Update
It’s been like. Four years since I touched this blog.
And a lot has changed.
I’ve fully accepted and realized my identity as a queer man. I had to drop out of school due to my health. I’m slowly pursuing my education. I have a solid place to live and I can afford takeout sometimes!
Things are far from perfect. I still struggle with being suicidal more often than not. I’m struggling to get therapy. I’m struggling to get my medications in order. There’s a really loud mouse in my wall.
But it’s all... manageable now. I’m 19 now. I’m getting my GED this fall, and I’m going to be learning to drive.
Sometimes I still feel hopeless, like nothing will ever change, but. Looking back on this blog... things have gotten so much better, for me and my fmaily
When I was using this blog the most I was at one of the worst times in my life. I was losing relatives. I became homeless. Everything was falling apart around me. Hell: I was having some of my first psychotic symptoms.
But this blog really was a brightspot in all of this. And so were the friends I made along the way.
Undertale, in a lot of ways, saved me. Really, it did.
For one. It taught me I like to write.
Before this, the only time I’d ever written was when my groomer wanted me to write for him. He wanted me to write smut. Horrible things between adults and kids. I was his personal erotica generator. That was my only experience with writing before this.
But then I made this blog. Then I tried out writing for myself.
And it freed me.
Still, this blog has a lot of bad memories attached to it, so I’m not going to be coming back. Nor am I going to delete it. I’m making a compromise. I’m taking the stuff I want to keep for the sake of it, I’m editing pages to reflect this, and then I’m leaving this here.
As a memorial to what freed me. Old and embarrassing though it may be.
Thank you to all of you.
If you’d like to follow my new, personal blog, please DM me.