Liberal Bias

If you have a tip on a good train wreck, tweet us @liberalbiasaus

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Kevin Baker quite likes a joke. I must say, I am quite impressed by a lot of the journalism covering the election. Even the Daily Telegraph have been out exposing stories, chasing them down and creating positive action. Take the taking down of Kevin Baker's website. It was a forum made for Mini Cooper, where he used it as a place to tell a lot of tit jokes. The article in the Daily Telegraph didn't specify the actual jokes. Hey, maybe they were good jokes. Either way, what an idiot. Look, we all like a good joke. It's really the stupidity of trying to run for office and having your balls hang out like that. Allow the Daily Tele to close the door on them. Kevin's (other) website, with his biography, tells us how his fiancée Allison looks after their 3 year old son who suffers from a serious heart defect. Hey Kevin - how's your wife's tits? How often do you bang that? Eh? Eh? I get she loves it, right? Does she lick your asshole after caring for your sick toddler? Huh? Huh? Hey, it's just a joke. Kevin Baker is the Liberal Candidate for Charlton, NSW

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Imagine being hit on by Tony Abbott

Cries of sexism flying through the internet, and well, rightly so cos Abbott is a sexist git. But what worries us is - how awkward is this? How awkward that Abbott even judges people on their sex appeal? How awkward to imagine that he actually has a penis of some sort? The victim of Abbott's little joke is Fiona Scott. God, she's having a great campaign. Suddenly she's been thrust into the news because of her leader. Thanks mate! And just what does sex appeal have to do with garnering votes? Perhaps people have been jerking off to Ms Scott's placards in their homes, and maybe that should lead to a few votes. Fiona Scott, Liberal candidate for Lindsay, NSW.

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I suppose this is a gaffe

No-one, however smart, however well-educated, however experienced, is the suppository of all wisdom, and I believe that we will be a much better government because we have a very strong team. When you think about it, he's right. In a -you-really-can't-fight-the-moonlight kinda way. Frankly, no one, no matter how experienced is a suppository of all wisdom. Or inexperienced. Or anything. so yeah, shove that up your ass. I wonder what was on Abbot's brain when he said this. What was the link, the freudian catalyst? Has he been sneaking mining money out of WA?

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Good old Daily Show. Does the job for us.

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Are people just deliberately trying to get on this blog now? If so, well done Henry Heng. I almost want to rename this blog Henry Heng we love you. Get ready people, for the greatest moment of the 2013 campaign. So Heng for PM? Heng 2013? Let's All Vote For Henry t-shirts? I want this all to happen. Henry Heng is the Family First candidate for North Metropolitan, WA UPDATE: Turns out this is a few months old. But still utterly hilarious.

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Well done people of Gosford. And God. He also has a message for Kevin Rudd.

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Sophie Mirabella 'Outgunned'

In a letter to Liberal Party supporters that is now in the hands of press, even Sophie Mirabella's own team is admitting she is being outgunned. Her rival is Cathy McGowan, whose supporters, the letter claims, have been very active in a letter writing campaign. Read the full letter at Crikey Mirabella has held her seat of Indi since 2001, and since that time has made lots of enemies. They seem to be coming out of the woodwork to complain about her in local papers. I well hated individual, even Tony Windsor called her 'nasty'. The problem with these articles, although it makes us lefties feel good, is that it also rallies the right. And conservatives are more likely to folloow the rank and file and write letters because they are told to, because they like order (and are unable to think for themselves, because they are dicks). But for now, let's hope she's having a good day shitting herself and firing Adam Wyldeck, her hapless media advisor. Sophie Mirabella is the Liberal Party candidate for Indi, VIC

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Brisbane cafe Slighty Twisted has taken a stand against some of the horrible news that's been pouring out of the Murdoch papers. We will catch up with them over the weekend, but suffice to say they are laughably bad. In response, Slightly Twisted has banned the Murdoch papers and left this note for it's customers. We don't know what to make of this. They "hey you're not Australian, shut up and go home" sounds a little like "Stop The Boats"... but hey it is, for now, a free country and you don't have to have any newspapers in your cafe. Brisbane Times has a write up.

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There was always going to be one, right? Like finding gay Republicans. someone has to fit both buckets. In John Nguyen, we finally have a refugee candidate who is against refugees. Nguyen is a boat person, and was just five when his family took the perilous journey to find a new life, away from the violence of Vietnam in 1979. His first hand experience with the immigrant and boat people experience has done nothing for him. Lock the doors behind you, John. Like gay Republicans, perhaps John doesn't define himself as being a refugee. It is still the height of hypocrisy, and I would like to know what he would say if I put his family on a boat and kicked into the open water, leaving them to die. There were plenty of comments on John's Facebook today, but those have all been deleted and comments have now been turned off. If you see John around Melbourne, make sure you tell him to go back to where he comes from. And watch his head explode and spew out 'does not compute' over and over. John Nguyen is the Liberal Party candidate for Chisholm, VIC.

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Hey there, rock star! Ever felt any emotions? Bernadette Black knows how you feel. In what feels like a creepy cult recruitment video, Black wants you to know that she understands you. Watch the video at NineMSN. The youtube version she had has since been taken down. What's creepier? Her view of the youth as one big mass of sameness? Or the fact that she is playing the misunderstood card, and trying to get to young minds when they are at their most emotionally vulnerable. Either way - fuck you. Bernadette Black is the Liberal Party candidate for Franklin, Tasmania.

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Stephanie Banister - One Nation Of Facts

One Nation candidate Stephanie Banister took stupidity to a new low. And yes, it's really easy to bandy about the term 'stupid' as an insult, but it's also a descriptor, and the description certainly fits in this case. This person is not very smart.

It's an interview with Channel 7, who rightly takes her to pieces for all her factual mistakes. Firstly, Islam is not a country.

Some people are saying she was humiliated. I'd be surprised if that was true, I'm sure she will remain in her own fantasy world, and facts will continue to bounce right off her.

Stephanie Banister is the One Nation candidate for Rankin, QLD.

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We are now catching up. But this was day 1 after the election was called. Look at this guy. Jaymes Diaz.

Diaz failed to answer many of the questions thrown at him. It started the 2013 election off in a very awkward footing. You can imagine a Simpsons-esque zoom into his brain, and seeing a cartoon ghost town.

Do you reckon he lives at home? Strikes me as a live at home type.

Read a pretty decent write up in SMH.

How did this guy even get to run? Again SMH (surprising I know) has a pretty decent write up on why the poor people of Greenway have this guy as a possibility.

Well done Channel Ten.

Jaymes Diaz is the Liberal Party candidate for Greenway, NSW