i just love sunflowers ok?
Sade Olutola

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oozey mess
d e v o n

Love Begins
$LAYYYTER
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Kiana Khansmith
i don't do bad sauce passes

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Xuebing Du
Not today Justin
hello vonnie

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will byers stan first human second

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Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@lightningrodkid
i just love sunflowers ok?
“I guess that makes sense.”
He continued to pause again, he wasn’t sure what to say at this point. The both of them knew what they were thinking so he felt talking was pretty pointless now.
But as horrible as this place was, it wasn’t like absolutely nothing good came out of this place. Didn’t Lucas meet that Ken person here? He didn’t know everything about what Lucas had here but.. even if it wasn’t much, it was definitely something wasn’t it?
Claus’ stern expression formed into a frown, the last thing he ever wanted was to drag Lucas into this too. He was Claus, he was the ‘stronger’ twin and felt like he just needed to be on his own, especially for something serious like this. Just because he wanted to go through with this didn’t mean he should make his twin do the same.
“Still.. are you sure you want this? I mean I know this world is shitty but.. don’t you have people here who care about you.”
“Besides, I’m not even sure if this will work, people just end up coming back.”
He wasn’t sure how to explain, it’s just something inside of him knew that if they did this now, they’d succeed and manage to ‘escape’ this awful place. As morbid as this method was, what other choice was there really?
Besides, he could still hear the faint voice of his mother’s voice calling out for him, wanting him to come ‘home’, where ever that may be.
“It’s just .. I have a gut feeling it’ll work.”
There was one regret on his mind leaving this place though, he managed to make one friend here and.. he wasn’t sure what would happen to her after this. All he could really do was hope that Emi would be alright on her own..
“Well...” He sighed. “We are psychics. If you have a hunch, it’s probably right.”
Like Claus, he falls silent for a while.
His brother isn’t... entirely wrong, he supposes. There’s still a handful of people around who don’t find him totally intolerable. But he’s long past the point of not wanting to disappoint anyone. He’s well aware he’s not exactly one of the city’s darlings. He’s a burden at best.
Besides... people vanished from this place all the time. He wasn’t special. He wasn’t different. No one would really be that affected if he slipped away now, if at all. Heck... chances were, like so many others, his existence would ultimately just end up another afterthought in the back of those people’s minds. He doubted anyone further from him would even bother noticing.
He could accept being forgotten. It was fine, it was whatever. Lucas was numb to the thought. Wasn’t like he was meant to have a place here, anyways. He was taken here to be used as a tool and discarded when his usefulness ran out. Everyone was; it would be foolhardy to forget that. This was hardly his home--hardly their home, or anyone’s for that matter.
Even if this place was truly a creation of his own hands, if this was the result of the Dark Dragon’s awakening... even if this was Nowhere, transformed, it still wasn’t home. That house that he lived in? Nothing but a pile of wood and mortar. Flammable, breakable. His love; that was home. His closest and most inseparable friends--his crush--but even moreso than that, his family.
Claus is his home, he realizes. And he’s homesick as hell.
"Those people aren’t you,” Lucas says finally. “So it doesn’t matter. I... I just don’t want to be separated anymore. I don’t want to think about what things would be like if--if you left again.”
There’s a pregnant pause as he bites his lip, fighting back a heaving breath his body was threatening to take. Even the inkling of such an idea makes him shudder. He knows that he’d be beside himself, inconsolable, self-destructive--reduced to half of a person again. The thought itself is unbearable. The experience would be excruciating.
Wasn’t like he wanted things to go this way in the end, but...
“I’ve... thought about this for a very long time,” he admits, quiet. “Years, I mean. I’m not just saying things for the sake of saying things.”
Lucas at last manages to look at his twin completely evenly, unflinchingly. He couldn’t lie now if his life depended on it.
(Ha.)
“Wherever you decide to go, I’ll follow you. I mean it.”
He was surprised, not only because of the way the boy entered, but also because of the bat he had in his hand. Suddenly he felt as though he was back in the Oval Tower being visited by Virus and Trip, they never did any true harm to him, but he never felt exactly comfortable around them, he almost felt as if they would eventually harm him. This was how he felt around this boy. He of course, wasn’t as bad as Virus or Trip- not that they were ever too bad.
But. There the boy was, with a bat. Sei highly doubted he just came from a baseball game too, and doubts that this conversation wont end up in someone getting hurt-.
No, ok. He needs to stop himself right there. That’s. That’s silly. He’s a young boy. This city is a little too cruel on all its residences. He probably only needed protection to get over here. This city has made Sei far too paranoid.
…Still, he can’t get rid of that lump forming in his throat.
He nodded, pulling out a chair for himself and sitting down in front of the boy, still a little dumbfounded.
“Ah, alright, well, if you need anything, I’d be ok with getting you something. He said, trying to be polite. He was just a little nervous about this now.
His nervousness only grew with the younger’s words. “…Crime?” He wasn’t involved in anything that he can remember, except-.
….Oh. He meant his death.
…
…
– …He could feel himself beginning to grow even more anxious. It’s been months. He should’ve forgotten about it. No. It’s only been 2. Regardless. He should’ve gotten over it. It was his fault.
– “…I’m not sure if there’s much to tell.” He paused, having to take a short breath, he could feel himself beginning to get light headed, and his legs began to lock up. He felt awful. “I was suddenly attacked by someone wearing a mask, they claimed that I was apart of some terrible crime that happened within the city. Then I was killed.” It was beginning to get difficult to breath.
– “At first I thought he had been talking about my involvements with some terrible organization back in my world. However, it was an execution for the wrong crime. I felt terrible for whoever did it. They didn’t deserve it.” It was almost as if rather then him being the one to die, the way he described it at least, he had been the killer. He wished he could be selfish right then and there. He just wanted to go lie down for a while more then anything, really, and to stop talking about this all together.
A mask...
Those two words stuck out immediately as Sei gave his story. This was strange... suspicious. Under different circumstances, had Lucas been in a more rational frame of mind, he might have set the bat down, made himself hear this man out and discussed before he acted out against him.
But... a mask.
Lucas had no illusions about what that meant now, and it bore an even deeper hole in his gut. Claus hadn’t mentioned that part, but... but he had mentioned control. He was absolutely certain that his brother would never don that helm again under anything but the most extreme circumstances.
And this man... he looked plainly nervous. Was it because he was under pressure? Or was he just trying to weasel out of directly admitting anything? He wasn’t denying those accusations--so had he done it, then? Had he really done all that to those people?
Or--a mask?!--Had he done something to Claus?
Just the idea--the idea of that alone compelled him to rise from his seat, grip on his bat white-knuckled.
“You feel sorry for them,” He repeated, scoffing. “Don’t BS me. I’m not here for lip service. What did you do? What did you do to them? What did you do to him?!”
Claus was there kneeling at the shrine looking down on it, memories of Tazmily and how his old life used to be. Was this really how the world turned out? Pulling the final needle and things changing into this? That couldn’t be how things ended.. pulling the needle was supposed to remove that fatass’s influence on the world, not just change morph it into something else.
But.. that didn’t matter anymore, soon he’ll be with mom and soon he’ll finally be able to feel at peace with himself. He knew and completely accepted that no matter what things he did and what happened in this city, nothing would come out for the better. Those scientists were just as bad as Porky himself.. they fuck with not only your life, but your memories, they pretend to be gods and do these ‘experiments’ on people as if they were animals being spliced into chimeras.
Claus was already a victim of that, after all when he was first taken to this city he was brainwashed all over again and put his twin through more torment and suffering. If there’s anything Claus regrets, it was being taken here. If he wasn’t brought to this city, he would’ve saved his twin so much suffering and anguish. The point was that he needed to leave this place for good, he’s never actually been killed before so who knows.. maybe dying really is the permanent solution?
The only regret Claus had was leaving Lucas here by himself, was it cowardly? Some ‘strong’ twin he was. But he could never bring himself to tell Lucas what he was doing, Lucas already felt his dying embrace before the final needle.
As Claus’ thoughts raced through his head he was surprised by a familiar voice coming up from behind him.
“Lucas…”
“What… are you doing here? And how did you know I was here? Jeez, you must really be a huge pig if you managed to scarf that whole cake down and still managed to find me.”
Claus pauses as he looks his twin in the eyes, he wanted to go with him? He wanted to do this? Under normal circumstances Claus would definitely object and tell Lucas to go off and let him do this himself but..
things were different now, this city wasn’t home, it was the exact opposite actually. This city was a torture chamber, bringing people back he’s close with and taking them away? Torturing them like rats by putting them through completely messed up ‘tests’ or ‘malfunctions’? How long was it before his parents and friends would be brought here, only for them to be tortured just like Lucas was?
It was horrible and now that he thought about it, what if Porky was in charge of all this? What if behind all of this he’s just there sneering and laughing watching everyone in this city squirm?
But still, this was Lucas, his twin, involving him in this in any way hurt.
“Lucas, you know what this all means, right?”
One thing Claus remembered though had him keep an open mind, when he vaguely heard his mother’s voice.. didn’t it mention both him and Lucas?
C’mon, Claus. You knew he didn’t take kindly to being called a pig.
“Lay off,” he says defensively. “It was a really good cake!”
“Anyway, I just wanted to talk. And I just knew. Didn’t you? Not much else to it...”
He lets his breath out sharply, giving up on any details. It isn’t like he has any better way to explain his intuition, anyhow.
Lucas looks his twin back in the eye, glances off, looks him in the eye, looks away. Claus’ heart is emblazoned on his sleeve, ain’t it... that look on his face is gonna break his heart. It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s on his mind, especially taking the note he left into consideration.
“...”
“...Yeah, I know what it means.”
He’s thought about this for the longest time now. Five years already. Guess that was as long as he was willing to hold out, huh. It’s been on his mind in some form or another since everything fell apart--that monstrous guilt that had held his heart in a vicegrip all this time.
I want to switch places. The mantra repeated in his dreams and hallucinations, the deepest wish of his to be the one who got lost instead. The one who died. He’d have assumed all of the burden Claus had to carry if he were ever given the chance. Certain situations here had teased at that possibility, agonizingly, but torn back the chance...
Not that he’d have ever wanted to force Claus into his position, either. He still remembered the weight in his hands, cradling his head as he passed away...
And so, for as long as his twin had been in this place he’d done his damnedest to ‘save’ Claus, stave off the shadow of his death with every scrap of power he had. But... recently, he’d begun to think, maybe he’d had the wrong frame of mind about this.
This place... ‘living’ here wasn’t really living at all, was it? Was forcing his brother to endure this any longer really doing him any kindness? Doing himself any kindness?
“I just... I don’t want it like this anymore.”
On a the dining table in Lucas’ cabin was a messily folded up note being weighed down by a plate, on that plate was a full cake with a slice missing from it. This time though, it didn’t taste like a rock with salt mixed inside of it.
It was actually soft, fluffy and had a sweet taste to it, like how a cake should be made.
Dear Lucas
Sorry I couldn’t do this in person but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did this in face to face, Lucas I’m going to be leaving for a while. I know you’re probably going to hate me for this but I don’t belong here.
Claus died on the Drago plateau, The Masked Man died at the final needle, it makes no sense why I’m here at all. What I did at the final needle should’ve been the end of everything, it should’ve been my final resting place and I should’ve been with mom again..
But instead I was brought here in this city for some sick experiment just like how I was brought back as a brainwashed tool. It’s no different here, I was turned into chimera monster and me being here is only going to hurt you and everyone else. I’ve already took an innocent person’s life and I’m not going to let myself hurt anybody else.
I know it might suck, goodbyes are always really crappy but…
Like I said before I got to this city, I’m really happy you got to be with me before the end.
I’m sorry things turned out this way, but I’m sure we’ll meet again someday.. I’m sure mom and dad’ll be there..
So, I guess I’ll see you then..
Claus~
Something tells him he already knows what’s written on that sheet of paper.
It’s been too long since he’d seen Claus. Too many days since he destroyed that man’s home in a fit of anger. Since he figured out that any real chance to enact revenge for their situation had long passed. Since he’d been his ‘older’ self, only to find that nothing ever really changed in that time and more. Since Ken had disappeared, since he’d reunited with familiar friends he could never surely say were present at all in retrospect, since he’d first begun having these nasty quarrels with his brother...
But of course, the real tip-off is the cake. It looks just as unappetizing as the one given on their past birthday, but Lucas gives it a shot out of courtesy anyways.
Just like last year, just tasting it manages to bring him to tears--but it’s because it’s actually good, for once. It’s delicious, in fact. A first for anything his brother’s ever cooked. Just when did you get your act together, you bastard?
Cake’s not what this is here for, though. Swallowing, he reminds himself to breathe normally as he unfolds the letter. As he thought, the contents were almost unsurprising. For all the bravado in his personality, Claus sure shied away from admitting things face-to-face.
A lump in his throat forms, but Lucas forces it back. He--they both knew that for them, feeling like this was inevitable. Difference was, Lucas had been so full of anger before--both at himself and at Claus. He’d choke back his own dark thoughts and feelings with the biggest force he could muster. Righteous and roaring, he’d rip through his protests and pull him back. It was his job to keep him safe--to keep him alive. Regardless of his protests.
Funny how much things could change in a couple fortnights or so. No... change was the wrong word. Nothing had changed, really. The situation had simply become clearer to Lucas’ eyes. Claus, then, must have come to his own realizations as well.
Their world, physical and personal, had crumbled ages ago. And as much as they’d been drawing it out--as much as there had been things worth sticking around for, the good souls met, friends made, love found--at this point, the world had exhausted what it had to offer them. They were exhausted.
Lucas knew this, and he was certain Claus knew this, too. Silly of him to go sending letters when he could have just saved time and said it to his face! Maybe he was afraid Lucas would have forced him away from his choices once more? Valid concern, but it hadn’t been a precaution he’d needed to take this time.
Finishing the cake, he picks up the note and tucks it in his pocket.
That idiot. Does he think he can just go run off by himself again?
It occurs to Lucas that he knows exactly where his brother is by instinct now. They are both incredibly potent psychics, inextricably linked by blood--it’s a simple matter to follow the pull he feels from his twin, once he lets go of his apprehension.
He travels from his home in a straight beeline; quickly, but not panicking. He’d feel that taut link fading if the worst were to happen, he was certain of it--the feeling was familiar enough to be undoubtable. He arrives without incident, and sure enough, there’s his brother, standing ahead of the shrine Lucas had constructed at the foot of a secluded hill.
“Bro.”
His confrontational attitude seems to have gone away; his expression more serene than it’s looked in a long time.
“Thanks for the cake, but... don’t tell me you’re leaving without me.”
The more people that bring up the holiday, the less Lucas decides he wants to think about it.
He had been a mess last year. (He’d always been a mess, but moreso.) Brother had still been... someone else. The commander. Not himself. He’d still been living in that hole in the ground. There had been all manner of misfortunes and calamities from the previous year that’d carried over...
Yet it hadn’t been as bad as it could have been. Ken was there. Or he’d been trying his damnedest to be, at least. Lucas had been... confused, at the time, but he tried not to let his apprehension get in the way of their friendship.
He ought to have realized sooner that Ken was a better person than he was giving him credit for. He’d almost never brought up his feelings around Lucas, and it took Lucas far too long to realize it’d been for the sake of the same fear. Ken had loved him so much that he’d refrained from saying so, all so that Lucas could be comfortable. All so that he could maintain whatever stability he had.
Stupid. He wished too late that he’d said more sooner.
As it was, the previous Valentine’s had been one of the most awkward days in his entire life, partially because he realized after the fact that the unnaturally flustered feelings he’d held... well, they hadn’t actually been that far from the norm. He loved him, too, for a longer time than he was sure Ken had ever known.
In all, he wishes he’d acted on those feelings sooner, and he wishes he’d known what to do to keep things from becoming this way. Lucas doesn’t know much. He doesn’t know exactly what happened to Ken. He can’t know. He has no way of knowing, and it twists him up inside.
He just knows that he feels helpless, and he begins to wonder if he ought to start bringing a second bouquet when he visits the shrine.
here @delectabit I worked hard
“Ah, that reminds me.”
“Need to visit the shrine again.”
He didn’t get visitors often, neither did any of his room mates, really. He didn’t know too many people in the city either, so it was a little odd for someone, especially a kid, to be asking for him.
He had thought he would be there for Ib since he looked about her age, though he supposed he didn’t mind too much. After all, since they never got very many, he supposed visitors were a nice surprise.
Still, he was confused, regardless. “…Yes, that would be me.” He said blinking at the child… Who was staring at him with such an emotionless face… Which was once again very odd. This was actually making him feel just a bit nervous.
What does a child even want with him anyway? He was sure he’d never seen him before. Nor anyone who might be his parent….
…Ok, now he was getting just a tad bit too paranoid. Could anyone really blame him though, he died just two months ago. That attack came out of no where and, as much as it pained him to admit it, was unwarranted…
Actually he could blame himself for being too paranoid. Honestly, if someone thought there was a good reason he should die… Can he really abide by their wishes? After experiencing it twice, he can’t say he feels any better about death. Now he really isn’t sure about how he would feel if a situation similar to the one from a few months prior.
…
Still this was just a kid so he probably doesn’t have anything to worry about. He really needs to just stop being paranoid.
Well, regardless, its rude to keep a guest waiting. “What exactly do you need from me? If you’re not in too much of a rush for it, I could get you something to drink in the mean time.” Weird or not, a host should treat his guests politely.
So this was the guy, huh.
Somehow, he wasn’t expecting him to look the way he did. Not that it deterred Lucas; he let himself in without another word, quietly stepping inside with his bat in hand. If ‘Sei’ saw it, fine. If it made him nervous, good. He’d be putting it to use soon enough, probably.
Not bothering to take his shoes off, he pulled a kitchen chair out, propping his chin on his hands on the handle of the bat as he seated himself.
“Don’t need anything.”
“I just want to talk,” he said. Depending on what the other’s answer was, ‘talk’ might not be the operative verb for long.
It was strange, it occurred to him, that this person hadn’t seemed to have any reaction to his appearance at all. He and Claus were identical, and Claus had admitted to killing 'Sei’. The directory had pointed him at this particular residence, and this man did respond to the name. Thinking about it, he’d never bothered to ask how exactly Claus had carried it out...
Actually, he didn’t want to think about it. But here they were.
“You were involved in a crime a while back.” He kept his words curt. “I’d like you to tell me about it.”
“Blaze it!”
“...I feel like I’ve missed something.”
“Our birthday is in... the fourth month... the twentieth. Four-twenty.”
“...What?”
What would you do if someone here wanted to be like a parent to you?
“Is that... something people think they can just do? Who says I want that?!”
“I have... I have parents. Or--I--ugh, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to just toss them away like yesterday’s garbage, certainly not because someone else wants to coddle me.”
“I’m not some kind of pet someone can just adopt because they want to. I get it. I’m small. I don’t look that tough. I know people think I’m cute or whatever. I hear it, I know. Doesn’t mean they can just up and replace my family...”
“It’s just a stupid thought to begin with. Claus and me... There isn’t an idiot in the world who’d actually want that kind of burden.”
What would you do if Porky got out of his capsule?
“What, the real one? Not a fake or whatever like there was here however long ago...?”
“Well, when I think about it, being crammed inside that thing, he’s got to be hating every single little bit of whatever he calls his life right now. If by some miracle he did get out... I guess I’d have to make up for the slack. Haha.”
“That bastard wouldn’t know a moment of peace if I was around. I’d have to make sure every second of his life was a living hell. Like it ought to be.”
What if you could return to your world (not destroyed) and leave the Hive, would you?
“...I honestly don’t know. At first, I wanted... well, to be anywhere but here. I do hate it here still, for the most part.”
“But... I mean, even if the Dragon hadn’t ripped everything apart? The more I think about it, the more it’s like... Would there even be anything left for me there? Tazmily was already dead and left to rot. Not like it was even real in the first place.”
“Nowhere got ruined through-and-through. I had a chance to fix it, and I blew it. For all I know, this city is the result. Who even knows? Maybe I have been home this whole time. And I have people here with me besides. So, as of now, as far as I can see? There’s no point in going anywhere.”
"jailbird" [what no she's not here to bust him out what are u sayin]
“Kuma...”
“It’s okay. You don’t gotta go getting yourself wrapped up in more of my trouble than you gotta. I didn’t do anything awful, didn’t hurt anyone or nothin’. Just busted up some stuff again...”
“I’ll be out without much trouble. They’ll prob’ly just wanna make me make up for it some other way. ‘Community service’ or whatnot. I don’t mind--well, I don’t care, actually. Not like they’ll change my mind.”
What would you do if Ken wanna snuggle with ya?
“…I’d be happy, of course.”
“Doubt that’s gonna happen anytime soon, though…”
what would you do if boney came to the city?
“He actually was here, once. It was a long while back. Showed up around the same time Claus did. It was nice, having him around... he kept me company and saved my skin a couple of times. Just like before.”
“I don’t know where he is now. Last time I saw him was before me, my brother and Ken wound up in that maze... We were stuck in the labyrinth forever, so I have no idea what could have happened to him in the meantime. If he was still in this city, I’m certain his sense of smell would have brought him back around, right? Always did before... so I doubt he’s around here any longer. I just hope he’s all right, wherever he’s gone...”