i don’t regret being a mom. i love being a mom and seeing my daughter grow. i’m looking forward to when there’s no more crying and she becomes able to verbalize what she wants and needs. constantly guessing what she wants til she’s too upset and cries and throws a tantrum. then i’m trying to cool down the yelling in my head at myself for not doing enough. for not knowing enough. for not being enough. i am constantly tired. i am constantly envious of other moms for being better moms than me. envious that they are already communicating with their kids easier than i am.
is me being a mom a mistake? a fluke in the system? i have so much love for my daughter. i apologize to her for not being enough for her now. i apologize for not being enough for her now. i feel like i know what to do based on my mom and based on what i’ve seen from moms on social media. why does it feel like i am not doing it right?
is it me thinking too much about it? i mean she’s a toddler. it shouldn’t be hard. it’s not hard. why is it so exhausting? i put on her favorite movies. i feed her things that are good and i know she will eat and drink. when she’s sick i give her meds and get extra bubble baths. she has toys. i learn and play with her. i clap and say “YAY” when she says the correct color in her toddler speech. what am i missing?
