You should be asleep right now. If I know you, and I do, you’re either reviewing notes for the third time, or staring at a page that stopped making sense an hour ago. Or worse, convincing yourself you’re not doing enough.
Take a breath for me. Just one. I’ll wait. Good. Now listen carefully. You are doing enough. More than enough.
I’ve seen the way you prepare, how seriously you take your work, and how much effort you put in even when you’re tired. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for that.
If I were there, I’d have taken your notes from your hands by now and told you to rest... And you would have protested. You always do.
I heard something from you before I left that hasn’t quite left my mind. About keeping my photo as your wallpaper. And how you think looking at it first thing in the morning brings you luck.
Honey… If that were true, I would have made sure you had something far better than a photo by now. Still, I can’t say I dislike the idea.
The thought of being the first thing you see when you wake up…
the last thing before you fall asleep… it’s more comforting than I expected.
But don’t rely on luck. Not when everything you need is already yours. Your effort. Your focus. Your persistence. Those are what will carry you through your exams. Not me. (Though… if looking at me helps, I won’t object)
I imagine you at your lab bench. Focused, but just a little distracted. Maybe your mind drifting for a moment before you pull yourself back. You’ve always had that way about you, bright, curious, pulled toward everything at once. It’s something I admire. Even if it means I have to remind you to take care of yourself in between.
Eat properly. Not just something quick between chapters. And sleep. Yes, sleep. That’s not a suggestion.
You once told me, half joking, that you wished I had been your professor. I remember the look on your face when you said it. Far too earnest for something you claimed was just a passing thought.
If I had been… I doubt you would have found it as charming as you think. I wouldn’t have gone easy on you. I would have expected more. Held you to a higher standard. Watched you closely to make sure you reached it.
…Though I suppose you wouldn’t have minded that. And perhaps, I would have allowed myself small indulgences. Keeping you a little longer after class under the pretense of helping you review. Walking you through concepts you already understood, just to hear you talk.
But that’s not the situation we’re in. And maybe that’s for the best. I prefer this. Being able to call you mine without restraint.
This trip has been… productive. Busy enough to keep me occupied. But not enough to stop me from thinking about you. Especially at night.
When things quiet down, and I find myself wondering if you’ve finally gone to sleep… or if you’re still awake, pushing yourself further than you should.
I passed by a small shop earlier. Nothing particularly remarkable. But there were a few things that made me think of you. I haven’t decided yet. I’d rather choose something you didn’t know you wanted, something that fits you so well you can’t help but smile when you see it.
Consider it motivation. Finish your exams. Take care of yourself. And when I return, I’ll place it in your hands myself. Until then… Be good for me, honey.
And the next time you unlock your phone in the morning, don’t just look at my picture and hope for luck. Remember what I’ve told you. You don’t need it.
And when I do, I expect to hear everything. Every detail. No matter how long it takes you to tell it.
