@levit - Tumblr Blog

So tumblr sucks

I deleted the email I used to sign up with this and now I‎t says I need to reset my password and can’t so I can only use my phone app now

update on my ugly ass mug

#me

do ppl still use this site?

who’s still on here?

mxdvs

honeyfox777

https://www.instagram.com/agnijagrigule/

lxst-nxght

Elle Fanning - The Neon Demon

#ellefanning #theneondemon

fallenoutoffashion

do you have a boyfriend?

no

There's something I need to talk about

Before New Years a guy had messaged me on Grindr from Sweden. He was in Newport visiting and we hit it off. I met with him his last day here for drinks (I wasn't able to see him earlier) I thought the whole thing was a tad awkward and when we left he just said goodbye and left. He messaged me a few moments later saying how he loved my personality and how he was bummed we didn't see each other earlier. I went home and showered as he was going to dinner. I crawled into bed a few hours later and he messaged me saying to meet him at a local bar. I was iffy about it but I jumped up, put on clothes, and zoomed out. I am so happy I did. We made eye contact and from that point I knew tonight would be different. I remember the music that was playing when he put his hand on my waist, I remember the song that was playing when he reached for my hand, and I remember the moment we looked a each other and he pulled me in for a kiss. That moment was the best thing I had experienced in a long time. I recently got out of a relationship not too long ago and sadly I wasn't emotionally connected to my ex. With this guy I was already so into him. Was I thinking or moving too fast? Maybe. We went back to the house he was staying at and spent the night together. Talking, kissing, just being with each other (didn't have sex). I woke up the next morning calling an Uber because I had left my car and he pulled me in again for a kiss. Once I got into my Uber this feeling of sadness filled my body. I was more sad leaving him than I was with my last few break ups. I couldn't not see him again. I called him frantically asking if I could see him one last time for coffee and he said yes. It was time for him to go and I said, "I wish there was something I could give you. I don't want you to forget me." He pulled me in looked me in the eyes saying, "You can give me this." And kissed me. I watched his Uber arrive, pick him up, and leave. I felt like the better part of 2017 or a small piece of my heart just shattered. I was a mess the rest of the day. It was the fasted summer time romance I had with a record 12 hours together. We FaceTime twice a day trying to see how long a relationship or whatever it is can last but I know I'm not strong enough to do this. I need him with me. As I'm writing this my eyes are filling with tears of sadness and joy because he was exactly the man I thought he was. I miss him.