be fearless

Hi I'm Lauren. 27 // Jersey City

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i lowkey carry within me an ancient sadness

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He screamed in my face but I won’t tell a soul.

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Life is pain and I feel it so deeply. I will not make it.

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My life is destined for violence.

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I don’t think my friends actually like me.

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I don’t understand my need to shout when I’m hurt.

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That hurt.

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You’d think that I fucking killed someone Jesus Christ I made a mistake.

I know I’m fucking stupid.

I know it was wrong.

I know he’s not going to love me.

I just wanted you to. I just wanted to help you and you fucking hit me where it hurts like hell. It was too much.

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I can’t stop thinking about you

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Whaaaaaaaat did I just do lmao

I think I fucked up

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It only took me three years but I deleted your phone number. I may still have it memorized for now but hopefully it fades. Maybe I won’t be so tempted to text you. Maybe the nightmares will stop.

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I really thought the dreams had stopped.

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I miss you so goddamn much. It’s fucking killing me.

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I just want it to end

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I wish you weren’t so preoccupied with him. I wish you could see how much I’m drowning. I wish i could tell you. I wish you would be here and I wish that you would hold me.

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Im so tired of fighting.