i just love sunflowers ok?
cherry valley forever
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@lightningrodkid
i just love sunflowers ok?
āI guess that makes sense.ā
He continued to pause again, he wasnāt sure what to say at this point. The both of them knew what they were thinking so he felt talking was pretty pointless now.Ā
But as horrible as this place was, it wasnāt like absolutely nothing good came out of this place. Didnāt Lucas meet that Ken person here? He didnāt know everything about what Lucas had here but.. even if it wasnāt much, it was definitely something wasnāt it?Ā
Clausā stern expression formed into a frown, the last thing he ever wanted was to drag Lucas into this too. He was Claus, he was theĀ āstrongerā twin and felt like he just needed to be on his own, especially for something serious like this. Just because he wanted to go through with this didnāt mean he should make his twin do the same.
āStill.. are you sure you want this? I mean I know this world is shitty but.. donāt you have people here who care about you.ā
āBesides, Iām not even sure if this will work, people just end up coming back.ā
He wasnāt sure how to explain, itās just something inside of him knew that if they did this now, theyād succeed and manage toĀ āescapeā this awful place. As morbid as this method was, what other choice was there really?Ā
Besides, he could still hear the faint voice of his motherās voice calling out for him, wanting him to comeĀ āhomeā, where ever that may be.
āItās just .. I have a gut feeling itāll work.ā
There was one regret on his mind leaving this place though, he managed to make one friend here and.. he wasnāt sure what would happen to her after this. All he could really do was hope that Emi would be alright on her own..
āWell...ā He sighed. āWe are psychics. If you have a hunch, itās probably right.ā
Like Claus, he falls silent for a while.
His brother isnāt... entirely wrong, he supposes. Thereās still a handful of people around who donāt find him totally intolerable. But heās long past the point of not wanting to disappoint anyone. Heās well aware heās not exactly one of the cityās darlings. Heās a burden at best.
Besides... people vanished from this place all the time. He wasnāt special. He wasnāt different. No one would really be that affected if he slipped away now, if at all. Heck... chances were, like so many others, his existence would ultimately just end up another afterthought in the back of those peopleās minds. He doubted anyone further from him would even bother noticing.
He could accept being forgotten. It was fine, it was whatever. Lucas was numb to the thought. Wasnāt like he was meant to have a place here, anyways. He was taken here to be used as a tool and discarded when his usefulness ran out. Everyone was; it would be foolhardy to forget that. This was hardly his home--hardlyĀ their home, or anyoneās for that matter.
Even if this place was truly a creation of his own hands, if this was the result of the Dark Dragonās awakening... even if this was Nowhere, transformed, it still wasnāt home. That house that he lived in? Nothing but a pile of wood and mortar. Flammable, breakable. His love; that was home. His closest and most inseparable friends--his crush--but even moreso than that, his family.
Claus is his home, he realizes. And heās homesick as hell.
"Those people arenāt you,ā Lucas says finally.Ā āSo it doesnāt matter. I... I just donāt want to be separated anymore. I donāt want to think about what things would be like if--if you left again.ā
Thereās a pregnant pause as he bites his lip, fighting back a heaving breath his body was threatening to take. Even the inkling of such an idea makes him shudder. He knows that heād be beside himself, inconsolable, self-destructive--reduced to half of a person again. The thought itself is unbearable. The experience would be excruciating.
Wasnāt like he wanted things to go this way in the end, but...
āIāve... thought about this for a very long time,ā he admits, quiet.Ā āYears, I mean. Iām not just saying things for the sake of saying things.ā
Lucas at last manages to look at his twin completely evenly, unflinchingly. He couldnāt lie now if his life depended on it.
(Ha.)
āWherever you decide to go, Iāll follow you. I mean it.ā
He was surprised, not only because of the way the boy entered, but also because of the bat he had in his hand. Suddenly he felt as though he was back in the Oval Tower being visited by Virus and Trip, they never did any true harm to him, but he never felt exactly comfortable around them, he almost felt as if they would eventually harm him. This was how he felt around this boy. He of course, wasnāt as bad as Virus or Trip- not that they were ever too bad.Ā
But. There the boy was, with a bat. Sei highly doubted he just came from a baseball game too, and doubts that this conversation wont end up in someone getting hurt-.
No, ok. He needs to stop himself right there. Thatās. Thatās silly. Heās a young boy. This city is a little too cruel on all its residences. He probably only needed protection to get over here. This city has made Sei far too paranoid.
ā¦Still, he canāt get rid of that lump forming in his throat.
He nodded, pulling out a chair for himself and sitting down in front of the boy, still a little dumbfounded.Ā
āAh, alright, well, if you need anything, Iād be ok with getting you something. He said, trying to be polite. He was just a little nervous about this now.
His nervousness only grew with the youngerās words.Ā āā¦Crime?ā He wasnāt involved in anything that he can remember, except-.
ā¦.Oh. He meant his death.
ā¦
ā¦
ā ā¦He could feel himself beginning to grow even more anxious. Itās been months. He shouldāve forgotten about it. No. Itās only been 2. Regardless. He shouldāve gotten over it. It was his fault.
ā āā¦Iām not sure if thereās much to tell.ā He paused, having to take a short breath, he could feel himself beginning to get light headed, and his legs began to lock up. He felt awful.Ā āI was suddenly attacked by someone wearing a mask, they claimed that I was apart of some terrible crime that happened within the city. Then I was killed.ā It was beginning to get difficult to breath.
ā āAt first I thought he had been talking about my involvements with some terrible organization back in my world. However, it was an execution for the wrong crime. I felt terrible for whoever did it. They didnāt deserve it.ā It was almost as if rather then him being the one to die, the way he described it at least, he had been the killer. He wished he could be selfish right then and there. He just wanted to go lie down for a while more then anything, really, and to stop talking about this all together.
A mask...
Those two words stuck out immediately as Sei gave his story. This was strange... suspicious. Under different circumstances, had Lucas been in a more rational frame of mind, he might have set the bat down, made himself hear this man out and discussed before he acted out against him.
But... a mask.
Lucas had no illusions about what that meant now, and it bore an even deeper hole in his gut. Claus hadnāt mentioned that part, but... but he had mentioned control. He was absolutely certain that his brother would never don that helm again under anything but the most extreme circumstances.
And this man... he looked plainly nervous. Was it because he was under pressure? Or was he just trying to weasel out of directly admitting anything? He wasnāt denyingĀ those accusations--so had he done it, then? Had he really done all that to those people?
Or--a mask?!--Had he done something to Claus?
Just the idea--the idea of that alone compelled him to rise from his seat, grip on his bat white-knuckled.
āYou feel sorry for them,ā He repeated, scoffing.Ā āDonāt BS me. Iām not here for lip service. What did you do? What did you do to them? What did you do to him?!ā
Claus was there kneeling at the shrine looking down on it, memories of Tazmily and how his old life used to be. Was this really how the world turned out? Pulling the final needle and things changing into this? That couldnāt be how things ended.. pulling the needle was supposed to remove that fatassās influence on the world, not just change morph it into something else.
But.. that didnāt matter anymore, soon heāll be with mom and soon heāll finally be able to feel at peace with himself. He knew and completely accepted that no matter what things he did and what happened in this city, nothing would come out for the better. Those scientists were just as bad as Porky himself.. they fuck with not only your life, but your memories, they pretend to be gods and do theseĀ āexperimentsā on people as if they were animals being spliced into chimeras.Ā
Claus was already a victim of that, after all when he was first taken to this city he was brainwashed all over again and put his twin through more torment and suffering. If thereās anything Claus regrets, it was being taken here. If he wasnāt brought to this city, he wouldāve saved his twin so much suffering and anguish. The point was that he needed to leave this place for good, heās never actually been killed before so who knows.. maybe dying really is the permanent solution?Ā
The only regret Claus had was leaving Lucas here by himself, was it cowardly? SomeĀ āstrongā twin he was. But he could never bring himself to tell Lucas what he was doing, Lucas already felt his dying embrace before the final needle.Ā
As Clausā thoughts raced through his head he was surprised by a familiar voice coming up from behind him.
āLucasā¦ā
āWhat⦠are you doing here? And how did you know I was here? Jeez, you must really be a huge pig if you managed to scarf that whole cake down and still managed to find me.ā
Claus pauses as he looks his twin in the eyes, he wanted to go with him? He wanted to do this? Under normal circumstances Claus would definitely object and tell Lucas to go off and let him do this himself but..
things were different now, this city wasnāt home, it was the exact opposite actually. This city was a torture chamber, bringing people back heās close with and taking them away? Torturing them like rats by putting them through completely messed upĀ ātestsā orĀ āmalfunctionsā? How long was it before his parents and friends would be brought here, only for them to be tortured just like Lucas was?
It was horrible and now that he thought about it, what if Porky was in charge of all this? What if behind all of this heās just there sneering and laughing watching everyone in this city squirm?
But still, this was Lucas, his twin, involving him in this in any way hurt.
āLucas, you know what this all means, right?ā
One thing Claus remembered though had him keep an open mind, when he vaguely heard his motherās voice.. didnāt it mention both him and Lucas?
Cāmon, Claus. You knew he didnāt take kindly to being called a pig.
āLay off,ā he says defensively.Ā āIt was a really good cake!ā
āAnyway, I just wanted to talk. And I just knew.Ā Didnāt you? Not much else to it...ā
He lets his breath out sharply, giving up on any details. It isnāt like he has any better way to explain his intuition, anyhow.
Lucas looks his twin back in the eye, glances off, looks him in the eye, looks away. Clausā heart is emblazoned on his sleeve, aināt it... that look on his face is gonna break his heart. It doesnāt take a genius to know whatās on his mind, especially taking the note he left into consideration.
ā...ā
ā...Yeah, I know what it means.ā
Heās thought about this for the longest time now. Five years already. Guess that was as long as he was willing to hold out, huh. Itās been on his mind in some form or another since everything fell apart--that monstrous guilt that had held his heart in a vicegrip all this time.
I want to switch places. The mantra repeated in his dreams and hallucinations, the deepest wish of his to be the one who got lost instead. The one who died. Heād have assumed all of the burden Claus had to carry if he were ever given the chance. Certain situations here had teased at that possibility, agonizingly, but torn back the chance...
Not that heād have ever wanted to force Claus into his position, either. He still remembered the weight in his hands, cradling his head as he passed away...
And so, for as long as his twin had been in this place heād done his damnedest toĀ āsaveā Claus, stave off the shadow of his death with every scrap of power he had. But... recently, heād begun to think, maybe heād had the wrong frame of mind about this.
This place... ālivingā here wasnāt really living at all, was it? Was forcing his brother to endure this any longer really doing him any kindness? Doing himself any kindness?
āI just... I donāt want it like this anymore.ā
On a the dining table in Lucasā cabin was a messily folded up note being weighed down by a plate, on that plate was a fullĀ cakeĀ with a slice missing from it. This time though, it didnāt taste like a rock with salt mixed inside of it.
It was actually soft, fluffy and had a sweet taste to it, like how a cake shouldĀ be made.Ā
Dear Lucas
Sorry I couldnāt do this in person but I wouldnāt be able to live with myself if I did this in face to face, Lucas Iām going to be leaving for a while. I know youāre probably going to hate me for this but I donāt belong here.
Claus died on the DragoĀ plateau, The Masked Man died at the final needle, it makes no sense why Iām here at all.Ā What I did at the final needle shouldāve been the end of everything, it shouldāve been my final resting place and I shouldāve been with mom again..Ā
But instead I was brought here in this city for some sick experiment just like how I was brought back as a brainwashed tool. Itās no different here, I was turned into chimera monster and me being here is only going to hurt you and everyone else. Iāve already took an innocent personās life and Iām not going to let myself hurt anybody else.
I know it might suck, goodbyes are always really crappy butā¦
Like I said before I got to this city, Iām really happy you got to be with me before the end.
Iām sorry things turned out this way, but Iām sure weāll meet again someday.. Iām sure mom and dadāll be there..
So, I guess Iāll see you then..
Claus~
Something tells him he already knows whatās written on that sheet of paper.
Itās been too long since heād seen Claus. Too many days since he destroyed that manās home in a fit of anger. Since he figured out that any real chance to enact revenge for their situation had long passed. Since heād been his āolderā self, only to find that nothing ever really changed in that time and more. Since Ken had disappeared, since heād reunited with familiar friends he could never surely say were present at all in retrospect, since heād first begun having these nasty quarrels with his brother...
But of course, the real tip-off is the cake. It looks just as unappetizing as the one given on their past birthday, but Lucas gives it a shot out of courtesy anyways.
Just like last year, just tasting it manages to bring him to tears--but itās because itās actually good, for once. Itās delicious, in fact. A first for anything his brotherās ever cooked. Just when did you get your act together, you bastard?
Cakeās not what this is here for, though. Swallowing, he reminds himself to breathe normally as he unfolds the letter. As he thought, the contents were almost unsurprising. For all the bravado in his personality, Claus sure shied away from admitting things face-to-face.
A lump in his throat forms, but Lucas forces it back. He--they both knew that for them, feeling like this was inevitable. Difference was, Lucas had been so full of anger before--both at himself and at Claus. Heād choke back his own dark thoughts and feelings with the biggest force he could muster. Righteous and roaring, heād rip through his protests and pull him back. It was his job to keep him safe--to keep him alive. Regardless of his protests.
Funny how much things could change in a couple fortnights or so. No... change was the wrong word. Nothing had changed, really. The situation had simply become clearer to Lucasā eyes. Claus, then, must have come to his own realizations as well.
Their world, physical and personal, had crumbled ages ago. And as much as theyād been drawing it out--as much as there had been things worth sticking around for, the good souls met, friends made, love found--at this point, the world had exhausted what it had to offer them. They were exhausted.
Lucas knew this, and he was certain Claus knew this, too. Silly of him to go sending letters when he could have just saved time and said it to his face! Maybe he was afraid Lucas would have forced him away from his choices once more? Valid concern, but it hadnāt been a precaution heād needed to take this time.
Finishing the cake, he picks up the note and tucks it in his pocket.
That idiot. Does he think he can just go run off by himself again?
It occurs to Lucas that he knows exactly where his brother is by instinct now. They are both incredibly potent psychics, inextricably linked by blood--itās a simple matter to follow the pull he feels from his twin, once he lets go of his apprehension.
He travels from his home in a straight beeline; quickly, but not panicking. Heād feel that taut link fading if the worst were to happen, he was certain of it--the feeling was familiar enough to be undoubtable. He arrives without incident, and sure enough, thereās his brother, standing ahead of the shrine Lucas had constructed at the foot of a secluded hill.
āBro.ā
His confrontational attitude seems to have gone away; his expression more serene than itās looked in a long time.
āThanks for the cake, but... donāt tell me youāre leaving without me.ā
The more people that bring up the holiday, the less Lucas decides he wants to think about it.
He had been a mess last year. (Heād always been a mess, but moreso.) Brother had still been... someone else. The commander. Not himself. Heād still been living in that hole in the ground. There had been all manner of misfortunes and calamities from the previous year thatād carried over...
Yet it hadnāt been as bad as it could have been. Ken was there. Or heād been trying his damnedest to be, at least. Lucas had been... confused, at the time, but he tried not to let his apprehension get in the way of their friendship.
He ought to have realized sooner that Ken was a better person than he was giving him credit for. Heād almost never brought up his feelings around Lucas, and it took Lucas far too long to realize itād been for the sake of the same fear. Ken had loved him so much that heād refrained from saying so, all so that Lucas could be comfortable. All so that he could maintain whatever stability he had.
Stupid. He wished too late that heād said more sooner.
As it was, the previous Valentineās had been one of the most awkward days in his entire life, partially because he realized after the fact that the unnaturally flustered feelings heād held... well, they hadnāt actually been that far from the norm. He loved him, too, for a longer time than he was sure Ken had ever known.
In all, he wishes heād acted on those feelings sooner, and he wishes heād known what to do to keep things from becoming this way.Ā Lucas doesnāt know much. He doesnāt know exactly what happened to Ken. He canāt know. He has no way of knowing, and it twists him up inside.
He just knows that he feels helpless, and he begins to wonder if he ought to start bringing a second bouquet when he visits the shrine.
hereĀ @delectabitĀ I worked hard
āAh, that reminds me.ā
āNeed to visit the shrine again.ā
He didnāt get visitors often, neither did any of his room mates, really. He didnāt know too many people in the city either, so it was a little odd for someone, especially a kid, to be asking for him.
He had thought he would be there for Ib since he looked about her age, though he supposed he didnāt mind too much. After all, since they never got very many, he supposed visitors were a nice surprise.
Still, he was confused, regardless. āā¦Yes, that would be me.ā He said blinking at the child⦠Who was staring at him with such an emotionless face⦠Which was once again very odd. This was actually making him feel just a bit nervous.
What does a child even want with him anyway? He was sure heād never seen him before. Nor anyone who might be his parentā¦.
ā¦Ok, now he was getting just a tad bit too paranoid. Could anyone really blame him though, he died just two months ago. That attack came out of no where and, as much as it pained him to admit it, was unwarrantedā¦Ā
Actually he could blame himself for being too paranoid. Honestly, if someone thought there was a good reason he should die⦠ Can he really abide by their wishes? After experiencing it twice, he canāt say he feels any better about death. Now he really isnāt sure about how he would feel if a situation similar to the one from a few months prior.
ā¦
Still this was just a kid so he probably doesnāt have anything to worry about. He really needs to just stop being paranoid.
Well, regardless, its rude to keep a guest waiting. āWhat exactly do you need from me? If youāre not in too much of a rush for it, I could get you something to drink in the mean time.ā Weird or not, a host should treat his guests politely.
So this was the guy, huh.
Somehow, he wasnāt expecting him to look the way he did. Not that it deterred Lucas; he let himself in without another word, quietly stepping inside with his bat in hand. IfĀ āSeiā saw it, fine. If it made him nervous, good. Heād be putting it to use soon enough, probably.
Not bothering to take his shoes off, he pulled a kitchen chair out, propping his chin on his hands on the handle of the bat as he seated himself.
āDonāt need anything.ā
āI just want to talk,ā he said. Depending on what the otherās answer was,Ā ātalkā might not be the operative verb for long.
It was strange, it occurred to him, that this person hadnāt seemed to have any reaction to his appearance at all. He and Claus were identical, and Claus had admitted to killing 'Seiā. The directory had pointed him at this particular residence, and this man did respond to the name. Thinking about it, heād never bothered to ask how exactly Claus had carried it out...
Actually, he didnāt want to think about it. But here they were.
āYou were involved in a crime a while back.ā He kept his words curt.Ā āIād like you to tell me about it.ā
āBlaze it!ā
ā...I feel like Iāve missed something.ā
āOur birthday is in... the fourth month... the twentieth. Four-twenty.ā
ā...What?ā
What would you do if someone here wanted to be like a parent to you?
āIs that... something people think they can just do? Who says I want that?!ā
āI have... I have parents. Or--I--ugh, it doesnāt matter. Iām not going to just toss them away like yesterdayās garbage, certainly not because someone else wants to coddle me.ā
āIām not some kind of pet someone can just adopt because they want to. I get it. Iām small. I donāt look that tough. I know people think Iām cute or whatever. I hear it, I know. Doesnāt mean they can just up and replace my family...ā
āItās just a stupid thought to begin with. Claus and me... There isnāt an idiot in the world whoād actually want that kind of burden.ā
What would you do if Porky got out of his capsule?
āWhat, the real one? Not a fake or whatever like there was here however long ago...?ā
āWell, when I think about it, being crammed inside that thing, heās got to be hating every single little bit of whatever he calls his life right now. If by some miracle he did get out... I guess Iād have to make up for the slack. Haha.ā
āThat bastard wouldnāt know a moment of peace if I was around. Iād have to make sure every second of his life was a living hell. Like it ought to be.ā
What if you could return to your world (not destroyed) and leave the Hive, would you?
ā...I honestly donāt know. At first, I wanted... well, to be anywhere but here. I do hate it here still, for the most part.ā
āBut... I mean, even if the Dragon hadnāt ripped everything apart? The more I think about it, the more itās like... Would there even be anything left for me there? Tazmily was already dead and left to rot. Not like it was even real in the first place.ā
āNowhere got ruined through-and-through. I had a chance to fix it, and I blew it. For all I know, this city is the result. Who even knows? Maybe I have been home this whole time. And I have people here with me besides. So, as of now, as far as I can see? Thereās no point in going anywhere.ā
"jailbird" [what no she's not here to bust him out what are u sayin]
āKuma...ā
āItās okay. You donāt gotta go getting yourself wrapped up in more of my trouble than you gotta. I didnāt do anything awful, didnāt hurt anyone or nothinā. Just busted up some stuff again...ā
āIāll be out without much trouble. Theyāll probāly just wanna make me make up for it some other way. āCommunity serviceā or whatnot. I donāt mind--well, I donāt care, actually. Not like theyāll change my mind.ā
What would you do if Ken wanna snuggle with ya?
āā¦Iād be happy, of course.ā
āDoubt thatās gonna happen anytime soon, thoughā¦ā
what would you do if boney came to the city?
āHe actually was here, once. It was a long while back. Showed up around the same time Claus did. It was nice, having him around... he kept me company and saved my skin a couple of times. Just like before.ā
āI donāt know where he is now. Last time I saw him was before me, my brother and Ken wound up in that maze... We were stuck in the labyrinth forever, so I have no idea what could have happened to him in the meantime. If he was still in this city, Iām certain his sense of smell would have brought him back around, right? Always did before... so I doubt heās around here any longer. I just hope heās all right, wherever heās gone...ā