lou holstad.

❛ i'm getting bored, being part of mankind. there's not a lot to do no more, this race is a waste of time. yeah I'm gonna kill myself. i'd like to see what the papers say, on the state of teenage blues.

[lhlstd]

STEVEN

@lhlstd

❛ y’ever been to the cemetery at night ?? it seems creepy, i know, but it’s actually quite relaxing. and a good place to draw. ❜

      “ I do my best not to fuck with ANY of that shit. I’m not a PUSSY, just. Don’t get the APPEAL, I’d rather be at home playing my GAME BOY.”

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

❝ no, don’t think so. ❞ and her laughter is so clear and bright, it makes words appear like a joke when they’re not. honesty was the best policy and if they’re going to be best friends, she remembers, there’s nothing better than a clean slate. she sits back up, practically falling around the other and it’s color on her face that makes events of the night more than obvious.  ❝  the prettiest, huh? i can get my head around that. even though it’s not true. it gets kind of LONELY around here. jeez, when’s the last time you kissed someone? oh, wait — ❞  the brunette cuts herself off. one, she has no idea why she’s mentioning her LOVE LIFE in front of lou holstad. two, the answer is painfully obvious.  ❝ i wouldn’t have gone to prom with you, back then. now, yeah — probably. lou without winnie, i think he’s a cool guy. dare: prove me right. ❞

        It’s nice to see her laugh so FULLY, it makes him smile even if he’s incapable of grasping how exactly she’s so easily ABLE to do it. Perhaps it’s the alcohol, perhaps he should drink MORE. “ The PRETTIEST. ” He affirms, looking her dead in the eye as if there couldn’t quite possibly be any other truth than that. He doesn’t answer the question that SLIPS from her pretty lips, doesn’t have to, instead choosing to REFLECT it back. “ When’s the last time YOU kissed someone, huh ? ” He invades her space, a byproduct of the alcohol as boundaries DISSIPATE along with any previous CONFIDENCE. “ Winnie was the cool one. ALWAYS. ” He regrets relenting, she didn’t deserve his DEFENCE, not when she had LEFT. “ Just wanna FORGET about her. How am I s’posed to do that, Kitsch ? ”

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

eyes are closed as she finds serenity in the moment, it gives the girl the possibility to focus on the effect of teenage drinking. her heart’s in her ears, or at least that’s what it feels like. and there’s heat, coming from inside as well as her friend’s body warmth. she smiles, all to herself & it’s honest this time —– lou might’ve been the personification of a debby-downer, but the more he protests, the more she finds herself amused.  ❝ exactly that. i’m thinking sexy bunny. ❞  she smirks and it comes with a muffled tone that indicates a chuckle. knowing well he’d protest the game, pauline provocatively inches closer, the upper-hand seemingly all hers.  ❝ would you have gone to prom with me if it wasn’t for . . you know, who. or am i terribly hideous. ❞

       “ A SEXY bunny ? ”He retorts, brows raised DUBIOUSLY. It’s ever in character for the girl who exudes confidence in every step, and she’d look GOOD. Well, BETTER than good and he can’t help but imagine the multitudes of ogling, horny guys who’d agree entirely. She moves closer, he’s NERVOUS. It must be the alcohol setting in and unsettling him as GOOSEBUMPS fleck over pale flesh. He suppresses the whirlwind of thoughts that dance in his mind, though Pauline’s proposed COSTUME seems to hold ground at the FOREFRONT. “ Well, YEAH. I mean, I don’t know if I really wanted to go at all. But I think Dad kinda HOPED I would and I thought, I thought Winnie kinda SECRETLY wanted to. ” He explains, his voice noncommittal as his eyes slowly stray towards hers. “ You’re like the PRETTIEST girl in town, Kisch. If anything I should be asking if YOU’D even have wanted to go for, I mean WITH, me if it wasn’t for HER. ”

[buffysummers]

[ayyariana]

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

her embrace repeats itself and with a chin up high, she switches to a position where doe eyes can actually stare up at ocean ones. pauline seeks HONESTY, not wanting to live with the risk of losing yet another person she bonded with. fingers are kept on the boy’s forearm and a smile spreads all across tan face. she wants more, to re-gain a full-on buzz.  ❝ on halloween, you’re mine. we’re gonna go OFF THE RAILS. ❞  her promise is followed by a chuckle and legs are kicked up on the armrest. admittedly, it’s not her house, but she feels at home.  ❝ we should play something: truth or dare? ❞

        A GROAN escapes his lips before he can stifle it, the thought of HALLOWEEN producing a grimace. It wasn’t that he hated Halloween, he’d just been given no reason to LIKE it. “ Off the rails ? So, getting shit-faced, but in COSTUMES ? ”He questions, the DISILLUSIONMENT with the whole fantasy of Halloween clearly EVIDENT. He leans back into the couch, fingers tapping a gentle beat against her skin. Casual touches seemingly fit for just-declared BEST FRIENDS. “ Dumb game, but I’ll play anyways. TRUTH. ”

[kieraknightley]

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

it stings in her chest, unusually sharp and it’s a feeling of guilt. she feels for him, despite daily annoyance that had built up in high school, she does. the brunette’s way of elbowing other’s is an act, a scared little girl hiding behind the mere idea of fame & fortune. but at the end of the day, her variety of friends is limited in this town. and with a mind so hazy and sentiments turned up due to excessive pre-gaming, it’s more than clear to her. never following orders anyways, slender arms are wrapped around her friend —- just for a minute. the urge to help him arises and it’s fueled by loneliness and no real future.  ❝ you’re just saying that ‘cause you’re drunk. i really could’ve been nicer to you. friends for life? best friends?❞

       Perhaps it’s the CHEAP liquor that courses through his body, or the way the REMNANTS of RESISTED tears still blur his vision, but her proposition is met with a FIRM nod of his head. For a brief moment, Winnie becomes LESS than a shadow as he’s met with a Pauline’s commitment to the town, and in turn, a commitment to HIM. “ You’re DRUNKER than me. ” He retorts, eyes flickering over features that exude a KINDNESS he’s indebted to. “ Best friends. ” He repeats, and he lets the SILENCE that accompanies the promise linger within the air that buzzes with youthful DEBAUCHERY. 

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

he’s telling the truth, one that she’d rather PUSH AWAY. but she can’t, so thoughts are converted to a pout settling on tinted lips. pauline doesn’t mean to cause harm, words harsh & honest, yet intented as more of a tease. this time, she failed. as warm tones witness her friend’s change of attitude, hands are quick to reach out for pale jaw, a secure GRIP forcing lou to face tan visage.  ❝ hey, hey, hey —– you’re not gonna cry now, are you. look at me, it’s fine! don’t be a crybaby drunk. if you want, we can hang out every day. i like your house. and we can hide more booze! now please, smile again before i have to hug you. ❞

      He tries to pull from her touch but it’s with no AVAIL, his actions MEEK, easily slipping into SUBMISSIVENESS. He opens his eyes, shamefully glazed with TEARS, chewing on the inside of his lip as if that could quite possibly HELP matters. “ I’m not, I’m FINE. ” Though the sign of STUBBORNNESS is indicative that he’s withdrawn himself from his SLUMP. Or at least enough not to start CRYING. He offers a forced smile in order to APPEASE the brunette. “ No hugs, but THANKS. You’re like, a REALLY good friend, and I’ve like NEVER told you that before. ” 

[broriarty]

[cocotutter]

I laugh every time I see this

[tananais]

gijs blom in ‘jongens’

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

doe eyes widen at his question, they radiate doll-like innocence with warm tones challenging her friend. possibly, it was the alcohol, the after-buzz of one too many chugs of CHEAP beer, but for once, the young girl couldn’t immediately fire back. maybe it was ANGER, maybe the fear of losing another friend that instead forced a petite figure to inch closer, elbow finally resting on the boy’s shoulder. ❝ PROBLEM? no problem. i just think you should stop whining after someone so plain. a kiss, no tongue, no sparks ; not interesting. ❞ a simple shrug is given and the girl’s usual honestly is destined to be advice.  ❝ the good thing is —– WE met. at least i’m sticking around. wanna know something? now that school’s over, i think life is supposed to be awesome. ❞

      He sits up, any ALLEVIATED tensions reignited by her words and his SENSITIVE nature. It’s the acute sense of SELF-AWARENESS that makes things all the more FRUSTRATING, and the INABILITY to snap out of it sends him in another MOOD altogether. Her truth isn’t HIS, Winnie was never PLAIN to him. “ She was YOUR friend too, Pauline.” He knows he should DEFEND her more, maybe even just LEAVE, definitely go to BED, but he stays anyways, her company a needed FAMILIARITY. “ I am too. Sticking around, I mean. I’m not going to NEW YORK. ” He closes his eyes again, this time to prevent TEARS that had unwillingly come along with the CONFESSION. 

[lhlstd]

SCOTT

“i don’t really have a option here, dude. she is. maybe you should take me there some time, if it’s as pretty as you say it is then i can’t imagine going with anyone else. PENTHOUSES aren’t even that cool, sure there’s space but i think townhouses might be cooler. relax, i get you. i’m into GIRLS but not only girls. it’s the nineties, who cares about that anymore?? yeah, i don’t think you should drop my name when you’re rich and famous, i come with a REPUTATION. if we have a place then that’s half the work done, alcohol and some weed and there you go”

       “ Yeah, sure. I mean it’s starting to get pretty DARK pretty early now, so, and like, I guess that’s ONE good thing about living here. Less POLLUTION equals BRIGHTER stars. We can go this weekend or something, like if you want. W-what ? No, I’m not, I just, I don’t get the BIG deal. Y’know, about SEX and stuff. Ah, that shit doesn’t PHASE me, I don’t care about your rep, you’re COOL.”

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

words are taken in with a roll of eyes, before a hand reaches out for her friend. fingers tightly cling around pale forearm, dragging a taller frame towards her location. ❝ don’t be such a BORE, lou. ❞ a scolding tone finds depth in furrowed brows, a stern expression before another chuckle, lead by intoxication, finds its way out. ❝ at least i’m not already gone. can’t say the same about your . . almost girlfriend? ❞ she means well, but there’s hurt in her voice, one that quickly switches to pettiness.

     He leans into her touch, taking SOLACE in the warmth of her fingertips. He closes his eyes, lets his neck lean against the edge of the couch. “ ‘M not a BORE. ” Though the words are RELENTING, intent lost under EXHAUSTION. So much so, he almost doesn’t hear her words, ALMOST. He pulls away from her contact, eyes opening, a subdued SCORN still evident. “ What’s your PROBLEM, Pauline ? ”

[boutella]

[lhlstd]

SCOTT

“scarlett, or scout. it’s better than nothing, i mean all the people i’ve met so far are annoying. they DON’T?? what kind of hell are you guys living in?? my parents own a bunch in new york, i used the ones they’d forget about as locations for my parties. they’re not THAT expensive, just a few thousands a month to live in one. no, no, no. always care about the girls, always. music’s alright, the thing with dj’s is that they never run out of fame unless they run their mouth and cause controversy. you seem very tame, not trying to be offensive but you’ll probably last. just hide the fragile stuff upstairs and call it a day. if we get a location and alcohol we’re pretty much done with the planning”

       “Oh. Her. Yeah, she’s, I don’t know I try not to hang around her and her, clique. Heard she’s a real HANDFUL. I mean you can go on the balcony of the water tower, looks pretty cool at NIGHT, but yeah, no skyscrapers or swanky PENTHOUSES unfortunately. Yeah, I guess so, I mean I’m not really into, I mean I’m into GIRLS, obviously - just. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna screw up my shot by saying something STUPID, I’ll make sure to give you credit when I’m RICH and FAMOUS. I’ll keep you updated, almost positive Dad will let me throw one. ”

[lhlstd]

PAULINE

@lhlstd ;

fingers still clinging to the neck of a bottle placed in palms, a slim frame crashes into soft cushions. vision blurry, chocolate tones wander around the room which was previously crowded. she’s AMUSED, a hazy feeling spreading. legs find a spot on the sofa and the brunette curls up in position as a soft smile settles on tan face. bemused, stare finds her friend. ❝ don’t mind if i stay. ❞ pauline begins, a chuckle following words. ❝ who knew small town could be so cool. consider me surprised.  ❞

       He should’ve CANCELLED the party, but instead he started DRINKING, and SMOKING, and by that time it was FAR too late. Now there’s people milling everywhere, smiling and tipsy and most likely HAPPY. It’s a sight for wearied, BLOODSHOT eyes, just not a very GOOD one. He’s cradling his beer, taking frequent but small sips, when Pauline comes over. She’s among the MASSES that falls under tipsy and smiling, but he doesn’t MIND that about her, NEVER has. “ Can’t be that cool if everyone leaves it. You’ve just got it all BACKWARDS. Give yourself a few years and you’ll be gone like EVERYONE else. ”