Letters for Harper

Mom to Harper. Appreciator of Nonsense. Visit Unscrupulous Man Eater. Email Me

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The Things They Don't Really Tell You When You Have a Baby

As an expectant mom or new mom, you have seen this list in some form before. The "things that no one tells you." Well, most of those lists are missing something. These are some of those missing gems.

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I don't see a whole lot of myself in Harper, so when I saw these photos where we are carrying ourselves in the same manner it made me very happy.  She's more like me than I thought.  Photo Credit:  A friend of mine :)

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Deciphering Harper

Ever since Harper started talking she's been saying "Abi Dabi," and I was always like "Abu Dhabi?  What the hell?"  Now she's saying "Abby Dabby" when referencing (yes, she references shit, what now beeches?) Abby Cadabby and I finally put two and two together and realized that maybe "Abi Dabi" has been "Abby Dabby" this whole entire time. 

Also, she's dressing as Abby Cadabby for Halloween.  I'll be dressing as Rose the Riveter, because fuck yeah I am.

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Conversations with Harper

Harper: What dat, Mommy?

Me: A nail file.

Harper: Why, Mommy?

Me: To file nails. And to bust out of jail.

Harper: Bus yail?

Me: Yup.

[buddhabrot]

[shavingryansprivates-deactivate]

I LOVE TINY VERSIONS OF NORMALLY REGULAR SIZED THINGS

[ironarya]

well you are gonna just adore my penis

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Reblogging for the ^comment!  Bahaha!

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My Toddler is a Jerk

BFF: How's Baby MJ doing?

Me: UM! Did I tell you she bit a kid at the sitter's the other day? TWICE!

BFF: What the heck?! Why'd she do that?

Me: Because she's a jerk!

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To All the Parents:

Carter's is having their Labor Day sale, everything is 50% off with an extra 25% off clearance items (in store and online). Osh Kosh is also having their Labor Day sale and everything is 60% off!

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Yours truly!

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Why? Why? Why? Why?

I think we can all agree that the "why phase" of toddlerhood is annoying as hell.  Saturday, however, Harper's "why" questions took a turn for the sad...annoying.

Harper:  My Gigi go? Me:  Gigi went to heaven.  She's a star in the sky. Harper:  Why? Me:  She died. Harper:  Why? Me:  She got sick. Harper:  Why? Me:  I don't know, honey.  I'll probably never know.

Five minutes later...

Harper:  My Gigi go? Me:  Gigi went to heaven.  She's a star in the sky. Harper:  Why? Me:  She died. Harper:  Why? Me:  She got sick. Harper:  Why? Me:  I don't know, honey.  I'll probably never know.

And so forth and so on.  Le sigh...

[unscrupulousmaneater-blog]

The ring is no longer on my finger, though sometimes I can still feel it. I am no longer living in MM’s house. Harper is back-and-forth between us. One week with Daddy, one week with Mommy and visits in between.

The beginning of the end was in April. We returned from a family vacation...

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What Moms Wear Top: Target Jens: The Limited Sandals: Target Necklace: Brina Box Bracelet: Brina Box Ring: No clue

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If you missed Part One, read it here.

I was baked. (Though surprisingly not drunk. Not even a little bit.) And like most people who’ve recently danced with Mary Jane I was starving. I sat on the floor of my kitchen, my back against the cabinets and divulged in cold pizza. I ate a lot...

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Abby Pendleton went missing on June 30, 2013.  She was last seen in the Red Mill area of Virginia Beach, VA.  PLEASE REBLOG THIS PHOTO.

As a parent--and a blogger--I think it is imperative that my fellow parents spread the word about missing children.

Thank you for sharing.

[veggielezzyfemmie-blog]

What’s The Dumbest Thing You Could Say To A Congresswoman Who Lost Her Legs In Battle? Um, THIS.

  An IRS contractor hurt his foot playing football in military prep school. He never served in the actual military. Then one day, decades later, he used it to get preferred treatment in military contracts. Rep. Tammy Duckworth (D-Ill.), who lost both her legs and still could lose her arm from combat injuries, felt that this might just be a touch inappropriate. It gets amazing around 4:30.

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Get it girrrrl.

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Epic Fail At Radford University

You've spent four years toiling at Radford University. You've doubled and triple-checked your papers to make sure you haven't made any small mistakes.

*I* am Radford.  No, seriously.  I went to Radford.  It was a mistake, now everyone stfu and don't forget to dot your I's.  Bwahaha!

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My fellow parents will appreciate this: I am sporting a Cookie Monster band-aid. And because mommy has a boo-boo that means Harper has a boo-boo (although she doesn't) and is also sporting a Cookie Monster band-aid.

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Life is Getting In the Way

And that's a GOOD thing.  I've been away from tumblr forever it seems.  I haven't been keeping up with my dash and I haven't even thought about posting.  Sorry, kids.  I'll be back soon.  Love to you all.