The Road to Confidence

I hope to not only record my journey to becoming a more confident person, but maybe test out some of my strengths as well. Here you'll find a flurry of witty musings, short stories, silly puns, whimsical photography, day brighteners, and day-to-day commentary by me.

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Please

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I just want to make friends this year. Just one. Is that too much to ask? Apparently is was last year.

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It's the river of Lost Dreams and I am sailing down it on a small boat named Confusion, and fittingly so. The tiny wooden life raft has a leak and I am sinking fast. But the nearest island is Solitude. I hope I make it.

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Confession: I've never kissed anyone.

I've never had a cavity either though, so I think we know who the real winner is.

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I wish I wrote a different song no one’s ever heard. I wish my mom would just admit she’s sick of every word. Overplayed, overstayed, it was a smash hit. Funny how overplayed songs sound like crap. I was told our true fans don’t like this song. But I hope they sing along. I hope they sing along.

Tyler Joseph, changing the words from original song - Stressed Out

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Exhibit A of how much I love combining my writing skillz with my love for cheesy inspiration. (the black spots are my name which I won't say quite yet, I'm not that confident lol)

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Making You Smile

One of my favorite things to do is make people smile. Whether I am telling them a funny story, a joke, or simply cheering them up. It's well known in my multiple friend groups that I am not a fan of drama. I love to hear it, and I love to gossip, but I DO NOT want to be a part of it. So, it is very rare that my friends open up to me with problems. In all honesty, this disappoints me. I love coming up with cheesy inspirational quotes to pick people back up and set them on their feet. I love drying their tears, wiping the smile back on their face and pushing them back down the road. My friend was having a rough time once complaing how no one loved her and how she was ugly. I sent this girl a papers worth of words convincing her she wasn't. I love my friends. They can come to me for anything. I hope they know that.

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The Quiet Comedian

I hate describing myself. Who I am, who I was… I hate that shit. But, I know who I want to be. I know what I want to be known for after I die (at the ripe old age of 250 lol science needs to hurry up plz and thnx). I want to be known as the funny one. The one who could bring a smile to anyones face anytime of day and in any situation. I just want to make people happy.

I love when my friends describe me as funny or hilarious. Nothing warms my heart more. Tonight, I was talking to someone about how when they first met me, I was so quiet and shy and how I never talked. She replied that I probably didnt really start to talk until a year and a half after we met and it was damn shame because she said I am hilarious.

And you know what? It is a damn shame. It’s a damn shame that we live in a society that has made me so afriad to be who I am that I can’t even do what I love most: make people laugh. It took me a year and a half to show them my real self. A year and a half!

I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be confident. I want to introduce myself and be funny from the start. Not quiet and shy. That’s not who I am!

You have one life. ONE. You don’t get do-overs and more often than not, you don’t get second chances. So fucking what if someone doesn’t like the real me. I don’t need unaccepting people like that in my life anyway.

I am sick of being shy. I am sick of worrying if people like me. I am sick of my lack of confidence.

I’m done.

I will be funny. I will be true to who I am. I will be confident.

Life is too short not to be.

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I'm shy when you meet me...

I actually quite shy when you first meet me. I'll probably introduce myself, but I won't say much. I'll probably compliment your shoes and ask what you like, but I won't carry on the conversation. I'm kind of awkward and shy, which is weird because that's not who I am at all! Once we are friends, and I feel comfortable enough, you'll get to see the real me. I'm crazy and I am confident and I LOVE to make people laugh. I am an entertainer, a writer and a downright funny friend. I am willing to embarrass myself to make you smile and I can be the butt of my own jokes just to wipe the tears off your face. But you wouldn't know it at first sight. Those who put time and effort into their friendships get the most out of them.

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I love Tinder and apparently I love poetry XD

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"You're such a virgin."

Thanks to the guy who told me this the other day. Yeah, the stuff I am into is a little nerdy. And sure it may seem weird to you, but I like it. And how do my likes and dislikes have anything to do with getting laid? I don't like the negative connotation. If I am a virgin. Who cares? If I'm not. Who cares? I'll like what I like and I'll do as please, thank you very much.

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I found an old story that I wrote when I was 16. It's pretty decent and I wanna know what happens next but I never finished the damn thing. And I guess what happens next is whatever I want to happen, but what if me now doesn't want the same thing to happen that past me wanted to happen?

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There are over 7 billion people in the world. With numbers like that you're never truly alone. And you're not weird either. Someone else probably does whatever it is you do, too.

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"What's your major?"

Them: What's your major? Me: Communication! Them: Oh so it's not a real major... No. I'm not pre-med, or an engineer, or a math guru, or a science geek. But you know what? My major is just as real as yours. I may not have to go to 5+ years of schooling just to get my degree, but you know what? My major is just as real as yours. You're not better than me because you're "smarter." I am following my passion. I am trying to live my dreams. And in one sentence, you've crushed me. You may be a mechanical engineer. But guess what? My major is just as real as yours. Sure, school is harder for you. I can't disagree there. But while you sweat over 50 optional math problems, I have 6 papers and a speech due next week. I have to design a logo for a company that doesn't exist and shoot exactly 5 minutes worth of video on a topic that has yet to be determined. And you know what? My major is just as real as yours. You'll find a job after school easily. No sweat. There's always a need for people like you. But guess who has to work for it? Guess who has to network and communicate and design and lose sleep at night? The person with the "fake" major. You see. I may not have a "real" major in your eyes. To you, all my video projects and creative essays may seem like child's play compared to your lab reports and calculus equations. But it's what I am good at. Its what I like. It's what I am passionate about. Just like you. You're at one end of the spectrum and I am at the other. But that doesn't make either of us any less or more important than each other. Now that you know a little more about me. Can't you agree? My major IS JUST AS REAL AS YOURS.

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The Road to Confidence

I recently told myself that I wasn’t going to care what people think of me anymore. I wouldn’t regret the things that I said, and I sure as hell wouldn’t dress for other people, I was going to dress for ME. I was going to listen to music I liked, and I would no longer be sorry or apologetic for the things that make me who I am.

I guess this blog is my further attempt to do just this. To not only prove to myself that I can be more confident, but to record all my accomplishments and all my mistakes down the road. If anyone ever happens across this, feel free to take this journey with me. 

It’s gonna be long and it’s going to be hard, but it will hopefully be one hell of a ride. (*cough* that’s what she said *cough*) And no, I am not sorry that I put a dirty joke in here.

“If you can dance and be free and not be embarrassed, then you can rule the world.” - Amy Poehler