Week break. I had a beach vacay. The beach was like I said, so-so. But its better than nothing, right? I got to meet my relatives and some family friends. Got to see RJ, once. (Yadayadayada, yeah... ONCE!) Ate Cello's. (Oh, heaven!) Went around. Tried getting all the sleep I can get. But unfortunately my body clock's well adjusted to my 5:15am waking up routine. So yeah, I'm up that early. I try to squeeze in naps, like after breakfast, after lunch and after dinner. I still end up sleeping by 12.
I missed my kids. Never thought, staying home could be such a drag after a few days. I end up getting really bored, but hey... I did want to rest. And I think I need more. (In three weeks, it'll be Easter Break, so I'll be trying to hibernate.)
The past week, I also managed to think about a lot of things. I realized mistakes. I pondered on the concept of forgiveness, disrespect, blue cheese and jam and a lot more. Mahirap maging bored ang daming naiisip.
1. A friend of mine asked, "What's that thing you wouldn't dare miss about college?" I shrugged and said, "I don't really know..." Days later, I looked back at my college memories and now I know what I wouldn't miss. Second sem, Junior year to my Senior year. When I had a group of batchmates and an organization (A WHOLE ORGANIZATION!) from another college calling me names, all because they all wanted to have a say into a personal fight I had with a former friend. I was never able to have a peaceful dinner out without a number of people calling me names or nagpaparinig, to make things worse, they even involved my friends. When this happened, I was running for a post in the college council. I had to file a case in the OSA and to the day I graduated, nothing happened. All because the group had protection, apparently. Yeah, I dropped the case and let karma come for everyone. From what I hear, karma's gone digital.
2. "Kaya kong magpatawad, pero hindi ko kinakalimutan." I got that from my mom. Yes, I can forgive. You hurt me, I can forgive you... But I would certainly not forget what you've done. Am I a forgiving person? I can be. I don't believe in the sayings, "Time would heal all wounds." and "Forgive and forget." Probably because, I'm a very patient person. And it would take a long time before I get pissed and turn into little miss bitch. And when I do, I am capable of doing anything. I could go mental when I'm mad. The past week I looked back at some of the worst fights and falling outs with people in my life. Some I've already forgiven. I hardly feel any anger anymore. Some, I just don't find it in my heart to forgive. I just pray that one day I wake up and realize that I should forgive them. Some days, I wake up wanting to rip them into pieces. Its not about being bitter. Its more like I sometimes want them to just at least feel the pain I felt and honestly, I wanted to see them while they're getting hurt. Mean? Not even. I was even set at paying somebody to beat the crap out of someone. But then I realized, he was not worth any centavo. I've paid my dues for those evil thoughts. And I learned.
3. I realized I liked being with people I haven't seen in a long time. What I don't like is when everyone starts to comment on how MATABA I am and starts to rub it in and makes quite a discussion about it. I'm not bastos. I was raised not to disrespect elders. A couple of months ago, a family friend went over for my Nanay Lucy's birthday. I ended up seating at their table. As I was about to eat, that old lady started saying, "Grabe, ang tabatabataba mo! Ang lakas mong kumain!" She said all these when I haven't even had my first spoon! I kept my cool, after all its my Nanay's birthday. What pissed me off was, when she finished eating, she took her tira-tira and slid it on to my plate and said, "Ayan, kainin mo pa! Ang tabatabataba mo!" Same friend was at my Lola Pit's house a few weeks ago. It was dinner. As I was about to take my seat in the family table, I heard her again, "Ang laki ni Alex!" What I did was take my plate went inside and ate there instead. Had I stayed, I would have ended up slapping her or throwing my plate at her. To hell with my Lola's China and silverware! But I again kept my cool. Mom heard about it, and was the one who confronted her. My size was never an issue to me. Never did I let it get in the way of anything I do. But there are times that some people can be so rude. I don't mind being called mataba. Its obvious. Pakainin ako ng tira?! That's bastos. I am this big because:
And yeah, I don't fit the Asian BMI. For everyone's info my Portuguese, Spanish and Arab genes are more apparent as seen in my features. And I certainly cannot go on telling that to everyone.
4. I enjoyed being in the kitchen. Seriously. I haven't been in our kitchen for weeks. During the break, I went there and again, enjoyed. Its been months since I cooked. So a couple of nights ago, I made a Fresh Tomato Soup (Fresh tomatoes and basil!) and Lemon-Garlic Chicken Stew. And last night, it was a Middle Eastern Dinner, with pita bread, hummus and Saffron Rice. (Text me for recipes.) Next time I'm on a break, I'll bake again.
5. I realized that I love cheese. I love cheese slices. I love cheese blocks. I love blue cheese and strawberry jam. Papak is what I do. With blue cheese, I even cut a slice in the smelliest, nost mold filled part!
6. I also realized that some people can be malabo when it comes to using MSG. They don't use MSG, but they rely on chicken, beef and pork cubes which are also made with MSG. I remember last Monday a friend of mine texted for a recipe and asked, "Pwedeng mag cubes? Ayaw ko kasi ng Ajinomoto. MSG kasi." Toink.
7. I fetched RJ from school and he had to leave me in a coffeeshop near his school. I overheard this boy say (I didn't overhear exactly... He was talking loud enough for the whole shop to hear him.): "Dude, grabe! Revo lang dindrive ng dad niya! Revo lang, man! Tangina!" Exact words. REVO LANG, MAN! From the girl beside my table, "Sa friend ko, 25k lang, that's so cheap!" I know I'm mayabang. But now this kind of mayabang. Are kids getting worse? Or just the kids from their school? Seriously, do they also have to talk that loud?
8. Oh I'm a big Francis M fan. I grew up listening to his songs. From Mahiwagang Kamote to Three Stars and a Sun. An admirer even sang "Girl Be Mine". I was saddened by his death. No, seriously. He's a great loss to the music industry.
9. I felt bad that I missed the Eheads concert. Okay, let me live it through. Wag na manginggit.
10. I get jealous. I didn't know I can. Glad to know I am capable. For a while, I thought I don't know how.
And a lot more. I won't have enough space if I put everything into writing. Some are a lot personal. Some I can't disclose here. Some could hurt people who'd read it. Maybe next time, when I'm ready I'll write about them.
Anyhow, I'm craving for cheese. Later.
