Unfinished Romance

Coincidence led me to them

[letterstothem]

Again

"I want to love me so much that it won't matter even if I like someone it won't compromise my happiness"

[firehawkyoga]

Maybe not all empty space is meant to be filled. I’ve learned to shift my mentality and then my ways so that I no longer wish to fill myself just to be full. I take more care to choose who and what I want in my surroundings and to be sharing energy with. I choose the food that gives me vitality and strength. I do not feel empty when I don’t have what I want anymore, feeling at peace with what I do have, experiences I’ve shared and the love I’ve felt. My empty spaces within are not full of loss, but open to opportunity and abundance. (at Firehawk)

[letterstothem]

A Dance

I am bleeding red again…

It has been a month since I met you, a month since we danced...

It is believed that the feeling of love that we harbor for strangers is already encased in us. And at the right time, we release them. But right now I am forced to believe that certain pilgrims carry the key, a particular spell that opens those Pandora boxes, and when we meet them, those boxes break loose and even hope is released. 

Wide and mysterious, full of scents and lights. Lights that shine so bright on our faces leaving streaks of glows in our sorrowed heart.  

[letterstothem]

My Aztec

The illusion of you made me drunk At first it was sweet but then I got drowsy And started saying things like I love you. Words I do not mean. But you, With Your bronzed skin and silky black hair with eyes of marbles.. but you, With your features of an Aztec god, Your feet gliding through the floor as water… Your hands on my back, the warmth of your chest, I might have held on too tightly, But I know you knew what I was thinking, Kiss me

[letterstothem]

Congratulations. 

You have loved, 

you got your heartbroken again. 

[letterstothem]

I want to tell you 

"come see me in San Jose, 

Stay with me a little longer ..." 

so you can bring my dreams  to life 

but that idea breeds so many fears, 

so many vulnerabilities and uncertainties 

[letterstothem]

The simplicity that is you

[letterstothem]

one word took me back, 

to a living memory of you 

so tonight, I am sad I met you 

I wish at that time that I was strong enough to let you go

strangely I told you those same words back then 

but I kept coming back to you 

this sadness appealed to me. 

see I tried loving, I think you bruised me

left me soiled like an untouchable. 

I need to heal, I have healed 

but nights like tonight 

I hate you. all those memories that link me back to you and bring sadness in my life. 

I hate the day I met you the day I decided to be with you 

because I thought I was unloveable 

because I thought I was never going to be able to love you 

I hate you.

[refinery29]

[letterstothem]

The more I seek you

[letterstothem]

goodbye, 

I will always see him in you. 

- letters to B.

[letterstothem]

You can't take me down, you won't take me down

[letterstothem]

Not enough

In the times when I feel like I am Not enough, this constant fight of trying to adjust myself to this world that is cold and yet so warm. I remember you guys, I am grateful for you. All of you!!! Thank you for being pretty darn awesome and for making me awesome too 🙏🏿

[letterstothem]

Night like this When love is fleeting And I feel Unworthy… I remember you How your love was imperfect for me I remember you&lt In nights like this, So I can remember my own worthiness

[letterstothem]

Narrative

Dear B, 

I want to change my narrative, 

maybe it will begin with me accepting that I am a bit neurotic 

but the fortune teller said November 

it is still not here,  

I did put my hope in the stars and you 

All obsessive because you never promised, 

But I remember that night when I decided to be kind to you, 

it felt like it was the right thing to do 

like that night I spent with her, 

when I kissed her neck 

It was the right thing to do. 

but the space between us is steadily growing 

and I am tiring of fighting for my gut feeling 

I think even my intuition has given up 

thank you for that sheer moment of happiness. 

I’ll always think of you fondly 

Sincerely, A.

[letterstothem]

I keep logging in 

hoping that I will find you 

I keep going in 

partly addiction, partly hope 

Partly not knowing what else to do. 

Love & Hate 

in real life, that is all that matter, 

you aren’t here 

and it is almost Christmas, 

one more holiday 

and I am still going in a circle, 

how do I move forward?

[letterstothem]

Late night music