Letters for and to the abyss

I post some of the stuff from my notes app. For no one in particular. Just to know it exists somewhere out there, like me :)

[lettersfortheabyss]

Ich stopfe mich voll mit happy ends bis ich breche.

[lettersfortheabyss]

Letters to her

You got me hooked on a certain pain I'm picking at the wounds of my friendships Chasing the rush We fade away, and I seek what is left in others Ruining me If I could do it all again I would have turned away from your smile Lock away my affection

[lettersfortheabyss]

New Crush/ lose control

I'd let you ride the hights of my hormone cocktail going wild You said you've never lost proper control? I can guide you Tune into my darkness, let you claw into my floorboard And scream I got the music Freedom in my violence I want to teach you Not to be scared Of the horrors your insides can dig up Relish in them Own it Oh baby, I'd let you get addicted to the ways I can show you how to fall appart

[lettersfortheabyss]

Letters to her

I am a child of grievance Believing romantic love is like Santa A myth adults make up til their kids are old enough to deal without the illuision of something magical Then I met you With your unapologetic hugs and touches, and your bleeding heart you put in my bruised hands I never dared to believe In forever You planted eternity right into my soul and then let the flower wilt die earth scorched seeds rotten You took forever from me

[lettersfortheabyss]

Letters to her

Your ghost sits right beside me on the train Silent in sadness I still feel you After something died between us Youthful dreams First love without courage I hope you are fine I really do While I continue my jouney And get off the train As if I could ever leave you behind

[lettersfortheabyss]

Things we tell the dark

Things we tell the dark Twisted little truths hidden in our breathing treasure chests Thoughts unuttered in scandalised daylight Tasting delicious desires on our tongues, while we give in to tugging, tangling sensations, movements only known to our bodies when cast in shadows Names whispered, screamed or moaned We are creatures of comfort Tucked in a blanket That is the dark

[lettersfortheabyss]

For I am the breaking of a new Morning Emerged from nightshades and moondust Get down on your knees for me, love And I will teach you How to worship

[lettersfortheabyss]

letters to her

Since your threads are fading from the carpet that is my life, I begin to see all the new colours clews of yarn unravelling and it feels like I'm losing all sense for patterns Today I dreamt of you how you reached out told me how you always thought I was beautiful to you That you're in love with me And I'm the only one for you You know what? For the first time it was a nightmare

[lettersfortheabyss]

Hello, abyss! Nice meeting you, I am looking forward to your loneliness

I always felt wrong

As a kid I thought I thought some fairy would come and take me to a different world, where I belong

As a pre-teen, this fairy became a prince

Then something darker

At 18, I waited for the reaper to gently take my hand and bring me peace

Feelings didn’t seem to fit right in my chest

Their shapes had sharp, prickly edges

I stood in a rainbow ocean and felt like drowning

I poisoned myself to be okay with kissing my friend

It didn’t make me forget who I actually wanted to kiss

In my twenties, I changed so much, so often, to escape the time passing

Choosing to be lost, because I won’t ever be found

As I am getting older, it’s getting harder to live under the illusion that I’m awake while I’m dreaming

Chasing all the things that feel right, collecting them, hoping they’ll make me right

Someday