Again
"I want to love me so much that it won't matter even if I like someone it won't compromise my happiness"
YOU ARE THE REASON

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trying on a metaphor
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@letterstothem
Again
"I want to love me so much that it won't matter even if I like someone it won't compromise my happiness"
Maybe not all empty space is meant to be filled. I’ve learned to shift my mentality and then my ways so that I no longer wish to fill myself just to be full. I take more care to choose who and what I want in my surroundings and to be sharing energy with. I choose the food that gives me vitality and strength. I do not feel empty when I don’t have what I want anymore, feeling at peace with what I do have, experiences I’ve shared and the love I’ve felt. My empty spaces within are not full of loss, but open to opportunity and abundance. (at Firehawk)
A Dance
I am bleeding red again…
It has been a month since I met you, a month since we danced...
It is believed that the feeling of love that we harbor for strangers is already encased in us. And at the right time, we release them. But right now I am forced to believe that certain pilgrims carry the key, a particular spell that opens those Pandora boxes, and when we meet them, those boxes break loose and even hope is released.
Wide and mysterious, full of scents and lights. Lights that shine so bright on our faces leaving streaks of glows in our sorrowed heart.
My Aztec
The illusion of you made me drunk At first it was sweet but then I got drowsy And started saying things like I love you. Words I do not mean. But you, With Your bronzed skin and silky black hair with eyes of marbles.. but you, With your features of an Aztec god, Your feet gliding through the floor as water… Your hands on my back, the warmth of your chest, I might have held on too tightly, But I know you knew what I was thinking, Kiss me
Congratulations.
You have loved,
you got your heartbroken again.
I want to tell you
"come see me in San Jose,
Stay with me a little longer ..."
so you can bring my dreams to life
but that idea breeds so many fears,
so many vulnerabilities and uncertainties
The simplicity that is you
one word took me back,
to a living memory of you
so tonight, I am sad I met you
I wish at that time that I was strong enough to let you go
strangely I told you those same words back then
but I kept coming back to you
this sadness appealed to me.
see I tried loving, I think you bruised me
left me soiled like an untouchable.
I need to heal, I have healed
but nights like tonight
I hate you. all those memories that link me back to you and bring sadness in my life.
I hate the day I met you the day I decided to be with you
because I thought I was unloveable
because I thought I was never going to be able to love you
I hate you.
The more I seek you
goodbye,
I will always see him in you.
- letters to B.
You can't take me down, you won't take me down
Not enough
In the times when I feel like I am Not enough, this constant fight of trying to adjust myself to this world that is cold and yet so warm. I remember you guys, I am grateful for you. All of you!!! Thank you for being pretty darn awesome and for making me awesome too 🙏🏿
Night like this When love is fleeting And I feel Unworthy… I remember you How your love was imperfect for me I remember you< In nights like this, So I can remember my own worthiness
Narrative
Dear B,
I want to change my narrative,
maybe it will begin with me accepting that I am a bit neurotic
but the fortune teller said November
it is still not here,
I did put my hope in the stars and you
All obsessive because you never promised,
But I remember that night when I decided to be kind to you,
it felt like it was the right thing to do
like that night I spent with her,
when I kissed her neck
It was the right thing to do.
but the space between us is steadily growing
and I am tiring of fighting for my gut feeling
I think even my intuition has given up
thank you for that sheer moment of happiness.
I’ll always think of you fondly
Sincerely, A.
I keep logging in
hoping that I will find you
I keep going in
partly addiction, partly hope
Partly not knowing what else to do.
Love & Hate
in real life, that is all that matter,
you aren’t here
and it is almost Christmas,
one more holiday
and I am still going in a circle,
how do I move forward?
Late night music