Letterstothepianist

[letterstothepianist]

She stayed out of your shadow for a long time. Afraid to cross paths with you. Despite all of it, she still can't deny the effect you have on her, The kind that sticks with her until she can barely breathe. It's not what she wants. It never was. The whole point of walking away was to create the woman she always aspired to be. To be free. To remove her vulnerability. But seeing you was inevitable. An inevitability she can't ever escape. And right there, she fell to her knees and found herself in the same place where she started. Buried deep down in her broken pieces she tried to run away from. She was ready. Ready to surrender. But her brave little heart whispered in silence. This time, she will not run away. She will finish what she started. Look out for her. Look out for her and you'll see. In time, you'll see.

letterstothepianist

[letterstothepianist]

Promises Dear Mr. Pianist, I only have one wish tonight. Promise me. Promise me everything will be alright. Promise me we'll end up where we can fulfill our purpose. I know promises are meant to be broken. But still promise me. Just promise me. That alone is enough. There's no certainty in it but still I find comfort in promises. They break your heart a lot of times but when they are said, at least for just a split second, I will feel you exist. That I exist. Love, thegirlwholovespromises

[letterstothepianist]

Oblivion Dear Mr. Pianist, Where do I begin? I could tell you many things about my life but I can't. Cause there's nothing to tell. I feel nothing. Except that I miss you. And that has remained the constant feeling in my life. I wonder what you're doing right this second. Are you laughing with her? Watching movies or sipping coffee in this rainy weather? I always wonder about that. I pretend to call it useless things but if it's bothering me that much then I can't consider it useless at all. Right now, I feel like I don't have anyone. I mean I don't have someone to talk to. My friends are going their different paths and my family is there but still I feel like I'm going to explode any moment and no one will seem to notice. Like I could disapper and fade into oblivion. Is that weird? I don't know. Anyway, I'm hoping you're doing fine. I'm hoping I'll be fine too. Love you always. Love, thegirlwhofades

[letterstothepianist]

Lost for words Dear Mr. Pianist, I think I'm having a writers block. I don't know what to write. I lack inspiration. And in times like this, do you know what I do? I go to her instagram page and I stare at your pictures with her. I stare for a long time. Trying to feel something. Hurt, pain. Anything. I saw how happy you were. Your eyes told me everything I need to know. But, as much as I wanted to be hurt, to feel, in order for words to come out, nothing really came to me. The whole time I was thinking, you're happy. And what could I ever do with that? The pain was no more. The sadness, it was there. But it wasn't enough to take me to the depths of poetry. I should be grateful, right? Finally, now I realized I moved on. But I can't help feeling empty. Lonely. Not because you're not here with me. But because, I lost the reason I am writing. I lost the pain, the longing, the fight I was always up against. I lost you. And that alone kills me. My love, I am tired. Weary of wondering if you've ever thought of me as I have with you. And now, though my mind rejoices in your absence, my heart is mourning for my words will never be the same without you. Love, thegirlwiththewritersblock

[letterstothepianist]

Addicted Dear Mr. Pianist, As usual I don’t know where to start. I’m feeling a bit down lately. My self esteem is at its lowest. Some days I get out of it. Some days I soak in it. I mean I know what I want but somehow I don’t how to make it all happen. And it seems like everyone around me just keeps on moving. I, on the other hand, is just standing. I feel like I’m wasting time. What are you doing now? Do you love what you do? These are the questions I often ask myself. I’m so confused and tired and lost. I don’t know what to do. Writing seems to be my therapy but now it seems like I’m addicted to it. Like at any second I could just sink in the whole process of it. Is that weird? I don’t know. I feel like everyone is changing and I can’t keep up with them. Does that really matter? I don’t know. All I know is I want to be at peace with whatever I do. That’s all for now. I miss you always. Love, thegirladdictedtowriting

[letterstothepianist]

Etched Memories Dear Mr. Pianist, How are you? It's been a long since I've written to you. I still miss you. But not like before. Before, I miss you with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes. Now, I miss you like it's normal for me. Like I've accepted the fact that you'll always be a part of me. And forgetting you is useless. You've been etched in my memory and I can't ever undo what happened between us. Whatever happens, I just want us to be happy. Wherever or with whoever we end up with. I don't know when will I ever see you again. But I knows there's a right time for that. Study well. You're going to be a great doctor. I just know it. My love will always be with you. And the last piece of memory I'll hold on to is your music. Love, thegirlwithmemories

[letterstothepianist]

Baby Steps Dear Mr. Pianist, It's been a long time since I wrote to you. It makes me both happy and sad. Sad because I feel like I'm setting you aside, locking you out of my mind and heart. Happy because the need I feel to write to you becomes less and less. Which means I'm making progress of moving on. I've been busy writing other stuff. About other people. I've spent less time writing to you but never writing about you. These days, my hours consist of going to work, writing and working out. I find it very therapeutic. I hope you're doing fine. With your studies and all that. You're going to become a great doctor. I just know it. I still miss you. My mind may be preoccupied with a lot of stuff but it will always spare some space for missing you. I hope she takes care of you and I hope she really makes you happy. Cause if you are, all this anonymous writing is worth it. I'll always love you. Even if we don't end up together, you'll still be my reason to believe that fairytales can become a reality. Take care of yourself. Love, thegirlwhosmovingon

[letterstothepianist]

Her Walls Dear Mr. Pianist, I don't really know where to start. There's so many things I want to say but somehow I couldn't find the right words. With all that's been happening right now, I think I've become thoughtless. I don't know what to feel anymore. I think I have become numb to everything. I'm trying to move forward and fix my life. I'm trying to focus my energy to something else. But somehow, there's longing. I'm not sure what for. But I guess it's for me to find out. I saw your mom the other day. And as usual, I flashed my brightest smile and kissed her on the cheeks. We didn't talk long but in that short time, I felt something. I wondered how it would feel like to be with your family. I wonder what it would feel like if you introduced me to them as your special someone. In that split second, I wondered all of these. I know I promised myself to let you go. That's actually my new years resolution. And believe me when I say, I am trying my hardest. And that resolution include to stop wondering this kind of things. To stop fantasizing of a future with you. Because I'm slowly accepting the fact, that you're happier with someone else. And I'm slowly trying to find my own happiness as well. Although I have to walk alone for a while, I think it's for the best. Because honestly, I'm not ready for love. I still have my walls. I still have my fears. I still have my doubts. And if one day I decide to open up my heart. I'll make sure that I'm armed with courage to take the risk. And not fall in love but to grow with love. I miss you always. Love, thegirlwhostillhasherwalls

[letterstothepianist]

Beau Taplin Dear Mr. Pianist, Happy valentines day! It's been a while since I wrote to you. A lot has happened. I don't even know where to start. I can't say all is better because right now, it's worse. I don't know what to think or feel anymore. I wanted to tell you everything about it but I remembered you're not here. And you don't know I exist. I vowed to let you go. After reading a lot of beau taplin, I realized everything I felt for you was essential. It wasn't all that pretty but I know someday I'm gonna thank you for it. I'm trying hard to move on. To live my life without you. It's been 2 years, and my time has been long overdue. I'll continue writing to you. It helps me. It helps me a lot to get over you. And maybe someday, if I have enough courage I can show you all of these. I know you're not lonely because you have her. And this time, I want me to discover what I deserve. You'll always be my light. But I know now, I have it too. And now, I can be on my own. So, thank you. Love, thegirlwhoshines

[letterstothepianist]

La la Land Dear Mr. Pianist, I can’t sleep tonight. I just finished watching La La Land for the nth time. And the ending makes me cry. It was so unexpected. I wanted them to have a happy ending but somehow their dreams came true and they went on with their separate ways. I was thinking why it had to end that way. It’s supposed to be a movie isn’t it? But in a way, I love its realistic ending. I especially love the soundtrack and the way the piano sounded. It reminded me of you and your music. But a part of it, made me sad. Because I know I’ll never hear your music again. So many things had happened and I just want to move on. Even if it’s hard, I’ll try. I hope you don’t stop creating beautiful melody. The one that touches the heart. I miss you terribly. But all I can do now is move forward. I don’t want to keep living in this past. I don’t want to keep living in this fantasy of you. I’m hoping to hear more beautiful music in the future. And maybe find a new love. I’ll keep this song in my heart and if ever you read this, I hope you know that your music moved my heart every single time. Love, thegirlwhowasmoved

eamnella

[letterstothepianist]

How? Dear Mr. Pianist, It's been a while since I've wrote you. I've been busy at work these past couple of days. And I'm bombarded with thoughts. Thoughts I don't know how to write. It's a feeling I can't explain. Loneliness, longing, sadness. I don't know. But I'm sure I don't pike this feeling. It's like I'm contented but not in a good way. It's like I'm doing this routine things. Things I know can't make me happy. Things I'm doing because it's safe and comforting. Things I know won't make me grow. And everyday I ask myself, what am I doing with my life. I've written a lot of quotes that express freedom and happiness but somehow they remain quotes to me. How do I get out of this mess?? How can I get way from you?? I feel like I'm going in circles. Chasing the same worthless things. Chasing people who don't deserve me. I wanted to get out so badly. But how? Love, thegirlwhoquestions

[letterstothepianist]

Thoughtless Dear Mr. Pianist, It's been raining all week. I love cold weather the most but if it's this long it makes me miss you more than usual. So, I wanted the weather to be sunny now. I have been thoughtless all week. I've been wishing to stop overthinking and sometimes I wished to be numb to everything and I'm afraid that's already happening to me. We still have this problem at the house and I'm surprised that I didn't feel anything. It was like I was cold from the inside. I didn't cry nor feel upset about everyone. I just didn't care anymore. The more I didn't feel anything, the more I couldn't write. And it scares me. It scares me to not write. There was nothing coming out from me. And if I'm thoughtless, you'll surely disappear from me. You see, you are the reason why I write. I don't know what to do now. All I know is, in this place where I stand I will still find you. I'll still find you holding my pen. Love, thegirlwhowrites

[letterstothepianist]

Cold days Dear Mr. Pianist, The mornings are cold again. And I miss the warmth you give me. The rain always remind me of you. The cold breeze of the wind makes me feel your presence. Your presence, that I know won't come. It's weird right? Usually, a person feels most lonely during cold days. But I, on the other hand feels the opposite. It is during the cold days, I feel your existence. The warmth you give me is always greater than the cold weather. But these days, I can't deny the gloomy mood in our house. I have no one to talk to. I feel like the silence is getting louder and louder. And all I could do was add to it. All I could do was write to you. All I could do is pretend you read these letters. I don't expect anything from you. But I often wonder if there was even a single second you think of me. I wonder a lot of things. Useless things. But despite everything, I hope these letters won't be a waste. Cause I hope someday, maybe someday, you'll sit down and read it all. Love, thegirlwholovescoldweather

[letterstothepianist]

K dramas Dear Mr. Pianist, I've been watching a lot of k dramas lately. I think I had the same personality as the main character. She didn't believe in fairytale romance, she always sticks with reality. But I don't think, I can be like her. Cause in the end she realized she can believe in them if she loves someone who believes in them too. After watching, I've come to realize something too. I have seen many people love and be loved. I've seen many people express it in different ways. And the whole time, the word love was vague to me. I didn't know how it felt like or how to express it. Maybe that's why I didn't have the courage to say that to you. I know writing this may seem useless but to me it means a lot. That's why I've decided to be brave. Little by little. Until I can really find what I truly want. My mind changes quickly. I can wake up tomorrow feeling I'm better off without you knowing. But no matter how indecisive I am, I'm certain about you. Live your life fully. Fall in love a lot. And if we are going to meet again, we have something to hold on to. I don't have high expectations from the future but I just hope I'll live my present happily. No matter how hard it is. Take care and live well. And I hope you'll never get tired of reading this in case you do read this. Love, thegirlwholoveskdramas

[letterstothepianist]

Fantasy Dear Mr. Pianist, I saw a picture of you the other day. You were with her. I could see how happy you were. I was surprised because when I saw it, I didn't feel hurt at all. I don't know if its just because I'm so used to that feeling that I don't mind it anymore or I finally moved on from you. I know I'm a coward for not telling you all this in person but everytime I see you happy, my mind and heart agree to let you be. I made the distance between us much greater but it doesn't make me forget one bit that you have her. In a way, I feel relieved. Because I don't want you near me. I don't want you near my walls. Near my darkness. Near my masks. You're too beautiful for all that. So I'll just be here. Watching you from a distance, until I learn to walk away gracefully and accept that some things no matter how we want them, we just can't have them. Maybe I'll meet someone better. Maybe I'm just in love with the idea of you. The fantasy of you in my head. But for now, I'll just think that when I wake up tomorrow, I once loved someone who loved music. Someone gentle and kind. Someone I loved from a distance. Someone real. Take care, my love. Love, thegirlwholovesfantasy

[letterstothepianist]

New Year Dear Mr. Pianist, Happy new year! I wanted to write to you yesterday but I wasn't feeling it. Another year ended without you and I hope this year will be different. I hope this year even if you're not with me, I'll find myself happy and contented with what I have. I may not have you but I'll forever hold our memories in my heart. I don't know when I'll stop writing to you. Perhaps I never will. But when that time comes, I promise to be better. To be happier. Stronger. Braver. And these lessons I learned from loving you. Love, thegirlwhoishopeful

[letterstothepianist]

Pieces Dear Mr. Pianist, It's been a while since I wrote to you. I've been preoccupied with a lot of things going on in my family. I know you are too. Our house is now clouded with silence. Silence I used to love. Silence that used to comfort me. But now, the silence I lean on betrayed me. The silence became deafening. Slowly, I feel like I'm drowning. And slowly, I feel my whole body becoming as cold as ice. Slowly, I'm becoming numb to the pain. Now, I'm trying not to care anymore because if I do, I'm afraid I'll lose all my pieces completely. You know, I realized there's so much to be done. I would give everything to be with you but right now I refuse to. I refuse for you to see this mess. I don't know how long it will take to fix it but I hope that someday you're ready and I am too, we will see each other. For now, I just want to say thank you. Thank you because the piece of my heart that holds you keeps all the other pieces together in the hope of someday becoming whole again. Love, thegirlwhoiscold