand to his chin and slightly scratched it. “Well, at least for a first time, it was definitely good. You could have gone further, but that would be expecting too much from a beginner. You’ll get some more style as you keep going, too. But for now, don’t worry too much.” He warily reached to put a hand on my head, as if not knowing if he was allowed to, but then put it anyways and petted me. “You’ll definitely get a lot better, and it’ll be even more enjoyable.” Those words with the treatment I was receiving on my head definitely felt incredibly sweet to me, to the point that I almost felt like stopping and sleeping right there. But even then, I had one last question.
“Um, just one last thing, though. I’m kinda concerned about just leaving William there…” He then took his hand away from my head, and I started fidgeting, a bit nervous. “Won’t there be any consequences?” I asked him, and he almost gave off a laugh. Once he contained it, he then started speaking.
“My dear…” He got off the bed as he said that, and then started pacing around the room. “You’re looking at this all wrong to begin with. There is no reason that someone of your status should be concerned with things like consequences, or blame, or whatever else you can think of.” Before I noticed it, he was then behind me, and he grabbed my shoulder with one hand and put the other in front of my view.
“Villains do all of their actions without remorse! They don’t clean up after themselves! You ARE something like evil personified now.” He then took the hand that was in front of my face and put it on my other shoulder, and got carefully close to me so he could whisper:
“Everything is your fault now.”
And although my eyes widened with shock only for a single second, so quick that nobody could even see it..
I closed my eyes and accepted that fate, as I felt him embrace me from behind. With his warmth and a sense of realization surrounding me, I felt the day practically fastforward to the next one.
During my way to school with Erik, I realized that he wasn’t really bothering to talk to me, or anything of the like. He greeted me and then, after that, we just made our way silently to school, as if he was wary of something. But considering that I was barely able to focus on what other people said, lately, it was an advantage to me, in a way.
As we got near the school, though, I noticed that even though he wasn’t saying anything to me or to anyone, he kept rehearsing some words as he walked, practicing something. I almost didn’t manage to catch that, but since it came off as incredibly uncanny to me, I ended up paying an inordinate amount of attention to it…to the point that I ended up walking into a teacher. Me and Erik both stopped.
“Oh, Raz, I was actually waiting for you. Could you come with me to the teachers’ lounge?” They asked me, and I already knew what was coming. My supposed “punishment” for beating up William the other day, most likely. So without an answer, I just calmly walked, following the teacher, leaving Erik there.
“Okay, Raz…” The teacher addressed me as they sat down on their chair. Apparently they had emptied the entire teacher’s lounge just so we could have this place to ourselves. “Actually, yesterday there was a certain student that got beaten up by someone. He’s fine now, but he’s hurt all over and he’s really, really badly wounded on his legs, so he couldn’t come today…” They started addressing the issue, using that kind of careful wording so as not to make me jump out at them or anything of the like. At least it looked like the teacher was more on my side, seeing as I was the victim first.
“And see, this student that got beaten up, he’s actually William, one of the students that were bullying you lately. And he’s saying that you did it.” They spoke, and then started getting touchy-feely like they used to, putting a hand on my shoulder as if to calm me for some reason. “Now, I know that you’re a good kid and that you wouldn’t harm anyone, but sometimes, when we’re really, really angry, we end up doing things that we normally wouldn’t. So I’ll just ask.”
The teacher then took a deep breath, and started looking at me in the eye. “Were you the one who beat up William yesterday?” As soon as I heard that, I was trying really hard to keep my laughter only to my mind. I wondered how I should describe this to them.
“Actually, yes, teacher, I did beat him up! I used magic to fire hammers against him and hurt him as much I could, just ask my friendly demon lord over here!” I almost considered saying this. I’m pretty sure I would have even gotten points with the demon lord because of that, but that’d be incredibly stupid. As I pondered on whether to admit it already or let them find out themselves or not, though, the door to the teacher’s lounge practically flew open as Erik entered.
“Excuse me, teacher.” He said, stealing the spotlight that was on me and then placing himself in front of me. “Actually, I apologize, since I was listening to this through the door. But Raz didn’t do it at all.” Although the teacher was about to tell Erik to kindly get out of the room, their interest was rather piqued for a second when they heard that.
“Um, look, dear, it’s nice that you’re sticking up for your friend, but—“ The teacher started speaking, but was then quickly interrupted by Erik again.
“Actually, it’s not that I’m sticking up for him. I’m just owning up to what I did.” Erik shrugged as he said that, and I felt cold sweat running down my neck. This was supposed to be my fault, like everything else. He was actually displaying a power that was…much stronger than any evil I could muster…
“What are you saying, I obviously did it! I—“ As I was about to lash out at him, Erik defied any of the possibilities I had thought of and hugged me.
“It’s fine. You’ve suffered enough, you don’t have to do this. I’m your friend.” He said out loud, catching me completely by surprise, but then whispered into my ear. “Just let me handle this.”
The result was me, stopped there, not exactly knowing what to do. Which I guess was my own way of letting him handle it. Even the teacher was a bit surprised by what had just happened, and their face was like as if they were watching a soap opera.
“Um—“ The teacher was about to try to intervene, but was quickly shot down once again.
“It was me who hurt William, I even hurt his legs first so he couldn’t run. After all, I was here until late doing student council work, which I’m sure many others can confirm. Raz wasn’t even here by the time this happened, since he was waiting for me by the courtyard and then went back home without me.” While he was speaking, I simply could not process why exactly was he doing this. Was he doing it just to get at me? Was it just a reminder that I can’t even take blame for things? That I’m really that useless, that I can’t have any effect on anything in this world? Not even this one thing?
“Besides, William was with his friends in detention. When they passed by to go home, they should have seen Raz, but I’m sure they didn’t. However, they must have seen how the lights in the student council room were on. William is just blaming Raz to get back at me and force me to admit it, since I beat him in revenge for my friend and I could get away with it. I’m sorry, teacher.” It was easy to know that every single word of Erik’s was planned in advance. Although what he said did make some sort of sense, he came off as incredibly forceful with it, even down to the apology he made.
…And that forcefulness was also part of what made the teacher sigh for a bit.
“Look, Erik, I...hm.” The teacher supported their head with their right hand and then started tapping their cheek with their index finger. “I understand what you’re saying, and it’s good of you to come to apologize. I really appreciate that, okay?” The teacher said, ruffling Erik’s head just like the previous time. I could tell he was trying hard not to show that it was awkward to him, though. “But still, what you did is incredibly serious. It’s very likely you’ll have to lose your spot in the student council and as class president. And I still have to see how else it’ll go, I’m still being rather easy on you because I know how you must have been stressed lately and because you came clean about it.” The teacher said, their tone of voice becoming more stern. Erik only looked down.
“Yes, I understand. I’m sorry.” He apologized one more time to the teacher, who only gave off a sheepish smile in response and then changed their tone.
“Well, it’s fine! For now, don’t worry. After all, whatever else punishment you may get will come later.” They said, and then turned to me, who was still quiet and dumbfounded. “And Raz, I’m sorry for doubting you like that, okay? But please take care of your friend from now on, and don’t let him get into fights.” After listening to that, I only nodded.
“Now you’re free to go!” The teacher said to us, and we headed to the door. As we were about to open it, though, they called to us again. “And please don’t talk about what happened here, okay? We still need to see what we’ll do about Erik’s duties in the student council and the class.” With a “yes”, we both left the room.
“Well, that was easier than I expected. I thought I fluked when I was talking, but—“ Erik started speaking, but as soon as he did, I grabbed his wrist and started running with all my might. Whatever he was saying about stopping or where we were going, I completely blocked it. I just ran as fast as I could until we reached the same alley where William’s friends beat me up before, and then stopped.
“What’s gotten into you? I just—“ Erik started to speak, but I cut him off with a yell of frustration first. And then actual words.
“You mean what’s gotten into YOU. I don’t get it, why?! You’re losing your spots of honor, and there’s a chance they’ll even call your mom! You might have to pay for treatment! You’ll probably get a bad reputation around the school too!” I started yelling all these consequences incoherently at him, completely catching him by surprise. He then recomposed himself, and started speaking normally.
“I don’t really mind losing my spot or getting a bad reputation. Losing my spot is actually a relief. And besides, they didn’t pay or help you in any way when YOU got beaten up, so they wouldn’t have the courage for that.” As he said all that with a face that was only slightly concerned, I got completely mad.
“Whatever…! When you lose your spot, it doesn’t matter how much you yell at them, those others will beat you up, you know! And I can’t even help you, all I can do is be a punching bag! I beat him up, so what’s up with you?! How did you even…why were you even there?!” As I shouted all that, he started trying to calm me down by holding my wrists, but I shook his hands off.
“I…I was there because of my late student council work, I even told you that day. When I was getting out I ended up seeing it and I peeked from the door until it was over. …Sorry.” He said to me, looking defeated for a bit. When I thought he was about to leave or something of the like, though, his energy sprung up again. “But there’s no problem if they come to beat me up or whatever, I can take care of it! You don’t have to do anything, since I just took the blame because I wanted to. You can run and call a teacher if they try, and—“ I cut him off as soon as I became sick of his bullshit.
“Why did you want to take the blame. I’m not…your pet or anything. You don’t have to take responsibility for me. I’m my own person! I can do things too! Even though I’m just a disgusting plaything to you guys, I want to pick my own choices too, even if I can only pick bad ones! If I’m just going to get rejected anyway, I want it to be…of my own choice…” Tears started coming out of my eyes, as if to multiply my amount of self-hate by a million. I quickly went to cover my eyes, and Erik was only in silence as I did. I wanted to whine and cry louder as he looked down, but I held it in. After some time, he finally spoke.
“It’s…fine if you don’t get me, because I don’t get you either. I don’t really know why you’re so upset and I’m afraid of guessing wrong and making it worse. We can only really talk or yell or shout or something, we’ll never really understand, but…I did like being around you, even if I couldn’t understand you completely.” He said to me, even as I kept crying. He didn’t make me stop to hear him. My crying sounds and his talking just overlapped on each other. “I didn’t mind taking the blame for it because I wondered if you’d be transferred or something if you did, and I wanted to continue being around you, and get praised by you.”
“Why didn’t you let me resolve it by myself?! Don’t you trust me to deal with things?! Do you think I have to get saved by you all the time, because I can’t even talk to people right…?” I said back at him, the words just barely coming out of my throat and at him, and my choking on my own tears didn’t help either. But even so, he silently heard and understood. And then, he was angry…or nervous…or perhaps even scared. I couldn’t even tell.
“It’s not, Raz! But I wanted to help you! Because…!” Maybe he noticed that he was raising his own voice, or maybe he became embarrassed of what he was about to say. I also couldn’t tell that. “Seeing you get taken away or something is my worst fear, so I want to do whatever I can to stop it…” He practically mumbled that last sentence to himself, but I heard it. Even with my own crying and the headache that was slowly forming itself in my head during that argument…
I heard it loud and clear.
And before I could even say anything in response, I looked at Erik’s face and I realized it wasn’t my turn to get supported anymore. It really…wasn’t the time where I could just say anything to him free of consequence. That had ended moments ago.
“It’s like you said, okay?! I don’t know a single thing about you, I can’t tell! Other people that aren’t me, I can’t figure them out completely, I don’t know what’s going to happen. If you’re stronger or weaker or more or less competent than me, I don’t know anything about that! I don’t know if I can just rely on my impressions of people! I can only rely on myself!” It was his turn to yell now, and although tears were still coming out of my face, I quieted myself down. My throat hurt a bit from forcing it, but I wanted to respect his feelings, too.
“I don’t know…what you’re feeling…” Erik said as he put his hands on my shoulders, his face looking down. I could only imagine what he looked like right now. “But I just want to do everything I can to help you and keep you here…just let me do that, please.” His grip on me strengthened itself, his nails practically digging into me. I didn’t allow the pain to show itself on my face. “It’s easier to do everything if you’re there later…it’s over in a flash. Even if I can do it, I don’t care about it. Scary things just become another thing in the long run. If I didn’t have that, I don’t know if I’d even…get up to do it…I don’t even know what I want to do besides this…so please, just let me help you…” He said, and I started to notice that his words were becoming harder to understand as he was also choking on something. I could only imagine what it was.
…But I knew, and I understood. Even with that incomplete message of his, I completely understood it.
“You’re…asking for my permission?” I asked him, just to make sure. Just to make sure of what I had heard.
“Yes. Yes I am…so please.” He then said in response to me.
At the moment I heard those words that connected to those feelings, it felt as if a party was being held inside me. It was as if the country in my heart had finally gotten their king back, and he had just put on his royal crown.
And indeed…I had just received my own crown back. I had just been blessed with the occasion of becoming human again. I was not surrounded by magicians giving me many presents, fairies giving me their blessings, or even any citizens rejoicing my return. However, they had never existed in this world for me to begin with. The only ones that mattered were…already here.
“Then…let’s do it. Let’s help each other. I’ll put in my share of work too, and I will absolutely not leave. Most…definitely. So next time, we’ll tell each other about something like this.” I tried lifting his face back up to look at me with my hands as I spoke. And as I said that to him, I felt a magic completely different from the demon lord’s kind giving me power. It was my own magic of absolute certainty. The kind that would take even the incomplete messages thrown into the abyss of our relationship…and complete them. The strongest kind, that could only be achieved by an indestructible unity between humans.
“And…I’m sorry for yelling at you like this. Thank you for taking the blame for me. I’ll pay you back, I’ll…” As I was saying that, though, Erik pulled me into a hug. Unlike the one that he showed back at the teacher’s lounge, a genuine one, where he was almost crushing me. And I returned it.
“Thanks, I’ll…don’t worry, sorry, I…” After he released me, he tried to find the words to conclude this. But as he was doing so, I took the initiative and hugged him. Even though we had just done it…I had to show him it, too. Even though it wasn’t nearly as crushing as his hug was to me.
“We…sure ended up saying a lot of stuff, huh.” He said to me as I embraced him. Part of me found it funny how that was the best line he could come up with, but I held it in. Or rather, I only let out one giggle and let him assume it was because I was happy.
“We did. And the day’s barely started.”
“Did the bell for the classes ring yet?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it rang while we were yelling and we didn’t hear it.”
“Then…”
“Yeah, let’s go check it out. If they think we’re cutting classes it’ll be bad for us.”
“From president to delinquent…I should write a book.” He laughed.
After that, I followed after him until the end of the school day. I strained my eyes to keep him in my sight at all times, whenever I could. I couldn’t tell if I was trying to protect him because I wanted to or because I felt like I had to pay him back, but whatever my reason was, I wanted to keep him safe and near me at all costs. Then finally, once the school bell rang…
“Normally, you’d stay at the school for something—either student council work or detention, but one is gone from your life and I’m not even sure if you’ll have the other.” The teacher said to Erik, seeming troubled over what to do. After some time pondering, though, they spoke again. “Well, at least for today, you’re free to go. I’ll see what else will happen with you later.” They then went away, and me and him smiled at each other. Since he was in the student council and the kid who he beat wasn’t an angel either, if everything went well, he could get a free pass…that’s what I hoped for.
As we were walking out the school gates, though, Erik seemed to have become uneasy, and after a few minutes had passed, he finally said something to me.
“Hey, actually…do you want to go get some ice cream? Just…to commemorate since we got off easy and all that, and there’s this place…” He looked away as he offered that to me. Obviously, this time, I won’t bother commenting on how his face was or wasn’t. Whichever it was, it was a lovely face that brought ice cream to me, and that was enough.
“Well….why not? I’ll make it my treat, too.” I said, after a moment of consideration. For a minute I swore I had seen Erik jump a bit, but I chalked it off to my imagination. “Where is the place, by the way?”
“It’s actually near our houses, so we just have to walk on the same way. It’s kinda new, so I saw an ad for it in the TV.” He said to me, and then as we started walking, he became quiet again. It was like he was one of those kids that kept hitting the on/off light switch, except it was with his own personality. “And hey, you don’t…really have to treat me, I mean…” He started fidgeting a bit as he did. Considering him, he probably knew he’d pig out on the ice cream since he most likely spent most of his money on sweets or something. Like that, I sighed just a bit.
“It’s fine, you know. I still have some left, and it’s not like there’s anything I wanna buy, at least this…month…” My words trailed off as I reached towards my pockets, and I just gave a single look at Erik that I hoped had represented everything that I felt at the moment.
“I forgot my wallet.” I told him just like that as we walked, and then I ended up bumping into a door face first. As I finally looked in front of me, I noticed that we were already at our destination.
“Geez, that’s way careless of you…” Erik said, scratching the back of his head. Knowing him, he was considering if it was even possible to treat me. At best he’d be able to buy like 2 drops of ice cream for each of us. I then looked through one of the windows, and it looked full of people. There were barely any tables left.
“Well, I’ll…” I put my hand to my chin in consideration of what to do next, and after a while, I finally came to something. “Hey, Erik, you stand guard here. If you see anyone coming, you go in and take one of the tables. I’ll go dash home really quickly and get my wallet.” I said to him, and he looked conflicted over it for a bit.
“Isn’t it better if you stay? I’m way faster than you.” But right after he was done saying that, I was already on my run for it, leaving him eating dust.
“I need the exercise way more than you, though!” I shouted at him as I continued running, the distance between us increasing. And after I had ran for only a minute, my body started getting tired and I went back to walking, although slightly faster than normal. I had Erik protecting the table for us, so there was no problem if I ended up being a little late.
After all…
“I’ve come back for you.”
There were still things I had to resolve.
“Oh, that’s incredibly nice of you, my dear.” Said the demon lord, sitting on a chair, waiting for me in my house. Just as I had expected. “I couldn’t contact you at all, it was like you were completely surrounded by a barrier. Is that how humans feel when they are blocked on the internet?” He asked me, looking nonchalant. But even I could tell he was actually quite distressed.
“Well, something like that. I wouldn’t know, I’m usually a pretty likable person.” I said to him, and then clapped my hands. “Anyway! I’m here now, and you’re here, so if you could give get straight to the point…” One of his eyebrows raised themselves in interest, and then he finally got his ass off the chair.
“Oh, so I see you’ve noticed. Yes, actually, some of the powers I gave you seem to have lost their effect, and most of….our magic seems to be gone.” He said as he approached me, getting closer to me with every step. He then put a hand on my shoulder. “Now, shall we start it again…?”
And I decided that I should touch him too. I wanted to feel him closer, much, much closer. And so…
My hand went through his chest, leaving a huge hole where it went.
“Ah, I didn’t manage to grab the heart.” I whispered to myself as I removed my hand from him, causing him to stumble backwards. By the look on his face, I could tell he wasn’t exactly expecting that.
“Guh…! Agh, ahh…!” He puked blood from his mouth as he stared at the hole in his chest. Slowly, the hole reconstructed itself. I should’ve aimed more carefully, since it doesn’t seem he’ll be killed that easily.
“I’ll give you a second to say that you simply lost your head for a moment, my dear.” He said to me, trying to threaten me despite looking pathetic. “Because if not, I think I’ll cut that head off myself…!” A dark aura of magic surrounded him, practically engulfing him. It was like a dark fire, slightly different from the one I was engulfed in earlier. It was one that I knew would screw me over.
“Unfortunately, the only one who’s going to lose anything here is you.” My own flame emerged around me too, and it slowly moved to his. Eventually, they mixed and burned everything around us, bringing a new scenario for the next part in our script. After all, it would be unfitting for demons to have a battle in the land of humans.
From what was burned, the new land was a dark one, what you would expect from any final boss. A big castle at night, illuminated by the bright moon. Dark, dead trees surrounding the place. The feeling that there were eyes everywhere. A place that had surely been constructed in the image of the demon lord.
…The same demon lord that was fleeing. Wings had grown on his back, and he quickly flew off, trying to get as much distance as me and him as possible.
But the fire had burned holes into my back, and from them, wings protruded, too. And I wasted no time in using them to chase him…!
“A demon lord, scared like this?! I guess I really am more fit for the title than you are!” I yelled at him as we continued our chase, him having a slight advantage on me since he didn’t waste any time being confused. He flew away from the castle and instead over the forest that surrounded it, always getting dangerously close to the trees. Maybe he was expecting me to try diving on him, missing, and then getting stuck on them so he could kill me off easily. But I wasn’t that dumb.
“Demon lords aren’t invincible, you see! I reserve my right to run away if necessary!” He yelled back at my provocation, not looking back once at me. I’d need to get him to screw up somehow to catch him.
“Sure, keep on running away! That’s all your magic is worth in your hand, anyway!” With a smug smile on my face, I shouted. “They’re just illusions that help you ignore all the consequences…! Demon lords aren’t anything more than an idiot who’s given up and is playing around because they’re angry!” I shouted the words that were sure to make him react. Words that I’m sure any person who accepted his magic had heard or thought about.
“Oh, is that so?” He said to me, finally turning his head back to look at me. Even though this was what I wanted, the smile on his face completely unnerved me. “Then tell me what someone like you, who couldn’t even do anything for himself, can use magic for! Come on!” As he slowed down and eventually stopped, only floating on the air, I made a mad dash for him, flapping my newfound wings as strongly as I could, lunging at him. This time, I wasn’t going to miss him…!
But I stopped just before I reached him. Time hadn’t stopped or anything of the like. I hadn’t stopped. My wings were still beating furiously. However…
As I looked down, I saw something like a spear coming from the ground, stabbing me through my stomach. It looked like it was made of pure darkness, what with it being incredibly cartoony, just like a few lines drawn on paper. And there wasn’t only just the spear. There were also several more lines coming from the main one, all of them wrapping themselves on my limbs, holding me in place.
“You’re…such a disappointment, my dear.” The demon lord taunted as he watched me pathetically cough blood. Blood kept spilling out of my mouth nonstop, and I couldn’t give a shit on what he was saying. But that didn’t stop him from talking.
“You had such a good chance, like before. And even though you brought something new and exciting to the fray, you’re just going to fail.” He got closer to me, flapping his long winds, and then caressed my face, although doing his best to avoid touching the blood. “Just like with your little friend.” He then whispered on my ear. I knew what he wanted, and he pissed me just about enough that it was about time I gave him it.
“GO FUCK YOURSELF…!” I shouted, and tried to spit at him. But the “spear” grew larger in my stomach, and it only turned into more blood coming from my mouth. And I didn’t even get to imagine that the blood would get his pretty little face dirty; the “spear” quickly sprouted another line from itself to cover my mouth and protect its master from the horrid thought of getting just a bit dirty.
“Maybe if you didn’t have your head in the clouds, you’d have thought twice when thinking of taking me on or trying to provoke me.” He said, patting the “spear” that was stabbing me, as if it was his greatest work. “You didn’t think for even a second that I could control the trees around here? Or maybe, even as you have one of their branches stabbed into your stomach, you still haven’t realized this?” He giggled to himself as I gave him no answer, what with my mouth still being covered. And after a few seconds of silence, his impatience grew, and with a snap of his fingers, the tree branch grew one more time, making my face twist itself in pain.
“I’M TALKING TO YOU! ANSWER ME!” He said to me, and then finally the branch covering my mouth left, letting me actually cough somewhere. But I controlled my throat as soon as possible so I could speak, or he’d make it grow again.
“Considering I’m fighting against a kindergartener with no control of his emotions, I thought it was only fair if I didn’t think at all as a handicap.” I said, the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. I didn’t know what was going to happen from now on, but I did know that whatever happened, it was going to be at least a little bit worth it. And as I thought, he stood there in place, shocked, for at least a few seconds.
Until he finally shouted again.
“DIE…!!”
The tree branch finally released me, leaving a huge hole where my stomach should be, spewing out blood. And with nothing to keep me up in the air, I started falling to the ground.
…Or so I’d hoped it would happen.
After all, there were thousands of tree branches coming after me. Stabbing me through the eyes, arms, legs, chest, throat, and entirely covering me—
And before long, there was nothing resembling me left. If I still had a body, it was completely covered in a forest made solely of the branches that tried to stab me. There was only…complete darkness there.
“But I’ll give you light.” A voice from the outside whispered to me, in exactly the tone I needed and wanted. A sweet and comforting one, as if it were here not only to save me physically, but also mentally.
“R e a l l y…?” I tried to reply to that voice, even though I was sure I didn’t have a throat anymore. But I still made sounds that resembled what I wanted to say.
“Of course, my dear…” The voice reassured me. And even though I felt myself light up for just a bit, I quickly realized what was wrong with that.
“AFTER ALL, WITHOUT ANY LIGHT, HOW WILL I SEE YOUR PITIFUL FACE, HUUUUUH?!” The demon lord yelled at me from outside, cackling right after. Like it was the best prank he had played in his entire life. …And I had fallen for it.
I didn’t even have the energy to try to respond to him. I didn’t want to hear or notice anything anymore. I just wanted to die already.
…But.
There was still a suspicious smell. Something like…smoke.
And as my world truly lit up,
I realized that the demon lord was the kind of asshole who liked to start forest fires.
And like a true heretic, I got to feel my body being burned until there was nothing left of it anymore.
--
Flying extremely close to the fire, the demon lord laughed as he held a stick covered with marshmallows next to it.
“Heh, calling me a kindergartener with no control…? Please. That’ll show him.” He bit off one of the marshmallows, and then muched on it as he talked. The epitome of bad manners, talking with your mouth full. “It’s my life, I do whatever I want. Just because I try to enjoy myself doesn’t mean I have no control. Hmph.” He continued grumbling as he ate.
“I still wonder exactly what he was trying to do with murdering me. But…I don’t really care. Maybe I should go about treating that ugly wound he left on me first…” He looked at his chest. It was still slowly healing, the hole covering itself from the time Raz had pierced him with his surprise attack. It’d take quite some time to heal, in comparison to smaller wounds. “Really, that kid left me with so many problems.” The demon lord finally sighed, closing his eyes as he threw away the stick, still with a few marshmallows, and supported his head with his hands, as if he were laying down on a bed. His mind was truly filled with problems.
…But that was about to end soon.
“Don’t worry. You won’t have to worry about anything like that once I’m done with you.” A rather familiar voice whispered into his ear, and the only thing he managed to do before being attacked was open his eyes and look at his back to confirm it.
Truly, right there, it was….Raz. And not only that, he also had his hand inside the demon lord, holding his heart.
“You…?! How dare you, I’ve already killed you…!” The demon lord, his face completely deformed with anger, frustration, and surprise, said with the most hateful feelings he could muster. But much unlike him, the boy behind him was confident and happy, a cheerful smile on his face. He looked so picturesque and happy, he could probably have been in an advertisement for something.
“Maybe if you didn’t have your head in the clouds, you’d have thought twice when thinking of taking me on or trying to provoke me.” He imitated the demon lord’s speech from before, much to his anger. And even though the demon lord was surely coughing blood…it was hard to see, what with all the foam coming from his mouth. His heart kept beating faster with anger, and being able to feel that on his hand only made Raz feel even more triumphant.
“YOU’RESUPPOSEDTOBEDEADYOU’RESUPPOSEDTOBEDEADYOU’RESUPPOSEDTOBEDEAD!!!!” The demon lord kept repeating with anger, and Raz only laughed. His laugh started turning even wilder, as he contemplated on how the world really did turns.
“You didn’t think for even one second about the exact properties of the magic you gave me? C’mon, think about it. I’m a villain. You really think we’re the type to get killed like this? Getting killed by a secondary character?” Raz kept laughing as the demon lord’s body shook. He desperately wanted to move and cut Raz’s head off, but he couldn’t do anything risky, with his heart being on the raven boy’s hands.
“You know, we villains can’t really just go up and…” In the middle of his speech, Raz tore out the demon lord’s heart with one hand, and using the other, he impaled the demon lord’s body on the tree branch that came at him from behind his back, skillfully evading it himself using his wings. “Use the same trick too much, and it’ll lose its appeal.” He then said, flying in front of the demon lord’s impaled body, smiling at him. Even without a heart, he was still alive; not for long, but somehow, he still struggled to live. Even though he could only cough blood, and not respond to anything.
“Anyway, like I was saying, we villains can’t really just go up and die to secondary, pitiful background characters like you. If you had even a little bit of culture in your life, you’d realize that one of the main rules is that the villain will only get killed by the hero, or due to the hero’s efforts.” He took the demon lord’s heart on his hand and brought it closer to his mouth, licking it. With a small “ew”, he then stopped. “But you know, my hero is still waiting for me, and I’m awfully late. I have no time to keep playing with you, unfortunately. But it was pretty exciting.” He looked at the moon for just a single second, and then, as if he had made a decision, finally looked back to the demon lord’s body.
“I won’t thank you, though.”
He said as he held the demon lord’s heart up high, and then released it, letting it fall into his mouth. He chomped down on it as strongly as he could, it barely even fitting into his mouth, making a mess on himself of blood and meat. But he devoured it. And as he did, the demon lord’s body finally stopped moving altogether.
…With the absorption of the old into the new, this meant that Raz was now the new demon lord. And yet, there was no one to clap for him.
In this lonely kingdom, there was absolutely no one that would really clap for him for achieving this. There was no one that would congratulate him for going from a human, to a villain, to a demon lord. There was no one to even invite to a celebratory party in this kingdom.
But he didn’t mind. He was only a demon lord in name only. He didn’t need the people or the territory; only the power that came with it. The kind of power that he could really control, the kind of power that could really bring the kind of happiness that he wanted.
…With this, the contract with the previous demon lord was over, and now he could speak exactly what he felt. He knew the magic that he had with Erik would be hard to keep using, and Erik wouldn’t be the only person in his world. He knew that very well.
So he would use this new magic.
It is not strong enough to convey the feelings of a person. Absolutely no magic is that strong.
But even so, even if it was imperfect…it was still there. Even if it could only be used as a crutch until he was able to become stronger and better, it was…there.
A most blessed magic.
--
“You sure took your time. I told you I should’ve been the one to go get it.” The jaguar boy said as Raz finally arrived, practically out of breath as he was running nonstop. “You okay?”
“Hah, of course I am. Don’t underestimate me.” He sat down on the chair that Erik had faithfully kept for him. “I’d ask if you already picked something, but you’re probably going for bubblegum or strawberry, right? Or maybe chocolate this time?”
“I’m ordering one with three balls, so I’ll have all three of them~!” Erik replied cheerfully, and then after a while remembered he wasn’t the one paying. “I mean, uh, bubble…gum…?” He started scratching his cheek as he looked at the menu again. However, Raz only giggled in response.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it. It’s a demon lord’s job to look after his comrades.” He said, chest slightly puffed out in pride. It looked incredibly silly to Erik, and he didn’t know what that was all about. There was a slight glimmer in Raz’s eyes, though.
“…Well, then just this once, please do treat me, my good sir. I need the reinforcement, or my magic will run dry.” Imitating a surly old man, Erik replied to Raz, playing along with his roleplaying. And they giggled just a bit before continuing on to have their ice cream.
If only being a demon lord really was a joke!
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ANOTHER AUTHOR’S NOTE BECAUSE I’M A SHIT
AHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK MY ASS IT’S DONE SUCK MY DICK AHAHAHAHHAHHAH
Look. This took me so much time to write. I don’t even remember how my first author’s note was but I’m pretty sure if you compare this one to it you’ll notice a striking resemblance. THIS IS FUCKING DONE, I AM SO GLAD. Holy shit. Hoooooooooooly shit. About fucking time.
There are lots of things that, even while I was writing WEEKS ago, I noticed I should probably have changed it. And I said “no fuck that”. I said the same thing finishing this today. I literally do not give a single shit anymore. One day I’m gonna reread this and if I feel like it needs a rewriting I’m gonna rewrite that shit so hard the demon lord’s gonna be like YOOO but nah. Right now? Right now it’s done and it’s perfect.
“wahhh why did you include magic” BECAUSE IT’S COOL, FUCK YOU
“wahhh i don’t understand” REREAD THAT SHIT
“wahhh—“ NAH
(just kidding I doubt anyone reads this and is invested enough into it to even criticize or complain about it. But if you do feel like doing it, please do so. But with a tinge of kindness. Pleeeeeeeease. Give This Poor Man A Break)
ANYWAY. Fuck it. My characters are so cute, I want to squish their cheeks. You see that shit? You see it? Fuck, I love Raz. Cute shitty little birb. How cute. Erik too. I didn’t get to shoehorn in any of the other characters even as little cameos but that’s good because I have no shitting idea where I’m going with them. rolls
EITHER WAY. I hope you’ve enjoyed it. Seriously. This isn’t really even an author’s note, more like a loser’s note AHAHAH okay but. Enjoy it. Pretty please. Rec it to a friend if you really like it. Hint hint. Even if you don’t like this one please rec my other stuff. I am so thirsty for people to read my works you don’t even know. When was the last time I did a promo again? Christ. Anyway wow!!!! Yeah!!! thanks!!! STUFF
