empty dreams ➵ d.m.
you accidentally slip in draco’s bed instead of your boyfriend’s for some cuddles.
pairing: draco malfoy x y/n (slytherin) x blaise zabini
summary: draco has had a soft spot for you since year 3 but has to conceal it because his best mate starts dating you. it becomes harder to deal with after a heart-fluttering instance, making draco’s life quite a bit more miserable.
contains: 3.5k words of angst and draco being a simp. NO cheating!! set in year 6 with no voldy. :)
song recs: dancing on my own - calum scott, hold me while you wait - lewis capaldi, somebody else - the 1975 (i listened to these songs and a few others for inspo)
Draco was terribly in love with his best mate’s girlfriend and it irritated him to no end.
The infatuation started long before Blaise asked Y/N out, and to be honest, Draco had no clue exactly when it started. All he knew was that during his third year he began taking notice of the way your eyes sparkled with mirth, the way your hair caught the sunlight, the way your dimples lingered on your face after hearing a witty remark, and the way you showed selfless concern for everyone without being afraid to speak your mind. After that, he found it hard to focus on anything else but the beat of his pounding heart when you were talking to him.
Draco never made a move because he was scared of losing your friendship. Y/N, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Daphne, Theodore, along with Crabbe and Goyle were the most tight-knit friend group in Slytherin. So it was easy for Draco to use the excuse of “keeping the friend group intact” and avoid ever confronting his feelings about you. Unfortunately for Draco, Blaise didn’t share the same sentiment and asked Y/N on a date to Hogsmeade a few weeks ago.
~
You were chattering with Daphne and Pansy in the common room about the absurdity of the latest “Quibbler” when you heard someone approach you three.
“Hey ladies, mind if I borrow Y/N for a moment?” Blaise flashed a charismatic smile at the trio and extended his arm to Y/N. You glance at the girls in surprise before taking Blaise’s hand.
“No, not at all!” Daphne and Pansy share knowing looks while giggling.
Feeling quite out of the loop, you follow Blaise outside of the common room, not sure what to expect.
He gently let go of your hand once you two reached an empty hallway. Blaise turned around to face you and took a deep breath.
“So I’ve been wanting to tell you for some time now..I find you very attractive,” He said these words slowly while observing your reaction. “I’d love to get to know you more and take you on a date to Hogsmeade, if you’re okay with that?”
Your were shocked by his proposal because you had never imagined Blaise Zabini to have feelings for you. You knew how many girls would wait nervously outside his classes hoping to catch a glimpse of him. You and your friends would even roll your eyes at the sight and tease Blaise about having a “fan club”.
After getting over the shock, you looked at Blaise and thought about his words seriously. “Blaise is really attractive,” you noted the way his jumper with rolled up sleeves perfectly fit his body. “And I do always have a good time with him,” you added on after thinking of his sly humor and good-natured personality.
“I’d be honored.”
~
Draco winced at the memory of the start of you and Blaise’s relationship. He worried that Blaise would follow his old pattern of dating girls just to dump them a few weeks later, but everyone else in the group assured him that he was overthinking. He had congratulated Blaise with a forced smile and a pat on the back while fuming inside. He couldn’t exactly blame Blaise though, it’s not like he confided to Blaise about his crush on you.
Which is the reason why Draco is currently doing his best to remain focused on Professor Snape’s drawling voice and not look at you whispering to Blaise from the corner of his eyes.
Blaise looked as charming as ever in his signature look—a dark green jumper with rolled up sleeves over a collared shirt, with his Slytherin tie poking out slightly. You looked like a princess with your flowing [y/h/c] hair and the green headband nestled snugly on the top of your head. You ditched the jumper and were just wearing a collared shirt with a Slytherin tie along with the normal green plaid skirt and knee-high socks.
The sight of you two looking so attractive together made Draco feel cold and glum inside. And it didn’t help that the classroom was actually chilly and gloomy.
“You’d think they’d be able to at least afford some bloody heat lamps in this place, but I guess not.” Draco mumbled to himself in annoyance while blowing on his hands and rubbing them together. He was wearing the normal Slytherin uniform complete with a long cloak, but with a few special touches that displayed his status. He had a small snake enamel pinned on his tie that complimented the snake signet ring he always kept on his right ring finger.
Most of the students at least made the effort to seem like they were focused on the greasy-haired professor, unlike you and Blaise. Snape finally noticed this and focused his eyes on you two.
“Today we will be attempting to make the Elixir of Euphoria to practice for your NEWT level exams. It is a highly advanced potion so I suggest all of you give it your full attention.” Snape waved his cloak dramatically and glared at Y/N and Blaise.
“I am talking about you two, Miss. Y/L/N and Mr. Zabini. Or is whatever you’re so feverishly discussing more urgent?” Snape’s comment earned a scoff from Draco while the whole class looked back at the couple.
“No, professor. Sorry.” You and Blaise grinned sheepishly and moved slightly apart, eyes gleaming when you exchanged glances.
It physically pained Draco to see you two act so close. He wished that he could be the one to bring a smile to your face, to shower you with affection, and to spoil you endlessly with his wealth. And he wished you could be his person to comfort him when he felt down, to run your hands through his silky platinum hair, and to assure him that he was enough and everything was okay.
But these were all delusions, and all he could presently do was sulk and twirl his ring while he fixed his gaze to the front of the room.
Snape huffed and turned around to stand behind his desk. He tapped his cauldron two times with his wand, filling it up with a glowing yellow substance that resembled sunlight.
“Your instructions are on the board along with some tips, and your ingredient list is in your textbook.” Snape flicked his wand at the blackboard, revealing intricate steps in tiny font that filled up the entire board. The class groaned at the sight and reluctantly opened their dusty books.
Daphne worked with Pansy, Crabbe paired up with Goyle, and of course you partnered up with Blaise, which left Theodore unlucky enough to face Draco’s wrath.
Theodore slipped in the seat beside Draco and slapped him on his shoulder.
“I really hope you know what you’re doing, because I bloody well don’t.” Theodore chuckled, hands crossed behind his head while leaning back in the chair.
“Of course you don’t. Just try not to get in the way, yeah?” Draco snapped impatiently and squinted to read the board.
“Sounds perfect to me,” Theodore dismissed Draco’s attitude for his usual cynicism. He absentmindedly looked around in the classroom, eventually spotting you and Blaise.
“Oi, Y/N and Blaise are snogging!” He pointed out, entertained by the sight of some of his closest friends kissing.
Draco smashed the shrivelfig to a fine powder before realizing that he meant to only chop it. He cursed under his breath and reached for a new one.
Theodore noticed Draco’s strange temper and remarked, “What’d the shrivelfig do to you, mate?” Draco glared at him, causing Theodore to raise his hands in defeat and back away from the cutting board.
Draco couldn’t resist peeking at you two and immediately regretted it after he confirmed you two were indeed getting cozy. He sneered in distaste before feeling his heart ache painfully. Draco tried to ignore the ache as best as he could and resolved to focus on his potion.
...
“Let’s see if any of you possess the talent of a potion-brewer.”
Potions class was finally coming to an end, and Snape wandered around to check everyone’s results. Only a few cauldrons resembled the desired bright yellow color and Draco’s was sadly not one of them. Draco and Theodore stared at their dark orange concoction while exchanging grimaces.
“You may try a sip of your elixir. It should induce silly giggles and an overall mood-boost.” Snape observed you and Blaise’s sunshine-yellow potion, showing silent signs of approval as he glided away.
Draco scowled at the sight and downed a whole bottle of his own potion out of pure spite. After a few moments of regret and apprehension, his nose started to bleed profusely.
“Ahh, what’d you do that for?” Theodore hastily handed a towel to Draco, who groaned and leaned his head back to slow down the flow.
“Nothin’...thought it’d be safe.” Draco’s voice became nasally due to the blood spouting from his nose.
“Mr. Malfoy, please see Madam Pomfrey before you bleed out in my class.” Snape glanced down at Theodore and Draco, tilting his head at the door.
“Yes, sir.” Draco muttered while covering his nose with a towel, passing by you and Blaise on the way out.
“Hey, Draco’s got a bloody nose!” Blaise pointed out in amusement while you giggle next to him. Normally Draco would respond with a witty jab, but he really wasn’t in the mood to do so.
“Shove off, Blaise,” Draco spat in a hostile manner, feeling ashamed at his disposition. He proceeded to hurriedly exit the room, leaving you and Blaise confused.
“Maybe his elixir had the opposite effect?” Blaise shrugged it off.
...
It was night-time and Draco had visited Madam Pomfrey’s three times to no avail.
“I’ve told you this already but I’ll repeat myself once more, Mr. Malfoy. You’re just going to have to let it bleed out by itself.” She passed him several blood-replenishing potions to drink over the course of the night.
“What’s the use of a healer if they advise you to bleed out?” Draco thought in annoyance before accepting the potions.
Blaise offered Draco to switch beds to be closer to the bathroom, in case he were to keep bleeding throughout the night. Draco accepted begrudgingly, annoyed at how his feelings for you made it difficult for him to fully appreciate Blaise’s kind actions.
Though he knew it wasn’t Blaise’s fault, Draco couldn’t help but be bitter towards his best mate.
“It must be the jealousy,” Draco admitted sullenly while laying on Blaise’s bed, observing how he was facing the windows of the Black Lake instead of his usual position of lying next to them.
The lake lapped at the windows soothingly, giving the dorm room a dappled green glow. The room had several mahogany four-poster beds and was decorated lavishly thanks to the generous donations by Slytherin alumni. Draco was the only one in the room so it was filled with a peaceful silence that implored sleep.
Draco’s sleepy haze caused his mind to unconsciously drift to images of you and Blaise. How you two would hold hands while walking to class, jokingly feed each other food in the Great Hall, and even kiss during Potions. He irritatedly turned over, forcing himself to focus on anything else.
After listening to to the waves of the lake for a few more minutes, he couldn’t help but give in to the pull of sleep.
“Stop it!” Y/N flustered and pushed his chest. “It’s a common mistake.”
Draco chuckled and held your wrist. He pulled you closer to him and took advantage of his towering height over you by tilting your chin up.
“Don’t worry, darling. I found it quite endearing.” He smirked at the blush in your cheeks. He reached down to wrap his hands over your waist, feeling your hards cross over his neck.
Draco indulged in the smell of your hair, taking in the clean notes of your perfume. He hugged you tighter, not wanting to pull apart.
Draco was waken up from his dream by the sound of a yelp and opened his eyes groggily. To his surprise, he met the [y/e/c] eyes of Y/N, who seemed even more taken aback than him.
Draco immediately backed away, bewildered at how this happened.
“Draco! Why are you in Blaise’s bed?” Your eyes were wide open and Draco inappropriately noted how they were even more beautiful close up. You slid off the bed before turning around to face Draco with your arms crossed. You were still clad in your normal uniform while he was in a loose white tee and gray sweatpants.
“He switched with me so I can get to the bathroom quicker because my nose keeps bleeding.” After saying this, he felt blood rush to his head that was undoubtedly about to come out of his nose. Draco sat up on the bed, feigning ease in the hope that it was an illusion.
“Why’d you pull me closer then?” You asked curiously, embarrassed that you accidentally climbed in bed with the platinum blonde boy.
“I don’t know, it was a dream, Y/N! Why would I push someone away in a dream?” Draco threw his hands up exasperatedly, also embarrassed that he unknowingly cuddled you.
You felt your lips curve upward, finding the situation humorous. Draco saw this and started grinning too. To his horror, blood began spurting out of his nose, making him rush to the bathroom. Y/N followed him closely, both worried and curious at his infliction.
After reaching the sink and letting the blood out, Draco exhaled in relief. He turned to his side and looked into your eyes, suddenly resisting the urge to laugh. You looked so cute looking up at him with wide-eyed concern. You meet his eyes with a grin and you two finally laughed freely at the ridiculousness of the whole situation.
“I’m sorry that I made you uncomfortable, Y/N. I’ll be more careful next time I switch beds with Blaise.” Draco teased while playfully nudging your shoulder.
You shifted your weight on your feet and shook your head, “No, it was my fault too. I should’ve checked the hair color before getting in bed.” You reached up to ruffle Draco’s fluffy white-blonde hair amusedly.
Draco felt his heart involuntarily skip a beat at the sudden contact and shifted away from Y/N. He cursed himself internally for showing signs of his infatuation and couldn’t bring himself to make a response.
“Um...You wouldn’t happen to know where Blaise is right?” Y/N broke the silence, perplexed at the sudden awkwardness.
Draco tensed at the mention of Blaise.
“No.” He replied coldly before walking back into the room without making eye contact with you. He sat on the edge of the bed, deliberately gazing towards the windows of the lake and nowhere else.
You were puzzled at the sudden coldness but didn’t dwell on it, assuming he was moody because of his pesky predicament.
“Alright, I’m gonna go find him.” You tentatively walked to the door of the dorm. “Feel better, Draco!” You gave him a small smile before leaving the room and closing the door with a soft click.
Draco waved slightly, not wanting to reveal any more emotions. After making sure you had left, he threw himself on the bed frustratedly. It didn’t help his obsession that he felt the emptiness of the bed more clearly now. It also didn’t help that he has a memory of your eyes close up. It definitely didn’t help that he remembered the scent of your perfume.
He sighed before turning over, silently vowing to let go of his feelings for you, both for his sake and Blaise’s. His vows were greeted by the silence of the dorm, quiet except for the gentle lapping of the lake.
He didn’t think it was possible, but the ache in his heart grew.
“It’s got to get worse before it gets better, right?” Draco sighed once more, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
...
Months go by, and Draco was proud at how he successfully suppressed his feelings. You no longer took up the majority of his thoughts and he could finally return to being his snarky self with Blaise.
Draco hung out with the group as if nothing was wrong, and no one seemed to notice anything different. The group maintained the old dynamic of sarcasm and witty humor, reflecting Draco’s wish of “keeping the friend group intact”.
He was strolling around with his buddies in his usual air of haughtiness when he noticed Pansy and Daphne quietly whispering about you in the corner of a hallway.
“...Can’t believe Blaise said that..Poor Y/N...” They sighed, clearly worried about what happened to you.
Draco’s felt a familiar tightening in his heart he thought he got rid of. He ditched his other friends and walked towards the two, apprehensive to learn about what happened.
“What’d he do?” Draco demanded, his imperative demeanor taking Pansy and Daphne by surprise.
“I’m not sure if she’d want us to tell anyone yet.” Daphne hesitated, unsure of what to say.
When Draco realized they weren’t going to give up any clues he scowled and strode off, deciding to ask you himself.
He walked briskly in the stone hallways of the castle, thinking of places you could be. He knew you loved the stars, but it was still bright outside, so there was no reason for you to be in the Astronomy Tower. He knew you loved the serene setting of the Black Lake, but it was bound to be infested with underclassmen on a sunny day like this, which you wouldn’t like. He realized you must be in the garden, recalling the way you always looked at the flowers in adoration.
He picked up his pace and walked swiftly in the direction of the garden. His thoughts made him restless on the way there, “What could Blaise have done?”
He added another thought hastily, “What can I do without crossing a line?”
He spotted you in the garden before he figured out the answer to his question.
Draco watched as you sat on a stone ledge directly facing the wisteria flowers. The flowers were not yet in full bloom, so the tree was scattered unevenly with buds and flowers. You distractedly dangled your legs in the air and flourished your wand to enchant flower buds to grow towards you. Your eyes were glossy and your face was tear-stained, but Draco thought he had never seen you look more ethereal.
He reached you in time to see your charm work too ambitiously, making the flowers blossom and wilt in mere seconds. You started to break into tears, hugging your body close. Draco slowly approached you, but you were too busy crying to notice.
“Hey.” Draco said hesitantly.
“Oh! Hi, Draco.” You wiped your eyes furiously and looked up at him. You gave a tiny smile that looked more like a grimace.
The sight of you being so sad made Draco miserable as well, feeling the tug at his heartstrings.
“What happened?” Draco asked in an empathetic tone and took a seat next to you on the ledge, making sure to give you ample space.
“Blaise..broke up with me. He said he just wants to be friends. How could he say that after months?” You said bitterly, tears sliding down your face.
Draco noticed the drops of water gliding down your face and had to use all his willpower to refrain from wiping away your tears. He hated that a guy made you feel like this, especially because it was his best friend.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Draco awkwardly reached out to rub your shoulder in soft circles.
You leaned against his hand on your shoulder, sniffling quietly.
You two stay like this for a while, before Y/N scooted closer to Draco, burying your head in his chest and clutching his white dress shirt while emitting muffled sobs.
Draco’s heart broke at the sight, holding you closer to comfort you. He secretly cursed Blaise out before feeling guilty. He felt like an accomplice as he watched you let your pain out.
How did he let you get hurt?
You cried some more before looking up at Draco with teary eyes.
“I’m sorry for ruining your shirt.” You smiled in an embarrassed manner and moved away from him. He noticed how your lashes were slick with tears and how your nose and cheeks were rosy from crying. He felt his heart rate quicken after glancing at your swollen lips, and quickly averted his eyes before blushing slightly.
“Don’t worry about it.” Draco shrugged nonchalantly. You two look at the wisteria trees, feeling the breeze flow through both of your hair. Draco understood why you liked this spot, it was quiet and came with a stunning view of the trees and flowers. It was a beautiful day out, sunny with some clouds floating lazily. You both bask in comfortable silence.
“I just feel...hollow? Like I'm missing a part of myself,” You confessed eventually, wearily twisting around to look at Draco.
He nodded knowingly, very familiar with the empty feeling you were describing. He turned to make eye contact with your wounded eyes, feeling just as much heartbreak and pain as you did.
Even though Draco hated seeing you with Blaise, he couldn’t help but feel like he hated seeing you heartbroken even more.
a/n: this is the first fic i’ve ever written, so i feel quite nervous publishing it. if you read this far, i appreciate you so so much <33. i’m thinking of writing a sequel to this with more fluff and possibly more focus on y/n’s perspective, so let me know your thoughts! :)
edit!: hi lovelies, i’ve decided to write more parts to this fic! thanks for all the love and lmk if you want to be tagged <3 [read pt.2 here]
(also, i know slughorn should be the potions professor during their sixth year but i just felt like snape fit the story a bit more!)
-k.z.
