I’m here visiting
I haven’t been on Tumblr in a long time now. I made new associations with it and away from it (forgot my password as well, ha). I used to love it here, mostly because I could leave my secrets and know not many people would see them. I could leave my thoughts here, and maybe that’s why I left -- I wanted to tuck them away and forget. But I’m alone now, and my hands are trembling to feel a shovel’s handle, to bury my thoughts again, to fill in some void that, ironically, I’ve dug with my own hands. I just want it to be easier now, wash away the dirt, plant a garden perhaps. I wish I could speak like I write but I’m constantly running out of time to make sense of my thoughts. But I think it’s important to string these words together, because even as I type I’m starting to feel little weights detaching from my mind. It feels good to splatter it somewhere, you know? I look back and see a different person writing, liking, posting. I see bits of myself too, but I want to say that it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to find comfort in familiarity, and be nostalgic, especially if it helps with closure. Looking back on this ever changing sea of posts, I’m hopeful that I too will drown in it, get lost, wash up again as an old memory, or just become a castaway. It’s what you wanted right?
Take care. Sincerely, Me
